Chapter 29 – Raelyn
Chapter Twenty-Nine
RAELYN
Shock. Utter and complete shock is the only way to describe how I’m feeling after Kian explains the alchemist’s findings. I was betrayed and lied to by the person I thought had been protecting and caring for me all my life.
“What in the realms? I don’t understand . . . How could he?”
Kian lays a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “I’m sorry you had to find so many things out this way . . .”
I palm my face and take a breath to calm myself before I start crying or screaming. “What do you think I should do?” I ask.
“I think you should wean off the tonic unless something serious happens when you get off it.”
I bite my lip. “I agree . . . but I can’t help but wonder what it’s suppressing and how that could alter my life even more.”
“Hennig is one of the best in our realm, and I trust his skill. I’m sure he will help you with whatever comes up.”
“I sure hope so.” I fling my hands in the air. “I just wish I had some clue of when Father will be back. I have so many damn questions for him to answer. If he’s not my actual father, who is? What has he been hiding by forcing this tonic down my throat?”
The worrisome suspicion in the back of my mind wants to crawl out and scream, but I’m scared Kian will think I’m a lunatic. Until I have definitive proof, I’m keeping my suspicions to myself.
“Thank you for looking into this for me . . . I guess I should take my half portion of tonic now . . .”
Kian grimaces but hands me the vial, and I swig down half of it.
“Hennig said he would make you more and send a weaning schedule for you.”
“I’ll try to make note of any changes or weird symptoms,” I say.
“Would you like to go for a walk in the gardens?” Kian asks. “It would probably be good for us to be seen together. I believe it’s an overcast day if you’re worried about the sun . . . though you haven’t seemed any worse for wear after the last few instances.”
“True,” I muse. “But doesn’t it make our case if we stay locked up in our room all day?” I joke.
Kian smirks. “What a compliment that you believe I have such stamina.”
I flush beet red. “Um, that’s not—”
Kian holds up a finger to stop my sputtering before leaning in and whispering in my ear, “Trust me, love, I can more than hold my own. And I’m willing to prove it if you ever want to find out.”
Heat floods my core, and I bite my tongue to keep from reacting and goading him further.
“A walk sounds fine.”
He chuckles and rolls his eyes. “Let’s go then.”
We make our way through the halls toward the entrance to the gardens. To our surprise, the sun is out in full force, and as soon as I step out into it, I hiss as it beats down painfully on me.
“Rae? Are you all right?” Kian looks concerned and pulls me into the shade. “What happened?”
I look around, confused. “I . . . I don’t know what that was,” I admit.
Kian places a hand on my forehead. “Are you ill? You feel a bit warm.”
“I think I need to go lie down,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
“Of course, I’ll escort you back.”
“No, I’ll be fine. Go for your walk. I insist.”
He looks around uneasily. “Are you sure?”
I give him a wan smile but nod. “Of course I’m sure. Please. I want you to enjoy the beautiful weather . . . and I kind of want to be alone right now.”
Kian’s jaw tightens and he looks like he’s going to fight me on it, but he concedes. “I’ll see you at dinner.”
I nod and he walks off, shoulders drooping. While I regret sending him away, I really need a moment to myself.
This doesn’t make any sense. The last time I was sick had been hours after my sun exposure following the wedding ball.
But maybe that was because I’d taken my tonic earlier in the day and it had worn off some?
When Kian proposed out in my garden, my tonic had broken in my sitting room, so I’d skipped it and had no reaction to the sun .
. . Is my tonic responsible for my reactions?
Does it somehow cause my affliction? And if that is the case, why in the realms would Father want me allergic to the sun?
A pit of rage forms in my gut at all the deception. I march through the halls, feeling instantly better in the protection of the palace. Perhaps it’s time to dig into the research I’ve been avoiding for fear of what I might discover.
The library smells of parchment and ancient texts, and I couldn’t be happier.
Cozy alcoves with lighting bright enough to read but not so bright to make one squint look perfect for my research.
I glance around for a librarian or someone to help me navigate the seemingly endless, sprawling space, but there is no one to be found.
I wander down one of the towering aisles of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, my fingers grazing along the books, and I hope something will jump out at me, something that will tell me if I’m in the right spot or not.
Most of the tomes are organized by century, and there are plenty of textbooks on the history of our realm.
Wandering down another aisle, I take in the colorful spines that look like delightful stories to get lost in.
I make a note to return to find some fresh reading material for later, but so far, nothing seems to hold the information I seek.
I turn the corner and stumble upon a librarian in aubergine robes.
“Oh, hello.” I smile. “Do you have a minute to help me find something?”
“Of course, my dear,” she says, looking pleased. “What is it you’re looking for?”
“Are there any texts on the gods and their offspring?” I ask almost hesitantly.
The librarian frowns and looks around. “We don’t have many . . . but I think I might have something along those lines. Do you mind if I ask why?”
I shrug. “Just curious. Since the gods left our realm, they weren’t really taught in my studies.”
“Fair enough,” she replies. “Follow me.”
We walk down more aisles, and a few turns later, she points me toward a small section of ancient-looking texts.
“Now, you might be aware, the gods haven’t been seen in almost a century. Rumors of offspring even longer than that.”
“Is that so?” I ask.
“Rakveren’s royal line comes from the offspring of the moon goddess, Luna, but that was at least two centuries past. Their bloodline would be almost completely diluted by now.”
“Fascinating,” I say. “Now, being directly descended from a god, wouldn’t that have given their offspring some form of immortality?”
“Yes, to a degree, but unless the gods deigned to grant full immortality, even their offspring could perish. They might have been a little bit stronger and lived a little longer than the average human, but that was the extent of it.”
I take in all her words with rapt attention. So much information that has never been taught in all my years of study at home under the tutelage of governesses.
“I know some healers are said to be descendants of the goddess Galyna’s line.”
The librarian looks pleased to have my attention.
“That’s correct, though only one comes to mind who might actually carry some of her blood.
The king employs a few truth-sayers descended from the god of truth—Veritius.
Again, their bloodlines are so diluted, I’m not sure how much power they truly carry. ”
“Was there anything else unusual about the offspring?” I’m almost afraid to ask.
The librarian taps her chin. “Let me think . . . oh, yes, actually. Demi-gods—how the texts refer to the gods’ offspring—were said to be able to replenish strength by either drinking blood or drawing from the element they were tied to.
Say one were descended from Luna, they would find their power strongest at night. ”
An icy chill trickles down my spine. “That’s interesting . . .”
“Yes, well, as I said, it’s been centuries since our realm has had any demi-gods. Apparently, the gods, when they left, decided we were no longer worthy to bear their children, or perhaps they worried that their power would be abused.”
“Why did the gods disappear?” I ask.
“That is the age-old question. Some believe they grew tired of this realm and left it to slowly wither away.”
“But they can’t abandon us like that, can they?” I ask.
“My dear, the gods will do as they may. Perhaps we angered them somehow. But our realm is most definitely paying the price.”
“What do you mean?”
She looks around, almost as if she shouldn’t utter her next words.
Her voice drops to a hushed whisper. “The lords and ladies are doing just fine, and the palace is obviously not seeing any lack, but the people in our city and surrounding towns and villages . . . they are suffering. If it weren’t for the Shadow, I’m afraid they would be much worse off. ”
“The Shadow?” I gasp. “What? Who’s that?”
“My dear, how sheltered are you?” The librarian tsks, then frowns a little. “Are you even supposed to be here?”
“I’m sorry . . . I’m Lady—I mean Princess Raelyn. I was bound to the prince yesterday. I hardly ever left my manor before now.”
The librarian looks me up and down. “Interesting.”
I shrug awkwardly, not sure how to respond to that.
“Anyway, as I was saying, if it weren’t for the”—she mouths the word “vigilante”—“our people would be suffering even more. I fear for our world if something doesn’t change or if the gods decide to truly abandon us.”
I stand in shock, my mouth agape. I had no idea things were so dire in our world.
Though when I consider the state of our lands and Father’s declining crops .
. . I suppose I should have put things together.
Was the masked man in my home this “Shadow” she spoke of?
Does my father have something to do with this?
Once again, I’m frustrated by all the questions I have no answers to.
“Thank you for sharing the information with me. You’ve opened my eyes,” I say softly.
“Not a problem. Please let me know if there is anything else I can assist you with.”