Chapter 39 – Raelyn
Chapter Thirty-Nine
RAELYN
The sun is calling to me. Bright light fills our wing, and I’m delighted at the idea of a stroll in the gardens. After days of overcast weather, it’s about time the sun shows itself.
As I struggle to fight the tangles in my hair, I regret telling Sera to take the morning off. Oh well, I’ll manage.
Unbidden, my thoughts drift to Kian and his secret.
He is the one protecting and trying to help his people.
Anger at being left in the dark by another man in my life threatens to overwhelm the pride I also feel for him.
As dangerous as it is, proven by the injuries and multitude of scars, he’s making a difference.
He should be next in line for the throne.
With his father and brother doing nothing, he’s the only hope our kingdom has.
Though . . . that would mean I’d be queen. I shudder. No. I have no desire for that, but unfortunately, I’m stuck with him until death parts us, and I only have myself to blame for that one.
Am I willing to forgive the lies? The secrets? I really want to . . . but my heart aches painfully at the betrayal. One step at a time. One day at a time. Our agreement never said I had to love him . . . but then why does it hurt so much?
I dress and grab a pastry from the table before heading out.
The tonic has fully left my system, and my morning walks have given me a fresh take on life.
I’ve never felt this strong or healthy, and it makes me angry all over again that my father kept this from me out of some misguided notion of protection. What else did he do?
I come alive the minute I step into the sunlight, its warmth caressing me from my head to my toes. While it’s only been a few days, when I look down at my skin, it’s no longer pale; there are freckles dotting my arms, and I know there are some on my cheeks and nose.
My eyes close, and I tilt my head toward the sun as I take a few steps on the path, until I collide with a solid figure.
“Oh, shit!” a male voice exclaims.
My eyes fly open, and I step back, trying to right myself, only to be steadied by the tall man in front of me. “Thank you,” I breathe.
“Gods, you shouldn’t be thanking me,” the man jokes. “I’m the one who nearly took you out!”
“Well, to be fair, I was walking with my eyes closed.” I crinkle my nose and frown.
The man laughs, and it’s almost familiar. I take in his tall, lanky stature and friendly smile. His blue eyes shine with mirth as he brushes a dark curl away from his face. “As much as I appreciate you taking some of the blame, it was I who walked into you.”
I smile and tilt my head. “Have we met?” I ask. “I almost feel as if I should know you.”
“My father has business with yours; I’ve probably seen you around your manor. Regardless, Lord Havordshire, at your service, but my friends call me Dylan.”
“My friends call me Raelyn,” I reply with a smile.
His eyes light up, and he holds out an arm. “Would you like to stroll with me, Raelyn?”
I pause. Is this appropriate? I’m a married woman. What would happen if I were seen walking with a man who wasn’t my husband?
He notes my hesitation, and his eyes immediately fall on the extravagant ring on my right finger and the faint bonding mark on my arm. “My apologies, lady. I didn’t realize you were bound. Who’s the lucky lord?”
“Prince Kian, actually,” I say with a blush.
“Princess!” Dylan’s brows arch up in surprise, and he gives a stiff bow. “Once again, I am so sorry.”
I force a laugh, looking around the garden. “I’m afraid I’m not used to this yet . . . Please don’t get all formal on me now.”
Dylan’s shoulders relax, and he runs a hand through his hair.
“I do apologize. I feel as if I’ve entirely mucked up this encounter.
I just got back to court after an extended absence.
The prince’s bonding was one of the first things I heard about, but I hadn’t heard your name.
Please forgive me for being so forward.”
I wrap my arms around myself, a slight prickle of unease telling me to be cautious. “I’m fairly new here at court too.” I offer him a shy smile. “I hardly ever left my manor, and being here is a bit overwhelming.”
Dylan nods. “I believe that. I’m surprised the prince isn’t out here escorting you around the gardens himself.”
I shrug. “He’s very busy.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. You shouldn’t have to find your way alone here.”
The double meaning of his words is clear, and while a part of me wants to stand up for Kian’s absence, I can’t deny that said absence doesn’t look good for the “madly in love” story we told his father.
Will people think he’s already grown tired of me and moved on to someone new?
That he’s found some mistress to spend his time with?
While I know that isn’t the case, or at least I really want to believe that isn’t the case, a persistent feeling of doubt crowds in.
We agreed to have our separate dalliances; it isn’t fair to expect him to stay alone as long as I.
Perhaps this Dylan could become a new friend . . .
“Let’s walk, Lord Havordshire,” I say. “We can keep a respectable distance so no one talks.”
Seeming surprised, he laughs and motions toward the path. “I’m happy to accompany you, princess.”
“Please, call me Raelyn.”
“Only if you call me Dylan.”
I nod, and we walk side-by-side. “So where are you coming from, Dylan?”
“I just got back from Sillamae,” he says smoothly. “My father is the trade minister, and we have been trying to find some alternate suppliers.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes.” He frowns. “The vigilante has been wreaking havoc on our supply chain, and the king is demanding we find a way to make up the difference.”
“You don’t sound so fond of the Shadow,” I posit.
“You could say that.” He smiles, but it’s strained. “My father has put an immense amount of pressure on me with these new deals, as he is no longer able to travel and hopes that I will take over his position in the kingdom.”
“That does sound stressful. Do you also help supply the people in our towns and villages?”
He rubs his chin. “In a manner of speaking, I suppose. The king is the one who doles out any leftover rations. But for the most part, the people need to fend for themselves.”
I try not to bristle. I’ve come to respect what the vigilante—the prince—does. Perhaps this Dylan is not the best acquaintance to make.
“Raelyn.” A deep, moody voice surprises me from behind. I spin around and come face-to-face with my husband—my very sweaty and angry-looking husband.
“Kian,” I say almost breathlessly, taking him in. He must have been out for a run, because there’s a fine sheen of sweat on him, making him almost glisten in the sunlight.
“Your Highness.” Dylan nods. “How nice to see you.”
“What are you doing out here, alone, with my wife?” Kian growls.
Dylan backs up a step, his hands raised in surrender. “We were just talking. She was all alone, and I was merely keeping an eye on her for you.”
“I’m sure you were,” Kian retorts, his eyes shooting daggers at Dylan.
“Well, you’re here now, Kian,” I say, trying to break up the tension. Did something happen between the two of them? I’ve never seen him act this way. Moving toward him, I lay a hand on Kian’s arm, hoping he will let it go and walk away with me. “It was lovely meeting you, Dylan.”
“Dylan,” Kian repeats, almost sarcastically.
“Lovely spending time with you, Raelyn,” Dylan replies and gives me a slight bow before turning on his heel and making a quick exit.
Kian’s arm is as stiff as a board, his muscles tense beneath my fingers. “On a first-name basis already?” he grits out.
I gently squeeze his arm. “Relax, Kian. We were just walking together. Nothing inappropriate happened, I promise.”
Not that he should care if it did.
Kian turns his glare on me, and I step back at the fury in his gaze.
“What?” I demand. “I can’t make friends here?”
“He has no interest in being your friend, I can assure you of that.”
I let go of him and cross my arms. If Kian’s itching for a fight, I’m happy to deliver.
I’m angry with him too. “What else am I supposed to do?” I bite out in a harsh whisper.
“You’ve been avoiding me for days now, not to mention lying to me, and you made it clear from the start that I’d need to find someone else to fulfill my needs. ”
Kian’s nostrils flare, and he lowers his face toward mine. “What needs of yours haven’t been met?” The dare in his tone sends a flutter of butterflies through my stomach. He takes a step toward me, and I find myself oh-so-slowly backing away, but he matches me step for step.
When rough, cool stone hits my back, I stop, but Kian cages me in with his arms, his hands on either side of my head.
“You’re fed. Clothed. You have more fabric and thread than you could use in a lifetime, plenty of books, and—”
“What about companionship, Kian?” I interrupt. “What if I find myself lonely?”
He blinks, as if not expecting that response. “But you said you were always alone . . . Don’t you prefer it that way?”
I swallow, my eyes not leaving his. “What if that’s not enough for me now?”
Kian looks away, but his hands still cage me in, his proximity sending flutters through me despite my anger. He struggles for words, and the muscles in his forearms clench before he pushes away, turning his head back to face me.
“If companionship is what you need, I’ll find a way to be okay with that. Just not out here. Not where people can see. And for the love of the gods, anyone but him.”
Is he . . . jealous? Or is he just worried about his father finding out our love is a ruse?
“You idiot,” I mutter.
He glares at me. “What, Raelyn? Is that not what you want?”
“No!” I spit out. Because despite everything, despite his secrets, something inside me is drawn to this man in front of me, and I don’t want to lose him.
He moves in closer again, and my pulse picks up speed. “Tell me, love, what is it you want then?”
“I want you.”
Kian’s eyes widen in shock before they darken a shade or two and he pulls me into his arms, his mouth laying claim to mine.
I’m in shock; I almost don’t respond. But then I come to my senses, and my hands fly up around his neck, pulling him closer, my mouth opening for his needy tongue as he aims to devour me.
I’m soaring—weeks of pent-up emotion and desire overwhelming my senses.
Every fear, every doubt I have floats away on the wind.
This moment is everything. I let out a moan as he kisses me into the wall and grinds himself against me.
Hells, there are too many layers between us.
His knee goes between my legs, and I shamelessly try to find friction.
Firm hands squeeze my waist, and I’m aching, aching for him to touch me.
He kisses my jaw and moves down my neck, leaving a trail of fire in his wake.
I wantonly moan as he squeezes a breast in his powerful hand before sliding it back down to my waist.
“Whose hands will you allow to touch you?” he breathes.
“Yours . . . only yours.”
“That’s right,” he whispers, causing molten heat to pool in my center.
He grips my chin, tilting it up so that our lips are only a breath apart. His other hand slides down my stomach, temptingly close to where I really want him, but then he hooks his hand around my thigh, pulling me even nearer.
A shudder goes through me, and everything is too tight. My breasts brush up against his chest with each inhale as he corners me closer to the wall. His grip around me tightens, and I can’t stop the moan that comes from my lips as he thrusts his hips against me.
“Do you like that, love?” He dips his head and moves his lips to my ear. “Imagine the sounds I could wring from you if there were nothing between us.”
I whimper. “Show me.”
His teeth close around my ear, and tingles shoot through my entire body. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” His voice rumbles through me, and all I can think is how I want him to take and claim me. Ruin me.
I’m just about to climb him like a tree when someone loudly clears their throat, and I gasp, my eyes darting past Kian to the king standing on the path. The look in his eyes is a cross between disgust and lust, and I’m practically doused by a flood of icy water.