Chapter 33
Chapter thirty-three
Ruth
Katy and Jay joined Amie, Cam, and Paloma at my place for fancy nugs a few days after Katy and I made up.
A couple of nights after that, we all went out for our regular girls’ night—with Cam and Jay gatecrashing the party.
And then we all went out for food together last night, so it’s not like we haven’t talked since clearing the air after our fight.
But we’re overdue a good catch up, so I show up at Katy’s house exactly on time, only for the front door to swing open before I have a chance to knock. Jay’s hand drops from the door to Katy’s hair, slipping down to her neck as he captures her mouth in a kiss.
My brother is lighter and happier than I’ve ever seen him in all of my thirty-two years, and a devastating pang of sadness settles in my belly.
I missed out on this—on his happiness. I vilified him for it.
I hurt two of the people I love most in the whole world, and I missed out on their joy because I can’t keep my own life from falling apart.
Because the career I wanted is turning into something I hate, and the man I love is thousands of miles away.
Because it hurts, and it feels like I’m losing my grip on just about everything.
Right this minute, my brother has one hand on Katy’s hip and the other wrapped around the side of her throat, cupping her jaw as he kisses her.
It’s a moment that feels entirely too intimate to intrude upon, as they pull apart and he whispers something that has her blushing and laughing as their foreheads rest together.
It’s almost like they’ve forgotten I’m stood here, just outside Katy’s front door, ready for a morning with my best friend.
I’ve missed her so much—more than I ever imagined.
Amie hit the nail on the head when she said Katy was the other half of her soul a few weeks ago.
Everett is my love, and my heart, but Katy—and Amie and Paloma, too—they’re just as much my soulmates as he is.
I clear my throat softly to remind them I’m stood here.
“Jay, I’m okay with you banging my best friend but can you please keep your tongue out of her mouth until you’re alone?”
My brother offers me a one-fingered salute, locking lips with my best friend on her doorstep one more time before turning and leaving the house. Katy stands just inside the still-open door, swaying slightly, and she presses her fingertips to the goofy smile on her lips.
“Jesus, you really are in deep for him,” I comment wryly. Her face snaps to mine, eyes no longer soft and happy but anxious.
“I love him, Roo,” she says quietly as she closes the door with a soft click. “I know you don’t understand it, but it—it just happened between us. I love him.”
“I know,” I say softly. “I see it, Katy. He loves you, too. I just want you both to be happy.”
“He makes me happy,” she says with a sniff, blinking hard against tears. I lurch forward and pull her into a hug.
“Good. Because mark my words, if he ever stops, I will kill him.”
“If he ever stops, I’d let you.”
I snort, clapping a hand over my mouth, and head for the kitchen, with Katy trailing behind me.
“Coffee? Or wine?”
“It’s not even lunch time, Sweet Thing.”
“We’ve got a lot to catch up on,” she says, pulling mugs from a cupboard and sliding them beneath her coffee machine.
With the touch of a button, the machine comes to life, spluttering and bubbling noisily before the rich aroma of hot coffee fills the small space.
I grab a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc from the fridge and two of Katy’s stemless glasses from an open shelf.
I drove past Katy’s house last night on my way to pick up Paloma, before we met Katy, Jay, Amie, and Cam for dinner, and her front gate was overshadowed by a large, imposing For Sale sign.
Last night, I could fool myself that it was outside someone else’s house, but the way the flag loomed above my head as I crossed the threshold from street to front path felt far too much like the end of an era.
It somehow feels all the more real to have walked past it in close proximity.
“So, tell me more about selling up,” I demand. We’ve barely settled in Katy’s living room. She’s opened the window, letting the warm summer air filter into the room and the sound of traffic mingles with our voices.
“Well…” Katy runs a finger around the rim of her coffee mug. “With Pup—I mean, Jay’s studio is too small for a dog. And this place… I mean, I love it. I bought this house and I did it up and I love it. But I bought it when it was just me, and now it’s not just me anymore, and—”
“So you are looking for somewhere together?”
“I think so,” Katy whispers. “I mean, we’re not—we haven’t—we haven’t made any decisions. We haven’t even looked at anything. I meant it when I said we wanted to get an idea of the market first. Maybe we’ll end up staying here for a while, who knows.”
She looks at me with fear in her eyes, like at any moment I might snap and ruin everything we’ve just tentatively repaired. I reach across the sofa and pull her hand towards me, gripping it as hard as I dare.
“I mean it too, K. I want you to be happy. And if my dumb brother makes you happy, then I’m okay with it.” Katy smiles at me, sniffling and swiping at the tears filling her eyes. “And anyway, I wanna hear more about the dog.”
“No way, missy,” Katy laughs, still wiping her eyes. “You just went back to Austin. Don’t think you’re getting out of telling me everything.”
“I can’t wait for you to meet him, K,” I say.
The words come out in a whisper, a torrent of emotion stealing my voice and my breath as I think back to my most recent visit.
I only stayed for a little over two days, but it was worth every second of those two ten-hour flights, and the resulting jet lag. “I lov… I love him.”
Katy’s eyes shine brightly. She shuffles along her sofa until she’s right beside me, and she pulls me into another long hug.
“I’m so happy you’ve found someone, Roo,” she says into my hair. “He seems like he’s really good for you. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“Can I ask you something? Like, personal?” I say once we’ve pulled apart.
“Of course, Roo. You know you can always ask me anything.”
“Have you ever—wait. No. I really don’t think I want to have this conversation,” I decide, changing my mind mid-sentence. “As much as I’m okay with you and Jay, I don’t think—this isn’t something I want to know.”
“Roo?” Katy places a hand on my knee, subtly distracting me from my rambling. “What is it?”
“Butt stuff. Have you ever…?”
Katy snorts with laughter before clapping a hand over her mouth. Her cheeks flush the same pink as her socks.
“Yes,” she says slowly, after taking a moment to compose herself. “I… have. Is it something you’re considering?”
“It’s something I—we—did. Last week. I mean… we did.”
“Okay. And… did you enjoy it? How do you feel about it now?”
“Katy, are you going to answer everything with ‘and how does that make you feel?’ now, because if you do…”
“Ha ha,” she says. “For real, Roo. It’s different. Kinda. Like, regular sex is one thing, but…”
“Butt.”
“You’re such a dick.” She leans in and nudges me with her shoulder.
“You love dick.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I think I’m okay with it. I mean—the butt thing, not the you loving dick. Although that’s fine too. I mean… oh, for fuck’s sake.”
“Take a breath, love.” She’s fucking smirking.
“It was… fine. I guess. I mean, I enjoyed it. Maybe not as much as the regular kind, but it was… anyway. Can we talk about something else?”
“If you want.”
“You’re getting a dog.”
Katy practically buzzes with excitement. A grin spreads across her face and her leg jiggles in place as she bounces in her seat.
“Technically, Jay is getting a dog. And he’s not a pet, he’s a service animal. But… yeah, we’re getting a puppy.” She pushes a fist against her lips and I swear a small squeal comes out. “A puppy, Roo!”
“Show me the picture again?”
Katy unlocks her phone, scrolling for a minute and blushing furiously—about what, I don’t want to know—before the grin returns.
She hands over the device with a picture on the screen.
A yellow lab grins up at the camera, tongue hanging from his mouth.
He’s wearing a red harness, and a tennis ball is on the grass between his front paws.
I’ve never really been much of an animal person before—I mean, they’re cute and all, but I’ve never really wanted much involvement with them—but this dog is really cute.
And if he can help my brother? Well, then I’ll be the first in line to treat him like a king.
“He’s pretty cute,” I say, handing the phone back. “Looks like he’ll keep you on your toes with those puppy eyes.”
“I know,” Katy says with a giggle. “I’m obsessed already. I’ve already bought him far too many toys.”
“Can he have toys? He’s a working dog, right?”
“Yeah, he is, but… Roo, he’s still just a puppy. He’s our puppy. You’re a lawyer, but you’re still allowed to do not-lawyer things.”
“So… I could get him a dumb cowboy hat next time I’m in Texas?
” A slow smile spreads across my face as I remember the airport gift shop I wandered around to kill some time before my flight home.
It was full of cowboy- and Texas-themed bandanas, cactus-shaped chew toys, and hilarious little hats for pets.
“I’ll disown you if you don’t.”
“Maybe we’ll find one in Phoenix! Wait—what are you doing with the puppy when we’re in Phoenix? You’re still coming, right? Both of you?”
“Pup’s coming too. He’s a service dog. He goes where Jay goes.”
“What, like… just… put him on a plane? Like, does he go in the hold?”
“Well, he’ll be with us, but yes. Amie says even though pets aren’t allowed on Albia, service animals are. We have all the paperwork he needs, puppy passport—”