Chapter 41 #2
Jay snorts, and Katy elbows him in the ribs. He whispers something in her ear and she flushes pink.
“I know you think I'm crazy. I should’ve waited. It was your moment, Amie, and I’m sorry.
I should’ve waited, at least until daylight.
I should’ve woken you all up and made you come with me.
But, you know what? I still would’ve done it, if I’d waited.
I’d still marry him. And I’d do it again, and again.
Whether it’s now, or next week, or in a year.
Because you found your guy, Amie, and you two—” I wave at Jay and Katy.
“You found each other. And Lo—you’ll find your person too.
If you want to. But—Ev is mine. He’s my guy.
I know you don’t understand, and I know you think I’m insane, marrying him after four months, but I love him.
I’m in love with him. I’m drop-down fucking crazy about him, actually.
And if you have anything negative to say about him, you can kiss my arse. I don’t want to hear it.”
Amie looks down at her hands, tangled with Lo’s. I swing my gaze round to Katy, who has tears running down her cheeks, while my brother looks suitably chastised. Katy is the first to move, standing and crossing the room with her arms open.
“I love you, Roo,” she whispers into my ear. “If you love him, then I love him too. That’s enough for me.”
Amie and Paloma join our hug too, until Jay is the only one left sitting.
I look over at him, a solid lump in my throat.
I implied earlier that I didn’t need his approval or support, but it was a lie.
Jay has always been my best friend, long before Amie and Katy and Paloma came into my life, and his approval is the most important of anyone’s.
Eventually, he concedes, standing and crossing the room to us.
We lock eyes over Katy’s shoulder, and I break free from my friends’ embrace before launching myself into my brother’s arms. He smells like blue cypress and sunscreen, like my childhood summers.
The smell of comfort, of being loved unconditionally.
“If he hurts you, Rooey…”
“He won’t,” I promise. “But I’ll let him know what to expect, nonetheless.”
He kisses my hair before releasing me. Maisy crashes into the room with a shriek, stumbling into Amie’s legs as she waves Roger high above her head.
“Mais—” Cam follows her, winded.
“It’s okay,” Amie smiles through tears, sweeping her daughter into her arms. “We’re all okay.”
“Katy?” I step onto the porch hesitantly. Katy and Paloma are cradling glasses of wine, and Amie is draining the near-empty bottle into her own glass.
“What’s up, Roo?”
“Can I—I mean—can we—”
“Should we leave?” Amie moves to stand, grabbing Paloma’s hand as much for stability as anything else.
But I make a split second decision and gesture with the hand not holding a light blanket.
I cross the wooden deck and take an empty seat opposite Katy, pulling my feet up beneath me and tucking the blanket around my legs.
We might be in the desert in the middle of summer, where the days are hotter than Satan’s ballsack, but it’s a lot colder at night than I expected it to be.
“Katy, I’m sorry.”
She leans forward in her chair to rest a gentle hand on my leg.
“Why? I mean, Jay is still pretty pissed about the whole eloping business, and I’m mad that I didn’t get to buy a cute dress, so you damn well better be sorry, but—why?”
I swallow around the lump forming in my throat. My nose is stinging and my eyes are burning, and I’ve already forgotten the speech I rehearsed on my way out here. Some fucking lawyer I’ve turned out to be.
“I haven’t been fair to you,” I whisper. “Or to Jay. But mostly to you.”
“It’s okay, Roo.” She squeezes my leg lightly. “It’s okay. We’ve already talked about it, and it’s okay. We’re okay.”
“No it’s not.” I shake my head. “It’s not okay.
It’s not okay, because my stupid insecurities hurt two of the people I love more than anything in this whole entire stupid fucking world, and that’s not fair.
It’s not okay. I love you, K, and I love that you love my brother.
I’m sorry I haven’t said that before. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you shouldn’t love him. ”
Katy stands from her chair and joins me in mine, squeezing in beside me and wrapping me in a tight hug. Her orange perfume envelopes me. It’s like Taylor’s cardigan song. Like finding an old sweater under the bed and putting it on, all warm and comforting.
“Thank you, Roo,” she whispers into my hair. “I love you so much.”
Amie crashes past the table with a whoops, and flings herself into our hug. Paloma follows, wrapping her long, inked arms around all three of us.
“I love you both,” Amie says a little too loudly. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s drunk the lion’s share of the wine this evening. “I can’t wait for you two to be sisters for real.”
“Slow your roll, love,” Katy chuckles. “I don’t think we’re quite there yet. Unlike this one.” She grabs my hand to inspect the ring on my finger. I’ve been wearing the neon pink band since Everett put it there, enjoying the way it clashes wildly with my wine-red nails.
“He gonna get you a diamond, or are you rolling with this?”
“I like this, but he insists.”
“Diamonds are nice, though,” Katy grins with a cocked eyebrow.
“I like diamonds,” Amie says with a tipsy giggle, left hand held out in front of her face. Between the diamond on her hand and the moonlight dancing on the pool’s surface, she’s mesmerised. It took a long time for her to finally work things out with Cam. She deserves her happily ever after.
We all do.