CHAPTER TEN
Back home, Ada cornered me in the kitchen, wanting to talk about what I wanted for my birthday, and of course the party.
I sighed. ‘Look, I’ve had a really bad day. Can we talk about all this some other time, please?’
‘Well, it’s just that I’ve no idea what to buy you. Do you want jewellery? Or something more practical for the garden?’
‘I don’t mind. Anything.’
‘I also need to firm up on arrangements with the hotel and you haven’t even told me what kind of food you’d like.’
‘How about you surprise me?’ I attempted a smile as I backed away.
‘But what about guests? I need a number. Catering needs a number.’
‘I don’t know. I’ll think about it.’
She whipped a notebook out of her bag. ‘Can’t you sit down now and make a list? It won’t take long. I’ll make some tea. Have a flapjack.’
She opened the tin of sweet treats that Trevor had brought over for me on Wednesday and held it out. I stared at it as a whole range of conflicting emotions started coursing through me, like water surging through a broken dam. Bitterness, anger and humiliation were swirling around inside me... along with an aching sadness, thinking about how happy I’d been with Trevor, but how stupidly na?ve as well...
I shook my head and Ada closed the tin with an impatient sigh and plonked it back on the table. ‘Are you ever going to forgive me?’ she muttered.
‘Well, I’m not sure,’ I snapped tearfully. She hadn’t even bothered to ask me why my day had been so bad. ‘Do you deserve forgiveness after lying about Antonio?’
‘Everyone deserves forgiveness.’ Her expression was cold but her eyes sparkled with tears.
‘Okay. Well, here’s a question for you! Are you going to be inviting my dad to my twenty-fifth birthday party? Because I’d really like that. In fact, forget about presents. That’s what I really want for my birthday... to finally find out who my dad is and to be given the chance to get to know him at last!’
‘I’ve already told you. I don’t know,’ she whispered, on the verge of tears herself.
‘Yes, well, I’m not sure I believe you.’ My throat felt choked. ‘It seems a bit too convenient that you should lie about Antonio for years and then suddenly switch to my dad actually being a one-night stand.’
‘Well, you can think what you like. But it’s true.’
‘Is it, though, Ada? Is it really?’
Tears flooding down my face, I left the kitchen, slamming the door behind me and racing up the stairs to my room. Then I lay on my bed, curled in a ball, and wept softly into the pillow, keeping my sobs in check because the last thing I needed was Ada to hear me and come upstairs to check that I was okay.
I’d never felt stifled before, living here with Ada. We’d existed in the same house quite happily all my life. But right now, the thought of leaving and having a place of my own was filling me with the sort of desperate longing that couldn’t be ignored. For the sake of my relationship with Ada, I needed to be away from here...
My phone rang and it was Skye.
I thought about not answering, but I needed to talk to someone about what the hell I was going to do, and Billy was clearly out of bounds now he was with Jenna. So I sat up and blew my nose noisily. ‘Skye? Hi, there. No, I’m fine. Really, I am.’
*****
It was the following day and Ada was lingering mournfully in the hall as I wrestled a case, a holdall and my handbag down the stairs.
‘It’s just for a few days,’ I promised her, feeling guilty in spite of everything. ‘Just to give us some space, okay? Because I think we both need it.’
‘Speak for yourself.’ She folded her arms obstinately. But she followed me out to the car, and after I’d stowed my bags in the boot, she said shortly, ‘I’ll really miss you.’
This was so unlike Ada, I felt a twinge of emotion. Impulsively, I reached out and drew her into a hug.
‘How can I change your mind?’ she pleaded, pulling away and staring into my eyes. ‘I promise I won’t even mention the party.’
But I shook my head. ‘It’s not just that. It’s everything. You know?’ I’d told her about my relationship with Trevor being over, although I hadn’t had the strength to go into explanations. ‘It’s better this way. For now. I’ll stay with Skye and Saul for a while and then we’ll see.’
‘But Saul’s just got a tiny flat. You’ll feel like a gooseberry.’
‘He’s away visiting relatives in Wales. And anyway, it’s not that small. There’s a little box room with space for a single bed.’
She sighed and shook her head. ‘I’m not sure you and Skye living in such close proximity is a great idea, though.’
‘It’ll be fine.’
‘But you hate how she’s always on at you to be more proactive... do more with your life. You’ll clash, you know you will.’
‘Ada, I’m a big girl. I think I’ll cope. And you know what? Maybe I need a big kick up the bum to get the gardening business up and running. Because I’ve been dragging my heels about it for too long now.’
Ada stepped back, her shoulders slumped. ‘All right. Well, give my love to Skye.’
I smiled at her. ‘I will. And I’ll be back before you know it. It’s not forever.’
She nodded, but I felt terrible as I drove away. It wasn’t like Ada to wear her heart on her sleeve like that. She was practically begging me not to go.
I glanced back at her in the rear-view mirror.
She was still standing there, arms folded tightly across her stomach, staring miserably after me...