CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
I woke slowly, as if I was still dreaming, swimming gradually to the surface. My head hurt a lot.
A rhythmic electronic beep close by was drilling into the pain.
Where was I?
‘Nurse? Nurse! She’s awake.’
The sound of Skye’s voice brought everything into focus. I was in bed. On a hospital ward? It smelt clinical, of soap and strangely, of oranges.
‘Oh, thank God.’ Skye was back at my bedside, leaning over me on one side, while a nurse smiled and said, ‘Hello, Blossom,’ on the other side. She took my arm gently, checking my pulse. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘What happened?’ I managed to mutter. ‘My head... it really hurts.’ I reached up and felt the bandage on my forehead.
‘You were in a car accident. Your head took quite a bump and you’ve been out for the count since yesterday.’
‘Since yesterday?’ Confused, I tried to sit up but the pain in my head was a hundred times worse, so I sank back again, feeling dizzy and sick.
‘It’s okay,’ said Skye. ‘You’re okay. You just need to rest now.’
But I was struggling to recall what had happened. ‘Where was the car accident? Was I driving?’ I stared at Skye as a horrible thought occurred to me. ‘Was it my fault? Was anyone else hurt?’
‘No, no. Don’t worry about that.’ Skye took my hand and held it between both of hers. ‘No one else was hurt.’
‘But why can’t I remember anything?’ I frowned at the nurse, feeling panicky inside.
‘It’s quite normal after a head injury,’ she said calmly. ‘It might take a while for your memory to return fully. But rest will help.’ She patted my hand. ‘Now, I’ll leave you with your mum while I go and get the doctor, okay?’
‘My mum?’ I looked around but couldn’t see Ada anywhere. Then I saw Skye’s awkward expression and I realised.
I swallowed hard, a bitter taste in my mouth.
Skye.
My mum.
It was typical that I could remember that, but absolutely nothing of what happened yesterday!
I looked at Skye. ‘Where did the accident happen? I need to know. And how did you know I’d been hurt?’
‘You were on your way back from the cabin, on the phone with Billy, and he heard the crash happen,’ she said gently. ‘Your phone went dead so he immediately called the emergency services. It seems you’d somehow crashed into the back of the car in front at some traffic lights?’ She looked at me as if somehow this would jog my memory, but I could only shrug and shake my head.
She sighed. ‘Anyway, you were unconscious but the driver of the other car stayed with you until the ambulance and the police arrived. Billy called us immediately and we all came straight in. He rushed to the hospital himself, but he obviously wasn’t allowed in while they were treating you. He sat outside for hours until he knew you were going to be okay and we sent him home, because only family were being allowed in to see you.’ She ran her hands through her hair, which looked wild, and I noticed how exhausted she looked. ‘They did an MRI scan and thankfully found no sign of bleeding on the brain, then Ada, Rori and I sat with you till late, willing you to wake up. The nurse tried to persuade us to go home and get some rest. She said your stats were steady and that they’d obviously phone if there was any change. So eventually Rori and Ada went home. But they’re coming back first thing.’
I nodded. ‘I remember being at the cabin and Billy coming to see me. But even that’s a bit vague.’
‘It’ll all come back. Like Cathy said, it’ll just take some time.’
‘Cathy?’
‘The nurse who was speaking to you just then?’ She smiled. ‘She’s got three kids, all under five, and she says coming to work feels like a break to her, leaving hubby in charge. Julia and Maura are lovely as well. You’ll meet them when they come on shift later.’ She stifled a yawn. Had she stayed all night by my bedside?
‘You should go home and get some sleep yourself,’ I said shortly. ‘I’m fine.’
‘No, I’ll stay,’ she said at once.
‘But really, I’m okay. I just need to rest.’ And the last thing I want is you sitting there, stressing me out by fussing over me and pretending you care...
Her face fell. ‘Look, I know you probably don’t want me here. We’ve got a lot to talk about. Of course we have. But right now, you need to get better. How about I just sit here and read my book and leave you to sleep? You can pretend I’m not here if you like.’
‘Whatever,’ I said coldly, and I turned on my side, facing away from her, and closed my eyes.
I must have drifted off because when I woke, the doctor was there and Skye was nowhere to be seen. I felt a strange mix of relief and annoyance at her absence. She’d said she would stay and read her book, but she obviously hadn’t. She’d let me down all over again!
The doctor seemed pleased with me. ‘A few days’ rest while we keep an eye on you, and you should be good to go home.’
After he’d gone, moving on to a patient on the same ward – who, every time I looked across, seemed to be peeling another orange – the nurse called Cathy came over and plumped my pillows for me so I could sit up. I did so very gingerly because my head was still pounding, but this time, the pain seemed to recede a little when I was upright.
‘Your mum’s just gone to get herself a black coffee. Bless her, she’s been here the entire night and I don’t think she’s closed her eyes once. Mums, eh?’ She smiled fondly. ‘Wish mine was still here. I’d tell her all the things I never did, like how much I loved her.’
‘I’m sure she knew anyway,’ I said softly, an ache in my throat.
‘I’m sure she did,’ agreed Cathy with a smile. ‘Right, my love. Get some rest now.’
Skye returned a minute later. Back like a bad penny! That was one of Ada’s frequent sayings.
She sat down, placing her coffee on the bedside cabinet and searching in her handbag for a hanky to wipe a little spillage there.
Something fell out of her bag onto the floor.
‘What’s that?’ I asked, curious because I’d never seen it before. Was it a toy dog? A poodle? As a rule, Skye kept posh make-up and expensive perfumes in her bag, not scruffy old soft toys with one eye missing!
‘This?’ She picked it up and smiled at the little stuffed toy through tear-filled eyes. ‘This is Lammy Lamb. He was yours when you were a tiny baby. I took him with me when I went to boarding school because it had your baby smell. That was the worst day of my life, leaving you behind. All I could do was cling to the thought that you’d be safe and loved with Ada and Rori.’ A single tear trickled down her cheek. She brushed it away and attempted a smile. ‘Lammy Lamb and I have been together ever since. In all these years, he’s never left my side. He even sleeps under my pillow at night.’ She laughed. ‘That probably sounds a bit creepy to you.’
I gave a half-shrug, not really sure how I should feel about this quite startling confession.
It wasn’t like Skye to show her emotions like this. She normally liked to be cool and composed at all times. My accident must have really shaken her up...
‘So why did you?’ I demanded.
‘Why did I what?’
‘Leave me behind?’
She sighed. ‘I didn’t want to and now I wish more than anything that I’d stuck to my guns and defied Ada. But at the time... I was sixteen and Ada was determined it was the right thing to do. It’s been... horrible... having to keep the secret. But I’ve always known that when the truth was revealed, we had to be agreed on it and do it together. I’m just glad it’s out there now and you know.’ She sighed. ‘I realise you hate me for what I did. But you have to believe me when I say I loved you deeply, the instant I set eyes on you in the hospital, and I’ve done everything I could since then to make up for the fact that I couldn’t be with you.’
She looked broken and in spite of everything, I felt my heart soften a little.
I sighed, worried I might start crying. ‘Look, can you just go and then we can both get some sleep? You look absolutely awful.’
She grinned. ‘Yep. I know. I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror just there and I look about ninety-five.’
‘Well, not quite that old. Eighty-five?’ I gave her a watery smile.
She laughed rather too heartily. ‘You cheeky bugger.’
‘You can come back later if you like,’ I said grudgingly.
‘Gee, thanks. I will.’ She picked up her bag and popped Lammy Lamb back inside. Then she looked at me and held him up. ‘Shall I leave him here with you?’
I snorted. ‘I’m not five! No, I think you need him more than me.’
She nodded ruefully. ‘I think you might be right.’ She leaned forward as if she was about to embrace me, then she changed her mind and stepped back with a stiff little smile. ‘I’ll see you later, then.’
‘Okay.’
I watched her go, wondering if I’d ever get used to the fact that she was my mum and not my big sister. I’d wanted to ask her who my father was, but I hadn’t been able to summon up the strength for yet another emotional conversation.
Thinking about who my other parent could be – a boy in her class at school, maybe? – there was something nudging at the back of my mind from yesterday, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was. I only hoped Skye would tell me who he was, because I was fed up being kept in the dark...