Chapter 11 #2
Turning her head away with something like panic bubbling within, Bella saw that the happy couple were walking hand in hand, close to the waves.
Their heads were bent so close together they seemed to be touching and the photographer was behind them, capturing the tender moment that had the dramatic backdrop of Lion Rock.
A very real moment.
And here she was, living a lie. She’d been so determined to stay inside that fantasy bubble for as long as she could, and Kate had been right.
The longer she was leaving it, the harder it was getting.
She’d made it so much worse by allowing herself that extra time with Oliver.
Lying to him yet again, albeit by omission.
The kind of lie that had always seemed to be far less of a sin. Until now.
Bella hated herself right then. She deserved whatever was coming and it was coming soon, she could tell. Good grief, she felt like she might explode at any moment.
And Oliver was simply smiling at her.
‘You look gorgeous,’ he said.
‘Thank you.’ Her throat was so tight it was hard to get any words out.
‘You’re about to lose this, though.’ He reached out and his hand touched her hair.
Bella had a hairstyle that matched Kate’s, with a twisted section to hold the loose length in place.
Tiny blue flowers had been wound into her hair to match her dress, but one of them must have worked loose. And Oliver was fixing it?
Oh… God…
Bella could feel the touch of his hand. She could feel the warmth of it and it was all she could do not to tilt her face so that it was cupped by his palm.
And he was leaning closer so that he could see what he was doing.
So close that Bella could feel his breath on her face.
She could feel the intensity of his gaze even before she raised her eyes to meet it.
‘You’re beautiful, Bella,’ Oliver said softly. ‘I want to kiss you.’
Bella’s mouth went as dry as the sand further up the beach. ‘No, you don’t.’ Desperation made her words come out with a faint hiss.
Oliver’s eyes widened as if she’d slapped him, but he didn’t move away. If anything, he dipped his head slightly. His mouth was so close… close enough to kiss, heaven help her.
‘Your m-mother’s here,’ she stammered. ‘And half the consultants from St Pat’s. It’s not… not appropriate, remember?’
‘I don’t think I care,’ Oliver murmured. ‘I still want to kiss you.’
Good grief… this wasn’t a part of any fantasy Bella had been able to conjure up about them both being dressed up and at a wedding. It could have been, except that it was far too much to have hoped for, even when she was trying to make herself irresistibly attractive.
She couldn’t let it happen. How embarrassed would Oliver be if he made his interest in her public – in front of so many of his colleagues? Things were hard enough now. Too hard, in fact. Bella couldn’t live with the lie any longer.
‘I’m inappropriate,’ she said, with increasing desperation. ‘Irresponsible.’
‘Not from where I’m standing,’ Oliver said. ‘In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone being quite so responsible about their job as I’ve seen you being in the last few weeks. My mother thinks you’re an angel. She adores you.’
‘She doesn’t know how irresponsible I am.’ Bella could actually feel the blood draining from a part of her brain. Leaving it very empty and clear. She knew what she had to do. ‘I lied to you, Oliver.’
‘Sorry?’ He did step back now and the look he was giving her was bewildered. ‘What on earth are you talking about, Bella?’
‘I lied to you about being on the Pill.’
She could see the way Oliver became very still.
‘Well, I didn’t lie exactly… but I didn’t correct you when you made the wrong assumption and I should have.’
Bella knew she was babbling but the way he seemed to draw into himself until he was standing there like a stone statue was so horrible. The warmth had gone from his eyes completely. No admiration or desire there now. The look Bella was getting was cold. Fierce, almost.
‘What are you trying to tell me, Bella?’
It was now or never. Her voice came out as a strangled kind of whisper.
‘I’m pregnant, Oliver.’
He still looked fierce but she could see that the news hadn’t sunk in. He didn’t understand the implication.
‘Oliver, it’s your baby I’m pregnant with.’
‘Oh, my…’ The soft cry came from just behind Oliver and it made them both turn in the same instant. How on earth had Lady Dorothy managed to get out of that chair all by herself?
It must have been difficult. Time consuming. But somehow she had managed it. And she had timed it so that she couldn’t help but hear the fateful words despite how softly Bella had spoken.
Oh, dear Lord, what had she done? Just gone ahead without thinking of the repercussions, and this was going to ruin Kate’s special day. Bella felt a wave of nausea so powerful she had to press her hand against her mouth.
‘Oh…’ Lady Dorothy’s gasp was deeply concerned. ‘You’re so pale, dear. I think you’d better sit down.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Bella managed. ‘I didn’t mean you to hear that. I didn’t want—’
‘This is neither the time nor the place,’ Oliver cut in. He looked as pale as Bella clearly was. ‘Go and sit down, Bella. Would you like me to get you a glass of water?’
‘N-no, thank you.’
A wave of misery washed over Bella at Oliver’s tone.
The kind of tone she had heard many times before.
When she had been an unimportant junior cog in the wheel of his operating theatre.
She knew he had to be in shock but this was exactly like speaking to that intimidating neurosurgeon, not the man she’d come to know.
And love.
This was Oliver in professional mode. Taking control of a situation that was both unexpected and potentially calamitous. The man who had looked, such a short time ago, as though he wanted nothing more than to kiss her senseless seemed like a figment of her imagination.
‘I’m going to take my mother home,’ Oliver continued in that calm, expressionless voice. ‘When you’re finished here, I suggest you come and join us. Obviously, we need to talk.’
He had his hand under his mother’s elbow, turning her, but Lady Dorothy was looking torn. She bit her lip, turning her worried gaze from Bella to Oliver. And then she looked around her, at the milling guests and the bride and groom who were now walking back towards the gathering.
‘We’re not going to make a scene and spoil Kate and Connor’s wedding, Oliver,’ she said decisively. ‘In fact, I’d like a glass of champagne, please. And I think a glass of water for Bella is a very good idea.’
Oliver was looking stunned that he was being outbid for control of the situation.
‘This is a very special occasion,’ Lady Dorothy continued. ‘Not only because it’s such a lovely wedding but it’s the first time I’ve been dressed up to go out for months. The first time I’ve been to a beach for years.’
Lady Dorothy was smiling at Bella now and the message was clear.
A kind of ‘keep calm and carry on’ message.
She looked as though everything in her world was absolutely fine and she certainly hadn’t overheard any earth-shattering news.
She also looked as though she’d done this before.
As if she was employing a well-practised skill.
She patted Bella’s arm. ‘Help me back to my chair, dear, while Oliver goes and gets those drinks for us.’
The photographer was rounding up all the members of the Graham family now. Bella would need to join them for a group photograph soon.
Walking slowly and assisting Lady Dorothy, Bella watched Oliver’s back as he stalked towards the marquee. She sighed.
‘He’s very angry,’ she said quietly. ‘And I can’t blame him.’
‘He’s shaken up, that’s all,’ Lady Dorothy said calmly. ‘He needs a bit of time to get used to the idea.’
The look she gave Bella was, amazingly, almost mischievous.
It made Bella remember the things Lady Dorothy had said when she’d been trying to persuade Bella to take the position as her private nurse.
The startling admission that her son was a bit ‘stuffy’.
That it would do him good to be ‘shaken up a little’.
Surely she wasn’t relegating the fact that Bella was pregnant into the ‘shaking someone up a little’ category?
This was more than a little shake. It was a ‘turn the world upside down and rattle it as hard as you can’ kind of movement.
But Lady Dorothy settled calmly into the chair, nodding her head as though affirming her words.
‘Running away is never a good way to deal with anything, you know.’
Bella’s eyes were still widening as she regarded this extraordinary woman who was old enough to be her grandmother.
‘I thought you’d be angry, too.’
‘Angry? Good heavens, no. Surprised, yes, but I know what’s been going on, dear.’
Bella could feel herself blushing. ‘But—’
Lady Dorothy made a tutting sound. ‘I may be old but I’m not senile, Bella.
Or blind. Anyone could see the way you two have been watching each other.
Heavens above… that day I was out in the garden, Oliver couldn’t take his eyes off you when you were walking back into the house.
And you had to have one more peek before you disappeared. ’
Bella couldn’t deny it. She had felt that stare. And she’d seen him turning to his mother when she couldn’t resist looking back. What she hadn’t seen was that Lady Dorothy had been watching her.
‘I was hoping something might happen between you,’ Lady Dorothy continued. ‘But I wasn’t expecting this, I have to admit.’ The look she gave Bella was serious. ‘My son isn’t a man to shirk his responsibilities. He’ll do the right thing.’
‘Bella?’ Kate was calling her. ‘We need you for the family photos.’
With a nod, Bella went to join the group.
The right thing.
What was that?
Did Lady Dorothy mean that he would offer to marry her?
Because it was the ‘right thing’ to do or because he wanted to?
She’d never know, would she?
* * *