Chapter 4
4
CATHERINE
C atherine had enjoyed that surgery more than any in months. Working with Lexi had been seamless, and it wasn’t always like that with other surgeons. So many times, she was the one to back down, the one to hold herself back. But with Lexi—Dr. Bond—it had been different. Lexi had been encouraging and appreciative and respectful of her expertise, unlike most neurosurgeons, who believed their job was superior just because the brain was the most important organ in the body, or the cardio specialists who looked down on everyone else. Catherine knew better than anyone that abdominal trauma could finish you off just as easily as brain or heart injuries.
Afterward, in the scrub room, Lexi had patted her on the back.
“Hey, you were awesome in there,” Lexi said, her blue eyes sparkling and her smile as charming as ever. Somehow, she already felt like a friend.
Catherine had friends…well, sort of. She got along well with everyone, but she’d never really connected with the other doctors at the hospital. She always seemed to be James Spencer’s wife, hosting the dinner parties for the charming, good-looking, wealthy people in their social circle. But none of it felt real. Not really. Catherine had begun to crave something genuine, and the camaraderie she was developing with Lexi felt like she might finally have her own friend.
Toward the end of her shift, Catherine was finishing up a consult and writing her notes at the desk when Lexi appeared, dressed effortlessly cool in jeans and a casual shirt, her long arms resting on the desk as she closed the space between them.
“I just wanted to say thank you for the surgery earlier. Really, you’ve helped me feel welcome here. It was a pleasure operating with you,” Lexi said.
Something stirred deep in Catherine’s stomach that she couldn’t quite name. She met Lexi’s sparkling blue gaze and felt her heart beat faster, momentarily lost for words.
She finally said, “It was a pleasure, Doctor.”
“Please, call me Lexi,” Lexi said, her tongue flicking across her lower lip. Catherine suddenly noticed how attractive Lexi was. Not that Catherine regularly found herself thinking about attractive women, but she could see that Lexi was beautiful. She might be straight, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate beauty in whatever form it took.
“What are you doing this evening?” Lexi asked. “Would you like to go for a drink? We could celebrate our successful surgery.”
Lexi’s gaze fixed on her, and Catherine felt like a rabbit caught in the headlights, frozen on the spot. It had been a long time since anyone had invited her for a drink.
“I’d love to,” Catherine replied.
“Great!” Lexi said. “I’d better go get my stuff, and I assume you need to finish up here. Should we meet by the main entrance in ten minutes? Is that enough time?”
“Yes, of course. I’ll see you there,” Catherine said. She’d surprised herself by agreeing to go out for a drink. But she figured, where was the harm in it? It might be nice, especially compared to going home to a big empty house.
The one thing Catherine was worried about was that she had no idea what on earth she was going to wear.
Catherine managed to find an outfit in her locker—smart trousers and a blouse with sheer fabric that showed off her bra a little more than she was comfortable with, but she decided not to overthink it. James wasn’t here, so maybe it didn’t matter. Besides, Lexi was wearing jeans, so clearly this wasn’t a fancy place. She let her hair down and brushed it out over her shoulders, added a bit of mascara, and she was good to go.
Lexi drove them to the bar—in a pickup truck, of all things. Catherine couldn’t remember ever being in one before, but she figured there was a first time for everything. Somehow, it suited Lexi.
Catherine sat nervously at a table in the bar. She didn’t usually go to places like this—a quirky lounge bar with posters of musicians on the walls and a small stage where it looked like a singer was setting up. Lexi returned from the bar, carrying two drinks. Catherine’s was a Sauvignon Blanc, but she wasn’t sure what was in Lexi’s glass.
“What are you drinking?” Catherine asked curiously.
“It’s soda and lime,” Lexi responded. “I like it with fresh lime, not the processed cordial stuff.”
“No alcohol?” Catherine asked, a bit surprised.
“No, I don’t drink. I used to, but it’s not for me anymore. I like being in control, and alcohol…well, it just isn’t good for me.”
“Oh,” Catherine said. “How long have you been sober?”
“Ten years,” Lexi said proudly, flashing that beautiful smile again. Wow. I wasn ’ t expecting that, but it ’ s really impressive.
“So why are we in a bar if you don’t drink?” Catherine asked, still curious.
“Just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean I don’t love bars. I love the energy. It was tough at first when I gave up alcohol. But, I found a way to make it work and hang out at bars still. I’ve been wanting to try this one since I moved here. Plus, the singer tonight is going to do some Nina Simone covers as well as her original stuff.”
“Oh, I know Nina Simone—she sang ‘Here Comes the Sun,’ right?” Catherine asked, causing Lexi to smile widely at her.
“Yes, that’s the one,” Lexi said, suddenly serious. “I love Nina Simone. She had such deep, soulful passion in her music. It’s all about love and loss. My mom used to listen to her a lot, so I’m really looking forward to this.”
Lexi’s words were filled with genuine emotion, and Catherine thought she’d listen to more Nina Simone after tonight.
“Are you close to your mom?” Catherine asked.
“Yes, very,” Lexi said. “I adore my mom. She raised me on her own and did an incredible job. She’s given me everything. Sometimes she can be a bit suffocating, though—maybe that’s one reason I moved here. But I still speak to her every day.”
“And your dad?” Catherine asked, unsure if she was prying too much. Was this too personal a question to ask after only knowing someone for two days?
“Well, that’s an interesting story, if you really want to know,” Lexi said, her expression both challenging and inviting, as if she wanted to share, but only if Catherine truly cared. And Catherine found she did care—she really wanted to know more about this woman.
“I’d love to, if you’re comfortable sharing,” Catherine said softly.
“Well, the interesting thing is, I’ve never actually met my father. But I do know who he is—and so do you, I imagine,” Lexi said.
“Really?” Catherine’s eyes widened. “I know him?”
“My father is Dr. Benjamin Mars,” Lexi said.
“Dr. Josephine Mars’s father? The famous surgeon?”
“Yes, the very same.”
“Wow, so you’re Josephine’s sister?”
“Sort of,” Lexi said with a wry smile. “Half-sister. Same dad, different moms.”
Catherine tried to process all this new information. It was a lot.
“And does Josephine know?” Catherine asked.
“She does now,” Lexi said sharply. “I told Dr. Mars on my first day here, but before she had a chance to respond, we were pulled into that trauma emergency—the Southbridge car accident. So no, she didn’t really respond. She looked surprised, though, so I don’t think she had any idea I existed. I’m not sure if she believes me or if she thinks I’m crazy. I guess time will tell.”
“And…does your father know?”
“Oh, he’s always known,” Lexi said, her voice tinged with sadness. “He paid for everything—my education, the whole way through med school. But he never wanted to meet me. And that’s really hard. What kind of man doesn’t want to meet his own daughter, even if she was the product of an affair?”
Catherine felt a deep sadness wash over her for Lexi. She’d grown up with two loving parents and couldn’t imagine how difficult it must have been for Lexi, knowing that her father was out there but never getting to meet him.
“You knew who he was, though? I’m assuming yes, given you went into neurosurgery,” Catherine asked gently.
Lexi nodded. “Yes, I followed him—everything he did, his research papers, his biggest cases. I followed it all online. And yeah, I guess it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that’s why I chose neurosurgery. I wanted to follow in his footsteps. I thought maybe if I made him proud, he might want to meet me.”
Catherine reached across the table and placed her hand on Lexi’s. It was warm and soft beneath hers.
“I’m so sorry, Lexi. You’re an incredible woman. You don’t deserve any of that.”
For a moment, they both looked into each other’s eyes, and Catherine felt something pass between them—something important. Shivers ran through her as she touched Lexi’s hand, a sensation she hadn’t felt before.
Lexi broke the moment with a smile. “Anyway, enough about me. How about you? How’s your home life?”
“Oh, I was lucky. I don’t have anything to complain about—two loving parents, a comfortable upbringing. I wouldn’t say I’m close to them as an adult, but we get along well. They’re both healthy and alive, and I’ve been very fortunate,” Catherine said.
“And now?” Lexi asked. “Do you and your husband have any kids?”
Catherine hesitated. She didn’t want to talk about James. She resented his presence in this conversation, which she’d enjoyed until this moment.
“No.” Catherine sighed deeply. “If I’m honest, I did want kids. Maybe I still do, but it’s never been a priority for us. James’s work is so important, and while he says he wants kids, I guess…I guess I’m just not sure I want to have children with him.”
Catherine gasped, shocked that she’d said it out loud—the words she’d suspected were lurking in the back of her mind for a long time. I don ’ t want children with him.
Lexi reached across the table again, taking Catherine’s hand. Shivers ran through her body at Lexi’s touch.
“That must be really hard,” Lexi said. Her eyes were a darker blue than usual in the dim light of the bar. There was something magnetic between them, and Catherine felt herself falling under Lexi’s spell. She pulled her hand away and picked up her wineglass, the ice-cold white wine snapping her out of the haze.
“Will you stay with him? With James?” Lexi asked quietly.
“I don’t see any other path,” Catherine replied softly, looking down at the table, unable to trust herself enough to look into those magnetic blue eyes again.