Chapter 15
15
LEXI
L exi sat at the small kitchen table in her apartment, staring blankly at the half-empty cup of coffee in front of her. The steam rising from it should have been comforting, but it only made her feel more isolated, like she was trapped in a fog of her own emotions. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a peaceful moment, a time when her mind wasn’t racing with questions and doubts.
Lately, her whole life felt like it was unraveling. She deeply cared for Catherine, but the constant secrecy of their affair was eating away at her. It was like they were two strangers meeting in dark corners, unable to exist in the light of day. She was always the “other woman,” always the one hidden from the world, and it was suffocating. There were moments when she wondered if she would ever get to be more than a fleeting moment in Catherine’s life. The pain of it—the constant ache of being kept in the shadows—was wearing her down.
She had known this. She had known in the first place that letting herself get too deeply involved with Catherine was a terrible idea. But, despite everything, she hadn’t been able to resist falling in love with her.
Lexi’s mind kept drifting to the first time she’d truly felt the depth of her feelings for Catherine. It had been so unexpected, so intense, that she’d barely been able to keep herself together. She hadn’t gone into their friendship with any ulterior motive. But the chemistry was undeniable—the way Catherine’s touch lingered just a little longer than necessary, the way her eyes softened when they spoke about things that mattered. Over time, that connection had deepened into something more, something she couldn’t ignore.
And now it was destroying her. Catherine was still married. Despite saying she would leave him, she still hadn’t. The reality of it had settled in after weeks of stolen moments and secret rendezvous. Lexi didn’t want to be the other woman. She didn’t want to feel like a secret, something Catherine hid away like a shameful indulgence. Lexi didn’t mind being the person Catherine turned to when things were bad, when James was gone again or Catherine felt lonely and isolated in her marriage. What she couldn’t stand anymore was the constant reminder that she was nothing more than an escape, someone to be enjoyed in fleeting moments but never in the light of day.
She loved Catherine. But she couldn’t keep pretending that was enough.
The guilt gnawed at her, too. Every time she saw Catherine with James, wearing her well-practiced smile as she played the role of the supportive wife, Lexi felt like an intruder in their life. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She wasn’t supposed to feel like she was tearing apart someone else’s world. But she did, every single day. And it was killing her, piece by piece.
In the beginning, when their connection was still new, she’d convinced herself that Catherine was telling the truth when she said she would leave her husband. How could she not? James was a consultant surgeon, always busy with cases that took him around the world. He was charming, yes, but distant. She was deeply unhappy with him. The marriage seemed to be nothing more than an arrangement—a partnership that worked because they both allowed it to stay that way. Lexi had imagined that Catherine could see that, and then she would choose something real.
But Catherine hadn’t. She’d stayed. And as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, Lexi started to question if she ever would. It became more and more evident to her that Catherine, for all her dissatisfaction with her marriage, wasn’t willing to make the break. She wasn’t willing to risk everything for something that felt as unstable and uncertain as their secret relationship. The realization broke something inside of Lexi. She’d been patient and understanding for so long. But she was tired of waiting, tired of watching Catherine’s hesitation, tired of feeling like the other woman who would never be enough.
And then came the moment—the breaking point—when Lexi couldn’t take it anymore.
She’d tried to talk to Catherine and express how she felt, but the words never came out right. It wasn’t just about the affair; it was about her own worth, about feeling like she was worth choosing. She didn’t want to live in the shadows anymore.
One night, after Catherine left her apartment, the weight of her frustration became too much. She needed clarity. She needed to know where she stood, once and for all.
The day Lexi decided she couldn’t keep hiding anymore started like any other. She was at the hospital, her thoughts constantly drifting to Catherine, to the things they’d shared, the passion that warmed her chest every time she thought about the last time they’d been together. But today, the thoughts weren’t pleasant. They were laced with frustration, anger, and hurt. She couldn’t help it; they were boiling inside of her, and she knew she needed to act before they consumed her completely.
It wasn’t even about the affair itself—it was what the affair symbolized. The lies. The deceit. The constant strain on her own heart as she tried to find some way to make it all work while Catherine remained stuck.
Lexi had been patient and understanding, even though the situation wasn’t ideal. But she knew, deep down, that she couldn’t keep living like this. The constant waiting, the quiet desperation that gnawed at her when Catherine couldn’t—or wouldn’t—choose her, was starting to feel like too much. And as much as she loved Catherine, Lexi couldn’t keep pouring her heart into something that had no future.
She couldn’t hold back anymore.
After a long day at the hospital, Lexi didn’t go home right away. She needed to see Catherine and get some answers. Her mind raced with everything she planned to say. It had to be now. No more waiting. No more pretending.
When Catherine finally arrived in the empty break room, there was already tension in the air. Lexi could see the uncertainty in her eyes, but she didn’t waste any time.
“I can’t do this anymore, Catherine,” Lexi said, her voice quiet but firm.
Catherine froze, her eyes widening. “What do you mean?”
“You need to make a decision,” Lexi continued, feeling her heart twist. “I can’t keep living this way. Either you leave him, or this… us …ends. I can’t keep being the other woman.”
Catherine looked shocked, her eyes darting around as if searching for the right words. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out at first. Lexi knew this was the moment—this was where everything would either change for the better or fall apart.
“Lexi…I?—”
“No,” Lexi interrupted, shaking her head. “I’m not waiting anymore, Catherine. I can’t.”
The silence that followed was unbearable. Lexi’s heart beat painfully in her chest, every second dragging on, bringing her closer to the possibility of everything falling apart. She loved Catherine, but she couldn’t keep giving herself to someone who wouldn’t choose her.
“I can’t be your secret anymore,” Lexi whispered, her voice breaking. “I need you to choose me, or I need you to let me go.”
Catherine’s eyes softened, but the sadness in them only made Lexi feel more alone.
“I love you, but I just… I just don’t know if I can do it,” Catherine whispered, her voice thick with guilt.
And that was it. Lexi knew, in that moment, that everything she’d feared was true. Catherine would never leave her husband. And as much as it hurt, Lexi realized that she’d already started pulling away.
With a deep breath, she turned away, leaving Catherine standing in the silence, with nothing but the weight of the ultimatum hanging in the air.
Lexi stumbled into her apartment, the door creaking shut behind her with a chilling finality. The dim light in the kitchen seemed to mock her with its coldness, and she didn’t bother turning on the overhead lights. She needed the darkness, the quiet. She kicked off her shoes and slumped down on the couch hugging a pillow to her chest.
Catherine was gone. That chapter of her life was over, and all Lexi had to show for it was the bitter taste of regret.
She felt the tears coming and once they started, they just wouldn’t stop.
She’d thought Phoenix Ridge would be the fresh start she needed. It had been a chance to leave everything behind, build something new, and finally meet her half-sister. But instead she was alone, with nothing to show for it but broken dreams and broken promises.
Her sister still didn’t want her, and no matter how hard Lexi tried to reach out, it felt like they’d never really get to know each other. It stung more than she cared to admit. Was she that unworthy of love? Was it her fault she couldn’t fit into this small town where people seemed to have their lives so perfectly together?
And then there was Catherine—a woman who’d promised her a future, but when it came down to it, couldn’t even make the choice to leave her miserable marriage. The woman who’d kissed her like she meant it, only to turn away and leave Lexi standing in the dark. She wasn’t enough. She’d never be enough.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was supposed to have it all—love, belonging, happiness—but all she had was loneliness, rejection, and a mountain of unresolved feelings.
She wiped her eyes, but the tears kept coming anyway, spilling down her cheeks as the room blurred around her. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. The darkness felt like a weight pressing down on her chest, suffocating her with the realization that she was completely and utterly alone. She could call her mom, but she hadn’t told her about Catherine- she didn’t want to worry her.
She’d moved here for a new beginning, but all she’d found was more of the same: broken promises, unrequited love, and endless regret. The city, the people, even the apartment—it all felt foreign and wrong. Phoenix Ridge hadn’t given her anything except the aching reminder of everything she couldn’t have.
Lexi leaned her head back against the couch, her eyes closed and her breath shaky. She felt like a stranger in her own life, and every choice she’d made since stepping foot in this town felt like a mistake. All she wanted was someone to tell her she wasn’t a failure, that this was just one bad chapter, not the whole book.
But there was no one.