Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Nate did his best to enjoy the party. It was Kate’s birthday, and she was an important part of the team. He wasn’t going to bring down the vibe by letting anyone see the turmoil roiling around inside him.
After standing so close to Tamara for the photograph, it was impossible not to think about kissing her again, and for a moment, he was positive she felt the same way.
He’d seen desire in her eyes and was certain that she was close to kissing him, and he’d stood there, expectantly, wanting nothing more than for her to close that gap.
And then Kate had made her comment about them looking like a couple.
Tamara had instantly pulled back instead, and that had been that.
The party continued, everyone enjoying themselves, and Nate found himself standing in the middle of the room all by himself.
He noticed Tamara had made herself busy refilling drinks and making sure everyone had enough cake.
Being alone like that would have been difficult enough, but it was made worse by the presence of so many actual couples in the room.
With Liz and Jason, Daniel and Jenn, and Travis and Amy, it was almost possible to believe that the world was a place where things did work out, and couples did stay together.
It was certainly hard to ignore the possibility of love when everyone at Married in Malibu was so totally close and committed to one another.
Nate saw Travis and Amy kiss for no reason beyond the fact that they loved each other.
It was hard to ignore the idea that that could have been him and Tamara just a couple minutes ago.
Nate went to find a beer with the intention of keeping a bit of distance between himself and Tamara. He didn’t want to get caught being so close together again. He sought out Kate for a minute, who was standing by the window talking with Meg.
“So, Kate,” Meg said, “have you got any big plans for the year ahead?”
Kate shook her head with a smile. She had a faint glow that suggested she’d been putting away quite a bit of elderflower wine. Well, she could. It was her birthday, and Nate suspected no one else was going to drink it.
“I’m not sure,” Kate said. “I feel as though the biggest thing has already happened—getting to work at Married in Malibu with all of you and making such good friends for the first time. I love all of you.”
“We all love you too,” Meg assured her. Which was when Kate hugged her.
Then, because Nate didn’t get out of the way quickly enough, she hugged him too.
That, more than anything, confirmed to him just how much he felt for Tamara.
Kate was a beautiful, kind, clever woman.
She was his friend, and Nate was grateful for that.
But right then, he felt nothing, whereas, if she had been Tamara, he would have been struggling not to let it become far more.
Kate seemed to realize what she was doing, because she stopped and said, “Oh, sorry, Nate. I didn’t mean anything by all this. I just…” She shot a worried glance over toward Tamara that Nate wasn’t sure he understood.
“It’s fine,” Meg said, shepherding Kate away. “Right, Nate?”
“Yes,” Nate said, “it’s all fine.”
Nothing was fine right then, but Kate and Meg didn’t need to know that.
Meg led Kate over to the counter. “Come on, I think you could do with some more pastries to balance out that wine.”
“Nate and Tamara would make a lovely couple,” Kate muttered as she followed Meg. “Then it would just be me left.”
Nate went cold. Had everyone been talking about him and Tamara?
What did they know? He wasn’t sure who else had heard Kate’s comment, but he hoped Tamara hadn’t.
Suddenly, the room felt too small for him, and he faked checking his phone, giving him an excuse to go outside.
There, in the growing dark, he leaned against the wall and tried to relax.
He needed to find a way to ground himself when the world, and everyone in it, seemed to be throwing him off-kilter.
Only the pressure of a small form against his legs told him that he wasn’t alone.
“Hey, Furface,” Nate said, reaching down to stroke the dog’s fur. “You’re spending a lot of time around here, aren’t you? Especially for a dog who doesn’t actually belong to Tamara.”
The dog sat on his haunches, looking at Nate far too intelligently.
“At least the only thing you’re ever going to get is a few dog treats,” Nate said. “You might even run off, but you probably won’t break her heart when you do it.”
That was something Nate couldn’t bear to do. Hurting Tamara was the last thing in the world he wanted to risk, even if she were willing to try a relationship with him. And that wasn’t happening right now. Not even close. The way she’d stepped back after the photo session spoke volumes.
“Nate? What are you doing out here?”
Nate turned to find Daniel and Travis walking out of the café.
The last he’d seen of the two men, they’d been firmly wrapped up in the women they loved, looking as though they might never move from their sides.
At the sight of the two guys, Furface scampered off into the dark, disappearing into the shadows where nothing and no one could hurt him.
It struck Nate as strange that he didn’t run away when he or Tamara were around.
Nate managed to smile. “I could ask you two the same question. Shouldn’t you both be inside enjoying the party?”
“Amy, Jenn, and Meg started comparing notes,” Daniel said with a smile of his own.
“So we thought it was probably a good moment to leave them to it,” Travis finished for him. “Besides, we saw you out here and thought we’d see what you were up to.”
“Not much,” Nate said. “I was just out here talking to Furface.”
“Furface?” Daniel said, but Nate didn’t want to explain. It felt too private. Something just between him and Tamara.
“He’s a little dog that hangs around here,” Travis said. “I’ve seen him over at Married in Malibu, but he has no respect for security,” he added, laughing. “Although he stays pretty clear of me.”
“He probably has his ‘safe houses,’” Nate joked. “He comes to me just fine.”
Travis laughed. “I’m sure he just recognizes a kindred spirit.”
Nate suddenly wondered if Travis thought he was a single and happy-to-be-fancy-free kind of guy. Did Tamara see him that way too? Like a stray who’d eventually run off?
“Seriously, though,” Daniel said. “What’s up with leaving the party? It was just getting started.”
Nate shook his head. “I haven’t left. I’m just out here to get some air.”
Daniel frowned at that. “Something wrong?”
Nate knew he couldn’t just come out and say it.
That wasn’t what guys did. More to the point, they’d probably mention anything he said to Jenn and Amy.
Nate knew he couldn’t ask them to start keeping secrets from the women they loved, but it was a sure way for the news to get back to Tamara.
So he did the only thing he could—blamed it all on work.
“It’s just this wedding,” Nate said. “With all the preparations, I’ve got a lot of work to do to make sure everything is perfect. There’s no margin for error.”
Travis nodded. “It sounds like a lot, man. I’ve got it fairly easy this time around. A little security on the way to the venue, maybe keeping a few fans out on the day.”
“And the photography is fairly simple,” Daniel said, shrugging.
Nate looked out into the dark. “I’m glad things are simple for somebody. Also, way to rub it in, guys.”
“What we’re trying to say is that if you need anything, we’re here for you,” Travis said.
Daniel nodded. “You’ve helped us out plenty of times. We owe you.”
That was good to hear, and it was even better to know that there were guys out there who had his back.
He’d never had that in any of his former jobs.
If your code failed to compile properly, or a bug left a backdoor and a hacker got into a system, then it was more about apportioning blame than helping one another out.
“I’ll probably take you guys up on that,” Nate said. “Someone’s going to have to shoot the feed for the wedding while I’m managing the upload. And, Travis, we’ll need to set up the lighting for the whole thing.”
“So I’ll be climbing a lighting rig, then,” Travis said.
Nate smiled. “Better you than me.”
He paused for a moment, enjoying the fact that his friends were here, and they were prepared to help him out.
Just the fact that they’d come out to check on him said a lot about them, and Married in Malibu too.
Even so, it took him a minute before he could build up the courage to ask the next question.
“I’ve got a question for both of you. Jenn didn’t want to date at first, did she? Or Amy? I mean, when you guys were first starting out with them, they weren’t exactly jumping at the opportunity, right?”
Travis shrugged. “Amy had plenty of reasons not to, after I’d walked away the first time. Her life had changed. I didn’t believe I was good enough for her. Why would she give me a free pass when I couldn’t even let myself think it might be possible?”
Nate hadn’t thought of it like that. Who would be good enough for Tamara?
“For me and Jenn,” Daniel said, “I was stuck thinking that the mother of my children was the only love I would ever have and that I’d never meet anyone else again.
And Jenn had that horrible ex of hers. And there were all the complications with the kids.
In the past, I’d met women who’d run a mile as soon as they found out I had children. ”
“But Jenn wasn’t like that,” Nate said.
“No,” Daniel said with a smile. “No, she wasn’t. But it still took a while for us both to realize that our lives could fit together if we both worked at it.”
Nate had to admit that their stories were encouraging, so he knew he had to ask the next question as well, even if it was difficult for him.
“So, if they weren’t certain at first,” he said, “how did you go about changing their minds?”