Chapter 30
I’m working on the bag, but I’m watching Ari collect her things in the office from my peripheral vision. I check my phone for the time, and it’s five minutes to ten. I wait every night until she leaves. Making sure the Uber driver takes her home. I want nothing more than to be near her. To steal her breath. Smell her sweet skin. It takes everything inside me not to walk into the office and beg her to return. To not leave me.
When I get home, I look for her in the house sometimes. At times, I think she is still in her room. There are nights when I can’t sleep thinking about her and walk to her room and lie on the bed, hoping the housekeeper hasn’t forgotten to not wash the scent of her from the sheets. I sniff the bed like a dog, trying to find its owner’s scent until I see it by the small pillows. I close my eyes, imagining her in my arms, and when I wake up alone, I’ll find her in the kitchen making us food and wearing those sexy shorts I love, but I know it was just a dream. The ghost of her lives in my thoughts. Her heartbeat is the only sound I can remember.
My phone pings from a notification. I unlock the screen and frown. Her Uber ride has been canceled on my account.
I look up in time to see Ari turn off the lights. She doesn’t look this way. She doesn’t stare at me when I’m on the speed bag or find me when I’m in the ring. She only communicates with me through Javier. I hate it but have accepted it if that’s what she wants.
I’ve stopped texting her and try to get used to her not being in my life, but I can’t think. I can’t breathe.
I miss her.
I grab my shirt, pull it over my head, and reach for my sweater as she walks toward the exit to tell her that her ride will not be waiting outside. I could have texted her, but it would have taken too long, and I didn’t want her standing outside alone in the cold. She pushes the door and walks out before I can reach her.
I run toward the exit, catching the door before it slams shut. I shiver from the cold as it bites my skin.
I spot a late-model Mustang pulling up. She turns her face slightly when she opens the door. I see her smile. The driver’s side door opens. My stomach clenches as I watch Chase walk around and help her in his car.
I swallow the thickness in my throat, stepping back inside and letting the door slam shut. I close my eyes, and all I can see is him kissing her. Making love to her.
Pain stabs me in the chest. It feels like the final round of a fight. Feeling every cut and bruise on my swollen face. Every breath I take burns like I’m on fire, and I can do nothing to make it stop unless I give up. It’s too late, but I can’t let her go.
I walk over to the punching bag, and rain blows until the bag splits.
I stop. I drop to my knees, gripping the bag to keep myself from falling. My lungs burn. Tears sting my eyes.
Strong arms wrap around me from behind. I whirl around, ready to strike, but it’s Javier. My eyes blur, and I cry for the first time since my father left us. I cry, listening to the silence that is swallowing everything I love.