Chapter 13
13
I didn’t think I would do it. Be like this. Bold and reckless.
After spending the week miserable and walking on eggshells, I decided to break free. I turned off my phone and headed for Bedford Heights. My father, Cain, and Phil were immersed in business talks and planning, and my mother was shoving bridal magazines in my face.
The sight of actual wedding dresses gave me a panic attack. The shooting pain in my chest, the nausea in my throat, the sinking feeling I couldn’t shake—it was all too much.
Now here I was, in the Heights without a care in the world.
My head was still spinning, my legs were unsteady, and my heart was racing as I came down from my orgasm.
Sweat. Cologne. The unmistakable scent of motor oil. Keith.
Being engulfed in his strong arms as he held me up and fucked me was my new favorite thing.
He set me down and offered to clean me up, a gesture that left me speechless as I declined.
I was frozen in place as he went about discarding his condom and adjusting himself.
I didn’t want to move or walk, but suddenly I was starved. All of me just wanted to lay and eat.
Keith didn’t listen as he swooped me up and carried me over to the counter. He set me down and turned on the sink, soon gathering a couple of paper towels and wetting them. I said nothing as he parted my thighs and gently wiped me down.
Tender.
It was a side of Keith I admired. One look at him and I would’ve never seen him being so gentle and attentive. Especially not on the night we met when one glimpse at his face sent me recoiling. He’d looked so angry and mean then. A paradox to who he really was, or what I knew of him so far.
Either way, I liked watching Keith work.
He looked over at me, catching me staring. He smiled and went back to what he was doing and I bit down on my lip to contain my glee.
It was dangerous how much I was attracted to him. How much I could like him -like him. How much I wished he’d kiss me already. I wanted to feel his lips on mine while he was inside me. Wanted to feel connected in every way.
Keith finished with his task and threw away the paper towels. When he faced me, offering his hand to help me down from the counter so we could do a little walk of shame out of the restroom, I shook my head.
I needed to get ahold of my bearings. “Give me a minute.”
Keith left me alone and I sank into my position on the counter.
God .
We’d just done that. Public sex in the restroom of a diner. Scratch that, amazing public sex in the restroom of a diner. I’d never forget this for as long as I lived. I was completely another person out there when I took off my panties—panties I wished I had currently—and passed them to Keith. My Darling Nikki took over and I commanded Keith’s attention until he was chasing after me into the women’s restroom.
I was living on the edge, young and wild, and I loved it.
At least, I would until I said I do . When I would leave behind this affair and become a dutiful wife. Till death do us apart and all that.
My mood dampened just a little at the thought of my impending nuptials. Cain was interesting, but he wasn’t what I wanted, no matter how much of a polite effort he put in. When I was with him, it felt like I stepped into an old black and white world where women had no rights and waited for their men to give them orders.
I hated it.
Before I could depress myself, I washed my hands, fixed my dress, and put on a fake smile. One that no one could see through as I exited the restroom and greeted a few people on my way back to my table.
Keith was placing our food in to-go boxes when I got back to the table. The sight made me frown.
I wanted to eat.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I came around him.
Keith kept at what he was doing. When he spoke, his voice was low. “We’re leaving because you got sick in the bathroom.”
Immediately my hand came down to my abdomen. I stole a glance at the counter, catching a few people in Sonny’s Kitchen peeking in our direction. I wondered if they knew. As if there was a neon sign above our heads reading out, WE HAD SEX IN THE BATHROOM! This was so out of character for me, but I didn’t care.
Keith placed our boxes in plastic bags and then took the lead out of the building with me following behind. I’d just managed to take a big sip of my mango-peach lemonade before having to abandon it. Paranoia had me believing I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as we made it out of the diner.
Once we were outside, I could finally breathe and relax.
“I can’t believe we just did that!” I waited until we were near Keith’s truck to properly freak out.
He used his key fob to unlock the doors, smirking as he looked my way. “You’re crazy, you know that?”
All I could do was smile as we got back into his truck and buckled in. Keith handed me the food and I felt a jolt of energy straight to my heart when his skin brushed against mine.
If he felt it to, he didn’t let it show as he focused on starting up the Tahoe and pulling out of his spot.
I couldn’t wait to get home and talk to Jadyn. She would be all for this latest escapade of ours. Really, I had no idea what had gotten into me.
Keith parked a couple of spots away from my Lexus when we made it back to Rod’s Repair.
I gathered my bag of food and left Keith’s bag on the seat before getting out of the truck. Keith got out as well. Ever the gentleman, he walked with me over to my car, making sure the coast was clear at the shop.
“Well, guess I’ll see you next time,” I said as I went and placed my bag on the back seat floor.
Keith appeared quizzical. “Where you think you goin’?”
“Home?” I said, confused.
He angled his head. “You got something to do?”
“No…?”
He gestured with his head back toward his Tahoe. “Come back to my spot with me. We can chill.”
“Chill” as in, hanging out casually.
“Isn’t that against the rules?” I challenged.
Keith advanced on me. “You and my uncle decided to disrupt my workday, so I’ve got the time.”
“And what do you do for fun?” I took a step back, and he took a step forward. It was like a dance.
“Work,” he countered. “Occasionally I volunteer at the community center.”
Aww .
“To steer kids down a different path than you took?” I guessed.
Keith nodded solemnly, as if ashamed of his past.
That touched my heart, and halted my retreat. Keith took a hold of me, pulling my body into his. “Besides, maybe I don’t want to see you go just yet.”
“No?” Being jobless, I had an open schedule most people would envy. The luxury to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. These days, post engagement, I preferred sulking in my penthouse. And even that was becoming more depressing, because I didn’t even know if I would live there come next year. If Cain was moving in , or if I was moving out .
I blocked all that out as I focused on the man in front of me, the man holding me to him.
“I still got the brownies,” he said, attempting to convince me.
It worked like a charm as I lit up. Without even thinking, I jumped on him, going and wrapping my legs around his waist. Keith caught me effortlessly, not even flinching with my added weight. “You bought the brownies?”
He chuckled. “You wanted them.”
It was a simple request, one he’d obliged.
“Maybe I want you to kiss me now,” I said as I locked my arms around his neck.
Keith shook his head. “Bad idea.”
It was. But like a pyromaniac, I was growing to be completely in love with playing with fire. “Why?”
He leaned close, his forehead against mine. “Because I’m afraid once I start, I’ll never stop.”
A tremor ran through me and I shuddered. Definitely a thin line we were treading.
“I’m a terrible kisser,” I lied.
Keith gazed at my mouth. “So, you’re good at everything else, but kissing is where it stops?”
“Uh-huh.”
He shook his head once more. “I don’t believe you.”
It was a bad idea, no matter how tempting it was. I wanted to kiss Keith. But the trouble was, I couldn’t afford to want him. Sex was already pretty damn personal. Getting all emotional and kissing him over kind gestures would only lead to my downfall.
He set me down and I smoothed out my dress, calming myself down and pulling myself together.
No kissing.
“Okay, I guess we can hang out for a little while,” I said.
I got in my Lexus and buckled in, easing out an easy breath, trying to steady my nerves. I should’ve driven home, but I didn’t. I followed Keith over to his house and didn’t hesitate to enter his home with him.
The last time I’d been here, I’d only gotten to see his bedroom and back patio. There wasn’t time for a proper tour with where our heads were. Now, Keith wasn’t interested in more sex as he took my pancakes along with his and went and set them on the counter in his kitchen. I found my way to his living room, with its polished amber wooden floors and clean white walls. There was a gray area rug underneath his glass coffee table and beige sofa. On a love seat across from the sofa was a pile of decorative pillows—something that piqued my interest because it said there was an attempt to find some sort of style.
It was fascinating how men didn’t require too much for taste or decoration. Keith was clearly satiated with the simple things, as he had his large TV mounted on the wall in front of the sofa and coffee table, a blue throw blanket neatly folded on the back of the sofa in case he got tired, and then there were a few movies on a nearby bookcase that went along with his Blu-ray player.
Men didn’t need knickknacks or trinkets because “it was cute.”
Even if the minimalist thing worked for Keith, I still was curious about him adding a touch of pizzazz in his home.
On the TV stand beneath the TV was an Alexa. I went and turned her on as Keith entered the room, going and making himself comfortable on the couch.
“What do you like to listen to? Oh yeah,” I suddenly remembered, “violence.”
Keith was rolling his eyes when I looked back at him. “Enlighten me. What do you listen to?”
I leaned against the TV stand and pondered over what to request Alexa to play.
“Alexa, play R&B,” I said.
Alexa indulged me, and soon we were hearing a classic song that had me turning and grinning at Keith.
“Naughty Girl” by Beyoncé came through Keith’s speakers and he chuckled as he eased back into his seat on the sofa. He had a toothpick in his mouth as his eyes were locked on me.
A dark eyebrow arched upward. “You gonna do a little striptease?”
Now I was rolling my eyes. There was no way that was happening. “That reminds me, I’m going to need my panties back.”
Keith sank back, manspreading comfortably. “Come get ’em.”
The thinly veiled threat sent something lurching beneath my belly.
“Dance with me?” I asked.
Keith shook his head.
“Lame.”
The Beyoncé song was too infectious to stand still. While I wasn’t confident enough to do an actual striptease, I did feel silly enough to want to dance for Keith.
I restarted the song and turned around and set my gaze on where Keith was watching me.
On the top shelf of the TV stand was a red baseball cap. I picked it up and put it on, causing Keith to grin.
I began to move, not having the best rhythm, but deciding not to take myself too seriously. I swayed my body to the melody and played with the hem of my dress, daring to bring it close to exposing myself to him. But that was a part of the act.
Keith’s attention was glued to me as I got down low and rocked on my heels, moving my hips from side to side. Keith was entranced and I loved the feeling of his eyes on me.
Slowly, I rose to my feet, continuing to whine my body. Deciding that the hat was too MJ, I took it off and tossed it to the side.
Keith laughed, his handsome face lighting up as he sat up.
I rolled my neck, played in my hair, getting more into my dip into Beyoncé—of course, there could only be one Bey.
I dropped down low once more, beginning to crawl on the floor in my best attempt to be a sexy lioness. I leaned low, arched my back, and kept my eyes on Keith. I didn’t feel an ounce of the confidence I was oozing, but I was faking it until I made it as I shook my ass to the beat.
I danced for Keith until the song ended, going and collapsing back on the floor with my chest heaving as I let loose a small grin.
Jay-Z better have worshiped the ground Bey walked on.Dancing was a workout.
In my past relationships or experiences, I’d never done something like this. I’d barely known this man for two weeks, and already I was doing things I never did. Hampton Hills’s Kennedy Nichols kept in line, never broke any rules, and was a perpetual sweetheart. With Keith, in Bedford Heights, I felt free.
A Ne-Yo song was playing now as I sat up on my haunches. Keith was still watching me, serious now.
“Come here,” he said.
I got out of my heels and padded over to him. Keith wasted no time in wrapping me in his arms and bringing me to his chest. He planted a kiss on my jaw that sent me sighing deeply.
“Your silly ass is sexy, you know that?” he whispered in my ear.
Something jumped in my chest and I couldn’t contain my smile.
Reluctantly, I sat up away from Keith’s warm, inviting body. “Got any water?”
“Yeah, in the kitchen,” Keith said as he nodded off out the room.
He started to get up, but I stood instead. “I can get it.”
I hummed along to “When You’re Mad” as I stepped out of the room and made my way to his kitchen. Clean. Organized. Vacant. Perhaps what Keith needed was a woman’s touch to add some oomph to his home.
In his cabinet by the sink, he had mason jars to drink out of and I liked that. I grabbed one and went over to the fridge to use the water dispenser on the door. It was when I did this, that it hit me.
Back at the garage his uncle had asked if I was someone else. Another woman. One named Leila . I hadn’t missed the way Keith’s back had stiffened slightly. The way he’d seemed distant then. As if he’d been caught in more than the act.
Huh.
I grabbed my water and went back out to the living room and sat on the sofa. On the end furthest from Keith.
He noticed.
He reached out, grabbing my foot to drag me closer.
“Who’s Leila?” I brought up.
Instantly, he dropped his grasp on me. “What?”
Ugh. I hated when men did this. Respond to a clear question with a huh? or a what?
“Leila,” I repeated before taking a sip of my water. “Your uncle thought I was a woman named Leila. Who is she?”
Keith’s energy went from playful and warm, to cold and sterile. “Don’t worry about it.”
We weren’t supposed to get too deep or personal, but still, I didn’t like being in the dark. Was she someone else in his orbit? I didn’t want to step on another woman’s toes, and I didn’t want to play second fiddle either. Ironic considering my engagement.
“Kennedy,” Keith’s voice danced on irritated.
I shrugged. “It’s fine.”
He sighed, going and running a hand over his waves. “Look, I don’t even know the name of your fiancé—and I don’t want to know. You’re the one who didn’t want to get personal, remember?”
I didn’t. “I do. But if there’s someone else…”
Keith made a face, a muscle in his jaw flexing. Leila was tough territory for him. “She’s my ex. She’s not around. It’s been done for over a year.”
Judging from his body language, I knew I was right in my guess of, “ She ended things.”
Keith nodded. “Wasn’t good enough for her.”
I felt the prick of rejection teeming from him. “ You ?”
Once more he nodded. “Me.”
There, in his dark eyes, I saw pain. “Keith.”
He moved away from me, forcing himself to shrug, I could tell. “I’m sensitive. I’d rather not talk about it.”
I didn’t know Leila, but right then I hated her for making him feel this way.
I knew men liked to bottle up their emotions, and it was probably for the best that we didn’t exchange a heart to heart, but still I pushed against our limits as I set my water on the coffee table and went closer. I sat on Keith’s lap, resting my chin on his chest as I peered up at him. He didn’t look sad or anything, just empty and alone.
Touching a tattoo on his bicep, I focused there as I began to talk. “She was wrong about you.”
“Think so?”
I followed the length of a stream of smoke with my finger. “Uh-huh.” I drew my gaze up to his. “When you were younger you joined a gang for whatever reason, made some mistakes I’m sure, but you turned your life around when your mom got ahold of you. You didn’t rebel, you didn’t fight—you changed. And now you’re here, strong, resilient, helping young boys who may feel like you did, and showing them the way. It seems to me, that you’re more than good enough of a man, Keith.”
Keith stared down at me, his forehead adopting a crease as he appeared lost in thought. He came closer and kissed my forehead and brought me more into him. “Thank you.”
The lines blurred and I didn’t care. I wanted him to know that his ex was wrong about him. That he was good enough. That he mattered and was making a difference.
Keith reeled back, pushing some hair behind my ear. “Why are you a pescetarian?”
A smile washed across my face at a distant memory of a much younger me. “My father, actually. Outside of the whole corporate thing, he’s a big hunter. One time, when I was like six or something, he, my mom, and me were on a trip—I forget where we went, but I just knew we were getting deer. The whole trip I sat in the back seat talking about how I was going to keep my deer as a pet and name him. I kept going on and on, and they let me.”
Slowly, Keith began to smile, coming back to me. “They did, huh?”
I nodded. “Yeah, and I was so excited.”
“And what happened?”
I frowned, remembering little bits of what happened next. “We got to this place, this meat market, and there’s no deer. Just packs of butcher paper wrapped meat. That’s when I realized I wasn’t getting a deer, that they were all dead.”
Keith didn’t laugh at me like my parents sometimes did when I told this story. Instead, as if to protect me from the vivid memory, he held me.
“I stopped eating meat shortly after that. My dad used to fish, but I didn’t mind that as much as the furry animals,” I said.
“I get it,” Keith said. “I don’t mess with animals like deer, rabbit, or lamb no way. I just stick to the basics, chicken, pork, and beef. I do love seafood, though.”
“Once in a while I may eat chicken when Jadyn gets some, but I try to stick to my diet,” I said. “After I quit meat, my dad never fussed with me. He and my mom were good about making sure I had fish if they were eating meat.”
My heart hurt just then, thinking of my family.
“How’s your father?” Keith’s question didn’t come as a surprise. It wasn’t his concern, but I did admire that he cared to ask.
I shook my head. “Keith.”
Keith didn’t back down as he sat up. “Who do you talk to about what’s going on with your dad’s health? With him playing a hand in your engagement? Mentally, it’s not okay to just repress this shit,” he reasoned. “I’m not an asshole to ignore you got real problems, and just keep fuckin’ you.”
I blinked to stop myself from being dramatic and crying. Truth was, I felt a lot when it came to my father. Didn’t know how to unload it all or where. I wanted to be strong and not overwhelm Jadyn. And I didn’t want to be a burden when there was already so much going on with my father’s condition.
But shit, did it hurt.
“He was having a muscle spasm on Sunday and my mom panicked. He’s stable now. The doctor gave him some meds to handle it,” I explained. “Thank you for asking.”
Keith stroked my cheek gently. “I’m happy to hear that.”
My body relaxed into his and I lay my head on his strong chest, breathing him in.
Cologne. Cigarettes. Keith. My lover.
Sometime later he turned on his TV and I got to eat my brownies. He wasn’t prepared for me to be around, so he ordered a large cheese pizza to accommodate for dinner. We found a movie on some streaming service and it wasn’t long before my eyelids became too heavy and I fought with myself to stay up and follow along to the thriller we’d stumbled upon.
I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until I woke up in Keith’s bed. A splash of his neighbor’s flood light leaked in through his bedroom window, but otherwise, the house from what I could see was dark. I was alone in bed I came to discover as I looked over and found no one beside me.
Without worrying about the time or my phone, I went out in search of Keith. He was on the sofa, under his throw, sleeping with the TV on. An old rerun of Malcolm in the Middle .
He’d given me his bed while he opted to sleep on the couch.
Go home, Kennedy , my subconscious ordered me.
Recklessly, I didn’t listen.
I went and squeezed on the sofa next to Keith, going and covering myself with his throw.
In another moment, his arm came around me and held me close.
“If I crush you, it’s your fault,” his sleepy voice said to me.
I snuggled back against him. “Okay.”
There was no thinking it over or questioning the consequences. I simply closed my eyes and went to sleep.