Chapter 30
30
“I’m so sorry, Kennedy,” my mother was saying as we stood alone in my family’s foyer. Cain and his men had left. He’d forked over my cell phone and I’d let him dig out his holster and gun from my Saint Laurent.
I was partially relieved to find that Keith hadn’t called or texted me during dinner. Partly relieved, and partly disappointed.
I hoped he wasn’t mad, even though he had every right to be.
“You’re just trying,” I mumbled as I placed my phone into my bag. “That’s all you’ve been doing since Daddy got sick. Trying to make the most of things.”
My mother’s gentle hands came and held me against her. I pressed my face into her neck, inhaling some of her familiar perfume and homey scent.And then I gathered my keys and went home.
It was late, and I didn’t know Keith’s work schedule, but that didn’t stop me from attempting to call to make things right as soon as I got into my door. The line rang and rang, until it reached his voicemail.
“ This is Keith, you just missed me. If you leave your name and your number I’ll hit you back ,” his deep voice greeted my ear in a lazy monotone.
A tone sounded out, indicating for me to leave a message.
I didn’t.
I hung up and called again. When the same fate fell upon me, I gave up calling altogether.
Me
I’m sorry I stood you up
He didn’t text me back, and he didn’t call.
* * *
In the morning, I awoke to no returned calls or texts. Just messages from Jadyn questioning my next move as far as Cain went.
I didn’t want to think about Cain.
Me
Faking my death sounds good
Jadyn
Being dramatic won’t solve your problems
She was right. I was in a big mess.
My first priority was getting through to Keith.
This time when I called him, he answered.
“What’s up, Kennedy?” He sounded dry, disinterested.
“Thank God,” I breathed out. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you.”
“I see that.”
So he’d ignored my calls and texts?
“Keith?” I questioned, unsure what this all meant.
He sighed on his end. “Listen, Kenny, it’s been a fun little minute and all, but maybe it’s?—”
“No!” I rushed to say, immediately cutting off what sounded suspiciously like a breakup speech. “Can you come by? We can talk, okay? It’s not what it looks like, I promise.”
He snorted on his end. “Actually, I have to get ready for work. My day off was yesterday .”
I frowned. He was hurt. “Keith, please. Let me explain.”
“I gotta go in. It’s whatever,” Keith said dismissively.
“Then come by when you’re off,” I suggested. “I’ll text you my address and you can stop by.”
He whistled. “Nice and late enough not to be seen, huh?”
“I can’t meet you in the lobby?—”
“?’Course not,” he responded coolly.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
He was being way too casual about this and it made me antsy. I could feel my grip on him slipping and I couldn’t lose him. Not my last thread of sanity.
“I would never leave you hanging. Just, please, come over and we can talk,” I begged.
He was quiet on his end and I feared he’d hang up on me.
I stayed silent, not wanting to press him further. I wanted to believe I was strong enough to endure whatever he had to say next, but that wasn’t true at all as I felt my heart crawl up my throat.
Another sigh came to my ear and he was back on the line. “Listen, text me your address and I’ll think about it.”
“Okay,” I said, trying to keep the hopefulness out of my voice.
“All right then, Kennedy,” Keith said.
“All right then.”
We hung up and I sent him a text with my address and instructions to get to my suite. Then I hugged my knees to my chest as I sat there in my bed.
If I had any guts at all I’d take what money I had and run off to Greece. Running sounded cowardly, though, even if I planned to go to a beautiful island.
On the other hand, facing my problems head-on felt daunting all the same.
For the time being, I told myself if I settled things with Keith I could handle the rest. Just one thing at a time.
I busied myself with going to my Pilates class and grabbing lunch with Elyse and Stephanie, the latter I hadn’t been in the mood for, but I welcomed the distraction.
“So, have you thought about bridesmaids and your maid of honor?” Stephanie asked as she doused her French fries in malt vinegar.
After my very unhealthy weekend in Bedford Heights, I kept it simple with a small ahi tuna nicoise salad. I put more interest in eating than conversing with the girls, but Stephanie had asked a legitimate question. One I couldn’t tap dance around.
To be honest, I hadn’t thought about my wedding in grave detail. I had a dress, but no color scheme. LeChé had even mentioned finding matching dresses for my bridal party when I’d picked out that plain dress. I couldn’t have been bothered then, and I still very much felt the same way now.
Ideally, if I weren’t marrying Cain and someone I loved instead, I’d have my dream dress, a champagne and cream-colored wedding theme, and of course Jadyn would be my maid of honor. For body count purposes, I’d have Elyse and Stephanie as bridesmaids.
But this marriage to Cain wasn’t that, so I wasn’t interested in ironing out the fine print.
Lazily, I lifted and dropped my shoulder as I chewed on some tuna. “Everything’s been happening so fast I’ve barely had time to think.”
Elyse glanced over at Stephanie who pointed a drenched French fry in my direction. “You should’ve just married Gaius.”
Elyse’s eyes bugged out. “Steph.”
Stephanie went on indignantly. “Oh, come on, that way she would’ve easily had her wedding colors be blue and white.”
Even I gagged at the thought. The Long Beach Sharks’ colors were capri blue, gray, and white. There were some WAGs who’d gone and used their fiancés’ team colors for their weddings, but I didn’t like the colors that much to ever do that. I also wasn’t a true sports girl. I’d feel like a fraud.
Just like I did as I endured more of my lunch with the girls.
Elyse and Stephanie were about the aesthetic. As long as I looked good amongst my fellow upper crust in Hampton Hills, that was all that mattered.
I needed to cut them off. After the theatrics of my wedding, I would become “too busy” for them. The mere idea left me smiling and half paying attention to whatever it was that Stephanie was saying.
I stopped by the bookstore after lunch and bought copies of Night Changes and the first Mister book.
At home I curled up in a chair and began reading Mister . It was about Simone, a young woman who gets her first serious job being an assistant for successful entrepreneur Isaiah Keller. Unlike Dixie and Darius’s lightly dramatic romance in Night Changes , something told me Mister would tug at my emotions with the dynamic of Simone and Isaiah.
I got caught up in my reading, focusing on page after page until well after night had fallen.
Knocking at my door pulled me away from my book, where I’d read my way to the middle, too engrossed to miss a second. I dog-eared my page and set the book aside as I stood and stretched before going and answering the door.
Keith.
He was standing there under a baseball cap slung low, a denim jacket, T-shirt, and jeans. Head to toe in blue.
My first thought was to jump on him and hug him, but then I thought better and politely stepped to the side so he could enter my suite.
Keith did so and looked around, his dark eyes lingering on every corner and piece of furniture I owned. I’d kept the color scheme the same, but I added a little touch of me to every room to make my suite a home.
“Make sure yourself comfortable,” I insisted as I tried to take his jacket.
Keith moved away from me, shaking his head. “Can’t stay too long, Kenny.”
He was distant and I hated it.
Threading my fingers together, I got down to it. “My dad called and wanted me to stop over. So, I did. That didn’t really go too well and when I was leaving my mother mentioned she’d ordered food. She wanted to have a nice family dinner to celebrate my engagement.”
“Have fun?” Keith asked, arching a brow.
“No. Cain took my phone and refused to give it back. I had to lie and say I had plans with Jadyn to explain why I was so desperate to go, and then Cain invited her to our dinner,” I said. “I got stuck there and I didn’t know your number to sneak and call you.”
Keith stood there, unaffected by anything I’d said.
“Keith, I would never stand you up,” I swore.
He removed his baseball cap and ran his hand over his waves. “I know that. I figured something came up when you didn’t show or get ahold of me.”
“Okay then,” I said. “Please don’t take it out on me.”
Keith fixed his gaze my way. “I’m not mad.”
“You kinda iced me out earlier like you were.”
“I’m just tired. This shit is a lot to deal with,” Keith threw out.
Lowering my guard, I padded over to him and tugged on his jacket as I peered up into his eyes. “I know, and I’m sorry. You’re my peace. The only thing keeping me together these days and I can’t lose that. It’ll never happen again, okay? I promise.”
Keith shook his head. “You can’t promise that.”
“I won’t let that happen again,” I reiterated to make my stance clear. Going forward, there’d be no more family dinners to fake an image I wasn’t interested in. They could drag me kicking and screaming down the aisle when the time came, but I wasn’t about to act like I liked any of what was going on. I intended to be an icy bitch until the day I got the luxury to annul my father’s decision.
Unless of course he came to his senses, but that wasn’t looking too good.
With Keith silently looking down at me and my staring up at him, everything felt on the line. His handsome face was of anger and stone, and I wanted to make things right.
Very quickly, I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. Startled, he parted his lips and I dove in for more, loving the feel of finally kissing him.
Only, not too long into my triumph, Keith jerked back. “What was that?”
I shrugged in an oops manner. “I just…needed to know what that felt like.”
His head tilted to the side. “Have you been curious about kissin’ your boy?”
“Gross,” I let out.
Keith released a breath through his nose. And then he took a dangerous step closer. One leaving me backing up. He tracked this movement and smirked, his hooded eyes locked on me. “You know, I’ve been very good about your boundaries. But you’ve never given a shit about mine.”
Another step closer. And another step back.
I turned, wondering if I could outrun him for space?—
My back was slapped against the wall of my living room and Keith’s hands planted on the wall beside my head, caging me in.
Keith came close and pressed his lips to my ear. “You’re a spoiled, selfish , fuckin’ brat.”
I reeled back. I had never been so insulted in my life. “I?—”
Keith ate my words. His lips claimed mine, causing my knees to buckle as a deep moan traveled from the pit of my belly.
Shit .
Keith’s body brushed against mine as he gave in and kissed me. His lips. Fuck. His lips were so soft, strong, and skilled. Aggressive, possessive, and determined. I had no choice but to submit. Keith was in control and I loved every second of it.
But I needed more.
Hastily, I reached out between us and began undoing his belt buckle. I wanted to kiss him with him inside me. Needed to kiss him while feeling him everywhere.
Except Keith stepped back, leaning away from my hands and breaking our kiss. Leaving me wet and aching.
“What?” My chest was rising and falling.
“I don’t have anything,” he let it be known as he ran his hand down his face. His eyes softened and the Keith I knew and wanted came to the surface. “I didn’t come here to dick you down, so I wasn’t thinking about grabbing anything.”
A condom. He didn’t bring a freaking condom?
I shoved him, annoyed as I walked off. “It’s…it’s okay. I’m on the pill.” Biting my lip, I began to search the area for a manila file folder I’d recently acquired. “I went to the doctor last week, and unfortunately for my fiancé I’m not carrying any contagious diseases. So, all is?—”
He grabbed me by the waistband of my leggings and pulled me back. “I can get you my medical records.” He looked into my eyes, appearing as serious as ever. “Are you sure about this?”
Slowly, I swallowed as I managed a nod. “Yes, I trust you.”
“Good, because I’m tired of fuckin’ playin’ with you.”
That was all he needed to hear. Gone was his patience as his hold of me became rough. In seconds he’d picked me up and was finding his way to my bedroom. I had never been so horny and needy in my life. I kissed all over the side of his face and his neck, causing his grip on my ass to harden.
Once we crossed the threshold of my bedroom Keith didn’t stop until he reached my bed where he tossed me down onto it. I bounced momentarily as I watched Keith take off his jacket and sling it to the side. Next went his shirt and one look at that body and those tattooed arms and I helped myself to rushing out of my tank top.
I let out a squeak when a rough hand grabbed a hold of my ankle and yanked me down to the edge of the bed.
Keith’s fingers curled around my waistband as he quickly ripped them down my legs.
“Don’t let me hurt you,” he said in a warning.
“You won’t,” was all I could manage to get out.
And he didn’t.
Keith removed the last of my clothing before stripping nude. With renewed focus, he crawled onto the bed and kissed me again, leaving me just as wanton as I’d been out in my living room. He left my lips and traveled to my breasts, giving each equal attention. The kissing continued further south where he buried his head between my legs and kissed me tender and numb.
All of this was for me as his anger took a back seat and he handled me with a softness I couldn’t get enough of. He brought me to the brink before coming back up and parting my thighs. He entered me slowly and at once let out this deep groan that sent my sex clenching around him.
“Fuck, Kennedy.” He moaned into my ear and I felt so much closer.
Keith made love to me for the first time and it was the most intimate experience I’d ever had. His hands were all over me as he took me slow and gentle, patient for what was brewing inside of me. Not once did he stop kissing me. Not once did I want him to.
There wasn’t a breath I took that didn’t involve his. We were one. Entwined. Entangled. Endless.
He held me tight and close when I came and I clung to him, needing him like a second skin as I rode out the sensation.
And then, as if a switch had been flipped, the anger was back as Keith took hold of my hips and slammed his into mine.
“Keith!” I could only call out his name once before another harsh intrusion sent me silent.
God he was deep. So deep inside me he felt embedded into my system.
“So what’s your plan?” he demanded to know as he peered down at me, irritation inflaming his dark eyes. “You’re gonna marry this dude, and then come and sneak into my city to fuck me every now and then?”
Tears pooled into my eyes as one stroke sent me close to the edge again. “No!”
He perked a brow. “Oh?”
I shook my head, my tears falling. “I only want you. I’ll never be his.”
Keith stilled, staring down at me, reading between my words for any hidden meaning. “We’ll see about that.”
He dove deeper inside me and I cried out.
Gone was Keith’s patience as he took what he wanted. He fucked me like he owned me. Like I was his . He stamped his name all over me. Keith. Keith. Keith .Claiming me. And I had never come harder in my life in the aftermath.
Cool air brushed over my naked skin as I lay on my side, facing Keith as he was facing me. A stupid smile on my face had me blushing into my pillow.
I was too sore to move, but I needed to get clean.
Keith’s palm ran down the length of my body and he followed the movement with a contented look. That was most intense sex I’d ever had and I was hooked for more.
I already liked how he fucked, but I loved how he made love, how he focused on giving me pleasure, how gentle he was, and how in the moment he seemed.
I ran my finger down Keith’s solid chest, wanting to trace it with my tongue but feeling too comfortable to make the move. “I like it soft and slow like that.”
Keith took my hand and kissed the back of it. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “Didn’t you?”
Keith bore a small half smile. “ Like is a small word, Kennedy Elizabeth.”
Inching closer, I pressed my hand to his heart. The feel of it beating hard made me rejoice. “I wish you could stay the night.”
Keith’s smile dimmed. “Yeah.”
He probably had to work in the morning and there was no telling if Cain would stop by unannounced or not.
Tiredly, I sat up, noting how tender I was. “I’m going to get in the shower. I’d invite you…but I don’t think I can last another round.”
The proud smile on Keith’s face made me shy.
We would totally have to change those sheets before he left.
Carefully, I got up and made my way to my en-suite bathroom where I quickly
hopped into the shower after wrapping my hair and putting on a shower cap.
After my shower I pulled on my favorite silk robe and stepped back into my bedroom only to find Keith tying his boots.
“What’s the rush?” I joked as I noticed he seemed intent on leaving.
Keith stood up and regarded me. “I gotta go.”
“So you were going to leave without telling me?” I asked with a forced smile.
He hung his head as he kept back. “Nah, I wouldn’t do that.” Slowly, he looked into my eyes. “I think it’s time, Kennedy. I kissed you and now it’s time to say goodbye.”
My heart froze in my chest as I struggled to breathe. “What?”
“I’m done,” he said more clearly.
“Why?” My voice came out small and weak.
“Because I’m tired,” Keith explained. He gestured around us. “I can’t stay because who knows if ol’ boy might stop through? I’ve never been to Hampton Hills, and you can’t even show me around because we might get seen by people who know you.”
“Keith…” I didn’t know what to say, because his frustration and complaints were true.
“You told me from day one you couldn’t love me and what the deal was, so it’s my fault for getting caught up. My fault for going along with this shit when I knew it wasn’t for me,” Keith went on. “I’m too old to be fucking with no feelings involved.”
“I have feelings too.” I hated that tears were lining my vision. I hated that I had no control over any part of my life, and the one small part that I did, was currently blowing up in my face.
Keith shook his head. “But your feelings don’t mean anything. You wanna know why? Because what you say and what you’re doing are two different things.” He paused, as if stopping himself from going further.
“What?” I demanded. “Just say it.”
Wounded, he looked at me and sliced me open further. “You want this marriage. You’re willing to go through with it because you want to.”
“No!” I cried out, unable to grasp how he could say such a ridiculous thing.
“Have you ever stopped to think if you grew a backbone and walked out of here with nothing but the clothes on your back, took the money you earned from your bank account, or none of it, and left—even while your father is at his lowest, that maybe, just fuckin’ maybe, he’d take you seriously? But no, you’re just complainin’ and poutin’ about marrying this weirdo.
“You haven’t put your foot down once. You’re willin’ to marry him because that’s what your father told you to do. You’re not willin’ to give any of this up,” Keith accused as he gestured around us once more. “You don’t have to marry Cain. You can walk away any time, and that could be all it takes to get your father to open his eyes and see what he put you through.”
His words pierced my chest and I felt my shoulders sag at the weight of it all.
“I get it. You’re twenty-four and you don’t know the answers to everything, but here and now the only answer that matters is where do you want to be and what do you want?” Keith pressed on. He sighed and looked at me for what felt like the final time. “I’ve never asked you for anything, but now I’m asking you to choose yourself.”
There were no words that could form on my tongue to explain all that I was feeling.
Keith walked over to me and I was trembling, breaking down at this goodbye. At this closure.
He kissed me on the lips, long and chaste, before leaning away. “Goodbye, Kenny.”
He walked out the door and took my heart with him.