Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
W hen Antony’s eyes widened, Riley knew she’d gone too far. All those high electric moments that she’d been experiencing, and from the look on Antony’s face, he’d been completely absent.
She’d thought this was her chance. That he’d felt it too. He kept teasing, flirting and causing the pull between them… How could she have been so wrong?
Her other embarrassing slip ups were easily dismissed as she tried to help Antony out of his depression, but this? This time she couldn’t blame it on anything but taking a risk.
And she lost.
Grabbing his plate, she stood. “I’ll just…go wash these.” Fighting the desire to kick something, she practically sprinted for the sink.
Griffin lifted his head, snorted, and put it back down.
Riley pinched her lips between her teeth. Apparently, Griffin wasn’t in tune with her emotions. Shaking her head, Riley decided she needed to finish quickly and get out of there before she revealed any more of her feelings.
Tonight, she’d moved from simply having a crush, to full out admitting that she loved him. Sort of. It’s not like she’d said the words, but the breathless way she’d admitted that she hated seeing him hurt was a smack in the face of her feelings.
There was no way Antony missed it.
No. Way.
“Riley.”
She stiffened and scrubbed faster, refusing to look over her shoulder. “I’ll be done in just a minute.” Why did rejection hurt so bad? Riley had settled this question in her mind a long time ago. She’d stepped into her “Chief Meanie” role knowing she’d never have Antony. But she’d been stupid. She’d let hope begin to grow anyway. Each time she saw a piece of the old Antony, Riley had taken it personally.
And now she was ruining everything.
“Riley.” This time his voice was softer and closer.
She could feel him standing at her back, and her skin warmed, sending flutters through her stomach. “Yeah?”
Antony didn’t respond for a minute, and Riley fought every muscle in her body to keep from turning to see what he wanted. Her face was on fire, her stomach was doing backflips, and her sternum felt as if she’d been punched. How a body could handle so many emotions at once was beyond her. The fact that she was still standing was a miracle in and of itself.
“Won’t you turn around?” Antony asked, his voice on the edge of pleading. “Please?”
It was the “please” that stopped her frantic movements. She’d never been able to resist when someone asked politely, and having Antony be the one asking? It made it doubly hard.
Pushing out a breath and locking her knees, Riley turned off the water and turned until her back was to the sink. Looking Antony in the eye, however, was more than she could handle. Instead, she kept her line of vision on his foot and crutch. They were much easier to talk to. “What can I do for you?” she choked out. “I was going to help you with Griffin tonight, but we can call it early. I’m sure you have something you can eat for dinner. I’ll just get out of your hair, you know?”
Her mouth snapped shut when Antony’s finger landed on her lips with silent command. Once she stopped talking, he moved his fingers down to her chin and slowly pulled her face up until her gaze landed on his.
“Riley,” he said again. The sound of her name did funny things to her heart’s regularity. “Why are you running away?”
“I…” Riley blinked several times, trying to pull her thoughts together, but Antony had begun caressing her jawline and she felt the sensation clear to her toes. It robbed her mouth of movement and her mind of words, leaving her mute.
Antony leaned forward, his eyes dancing between hers. “Do I frighten you?”
“No,” she blurted out, too quick to be casual. She was gonna hyperventilate. Between his touch and his voice, Riley just knew she was going to faint dead away. What was happening to her? She’d known Antony forever. She’d seen him at his best and his worst. How had she fallen so far in such a short amount of time?
“Tell me you feel it too.”
She blinked. “W-what?”
One side of Antony’s mouth twitched, but his eyes remained deadly serious. “Tell me that you meant it,” he pressed. “That you meant what you said about not seeing me hurt.” He continued without waiting for a response. “Tell me that you’re here for more than the fact that I’m a broken mess and you like to fix things.” His hand cupped her cheek. “Tell me that you feel this tug, this thing between us.” He leaned closer, their noses practically touching. “Please, Riley. Tell me.”
Could she be brave one more time? Or stupid? Could she admit in exact wording how she felt? Antony already had the jist of it, but his desire for her to lay it all out was terrifying and yet exhilarating.
Surely, he wouldn’t want to hear it if he didn’t feel the same, right? He wouldn’t be here, touching her and asking questions if he was embarrassed by her feelings, or if he didn’t feel that pull he was talking about.
She opened her mouth, shut it, then opened it again. She’d stepped boldly forward before, and she could do it now. “I hurt when you hurt,” she whispered hoarsely.
Antony groaned and closed his eyes, dropping his forehead to hers.
Riley wanted to close her eyes and revel in the feeling, but she had more to say, more to admit. The hope she’d been trying to squash was lit up like a torch, and she wanted to keep feeding it.
Unlocking her fingers from the counter behind her, she brought her trembling hand to his face, letting her fingers trace the scars. “I’m not here because I like fixing broken things.”
His breathing grew faster, and his chest heaved.
“I…I don’t really know when it all changed, but I’m here because I couldn’t stand to watch you throw your life away.” She swallowed hard. “You’re too good. Too handsome. Too full of worth to waste away in your pit of anger.”
She felt him shudder as he breathed and dragged himself even closer, their feet touching now.
“The accident doesn’t define you,” Riley said, letting her fingers trail down the side of his neck where the scars disappeared under his shirt. She rested her hand on his chest, feeling his rapid heart rate and shallow breathing, a near match to her own. “I’m here because even if you never felt the same, I couldn’t stay away.”
Riley waited…and waited…but Antony didn’t move.
Her skin was flushed and her heart raced in anticipation, but he stayed where he was, letting her words hang between them. Should she say more? Should she kiss him? He was so close. The air practically crackled against her skin, but her boldness had run its course and Riley was unsure.
Without a response, she didn’t know what Antony really thought, and now she was beginning to second guess everything. When he’d followed, her emotions had whiplashed from rejection to hope, but they were beginning to wane again.
She saw it a split second before it happened, but when the crutch fell to the floor, she still jumped, ramming back against the counter, only to stay there when Antony’s hands caged her in.
Putting one hand on the edge, he leaned in, barely giving Riley space to breath, and his other hand gripped the back of her head, bringing her back into his space.
“I’m not a good man,” he rasped, his hand tightening ever so slightly against her head.
Riley immediately started to refute his claim. His words were so laden with guilt and pain that she felt herself drowning in it. But he spoke again before she could.
“I should stay away from you,” he continued. “You’re too good and pure for someone like me.” His breathing grew heavier. “But I don’t know how to stay away.” Antony shook his head, his voice dark and loathing. “I don’t think I can walk away at this point.”
And then his lips were on hers, and Riley learned what it was to be adrift and found all at the same time.
He’d lost his mind. Utterly and completely lost his mind.
But nothing in Antony’s life had ever felt so right.
Here he was, balancing on one leg, leaning into the counter, holding Riley to him, and for once…he felt whole.
Riley’s hands slid up his chest and wrapped around his neck. Antony would never be able to let go. How this perfect bubble of sunshine could see past his scars and his missing limb was a mystery, but letting her walk away would’ve been the worst mistake he’d ever made…and Antony had made a few of them.
Okay…a lot of them, especially since getting home.
Pulling her closer, Antony angled Riley’s head so he could deepen the kiss, and she melted completely into his chest, nearly sending him off balance.
“I’m so sorry,” Riley gushed, using her hands on his shoulders to help him stay upright.
Antonyprobably should have felt embarrassed at his inability to stand straight, but his mind was definitely not on his terrible balance. Instead, he tucked Riley under his chin and just let himself feel the comfort of a human being being close.
“Don’t apologize,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll figure out how to do this properly.”
Pulling away from him, just enough to look up, Riley smiled and shook her head. “If you did it any more properly, we’d have fallen over for sure because my knees would’ve completely given out.” She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. “We need to get you a hair tie. You could pretty much pull it into a man bun at this point.”
Antony scowled. “I do not have a man bun.”
“We could make one,” Riley teased.
“Or we could keep doing this.” He leaned down and kissed her again, making sure his balance was in order first and rejoicing when Riley’s hand stayed in his hair. Tender touches had been few and far between since his accident, and Antony was soaking this up like a sailor who’d been at sea for years.
Riley sighed and tightened her grip. “This is good too,” she breathed.
Chuckling into their kiss, Antony leaned into her, desperate to get closer. He needed Riley. Needed her like he needed air. She was the first to see him behind the scars, and the only one willing to shove his angry facade aside.
His hand slipped on the counter, and Antony barely caught himself before falling again. “I guess I should have learned my lesson the first time,” he grumbled, frustrated that he couldn’t hold Riley the way he wanted to.
“Hey.” She cupped his face and brought it up where they could look at each other. “There’ll be plenty more time for that.” She left a soft kiss on his mouth that had Antony wanting to lean in again, but she pulled back. “Why don’t you sit, and I’ll make something for dinner?”
A trickle of shame ran down his spine and Antony did his best to shove it away, but it was a struggle. Is this how their relationship would always be? Her taking care of him because he was an invalid? Because he was broken?
“Unless you’d rather help?”
Antony jerked a little. “What?”
“Do you want to help make dinner?” Riley’s eyebrows were pulled together as she studied him.
Letting go of the counter with one hand, Antony reached out and rubbed the line between her eyes. “I’ll do whatever will cause you the least distress.” He knew how much of a burden he was, even if Riley was nice about it. He could set aside his pride a little longer, especially if it made her life easier.
Someday, he’d figure out how to contribute in a way that would make this an equal partnership. They might be starting in Riley’s corner, but Antony wasn’t going to let the leverage stay there.
“I’m not distressed,” Riley said with a laugh. She chuckled and toyed with her ponytail. “In fact, I feel better than I have in a long time.”
Her cheeks, which were already red, turned an even darker color, and Antony was unable to look away. When did she become this stunning? He’d known her when she was young and still as an adult, but somehow it had never tripped anything in Antony’s heart.
Until now.
“Me too,” he admitted, giving her ponytail a teasing tug after she let go. “What do you want me to do?”
Riley’s smile spread across her fac,e and she bounced on her tiptoes, leaving another sweet kiss on his lips. “Sit and chat with me? I’ll just make something simple, but I’d love to talk.”
“Talk it is.” Antony pushed aside another bout of uselessness and began to reach over for his crutch, but Riley beat him to it. Gritting his teeth to keep from saying he could do it himself, he took it. “Thanks.” Stuffing it under his arm, he limped toward one of the chairs.
“Don’t you want to sit on the couch?” Riley asked. “It’s definitely more comfortable.”
Antony shrugged and sat down, turning the chair. “This is closer.” He smirked when she blushed yet again. “I think somehow I’m worried that you’ll disappear if I turn my back.”
Riley laughed and began filling a pot with water. “I’ve been like a piece of gum under your shoe for the last month. Do you really think I’d be gone that easy?”
Antony shrugged. “Never can be too careful.” His eyes tracked her every movement while she made a pot of spaghetti with meatballs. Simply, easy fare, but something about it felt different.
This time she wasn’t just cooking so he wouldn’t starve. She was cooking for him and Antony felt that distinction through his entire chest. “So…you wanted to talk?” He reached down, patting Griffin’s head absently as he watched Riley.
She glanced over her shoulder, smiling shyly when their eyes met.
That blush would be the death of him.
She shrugged. “I just…didn’t want you to go away.”
His chest almost burst. How did she make him feel ten feet tall when he was only half a man? Leaning back and trying to act casual, he folded his arms over his chest. “So…are you still willing to help me train for the race? With Griffin?”
Riley pursed her lips. “If that’s what you want.”
“You still don’t think I should do it.”
She shrugged again as she drained the pasta in the sink. “I think you’re capable. But I’m worried we have the wrong equipment.” Her eyes darted to his crutch. “I still think two arm crutches would be better, and you’re not using a racing wheelchair.” The pot landed on the stove with a thunk. “It’s like you’re trying to do the Summer Fling in sandals instead of running shoes, and I’m concerned that’ll end up hurting you more in the long run.”
There was truth in her words, but Antony had no easy answers. He could probably afford the equipment with the military payout he received from his injury, but he was trying to be careful with his resources since he didn’t know how long they’d need to last. Disability helped some, but again…it was the unknown that had him hesitating even though the desire to get up and move was nearly overwhelming.
“I’d still like to give it a try,” he said, trying to put her fears to rest. “I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t know when or if that equipment will ever be available to me.” He chuckled darkly. “I could probably beg my insurance, but I’m not quite that desperate yet..”
Riley huffed. “Of course.” She stirred the sauce into the pot, quiet for the moment before nodding. “Then I guess it’s a good thing we’ll be running it together anyway. That way if something goes wrong with the chair, poor Griffin won’t be on his own trying to help.”
There went that buzz in his chest again. Would this woman ever cease to amaze him with her generosity?
Antony sincerely hoped not.