Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
R iley shivered as they stepped inside Antony’s apartment. “Geez, it’s cold for summer,” she muttered, rubbing at her arms.
Antony huffed and continued rolling into the space. The back of his neck was plastered with his hair, showing that he’d worked up a decent sweat during their short exercise together.
Riley pinched her lips, realizing how that must have sounded to him. “Sorry,” she offered. “I?—”
Antony looked over his shoulder and shook his head. “It’s fine. I know it’s easy for you.”
Easy for her? Riley had to bite back a smart remark. He thought all this was easy? Okay, maybe the run hadn’t taxed her that much, but nothing she was doing was easy.
Her job was far from easy, staying in shape was far from easy, taking care of him was far from easy, and dealing with his moods was even less.
She blew out a breath. Apparently, they were both in bad moods tonight. Closing her eyes, Riley forced a deep breath. She needed to be the calm one here. Antony was still hurting, still healing. She was seeing glimpses of good things, but considering how long it had taken to get this far, it would likely still be slow going forward.
She watched him pull himself up at the counter in order to get a drink, the muscles in his arms quivering after their run. The real question wasn’t whether or not he would get better. The question was whether or not it was worth it…for her.
Heart aside, Riley wanted Antony to get better. She hated seeing someone suffer the way he was suffering, especially when there was something she could do about it. But this time, her heart was involved, and that was making things more complicated. Antony was hot and cold and everything in between, which left her with no small amount of anguish.
Could she hold on long enough to see this through? Would her heart still be willing to function after the beating he would inevitably give it, no matter how unintentional?
“You thirsty?” Antony shifted just enough to see her reaction.
“A drink would be nice, thanks.”
He held onto the counter and grabbed another glass, filling it before holding it out as an offering.
Riley took it with a grateful smile. “Thanks.”
Antony nodded and worked his way back into the wheelchair.
Sipping slowly, Riley watched him, her heart aching. The important thing was to go into the relationship with wide eyes. Just like she’d pushed her way into Antony’s life with open understanding.
At the time, she’d thought she was giving up any hope of something more.
Now, she had to know that chasing something more would be a painful process.
Which did she want?
Antony rolled to the bathroom and came back with a towel, wheeling up next to Griffin and giving the dog a good rubdown. A small smile played on Antony’s face as the pup reacted enthusiastically, offering a few good licks to let Antony know how grateful he was.
Riley’ s painful heart rate slowed. How could she miss this? Every tiny glimpse felt like the sun bursting through a snowstorm. She wanted to bask in Antony’s light and let it warm her from the inside out.
If she walked away, if she stepped back, she’d miss moments like this. Moments where he came back to himself. Moments where his focus was anywhere but internal. Moments where her personal feelings solidified even further.
Setting the glass in the sink, she came over and squatted down next to the pair. “You did good, Griff.” Slobber coated her hand when she tried to pet him, and Riley laughed. “After I wash up, I’d like to take a look at the road rash on your back, alright?”
“It’s fine,” Antony assured her, his voice less gruff than when they’d first come in.
“I’m sure it is, but humor me.” She patted his knee and went back to the sink to clean up for a moment.
Antony grunted, but didn’t complain.
“Alright,” Riley announced, drying her hands as she walked. “Let’s get that shirt off.”
“Riley,” Antony scolded, the smile clear in his voice. “You’re being awfully forward here.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She tried to pretend that heat wasn’t emanating from her cheeks and neck. This guy drove her crazy and pulled her in all at once. It was a weird sensation.
Antony pulled his shirt off, but the bandage was lower than the back of the wheelchair.
“Why don’t we get you on the couch? That’ll be easier.” He chuckled, and Riley shook her head. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
His wide eyes said innocence, but the smirk on his lips said something else. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Riley glared, but helped him sit down and then shifted him until she could see how things were healing. “You’re doing great.” She did her best to ignore the muscles in his back. Were they getting bigger? It seemed like it. Standing back up, Riley turned away to cool her cheeks. “You can put your shirt on now, Tone.”
It was so ridiculous how she let him ruffle her feathers. She saw men without their shirts on all the time. In races, on the beach, at the gym. Why didn’t they affect her the same way Tony’s back and chest did?
“Is that an adjective or my name?” he teased while pulling the shirt over his head.
Riley threw her head back and groaned. “Seriously? What are you? Twelve?”
Antony grinned. “All men are twelve at heart.”
“And you wonder why I’ve been single so long.”
He lay back against the couch and held out his arms. “Come on, Riley Roo. I’ll show you I’m not twelve.”
She glared but eventually sat by his side, letting him wrap his arms around her. Closing her eyes, Riley leaned into his chest, letting herself enjoy his strength rather than shying away from it. He felt so warm, so safe.
How did guys do it? It’s not like Riley needed Antony to slay her demons. She wasn’t running from anything or anyone, but the contentment was hard to ignore. Even with Antony as hurt as he was, it felt so right to have him here. She smiled when he kissed the top of her head.
“Thanks for putting up with me,” he whispered.
It was Riley’s turn to laugh low. “I told you from the beginning, you wouldn’t get rid of me.”
His arms tightened. “And I’ve told you I don’t want to.”
“Have you?” she shot back. “I’m not sure grunting counts as confessing anything.”
Antony was quiet for a moment. Had she gone too far? She never quite knew how far she could go without taking Antony over the edge.
“I’ll keep you as long as you want to be here,” Antony whispered, a raw edge to hit voice that took away Riley’s breath.
Antony immediately wanted to take the words back. What was it about this girl that had him spilling his feelings like some teenage fangirl? He and Riley were so new. So, so new. He was going to terrify her by being so needy if he didn’t shape up and get himself under control.
Riley shifted in his arms and Antony prepared himself for her to pull away and make an excuse to go home, but instead, she seemed to snuggle in deeper, shocking him stupid.
“Why are you always so warm?” she murmured, her voice content. “Guys have it so easy.”
Relaxing at her reaction, Antony sunk deeper into the couch. “Until it’s ninety-five outside,” he offered. “Try keeping cool then.”
She nodded slowly. “I guess I can see that.”
Turning his head so she wouldn’t see his grimace, he tried to shift his shoulder, which was aching from their jaunt outside. His upper body was taking a beating from all the exercise. While Antony could tell he was getting stronger, the process was proving to be exceptionally painful, and right now, his muscles were desperate for relief.
The only way to get it, however, would be to let go of Riley, and Antony wasn’t about to do that. He meant what he said about holding onto her as long as she’d let him. She just didn’t know he meant it literally as well as figuratively.
“Ah, jeez.” Sitting up, Riley twisted in her seat. “Your arms. They have to be sore.”
Antony shrugged, but even that movement hurt.
“Do you want some ice?” She made to stand, but Antony stopped her.
“I’m fine,” he said with a small laugh. “I can just rest here. No biggie.”
“Yes, it’s a biggie,” Riley huffed, pushing herself off the couch. “I’ll get ice, and then we’ll work on getting rid of some knots.”
“Riley…” Antony whined. Sheesh. Could he sound any more pa thetic? What woman in her right mind would want to be with a guy who whined? Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Riley. I’m fine.” He wasn’t fine. “I’ll take a couple of pills before bed.” Maybe. If he stayed awake long enough for that.
Riley shook her head, her back to him as she searched for something in his cupboards. “Where are your bags?”
“Bags?”
“Plastic bags?” She turned and put her hands on her hips. “Sandwich baggies? Something to hold ice?”
Antony made a zipping motion across his lips.
“Like I said,” Riley said, pointing at him. “Twelve.”
A slow grin crept across his face. It was adorable that her skin turned bright pink before she spun and began searching again. After several long seconds where it was clear she wasn’t going to give up, Antony put her out of her misery. “I don’t have any.”
RIley stilled then turned around. “You don’t have any? No baggies at all?”
He shrugged. “Why would I have baggies? I barely leave this place. What would I need them for?”
“How about food storage containers?” Riley demanded, walking toward him. “Pots? Pans? Utensils?”
“You’ve eaten here before,” Antony snapped. “You know I have a few things.”
Sighing, she rubbed her forehead. “I think we need to give you a housewarming party.” Raising an eyebrow she glared at him. “Just so we can stock you with normal stuff.”
“Normal stuff for girls maybe,” Antony retorted, turning his back toward her. “Guys don’t worry about that kind of thing.”
“I’ll have you know that Aspen and Austin have storage bags and containers at their house.” Riley dropped back down at his side and Antony’s arm immediately snaked around her back, tugging her closer.
“That’s because a girl lives there,” he whispered in her ear, grinning when she shivered .
“Let me see your hand.”
Antony frowned. “What?”
Wiggling until he pulled back, Riley pulled his arm into her lap and picked up his hand between her own. “Antony,” she breathed as she looked at the red and raw spots. “Why didn’t you say it was this bad?”
He shrugged. “The calluses are already forming. No pain, no gain, right?”
Huffing, Riley shook her head and began to massage the pad of his palm. “Just when I think you’re getting better…”
All humor fled. What exactly did she mean by that? Getting better how? Was she only here because she thought he’d heal physically? Did she actually have feelings for him, or did Riley’s overactive mother-henness drive her every move?
Oblivious to his racing turmoil, Riley shot Antony a sad smile. “Looking at your hands, we’re making things worse when the race is supposed to be something to help you feel better. I’m so sorry.”
Taking a couple of seconds to swallow down his instant reaction, Antony reminded himself that Riley was good to the core. She wouldn’t have kissed him, let him hold her or stepped so easily into his arms if she didn’t have feelings for him. He needed to do a better job of taking her words at face value. She’d already admitted she didn’t like seeing him hurt. This was just another example of that.
“You’re a runner,” Antony reminded her, wincing when she hit a sore spot.
“Sorry,” she whispered, her shoulders hunching toward her ears.
Antony shook his head. “What I was going to say was, you’re a runner. I’m pretty sure you went through some sore muscles and aching joints before your muscles built up.” He shook his head in her hold. “This is no different.”
“I know,” she sighed. Her eyes dropped to his palm, and she used a single finger to trace along the lines there.
Antony worked hard to hide the shiver that raced up his spine from the gentle touch. He’d spent so much time pushing others away that every time Riley did something new, it caught him off guard.
“How about your other hand?” Riley held out her own in invitation.
Antony’s mind went blank. She didn’t want to see his other hand. He knew she’d seen it…but he didn’t want her to see it. He blinked and came back to himself when her hand landed on his cheek, the one with the scars.
“Antony,” Riley cooed, her fingers dancing along his sensitive skin. “It’s me,” she reassured him. “The girl who reminded you how handsome you were before you kissed her. The one who blushes like a maniac when you take your shirt off.”
His breathing grew shallow as the air between them thickened, and he found he couldn’t look away from her warm eyes.
Riley smiled softly, invitingly. “There is nothing wrong with your body,” she reassured him. “Just because it’s different than it was, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.” She leaned in, leaving the lightest of kisses on his mouth. “A few scars don’t change who you are, and they don’t change the fact that I’m ridiculously attracted to you.” Tilting her head to the side, that long, enticing ponytail swishing with the movement. “Let me help, please?”
How was a man supposed to stand up under this kind of assault? Riley should have joined the armed forces. All she would have to do is smile and bat her eyelashes, and wars would have been over before they began.
Instead of giving her his hand, he brought it up and cupped her cheek in a mimic of her own position. “Have I told you today how much I need you?” he rasped, not even bothering to clear his throat.
Riley closed her eyes and shook her head, her soft skin rubbing against his calloused fingers. “No.”
“Riley Sumner,” he whispered, leaning in until their lips were only millimeters apart. “You are the very air I breathe,” he continued. “Please never stop being so amazing. ”
Her breathing matched his own, and it only drove Antony on. “Please,” Riley whispered, her voice pleading softly.
He might be a cripple, but like Riley once said, he’d lost his leg, not his brain. Slipping his hand further behind her head, he forgot all about sore palms and aching shoulders. Riley was like a peddler’s tonic. Somehow her light cured everything, and he was going to drown in it as long as he possibly could.