39. Weddings and Wallowing
39
WEDDINGS AND WALLOWING
OLIVER
“Oh fucking hell, quit moping you dope, she’s not dead!” Casey practically screams.
“Feels like it,” I mumble, resting my palm under my chin, my elbow leaning on the kitchen island. Mom slaps Casey on the side of his head, scolding him for swearing. Casey is seventeen, one of the babies in the family, and Mom and Dad definitely treat him like it. I swipe my drink from in front of me and gulp it down. I just need to keep drinking. They all burst into conversation about the wedding, which is in a few hours. And I couldn't care less. Which is pretty shitty of me, I get it, and if Mallory was here right now she’d be scolding me.
And as if on cue, which I love, Mallory walks in, wearing my old highschool hockey jersey, the same one I’m currently wearing. I want to smile at her, and tell her she looks beautiful, that she looks so fucking beautiful no matter what she wears, but then a flood of images swarm by brain. Images of her leaving.
Stupid fucking California.
“What’s California good for anyway? Absolutely fucking nothing, that’s what.” I say, mumbling into an empty bottle. I rest my chin on its neck when Mallory swipes it out from under me, making me stumble a little.
“Ok drunky, you’ve had enough.” Elliot says, appearing from the corridor with his dress shirt untucked.
“It’s peach tea. He’s not drunk, he’s just dramatic.” She leans down to kiss my forehead. “My little drama queen.”
“Peach tea? Dude, really?”
“I’m sorry, do you want me to get drunk before Frankie’s wedding?”
Elliott mulls it over for a minute. “Kind of, yeah.”
I flip him off.
Mom must notice the pool of misery I'm currently drowning in and takes pity on me. She struts over to me and wraps her arms around me, like she did when I was little.
Like Mallory Did. Still does.
She’s not gone yet.
She’s literally standing right in front of me. Smelling like cherries.
A scent I won't be able to smell again come June. My mom moves around me and moves the chair closer to me, sitting carefully as she takes my hands in hers, squeezing, never letting go.
“il mio ragazzo dolce,” She removes one hand to cup my cheek, moving in closer so my nosy brothers don’t hear us. Dad tries to bury them with last minute wedding stuff, but I know it’s not working. “You are aware she’s not dead, yes?”
“Standing right here, bub.”
“I know, I know. I just– ” I sigh, not even bothering to explain myself. I know how I look, how I sound. I’m whining like a little bitch. I know I am. But I couldn’t give two fucks. I spent the majority of my college time too scared to show my feelings for my best friend, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t there. As far as I’m concerned. We’ve been dating since the start. That’s three years, give or take. And now she’s going to be thousands of miles away, so I think I'm entitled to grieve the loss of her, even if it hasn’t happened yet.
“ I’m going to miss you.” I admit, staring at my hands.
“I haven’t left yet, baby. I’m right here, aren’t I?”
I nod, wiping my nose secretly, trying to hide my movements from my brothers.
“Okay,” my mom claps her hands together. “Everyone out. Now. Come on.” My mom waits for my brothers to clear the room before she smiles, closing the door on her way out. I move to sit on the island, and Mallory leans in closer to me, pressing her body against mine.
“Don’t focus on next year, Ollie, you’ll drive yourself mad. I’m right here, I'm with you. Focus on that.”
“I keep going over all ways to keep you here, to make you stay.”
She moves even closer to me, cupping both my cheeks with her palms. Then she smiles. But it’s not her ‘I'm happy’ smile. It’s her ‘I know something you don’t’ smile, and it sends a chill right down my spine. “Are you sabotaging my trip to Cali? What are you going to do?” she says. “Fly out and burst all the pipes in the house?”
I go still. Everything in me goes still. I feel my heartbeat in my throat. My stomach churning at the thought of–
She’s laughing.
Mallory is laughing. Full on, chest heaving, knee–slapping, uncontrollably laughing.
“You knew?”
“For a while, babe. I found a toolbox under your bed. I’ve never seen you fix anything in your fucking life. I’d be surprised if you could name a single tool in that box besides a wrench and a hammer. ”
I groan, resting my head in the crook of her neck. “I’m so sorry, I'll pay for the damages, I swear.”
“I’ll let it slide if you tell me why you decided to almost ruin half my apartment.”
Heat creeps up my neck, settling on my cheeks.“It’s silly. You’ll think I'm a child.”
She laughs again. “Oh, I'm counting on it.”
Here goes nothing. “You were getting too close to Gus. I was worried maybe you’d like him more than me. I was terrified I'd lose you. I panicked.”
Her look softens. “Ollie,” she places her forehead against mine. “You never would’ve lost me.”
“So you’re not mad?”
“Oh, I'm mad.” She places a kiss on my cheek. “It just means you’ll have to make it up to me later.”
She moves her hands down my body, frowning when she feels something crinkle in the pocket of my pyjama pants. “What’s this?”
“Another silly thing. Earlier this semester, when I decided I was going to tell you how I was feeling, I decided to write it down. A speech, so I would remember what I wanted to say. I carried it around with me everywhere. I even had it on me the night of Marcus’ party when we kissed. Your speech was better.”
“Why do you still carry it?”
I shrug. “Not sure, I think it reminds me that you would've said yes when I asked you out. I even had it on me when I showed up at My Main Squeeze with flowers. You know, right after we became official? I was going to show you, I just didn’t. Do you want to read it?”
She shakes her head, wrapping her arms around me. “Don’t need to. You already have me.”
A few hours later, I’m standing at the altar with Elliott, Casey and Cam behind me, and Eddie in front of me, trying to calm Frankie down. He’s not nervous like he’s going to bolt, he’s just nervous to see Tilly. He loves her so much, we all know it, and I know after six years of him waiting to propose, my parents are just glad this is almost over.
I am too, but probably for different reasons.
We all stand up straight when we hear the music queued. It’s a classical number. As the doors open, we’re greeted by five bridesmaids in baby pink dresses, waiting patiently for the right queue. And for the first time since I stood up here, I decided to look around the groom's section of the rows.
And that’s when my heart stops.
Sitting in the front row, next to my parents, in a satin olive dress, is the love of my life, boring those beautiful brown eyes right at me, blinking as they sparkle in the light.
I just gape at her. I’m so dumbstruck. I don't want this to be a vision of my imagination. She looks so fucking beautiful. Eddie turns to me for a split second and follows my eyeline. I'm not looking at him, but I know he’s got a shit–eating grin on his face.
“Please tell me you see her too, because if not then I’m going to fucking lose my shit.” I whisper, with as much composure as I can. He doesn’t reply, but instead just slaps me on the shoulders.
The music queues to the right section, and the first bridesmaid starts walking. I know I should focus on the wedding, but I can't take my eyes off her.Mallory crosses her legs, takes my mom's hand in hers, and then she looks at me, mouthing the words I love you. I mouth them back, earning a wink from her, and my lips creep up to a grin.
Somehow during the time I've been staring at her, Tilly enters the room and is standing across from Frankie, begging him to stop crying. I didn’t even notice her walk in. But then again, I tend to do that. I tend to not notice anything and anyone when she’s in the room, because my eyes are always on her.
The wedding has officially started, and I only know this because I can kind of make out words like dearly beloved and to join Franklin Ashby and Matilda Worths and let's hear the vows.
I’m sure the vows are good, tear–worthy even. We’ve all heard Frankie recite this a million times, so I know I'm not missing anything special. Mallory dips her eyes to the bride and groom every now and then but always finds her way back to me. I rake my eyes over every inch of her. I have to put my hands behind my back to stop myself from reaching for her. Her dress is gorgeous, and even from over here, I can make out the faint swell of her nipples through the gathering material. She meets my gaze and smirks. It's her evil, hungry, smirk. She knows where I'm looking. And right as I drag my eyes away from them, she mouths the words no panties.
Oh man, I have to force myself to look away from her. Getting a boner in front of your entire extended family is something I will never live down.
But then seconds go by and I miss her, so I will myself to look at her beautiful face and not look lower.
She mouths that she loves me again, and like a dumb fool, I still gape at her. But then I notice that everyone else is looking at me, because the priest just asked for the rings. Eliott taps my shoulder, waving the ring box in front of me, and I take it and pass it to Eddie, not taking my eyes off my girl – which earned a laugh from everyone watching, but I just smile.
Smile and admire my girl, whose eyes are only on me.
I remove my eyes from her when Eddie dips Tilly, kissing her passionately. Everyone rises from their seats, laughing and cheering. White confetti gets thrown in the air as the music starts up again. Tilly and Frankie are due to leave first, then every bridesmaid is supposed to walk with their opposing groomsman. That’s how we rehearsed it.
Past tense, past today, past me knowing my girlfriend was here, looking so fucking gorgeous. Sarah whispers something to the girl behind her, Tilly’s friend, and she smiles and nods. Then Sarah gives me a quick thumbs up as Frankie and Tilly leave the altar, Sarah and Eddie following, then just me, and not the other girl. I rush down the steps and make a quick detour to Mallory, reaching for her hand. She doesn’t even hesitate to let me pull her up, and as we hastily run down the aisle, I squeeze her hand, making sure this isn’t a dream.
We walk side by side, and she clings to my forearm, squeezing hard.
“Hi,” she whispers hurriedly. “I love you – god you look good in a tux. This is not the tux from earlier. I swear this is a magic tux or something.”
I don’t reply to that, and instead kiss the base of her neck, causing my dick to twitch in my pants. Maybe I shouldn't have done that.
We reach outside and instead of stopping with everyone else, I pull her towards the house. One of the perks of having the wedding Gazebo on the land outside the main house. Everyone’s calling for us – and by us I mean Mallory – but I ignore them, running even faster .
Mallory opens the door and now she’s the one pulling me somewhere, and I let her. We don’t stop until we end up in what I assume is the coat closet. She closes the door and I press her up against it, merging her mouth with mine. She meets my lips with as much intensity as I have, sticking her tongue to coax my lips open, to which I open them immediately. I hoist her up, holding her just under her ass, and she wraps her arms around my neck, moaning when I squeeze her ass, pulling her even closer to me.
“I missed you,” she whispers in between kisses.
“I love you.”
“We can’t kiss for long, you’ll ruin my lipstick.”
“Wear gloss next time, it’s much better for kissing.”
She laughs. “I would get even closer to you,” she says, breaking away from my lips, panting. “But unfortunately, this is not a leg–wrapping dress.”
“I love it either way.” I nuzzle her neck, making her giggle.
“You haven’t even seen it all yet.”
“Any dress that requires no bra and panties, is a good dress. Trust me.”
I kiss her lips one more time before the door quickly flies open.
It’s my dad. He stands there, slouching, one hand braced on his hip. “Could you two join us in the garden please? Now.”
He sounds angry, but I know we both saw the tip of his lips curve up as he walks away, unbuttoning his suit jacket. Against my better judgement, I put Mallory down, but refuse to stop kissing her, even though the door is open and when I crack my eye open slightly, I can see everyone staring at us .
“Oliver Marco Ashby get out here right now,” he says not angrily, but his voice is still raised. “You too, Mallory–”
“Elizabeth.” I shout back. I don’t know if that’s what he was going to say, but I assume so. I slide my hands down Mallorys stomach to hers, and intertwine them.
Together, and again against my judgement, we leave the closet and head outside the house, where everyone is standing. The guests are all mulling about in the reception tent with Tilly and Frankie, which is where we should be right now.
“You know you have lipstick everywhere, right?” Eddie says, pointing to my face and neck.
“Yup.” A pink lipstick, in the shade Brave . Her go–to. Her favourite. The shade of lipstick I keep in the bottom desk drawer. I wish I was joking. I have around twenty sticks in there that I ordered from the manufacturer. The guy I spoke to said they weren’t planning on discontinuing it since it’s such a popular shade, but I didn't want to take any chances. It’s her favourite, and it looks so fucking good on her. It looks even better when it’s wrapped around my cock.
“We know you’re going to steal her away for the rest of the night, so let me get my hug in now.” My mom smiles, heading towards Mallory with open arms, and they embrace each other with open arms.
Looking over at my mom and my girl is a heart–stopping moment. I wish this is what I'm thinking about. It’s not. For the first time, I'm seeing the back of her dress. It’s backless.
And low. So fucking low. The main reason why I guess she couldn’t wear underwear or a bra. I’m assuming it’s still appropriate wedding attire because Tilly has walked over and they’re both gushing over each other’s dresses.
“You’re staring at her ass, aren’t you?” Frankie asks, standing next to me with his hands in his pockets .
“Yep.”
The reception has flown by. We’ve eaten, danced, toasted, and everything in between. Tilly and Frankie are in the middle of what feels like the fifth dance, but couples have now joined them. Mallory keeps asking me to dance, but I keep saying no. Stalling. I requested a song, but I didn’t ask when they would play it, so now I just keep her on my lap, saying that I want her close to me. It was working, but judging by the way she keeps eyeing the dance floor, I don't think I have much time.
The current song comes to an and, and she turns to me, pointing those pink puffy lips at me. She leans in closer, pressing my nose to hers.
“Can we please dance now?” She whispers, placing a quick kiss on my jaw.
My fucking god she smells so good. I guess dancing to more than one song wouldn’t hurt, right?
I smile, letting her pull me up and drag me to the dance floor. I spin her, letting go of her hand to just stand here, staring at her.
How I got a woman like her to love me, I'll never know. But I'll work for the rest of my life to earn it. To earn my love. However long it takes. I hope forever.
I stand a little closer to her, but stop right when the music starts up. The song starts off quiet at first, instrumental, that's why neither one of us knew what it was. Until the lyrics started up.
The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless skies, my love
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Luke Evans.
Mallory’s favourite slow–dance song. The one on her playlist is by someone else, Roberta Flack. But the DJ said he only had this version so I'm praying that she won’t mind. And judging by the way her eyes are glassing, I’m thinking I'm right.
“Get over here,” she says, her voice cracking slightly. I wrap both my arms around her waist, and she wraps hers around my neck.
“Don’t cry Mallie,” I swipe under her eye lightly. “Your makeup is too pretty for you to ruin it.”
“This is my favourite song.”
“I know.”
“You don’t dance. I’ve never seen you dance,” Her words come out almost a whisper. I just pull her closer, letting her head rest against my chest.
“For you, Mallory, I’d do pretty much anything.”
I smooth my hand over her back, covering each freckle with a quick kiss. “Grab the headboard and hold on, baby.”
She smirks at me, doing as I say. I stroke myself a few times, guiding my length into her entrance. She moans my name when I push myself all the way in. Fuck, she feels so good, like home.
We build up a quick rhythm. My hands roam to Mallory’s breasts as I pump into her, quick and hard.
“Ollie!” She screams as I pinch her nipple.
“That’s it baby, scream my name. ”
I pump into her a final time, her name leaving my lips as I spill myself inside her.
We collapse onto the mattress, chests heaving. Mallory stares up at the ceiling, a light sheen of sweat glistening all over her body. She leans over and plants one quick kiss on my lips before she rolls to the side. The other side of my bed. Away from me. I reach out to touch her waist, but she slaps it away. “No touching.”
“Mallie–”
“Nope,” she says. “I’m mad, remember?”
“Well, can you be mad over here, please? The distance is killing me, Mallory.”
I use both my hands to grab her waist, pulling her flush to me. “We’re cuddling, end of story.”
“Or what,” she says, backing into me. “You’ll burst my pipes again?”
“I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
“Not as long as I'm alive.”
“Hey, if you don’t want it to happen again, there are preventative measures you can take.”
She laughs softly. “Oh yeah, like what?”
“Like living with me.”
She whips her head around to face me. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am. Mallory, you’re leaving. Not soon, I know. But it’s happening, and I want as much time with you as I can, while I can." I lean my forehead against hers. “Live with me please,” I whisper.
“I… have to ask Abi.”
“She’ll say yes. I don’t know if you know this, but it is very hard to say no to me. I’m irresistible.”
I’m a creep. A major fucking psycho creep. Mallory has been asleep for an hour, and I've just been staring at her. She’s splayed out, sleeping on her stomach, hair a curly mess, with stray bits everywhere. Her cheeks are still tinged pink slightly, soft snores escaping her parted mouth. The sheet covering her lower half. I trace the outline of her body with my fingers, resting my head on her arm, letting my finger graze over her back, the curve of her ass, over every inch of her that I can reach.
“I love you, Mallory. You’re asleep, so you won’t hear this, but I love you.” I tilt my head up to peer at her, moving my thumb to caress her face. “You’re it for me, baby. I knew it. From the very first time I stepped onto that rink, I knew. I was a coward and couldn’t face it. But I knew one day I would be brave enough to tell you. To tell you this is forever. You and me, Mallory. I don't care what we do or where we do it. You and me, together for the rest of our lives. And one day, in the near, but also distant future because both our parents will murder us,” I plant a small kiss on her shoulder, lingering there for a moment before I whisper,“Graduation, Mallie. I’m going to ask you to marry me. And I really hope you’ll say yes.”