Chapter 4 #2
“Look who’s alive,” Marcus—or was it Lucas?
—said, a wide, wicked smile spreading across his face when he saw Kai sitting at the island.
Kai’s embarrassment returned in full force, colouring his face red again.
Katie let out a surprised squeak and hid behind Nolan’s brother, Chris, casting shy glances around him at Kai.
Last night, she’d been dressed in the tiniest lace bodysuit, with little ruffles edging the high-cut legs and showing off every inch of her tight, little body.
Today, she was wearing a vintage-style, lilac floral dress that cinched her waist and flared into a wide skirt that ended a few inches above her knees.
Her long, honey-blond waves were held away from her face with a white headband topped with a floppy bow.
She looked like Alice in fucking Wonderland.
“Glad you survived, man,” the man not holding the cheesecake said with a grin, clasping Kai’s hand and pulling him in for a one-armed hug. The other followed suit before kissing Dion’s proffered cheek.
“You remember everyone?” Nolan asked before pointing and naming each of them in turn with his spatula.
Lucas was the wicked-looking one, clean cut with dark brown hair, hot enough that he could be a model, but looked like he would be down to start some shit for giggles.
Marcus was softer: warm, golden-brown eyes that matched his caramel-coloured hair and a playful smile that won Kai over immediately.
Chris was a different matter altogether.
He knew, from Liam’s research, that Chris and Nolan were half-brothers, and they had inherited their strong jaw, high cheekbones and all of their six-plus feet from their father.
They looked a lot alike, except that Nolan had some melanin from his West Indian mother mixed in, and he was wrapped in thick cords of muscle that definitely came from time spent in a gym.
Chris shook Kai’s hand with a strong grip and, even though his smile was kind enough, there was a look in his eye that told Kai it would be a mistake to cross him.
“Grab your plates. Someone grab the syrup and the berries from the fridge,” Nolan called out, adding to the enormous stack of pancakes he had going.
“Whipped cream?” Katie asked hopefully.
“Of course, baby girl,” Nolan answered.
“I’m gonna go. I don’t want to intrude. Could you let me know where my cellphone is?” Kai asked, getting to his feet, a little awkward.
“You’re not intruding. Grab a plate,” Nolan said firmly, staring him down in a way that brooked no opposition.
Kai froze. No part of him actually wanted to leave.
He wanted to lap up all the time he could get with Nolan and weasel himself closer.
Eat platefuls of hot, fresh food until he was gorged.
Possibly fuck with Dion and get under his skin a bit.
But the tiny bit of propriety he still had from time spent with his grandmother insisted he didn’t belong there.
Nolan took the matter out of his hands, snapping his fingers at Marcus, who handed him a plate. Nolan stacked five thick pancakes onto it and held it out to Kai.
“Grab your eggs and bacon and get to the table.”
Bossy. Kai didn’t hate it. In fact, he opposite of hated it as his imagination took a little trip to those sexy rules he still wanted to know about.
Shit, this wasn’t the time to be turned on.
Marcus took the lapse in his attention to deposit a massive scoop of scrambled eggs and bacon onto his plate, and then he was ushered to the table and deposited directly across from Dion, who glared at him.
He was clearly already under the other man’s skin, and he hadn’t even gotten properly started.
Marcus and Lucas sat beside him on his left, and across the way, Chris was cutting Katie’s pancakes into bite-size pieces while she negotiated for extra whipped cream.
Nolan was the last to get there, and he topped up Kai’s coffee without asking before taking the seat to his right, at the head of the table.
“Grace!” Dion called, and the table fell silent as everyone took their neighbours’ hands, and bowed their heads.
Kai stopped chewing on the bacon in his mouth but hesitantly slid his hands into Marcus’ and Nolan’s.
He glanced around, mildly weirded out, but was quickly distracted by Nolan’s grip and the lazy circle he drew on the back of Kai’s hand with his thumb.
A shiver of awareness shot straight to his dick, chubbing it up against his thigh.
He really needed to get his attraction to this guy under control.
“For the meal we are about to eat, for those that made it possible, and for those with whom we are about to share it, we are thankful,” Dion recited with closed eyes.
There was a chorus of “amens,” and the noise kicked up again.
Marcus pulled his hand from Kai’s, but Nolan didn’t immediately release his hold.
Kai looked towards him. A small smile played on his mouth as he shot Kai a flirtatious wink.
Kai flushed, embarrassed but pleased. He glanced up to meet Dion’s cold glare before dropping Nolan’s hand and reaching for whipped cream, syrup and berries.
When there was a mountain of food on his plate, Kai dove in.
“Jesus Christ, that’s good!” Kai all but shouted around a perfect bite of pancakes with all of the toppings.
The table roared with laughter, and Katie giggled behind her hands.
Nolan chuckled silently, eyes warm with humour.
Kai wasn’t even sorry. He shovelled more of it into his face, the noise and general camaraderie of the crowd turning into a comforting hum.
A few more bites, though, and his body went from eager and relaxed to tight, his chest constricting, emotion clawing its way up his throat, stinging his nose and eyes.
What the fuck? Was he about to cry? Over pancakes?
He dipped his head, letting his hair fall forward, stabbing at some bacon and eggs while he surreptitiously tried to get himself back in order, but it was no use.
To his horror, a tear dropped down, splashing onto the edge of his plate.
Of course Nolan noticed, a gentle hand tilting his head up.
Kai gave the tiniest, frantic shake of his head, begging him not to draw attention as more tears slipped from his eyes.
He could feel Dion’s gaze on him already.
“Bathroom,” he muttered, his voice choked, and then he jerked out of Nolan’s grasp, rushing away from the table.
In the bathroom, he splashed cold water on his face, drawing in shallow, shuddering breaths.
He caught his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were red-rimmed, and he still felt shaken from the unexpected rush of emotions.
He took a couple of deep breaths as he got himself under control, but fresh embarrassment crowded in.
Why the hell did he keep acting like an ass in front of Nolan?
He needed to get it together, and he needed to do it quick, or Nolan would likely come looking for him.
He jerked the door open and returned to the kitchen before that could happen.
Chris had cleaned his plate, but Marcus and Lucas looked like they were in the middle of seconds.
Kai refused to look Nolan’s way, but he could feel his eyes on him as he approached the table.
He said nothing as Kai slipped back into his seat and grabbed his fork again.
Kai tuned out the conversation around him, trapped in his own head.
He’d been in a weird headspace for months, years maybe, but these days, the games that he and Liam played had lost everything that had once made them bearable.
Finding a mark, seeing who could squeeze the most out of them.
They’d had to make it a game or else they’d have to face the truth: they were just two little assholes lying, stealing and manipulating any poor sucker who had the misfortune to come across them.
Selling their souls and their bodies to keep some type of roof over their heads and food on the table.
Not just for them, but for the small family they’d somehow managed to gather over the last eight years.
Kai had people he cared about even as he’d gone numb to the rest of the world.
He wasn’t numb to Nolan though. Nolan was the first spark of something that Kai had felt in a long time.
The first time in a long time that another person’s touch didn’t make his skin crawl.
Kai wanted to lean into that feeling just for a little while.
He knew he’d never get the chance to keep Nolan, and that knowledge made him want to take everything he could get until he was forced to give it up.
“Girl, why don’t you show Kai the toy chest while we clean up?
” Nolan’s voice pierced through his brain fog just as Kai was scraping the last bits of syrup and whipped cream off of his plate.
He glanced down the table and found Katie watching him cautiously.
Kai wasn’t sure what to make of her just yet.
God knew his Daddy kink ran as deep as the Mariana Trench, but he’d never actually met anyone into age play before.
No one had come out and actually said it, but he was pretty sure Katie was a little.
Still, there was something shrewd in the way that she watched him when she thought he wasn’t looking.
Like she was taking his measure in her own way.
“What kind of toys does Kai like to play with?” she asked, still assessing him.
“I never really played with toys. What’ve you got?” he asked.
“All sorts,” she breathed, wide-eyed.
Katie’s toy chest was a wild, NSFW ride, and she vibrated with excitement as she kneeled in front of it to show him her treasures.
She had a stack of colouring books, ranging from Disney princess to Shibari-inspired, every type of marker and crayon, Matchbox cars his six-year-old self would have killed for and an array of Barbie and Ken dolls dressed in everything from ballgowns to fetish gear.
Katie’s face was gleeful as she pulled out a pastel Lego set that she had made into a rudimentary spanking bench with a raised platform and four lower platforms with a nude Ken tied artistically but awkwardly to it.
A dominatrix Barbie in thigh-high, leopard-print boots and a fishnet bodysuit stood behind him, wielding what looked like a tiny black microphone.
“Gloria is a pleasure dom. That’s not a microphone, it’s a personal massager, see?” Katie made a vibrating noise and then giggled, covering her mouth with her free hand. “You have to use your imagination.”
“I don’t know how to use my imagination. I think it’s broken,” Kai said skeptically, picking up a Ken doll and inspecting it from all sides.
“I can teach you,” she said earnestly nodding, eyebrows raised as she waited for Kai to agree.
What the hell? He had some time. Kai shrugged and nodded, and she was off, crafting an elaborate story as she moved cars and dolls into place, shuffling around on her knees as she directed Kai, creating her own dialogue for each character.
Kai watched her, fascinated. She was so deep in her headspace, Kai wondered what it was like there.
“Why do you like this stuff, Katie?” he asked quietly, curiously.
“Huh?” Katie looked up at him, momentarily disoriented as she shifted her focus.
“Why do you like being little?”
Katie shrank away from him, and the wariness in her eyes made him want to reassure her that he wasn’t judging.
“Why do you like being big?” she asked carefully.
“Oh trust me, I hate being big.” Kai grinned.
“I think you just answered your question. I’m big sometimes.
At school and outside, but I don’t have to be big with family.
” She went back to what she was doing but now a little more reserved.
Kai immediately regretted bringing it up.
It was clear that she was sensitive about her lifestyle.
Or maybe she’d already been exposed to other people’s judgement.
“I think it’s cool. Maybe if you tell me what you like about it, I could do it too.” It wasn’t really a lie. While Kai had no desire to run around talking like a six-year-old, he had to admit that there was something carefree about Katie that made him a little envious.
“You want to be little?” Her eyes were wide, eyebrows shooting for her hairline, expression hopeful.
“I don’t know. Maybe? Can you tell me about it?”
“I like that I get to play with toys and colours. I like that Daddy takes care of me and that I can forget about all of the things that worry me when I’m big, like school and climate change and what I’m going to be when I’m grown up. Daddy takes care of everything, and I just have to be Girl.”
Damn. That sounded like a great deal. Kai’s eyes darted towards the kitchen, where the other men were chatting and laughing loudly.
Nolan stood near the entrance to the living room, and he chuckled at something one of the other guys said even as his gaze collided with Kai’s.
His eyes were warm, amused even, as he watched them with interest. Katie’s words stirred something like yearning deep in Kai’s belly.
It was easy to cast Nolan into that Daddy role, Kai as his boy.
The way Nolan had shown him care in the short time they’d been together made it so easy to play out that scene in his head.
He wanted to shake it away. He reminded himself he wasn’t here to stay, and building an elaborate fantasy where Nolan kept him, took care of him, dealt with all of the things that worried him, would only lead to disappointment, and he didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with much more of that.
He looked back at Katie, but he couldn’t bring himself to kill the hope in her eyes.
What was the worst that could happen? He grinned at her and watched her visibly settle, shoulders dropping and a happy smile playing around her lips.
She looked like she’d made a decision about him.
He’d made a decision about her too. Katie was harmless, innocent, his complete, polar opposite.
She was sweet and Kai wasn’t used to sweet, but looking at her he felt a hollow kind of want, like he needed to bask in her glow for a minute.
Like being around her might be purifying.
Katie scooted closer and cupped his face in both of her hands, vibrant blue eyes peering into his earnestly, their noses barely an inch apart.
“I’m gonna teach you how to be little.”