Chapter 24 #2
And he would. It wasn’t lost on him that Kai, who had never shown any desire to brat in a significant way, had chosen the evening before Nolan was to drive him home for the first time to decide to try his hand.
He was determined to win this battle of wills, because he knew a lot more was riding on it than at face value.
“Can I help you with something?” Nolan asked, walking into the room to see Kai on Nolan’s phone.
“I want to watch a movie.”
Nolan raised his eyebrows at him, and this time Kai’s shoulders drooped. It was the first sign of defeat.
“Will you please watch a movie with me, Daddy?”
“Sure, baby, why don’t you put something on for us.
” Nolan took a seat on the couch, leaving some space between them as How to Train Your Dragon appeared on the screen.
Nolan tried not to show amusement at the choice, or at the slick way Kai inched closer until he was pressed into Nolan’s side.
After a moment, Nolan lifted his arm and draped it around his shoulders without saying anything.
Kai immediately fell against him as though he’d expected to be rejected.
Nolan was fairly sure this was it. This was the moment that Kai either remembered that he preferred to be a good boy or he would double down on his brat, so he said nothing.
He wasn’t going to make it easy on him or pretend that all was forgiven, but he wanted him just a little incentivized.
They sat in a silent stalemate.
Nolan felt the exact moment that Kai gave in, when he slumped low and then got to his feet.
“Where are you going, sweetheart?”
Kai froze, and then cast him a wary glance. “I forgot to put my clothes in the hamper.”
“Okay. Did you want me to pause the movie?”
“Yes, please.” Nolan paused the movie, calling out to Kai just as he was leaving the room.
“Hey, if you happen to find my good boy upstairs, can you ask him if there’s anything he needs to talk to his Daddy about?”
Fifteen minutes later, Kai sat on the ground packing all of his Lego back into the toy chest while Nolan waited patiently.
He didn’t have to check to know that Kai had gone to finish all of his tasks, and Nolan could barely contain his pleasure.
He wasn’t going to celebrate his victory prematurely, however, because there was still a conversation that needed to be had.
When he was done, Kai came and stood in front of Nolan looking unsure of what to do next.
“On your knees,” Nolan told him. “Hands behind your back.”
Kai did what he was told, his face the picture of sadness and regret.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Did you not have fun with your brat?”
“No,” Kai answered with a shadow of rebellion. Nolan raised his eyebrows at him. “No, Daddy,” he corrected.
“I didn’t either. That was not how I hoped to spend our last evening together.” Nolan didn’t raise his voice, but Kai shrank from the scolding.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Kai whispered.
Nolan looked down at Kai, trying not to let his frustration get the better of him. He knew that the only way to get Kai to start opening up was to keep putting in the work. “Is there something that you would like to talk about?”
“Maybe I’ve been a little worried.” Nolan waited for him to elaborate. “Liam knows all of the bad stuff I’ve done. From before,” he clarified.
“You’re going to need to use more words, Kai.”
“I don’t want you to know bad things about me,” he said stubbornly.
Nolan nodded thoughtfully, choosing his words carefully. “And so you thought the best way to communicate that would be acting out?”
“Maybe I just wanted to know what you would do,” Kai muttered.
“And what did you learn?”
“I… I don’t know.” Kai looked at him, confused.
“You do know. Tell me what you learned,” Nolan pressed mercilessly.
“You won’t get angry with me when I’m bad?”
“What else?”
“You’ll still care for me when I’m bad?” Nolan leaned forward and braced his arms on his knees, hands clasped in front of him, so that he was dead in Kai’s face.
“Baby, I already told you that I’m not going to judge you on what you had to do to get by.
If you want to keep your secrets, I am willing to let you have them for as long as they do not negatively impact this relationship.
As soon as I feel like they’re a problem, you’ll be exactly where you are right now, confessing every last one of them to me.
I don’t give a fuck about Liam, and there’s not a single thing that he could say that would have any bearing on my feelings for you. Is that clear?”
Kai nodded at him, wide-eyed. “Yes, Daddy.”
“You understand that I care about you very deeply, don’t you?”
“Yes, Daddy,” Kai whispered. “I care about you too.”
Nolan leaned back and shook his head as he took him in.
“Baby, I keep waiting for you to realize that you can just talk to me when there’s something on your mind.”
“I am. I will. I just… I’ve never had that. Can you please be patient with me? I’ll figure it out.”
Nolan combed his fingers through Kai’s hair. “We’ll figure it out together. I’m going to keep showing that can trust me until you learn it in your bones.”
“I do trust you.”
“I believe you. I also believe there’s trust that you build with time. But we have lots of that coming our way. I’m not worried.” He held out his hands to Kai and pulled him up onto his lap.
“Do you feel better?”
“Yes.”
“Is there anything else you need to talk about tonight?”
“No, Daddy.”
“Good. Then we can talk about your punishment now.”