Chapter 26
“How did you know when you were first in love?” Kai asked Katie as they floated in the shallows of the pool, watching chaos unfold.
It was a question that had been occupying space in Kai’s head since his night out with Liam.
He kept turning it over in his mind like a Rubik’s cube.
Kai had never ever been in love before and hadn’t actually believed that his fucked-up karma would let it happen for him, but the way he felt about Nolan was also unlike anything he’d ever experienced and he was getting kind of desperate to put a name to it.
He’d spent yesterday in a state of anxious anticipation, half distracted, testing the seemingly endless patience of even Matteo until Nolan finally showed up at the end of the day.
Kai had melted into his arms like everything was finally right in the world.
The rush of affection that Kai had experienced had been overwhelming to the point of physical pain.
To no one’s surprise, Kai had refused to let Nolan have a moment of peace by himself for the rest of the night.
It was Saturday now, and true to his word, Nolan had arranged to have all of the boys over.
Kai had conveniently not said anything to Liam and he’d, also conveniently, disappeared for the weekend.
Did he feel bad about it? Yeah. Really bad.
Liam was definitely going to be in his feelings from missing out on today, whether he had plans or not.
Kai also knew that every time he lucked out on not having Liam and Nolan interact, he was just delaying the inevitable.
If he wanted this thing with Nolan to be a forever situation—and he so, so, did—he would have to suck it up and find some way to fuse both parts of his life together sooner rather than later, or Liam would do it for him.
As they watched, Justin launched Callum into the deep end, sending a cascade of water over Casey, Marcus and Lucas.
Chris was apparently working, and Nolan and Dion were manning the grill.
It wasn’t the first time they’d seen each other since their conversation at the gala, but there seemed to be an unspoken agreement not to mention it ever again, which Kai was perfectly fine with.
Katie squealed, and Kai hushed her. She squealed at a lower decibel to appease him.
“Are you in love with Uncle Nolan?” Katie wasn’t in her little headspace today with so many new people around, but since they were having a private conversation, she seemed comfortable using Nolan’s unofficial title.
“Shhh! Tell me how you knew!”
Katie made a big show of thinking about it before answering.
“Well, it was different each time. At first, I was with Lucas and he was such a dick to everyone but he always tried with me. I think Lucas was probably the first person to really see me. Like not the version of me that was trying to be a good daughter and a good student and a climate activist. I think that’s why I first fell in love with him.
Because he wanted the messy version of me that didn’t have it all figured out and I always felt safe with him to be that way. And Marcus?”
They looked over at where Casey was now clambering up onto Marcus’ shoulders, while Callum did the same to Jason, both boys shouting and laughing as they tried to pull each other off of their mounts.
“Well, he’s just sweet and attentive and gentle.
How could I not love him? And then with Chris, I just love how he takes control and I can trust him to take care of everything.
It’s strange. Now that I think of it, I think I knew I was in love when I realised that I was safe with each of them.
They made me want to be the most authentic version of myself and I wanted that for them to.
They make me happy and I like making them happy.
I used to get scared that I’d never accomplish all of the things I want to accomplish, but now I think if I only accomplish some things and we all get to be old and wrinkly and have six million happy memories and orgasms, I think that’ll be okay too, you know? ”
Casey won the battle, both he and Marcus cheering loudly as Callum and Justin went under with a scream and a splash.
Kai thought about her words, and they spoke to him clear as day.
No one ever made Kai feel safe the way he did with Nolan, and while he loved it when Nolan took care of him, he also loved taking care of him and doing whatever he could to make him happy.
The realization that he loved Nolan didn’t hit him like a ton of bricks; it settled on him comfortably like the weight of Nolan at the end of the day, when he wrapped him up in his arms and pulled his heavy duvet over their shoulders.
He loved Nolan. Kai’s gaze settled on him where he was flipping burgers at the grill, and the smile that spread across his face was equal parts possessive and euphoric.
As if sensing him watching, Nolan looked over and winked at him. Katie squealed quietly again.
“Are you going to tell him?” she whisper-shrieked.
“Yeah, I’m gonna tell him. Wait. Do you think it’s too soon?” Kai asked, suddenly worried.
“No! No way. Sometimes you just know. You totally need to tell him.”
“What if I say it and he doesn’t say it back?” His stomach twisted with sudden anxiety.
Katie gurgled a laugh like she’d just heard something ridiculous. “Uncle Nolan has been moon-eyed over you since day one. I’m pretty sure he’s just biding his time so that he can move you in here permanently. If you guys get married, can I be your maid of honour?” she asked excitedly.
Kai went from alarmed to amused as the idea of marrying Nolan took hold. Did Nolan even believe in marriage? Kai had never thought he’d be a husband to anyone, but the idea of being Nolan’s husband made his heart squeeze tight with yearning.
“You probably have to fight Jason for that.”
“I could take him,” she muttered, giving the competition a beady once-over. Kai shook his head and got to his feet.
“You want another drink?” he asked.
“Yes, please! Blue Kool-Aid, please!” she said, handing him her cup. Kai picked up his own and meandered over to the barbecue. Nolan automatically wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing a kiss to his temple.
“You good?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna run and grab some more drinks. You want anything?”
“I’m good, baby. Actually, grab me the burger buns on your way back. I think we’re about done here.”
“Oh no, Kai’s hands are going to be full. I’ll get them,” Dion interrupted. “I’ll bring out the salads at the same time.”
Kai did everything in his power not to roll his eyes, and he was pretty sure Nolan knew it because he sent him on his way with a slap on the ass.
They walked into the house in awkward silence, and Kai beelined for the fridge, pulling out jugs of blue-raspberry Kool-Aid and fruit punch and setting them on the counter before taking out the salads that Dion needed.
“I want you to know that you were right.”
Kai froze as Dion’s haughty voice came from behind him. How was it possible for someone to sound like such a snob while admitting to being wrong?
“Oh yeah? About what?” Kai turned to lean on the counter, crossing his arms, curious to see what Dion looked like when he humbled himself.
“About Marilise being a bitch and me being a… not good friend to Katie.”
“I think I said dick,” Kai corrected.
Dion straightened up and rolled his eyes, exasperated but seemingly resigned to the fact that Kai was not going to make this easy for him.
“Yes, well, you were right.”
“Why do you do it?”
“That’s…” Dion hesitated like he didn’t know how to answer and then finished with, “None of your business.”
Kai shrugged and turned back to his task. He’d meant to just fill their glasses but since they were about to eat it probably made more sense to take the jugs out with them.
“It’s just that it’s easier to live along with them even if they can be… difficult. And as someone who doesn’t quite conform, so to speak, I’ve had to work very hard to get where I am today.”
“Listen, man, it sounds like you have your reasons for what you do and I guess you’re right. You don’t have to justify shit to me. Just know Katie is my friend, and I will fuck with anyone who fucks with her.” Kai stared him down while Dion sized him up.
“I’m glad to hear it. Katie deserves a friend like you. And, for the record, you called me a fucking dick.”
They both smirked but relaxed. It felt like a truce and the terms had been laid out. Dion stacked the salad bowls on top of each other and topped the pile with the buns while Kai gathered up the jugs and the glasses. They were just turning the corner when the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it,” Kai said, shifting everything into his left hand while he hurried to the door. He grinned widely when he opened it and Matteo was on the other side, holding a casserole dish and a grocery bag.
“You made it! That’s awesome, man! I think we’re just about to eat.” Kai pulled him in for a bro hug.
“Perfect. I brought-seven layer dip. Made it myself.”
“Nice!” Kai answered, but Matteo’s attention caught on something behind Kai.
He turned to see that Dion had come up behind him.
“Oh hey, this is Dion, Nolan’s neighbour.
Dion, this is my boss, Matteo.” Matteo’s gaze fixed on Dion’s face as Dion gave him a very slow once-over.
It was clear that he liked what he saw, and Kai was seriously creeped out by the energy charging between the two of them.
“Nice to meet you,” Dion murmured, holding out a graceful hand. Matteo took it, raising it to his lips deliberately. The smirk that Dion gave him was pleased but sly.