Chapter 16 The Song of Distraction
SIXTEEN
THE SONG OF DISTRACTION
SEBASTIAN
My dad’s truck shook when I shut the passenger door a little too hard.
I pressed my forehead against the cool window, averting my gaze as Alex climbed into the driver’s seat and buckled up.
The lingering smell of wood reminded me of my dad more than I would have liked.
I still remember when he bought the truck eight years ago.
He took me to the dealership and made me go through all the paperwork so I would know what to expect if I ever wanted to buy a car.
Now, sitting in that same truck next to the guy I had a major crush on—whom I had just fought with for the first time, to the point that I was ready to shout, just like I did with my dad so often—was a little too much to process.
Instead of using our inspiration from going downtown to write something new, as we had planned, we spent hours on the same song we had been working on when his friends interrupted us.
Alex wanted to redo his vocal parts over and over again, even though there was nothing wrong with his third take.
Maybe I was a little too impatient with him, but I needed to say something.
Too much perfectionism wouldn’t help us at this stage.
But when I spoke up, we quickly got our wires crossed, and things got heated.
He actually raised his voice, but before I could start screaming, we decided to call it a night.
“I’m sorry for lashing out at you,” Alex said as we rolled down the hill.
“You’re just being passionate and want to do things right,” I replied, still a bit too sharply.
“I get it.” His perfectionism might be what makes his songs so great.
“I’m sorry, too, for not taking your criticism seriously enough.
It’s okay that you want to make it the best it can be. I mean, I want it to be perfect, too.”
He obeyed the stop sign at the end of the road.
Instead of looking out for other cars, though, his gaze wandered to me.
“The truth always lies in the middle.” Without any further explanation, he turned the corner.
“I’m okay with you sending it to your friend for some outside feedback, if you still want to do that. ”
“You sure?”
About thirty minutes ago, I had suggested we send the demo to some people who weren’t involved. Nora and Raul offered it, and given how they had gotten into a whole fight about it the last time, they were a pretty well-balanced duo to give us feedback.
“Because if you mean it, I’m sending it to them right now so we can get back to work in the morning.”
“Do it.”
“Really?”
He had been so against it before we left that I couldn’t quite fathom where his change of heart came from. I pulled out my phone, navigated to the Files tab, where I had saved the demo, and opened the menu.
“Because I’m sending it now.”
“Yes, send it.”
“Are you—”
“Do you need me to screw you in the backseat before you believe me when I say I’m okay with it?”
“That’s not a good threat, you know.” I laughed and sent the file. “I also want to let you know it’s too late for backsies now. But I’m fine if you still want to take advantage of my ass.”
We drove in silence for half a minute. Teasing him like that felt normal.
When we first met, it had been the only way I could deal with someone so similar to me living in my old room.
Although my understanding of the situation had changed, the teasing remained.
I loved how he looked at me when I said something like that, and how he tried to keep his breathing steady while his thoughts clearly somersaulted in search of a comeback.
After arguing with him, though, it felt different now.
“Sorry if I’m teasing you too much,” I said.
His fingers slid down the steering wheel, gripping it near the bottom. “Where’s this coming from?”
“I don’t know.” I curled up in the seat. “I guess, I want you to know I wish things hadn’t gotten out of hand like this.”
“I’m the one who yelled at you.”
“But I’m the one who criticized you first.”
“Which might’ve been the right thing to do. You weren’t wrong. I was overly critical of my own voice, and it was good to tell me.”
“Still, I don’t want us to fight.” I already had enough people I fought with too often.
“I’m not upset about it, if that’s what you’re thinking. In fact, I’m glad it happened. Because I know now you won’t just say yes and amen to everything I want. It probably sounds stupid, but that’s something I like about you.”
“You do?” I rubbed my hands over my knees. “I mean, I can fight with you more often, if that’s what you want.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Alex chuckled.
“Eyes on the road!” I yelled, chuckling too. “Hands at nine and three o’clock! Why didn’t you call me? You’re seeing someone else behind my back, aren’t you!”
“You’re stupid. As if there were other people in Seastone I could date behind your back.”
“We’d have to be boyfriends first for that to happen anyway.” The words left my mouth before I realized what I had said.
Alex slowed down, his head snapping back before he focused on the street again. He swallowed a few times, while I buried myself in the seat.
“Do you think we should be boyfriends?” Alex asked.
I had to admit that I had wondered about it before.
Despite the many reasons against it, I couldn’t deny that I liked him a lot.
Taking that step could make things easier in the future.
It would make coming out to my parents less difficult.
It would allow us to discuss where life could take us once I get my degree.
Heck, I wouldn’t even need to make up more excuses to visit Seastone again soon.
“I don’t know,” I eventually said in response to his question.
“I don’t know either.”
Time seemed to stand still as the landscape rushed past us. The truck’s headlights lit up the trees and the scattered houses nestled among them, but it all blurred into streaks at the edges of my vision.
“We don’t have to talk about it,” Alex said. “It was a stupid question anyway.”
“No, not at all.” I leaned back in the seat. “We can’t sneak around forever. And I’d definitely count myself lucky if I could call you my boyfriend.”
“You would?”
“Yeah? If I haven’t told you yet, you’re pretty awesome.”
“Am I?”
“Of course.” I folded my hands and stared at them.
“You’re so easy to talk to. You’re talented, cute, and just the right amount of kinky.
You helped me build a better relationship with my parents.
I’ve hated that we live so far apart basically since the day we met—which I think is a pretty good sign that I like being around you.
So, yeah, I’d be super lucky if I could call you my boyfriend. ”
He pressed his lips together, trying to hide his smile. “Maybe… we should do it, then. Because I feel the same way about you.”
“You mean it?”
“How about we use tonight as a trial run? My friends think we’re already together anyway. This way, we can see how it feels.”
“A trial run? In front of your friends? Wouldn’t that be hard on you if it didn’t work out?”
“No.” Alex grinned. “If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just tell them about what an asshole you are and write an album about our breakup, become famous, and make millions.”
“That sounds about right. You could definitely pull that off.”
“Although I hope it doesn’t end like that.”
“Oh, me neither.”
I looked straight at him. His eyes stayed focused on the road. His legs trembled slightly, but the corners of his mouth turned up. I put my hand on his knee.
“Am I allowed to do that now? As my first official boyfriend duty?”
“You are,” he said, with a smile finally breaking free. “Do I have to call you a cute nickname now? Babe? Lovebug? Tater tot?”
“Anything but ‘tater tot,’ tater tot.”
We both chuckled. My hand stayed on his knee as I hoped we’d arrive soon, so I could touch him more without risking him driving us into a tree because I was distracting him too much.
“Maybe we should fight more often, if that’s the result,” I said. “Think about it. If you ever want me to propose, all you have to do is start an argument with me. I clearly love arguing.”
“Noted,” Alex replied, laughing.
We drove past the old gas station and turned right onto a street marked as a dead end.
“Isn’t this the road to the closed hotel?” I asked, turning my head as we passed the sign, as if the back of it could confirm it.
“Yup.”
The winding road beneath the towering trees was famous. It wasn’t like I came here often when the hotel was still open, but since it had a decent restaurant, it was where our family held reunions until it closed.
The building at the end of the road had scaffolding all around it. A container full of construction materials stood beside the cul-de-sac leading to the main entrance. Now, it made sense why Nicholas said they had built a spa. But good luck opening a hotel in this dead town.
We parked behind a gray minivan, and the moment Alex turned off the engine, I kissed him—a short but heated kiss to show him how much I liked how our evening was shaping up.
As we made our way toward the main entrance, I grabbed Alex’s hand. He glanced at it, slowing his pace.
“Trial boyfriends can hold hands,” I explained.
“True,” he replied, rearranging his fingers to hold mine back. “Does that mean I can also tell my friends about our music? If we’re going full boyfriend mode?”
“Of course. It’s not like we can keep that a secret for long anyway.”
The glass double doors opened, and a guy as tall as the frame with short brown hair appeared in the doorway, whom I recognized as Nicholas on my second glance. He was already wearing bathing shorts with palm trees printed on them and a loose white shirt.
“Welcome, welcome! You’re the first to arrive.” He beamed at us like a proud dad about to meet his son’s boyfriend for the first time. His eyes flicked to our joined hands. “Nice to see you again, Sebastian.”
“Nice to see you again, too.”