CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
MATTEO
May
Some of the furniture was still covered in white sheets, reminding me of lonely ghosts shedding their unfinished business after discovering the light.
As I played, I stared at the silver frame preserving my Grandmother and Grandfather’s anniversary photo, their smiles radiant.
They’d had real love, the kind that lasted beyond death. The kind I always dreamed I might find.
This is for you, Nana.
I wished she were here to listen to me play, and I hoped she knew I was going to be okay.
I swore, I could feel her sitting next to me, her small frame containing a big spirit.
Maybe Heaven was a real place , a space between the spaces that my music could reach.
I moved my hands across the keyboard, every note tapping my heart.
This was where I was supposed to be, and all the years of hardship and pain ceased to matter.
It was mind-blowing to me how quickly time could go by.
It was exactly two months from the day of the hearing.
A week later, I’d gotten word the judge had ruled in my favor.
Waiting for my birthday had been a slow and anxious process.
All I could think about was the bullshit my father might pull at the last minute.
But Sean had showered me with love and a surprise Birthday outing that made me feel special.
My father refused to go down without one last bitter swing.
It took three weeks from the day of my birthday to receive the keys to my grandmother’s house because he had the locks changed.
Mr. Salvatore had to do some legal stuff to force him to hand over the keys.
It was my father’s last act of defiance.
Nothing I’d said to him that day at the hearing had penetrated his hard and dead shell.
Mr. Salvatore had suggested taking legal action against my parents, but I’d turned it down. I wanted to move on. Let them live their miserable lives that were devoid of love, music, and happiness.
I was finally free. I was twenty-one now and the money was in my bank account. I had the keys to the house Nana left me and her grand piano at my fingertips.
And I had Sean. He was the most surprising part of everything life had thrown me. Like a wrench tossed into a machine just to see what would happen, only it made everything function better.
He’d accompanied me last night as I walked into my grandmother’s house for the first time in years.
He’d stayed and I’d played a few songs for him.
We’d had sex in my old bed. And I’d awoken next to him, naked, the sense of rightness clearer than ever before.
As if everything I’d endured was supposed to happen in order to lead me to where I was.
I zoned out on the still keys, some of the more used ones slightly worn from use. They would need to be refinished soon. All the wear and tear was a reminder of the music I’d shared with Nana.
Strong arms enveloped me, and I bumped my head against Sean as he kissed the top of my hair.
“It’s kinda nice waking up to such heavenly music,” he teased. “I should keep you around more often.”
“Uh huh. You’re the one that’s supposed to pamper me in the morning. I’m the breadwinner now.”
He chuckled and straddled the piano bench like a horse.
He was gorgeous with bedhead and a satisfied look in his eyes that stemmed from a good fuck.
I ran my fingers through his soft beard, appreciating everything about him.
I wished I could express in music what he meant to me, but I wasn’t sure such a piece had been written yet. Maybe I’d be the one to compose it.
I tugged him into a chaste kiss, scenting fresh toothpaste. He gave life to this place, as if I weren’t the only one living here. I liked the idea of sharing my grandmother’s house with him.
“I have a bone to pick with you,” he rumbled.
He was trying to be serious, but a smile was permanently curled over his lips.
“Before we left yesterday, I grabbed my mail and before I could open it, you molested me. I got around to opening it just now and it seems I have an investment account with a million bucks in it that I knew nothing about.”
“I asked my lawyer to set it up for you,” I said.
He stroked his beard for a moment. “I’m not comfortable with you giving me this kind of money.”
I turned to face him. “You haven’t asked how much I inherited. Why?”
I expected him to say something like: It’s none of my business. But we were closer now, weren’t we? More than friends. Instead, he said with a little smirk, “Because it doesn’t matter. Whether you’re broke or loaded, you’re still my brat.”
I bit my lip to keep from smiling like the happiest person in the world. “You’ve done so much for me. Let me do this for you, please? And I want you to know it's a drop in the bucket.”
“Wait, I get it now. You’re trying to buy blowjobs because I give the best head.”
“Oh shut up, Pooh Bear,” I growled and slapped his shoulder. “As if I need to buy sexual favors. I could have any guy I want. Just look at me.”
He pulled me into his kiss, stealing my words and I melted into him. He made a purr-like sound. “Yet you chose me.”
“I like having you around,” I said against his mouth.
“For as long as you want me here,” he started and took my hand. He kissed my knuckles. “I will be.”
I frowned, words falling on my mental page like music notes.
“For as long as I want you here? You’re my snow on Christmas morning in a big city.
No matter how many pieces I perfect, none are as beautiful as your laugh.
You’re not the cherry on top of my sundae, you’re the three scoops of ice cream and everything else is just extra.
I love you and want you around forever.”
It was surprising to me just how easy it was to say the words. I’d been muzzled for so long I was sure I could have never expressed my feelings so easily.
A smile ticked at his lips, his eyes shining with tears. His tone was rough when he spoke. “So, what you’re saying is you want me to be your house boy?”
I rolled my eyes and huffed. “You’d look terrible in a maid’s outfit. Like a yeti in a dress.”
He simply smiled tenderly at me.
I was on a roll and being honest felt good.
“I want sexy things, of course, but when I play in a concerto before thousands of people, I want you in the audience. And when I accept awards and take interviews, I want you beside me, holding my hand.” I dropped my tone and smirked.
“You think I just want to keep you around as my house boy? Cook me dinner, take care of me when I’m sick? Blowjob when I want it?”
“You can’t help it can you?” he said with a little rumble of laughter.
“No, I don't think so. I’m still discovering who I am. What movie stars I’m attracted to and whether I like being the top or the bottom. But I do know one thing.”
“Hm?”
The musical notes chimed in my mind, making sense as if they were the keys to the universe and all its mysteries.
“You are the notes of “Adagio for Strings”, and the triumphant conclusion of Wagner's “Liebestod”. Just as I can’t survive without my music, I can’t live without you.
I want you around for as long as you want to be around. ”
His smile widened, his eyes glittering like emeralds. “Hm…looks like we might be agreeing on something here.”
“You think?”
“I just want you to be sure I’m what you want. You’re still young and deserve to experience the world. We can’t ignore the fact that when you’re thirty, I’ll be almost fifty.”
I conceded his point and ran my thumb over his hands that needed serious moisturizing.
“The Fernandez family was once very big. I had an aunt that died when I was three from cancer and a cousin that was killed in a car crash. One of my uncles who passed before I was born lost two children to a drowning accident when they were three. No one is guaranteed years. I could die tomorrow. So as long as we walk this Earth, I want it to be with you.”
He smiled as if I’d told him everything he’d wanted to hear. I climbed into his lap, his bigger body easily supporting me and I kissed the hell out of him because I was happy for the first time in my life.
He broke away and pegged me with intense green eyes that burned deep to my soul. “How dare you come into my life and turn everything upside down? You think there won’t be consequences?”
“I expect you’ll dish them out in bed,” I murmured against his lips.
“And in your shower. On top of the washing machine.” He gripped my chin roughly.
He actually looked angry, but his expression quickly softened.
“I keep trying to figure out when I fell for you. But I don’t think there is a single moment I can pinpoint.
Everything we’ve shared over the years is just notes.
Put them together and you get a beautiful piece of music. ”
Feeling playful, I said, “You had no chance. You’re a Lisztomaniac for me, admit it. You think I’m hot. You want to fuck me, kiss me, and love me.”
“Okay, Miss Congeniality.”
I passed him a quizzical look.
“Oh God, you haven’t discovered Sandra Bullock yet. You’re going to love her.”
He took my lips, pushing his tongue so deep into my mouth, he stamped himself on every fiber of my being. Was this the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with? No matter what happened between us, he’d ruined me. I’d never love anyone as much as I did him.
“Play for me,” he whispered. “You’re so beautiful when you do.”
I beamed, slid off him, and started the opening of Schumann’s “Scherzo No. 2”, the piece lively and upbeat, summing up all the hope and excitement for our future.
Time ticked on by and it meant absolutely nothing.
I switched to a fun, energetic ragtime tune Nana used to play and he busted silly dance moves that had me giggling and missing notes.
The morning wound on. I tried teaching him a simple chord, but his sausage fingers blundered it.
“Here,” I said and took his hand. I slid my fingers up and down the bones of his. “It’s not just in the digits. It’s also in the wrist and the palm. The movements need to flow naturally and shouldn’t be forced. The fingers should fall gently on the keys.”
“We're both going to have to accept that I’m more rough grizzly than sweet Pooh.”
I started playing again, his contribution to the song embarrassing but it was all in genuine fun. I stopped abruptly. “You said I could fuck you on my piano. Now seems as good a time as any.”
“I said we’d fuck on your piano, not that you could fuck me.”
I growled in excitement, feeling an argument coming on. “You’re my bottom-bitch, remember?”
He sat back and licked his lips. “I have a good hundred pounds over you. I’m all for wrestling for the top position.”
Grinning, I came a little closer as if I were going to kiss him. “Are you really going to deny that you love my cock in your ass?”
He growled, a sound of both annoyance and pleasure. We made a game of trying to take control of each other's mouths. I let him have the win because I wanted to kiss him desperately. We were going to have this every day and I looked forward to it.
The doorbell cut off our fun like glass crashing to the floor. I passed him an anxious look, wondering if he’d heard too or I’d imagined it. My father wouldn’t be brazen enough to show up here after everything that had happened?
Oh, he absolutely would.
A shadow passed over Sean’s face and he asked, “Do you want me to handle this?”
Yes, I totally did, except I was the man of the house now and this was my responsibility.
I got to my feet as the bell chimed again.
“No, I can take care of it. I should have known this wasn’t over.
He probably wants to tell me how terrible of a sinner I am and that I’m going to burn in hell. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.”
“I really want to punch your father in his snobby face,” he grumbled. “I’m going to get dressed but if he starts putting you down, I’m stepping in.”
Him sticking up for me was sexy. I watched as he padded toward the grand staircase that would take him to the second floor. Gathering my courage, I inched to the front door, the opaque privacy glass showing me the blurry shape of a figure.
If I could call my father out on his bullshit in a courtroom, I could do this. Sucking in a healthy dose of air, I yanked the door open.
I gaped at the tiny figure standing in front of me and seeming so much smaller than I remembered. “Mama?”