Chapter Twenty-Six
G abe drove slowly down the street toward the roundabout in front of the mall. He dreaded coming back to the questions that would undoubtedly be there when he arrived, but he couldn’t stay away forever. His animals needed him, at the very least.
He frowned to himself as he neared the huge roundabout. Cars were pulled up everywhere in the middle of the road. He slowed down even more and sucked in a startled breath when he realised Millie’s car was jammed into the front of Emma’s ute.
Gabe stopped and killed the engine, shoving his door open just as a very worried Darby spotted him from the sidewalk. Relief flooded her face at the sight of him. She ran toward him. His mother stood with Emma, arm around her shoulder, trying to get her to look at her.
Even with her skin a pasty ghost white, the sight of her hit him in the gut like a sucker punch. His attention was pulled from her by Darby grabbing his arm. He turned to his sister.
“Gabe! You’ve gotta come. I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t think she’s hurt but she’s gone all weird and she looks sick. Hurry!” Darby pleaded as she dragged him toward the scene.
His feet were already on their way. It didn’t matter that he had a major problem with Emma. If she was hurt, he couldn’t turn his back on her. And she really didn’t look well at all.
Emma backed away from them all as Gabe sprinted toward her, his heart in his throat. If she went much farther, she’d end up in the shop behind her, via the plate-glass window.
Gabe pushed through the throng that had gathered, all well-wishers, but all crowding her, making it worse. Millie’s strident voice carried over them all.
“I don’t know what her problem is. She’s plain crazy if you ask me. Send her back to Perth where she belongs. We don’t need her here.”
Rage boiled up within him. “Enough, Millie! What is your problem? Can’t you see there’s something wrong?”
He pushed through the last of the crowd to stand in front of Emma. Millie’s astonished expression at the sight of him would’ve been comical if he hadn’t been so damned worried.
“Gabe? What are you doing here? I thought she ran you out of town.”
Gabe turned his attention to Millie for a moment. “Don’t be an ass. I was in Bialga buying stuff for the practice.”
He wasn’t going to let her know how close to the truth she really was. It was none of her business. It was no one’s business. Emma stood with her face buried in her hands, her whole body shaking.
What was wrong that a minor bingle had this effect on her?
He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Emma? Hey Emma, look at me.” Her breathing grew worse as he watched. He was going to have to get her attention somehow. “Emma,” he said firmly, his voice louder. “What’s wrong? Tell me, honey.”
His voice must have permeated the fog she’d hidden behind. Her hands dropped and she stared up at him.
“Gabe? You’re back?” she whispered around her sob, unbelieving.
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m here. Are you okay? Why are you so upset? I’m sure the ute can be fixed. We’ll get it towed to Frank’s panel shop. He’ll fix it up like new for you.”
Her expression morphed from fear to anger in a heartbeat, radiating from her as her eyes teared up, fat drops rolling down her cheeks as he watched. “I don’t give a damn about the ute! Crush it. I don’t care.”
Gabe blinked at her outburst. A huge sob escaped her. Her hand went to her mouth to stop more from following. What the hell was going on?
“Then what’s wrong?” he asked, confused.
“They’re dead,” she whispered, her eyes glued to his. Her face crumpled. “It’s all my fault.”
Gabe looked around them. People shook their heads at him, as confused as he was. He didn’t try to hide his confusion any longer. “Who’s dead? What are you talking about?”
“I killed them.” She stared at him, as if willing him to understand.
Gabe grabbed Emma as her knees gave way, catching her as she fell. He scooped her up and turned around.
“Okay. Move, everyone! Let me through.” He spotted his mother just behind him. “I need your office,” he said, and hurried toward the bakery as the crowd parted before him.
Emma’s heartbroken sobs into his neck dampened his skin with her tears. Her arm snaked around his neck as if she was afraid to let him go.
What was she talking about? Who was dead? No one had been hurt as far as he could see.
Gabe hurried through his mother’s shop, around the counter and into the office at the back. The one-way mirror showed people following them into the bakery as he glanced up. He shook his head. They all meant well, but they were the nosiest lot he’d ever met.
He sat down on his mother’s sofa and cradled Emma on his lap. His mother wouldn’t let anyone past the front counter who didn’t need to be there. He stroked Emma’s hair back from her face.
“Now tell me what’s going on. I need to know. Who’s dead?” he asked softly over her sobs.
Emma’s hand rested on his chest. Her fingers curled into the material of his shirt as she tried to talk past her tears. “I was in a car accident three years ago. A truck hit my little hatchback. A drunk driver.” Her words halted for a moment, caught in her grief. “They’re dead. They’re both dead.”
Emma pulled back to look at Gabe, her face a mess of tears. “M-my husband Alex, and my daughter Sasha. She was only one. One,” she whispered. “I killed them, Gabe. It’s all my fault. If I’d bought the car Alex wanted they’d still be alive.”
Emma collapsed against him, heavy sobs shaking her. He glanced up at movement in the doorway to see his mother and Darby standing there, their sad faces mirroring the shock he felt.
Alex was her husband.
He was also dead, and Gabe had run away without finding out the truth, because he’d been so worried about being the one getting hurt.
How will she ever forgive me?
Gabe stroked Emma’s hair. His mother and Darby stepped back out of view, toward the front of the shop. “Why didn’t you say something? You didn’t need to go through that alone.”
“I didn’t want you all to know I killed them.” Emma spoke into his shoulder, her voice muffled. “I wanted you all to like me, not feel sorry for me. I wanted a clean slate, a new start. I was driving. I was responsible for their safety, but I was too busy arguing with Alex.
“It started about the car, then I told him I knew he’d been cheating. He had a girlfriend. The whole time I was pregnant he was seeing someone else. He said I was ugly, that he would never have gotten me pregnant if he knew how fat I’d get. I told him to move out. I-I didn’t see the truck run the red light.”
Emma heaved in a shuddering breath. “It hit us on his side and mangled the car. A metal pole went through my side.”
Holy Mother of God. That was what the scar was from.
Gabe tightened his arms around her, holding her close, trying to ease some of the pain. He didn’t know if he was helping or not but it was the only thing he could do.
“I’m so sorry. I know that doesn’t help, but I am sorry. No wonder you freaked out. You said you had a daughter?” he asked gently.
He wouldn’t mention the scum husband, a man who obviously had no idea what he’d given up by cheating on her.
She nodded into his chest, settling more comfortably against him. “Sasha. She was so little. She was everything to me. Her photo is in the locket on my keychain.”
Gabe kissed the top of her head and pressed his cheek to her hair. He’d seen the locket. Had never thought to ask what was in it.
“I’d like to see it, when you’re ready to show me.”
Emma nodded again. “I wish I’d done what he’d said and gotten the car he wanted. If I’d been paying attention, I would’ve seen the truck. Now I have to live with the fact that I killed my own family.”
Anger at the truck driver swelled. It wasn’t fair that she had to go through this alone, that she had to bear the pain and self-recrimination.
“It wasn’t your fault. How could it be? The truck ran the red light. It hit you . Okay, you weren’t paying attention. We’re all guilty of that at some point. You certainly didn’t expect a truck to come from nowhere and plough into you. You’re not responsible for other people’s bad choices, no matter how it affected you,” Gabe said, his soft words muffled against her hair.
He sucked in a gasp.
She wasn’t responsible. And neither was he.
Realisation hit him hard. He wasn’t responsible for Sami. She had made her own choice, and now he needed to let it go. He looked down at Emma. Seeing her pain and self-blame for something she could never have controlled had opened his eyes to the truth. It was something people had been telling him for years, but he couldn’t see it. Until now.
“Emma?” Gabe said quietly. She’d finally settled down in his arms, her sobs having faded to the odd sniffle. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“What is it?”
Where to start?
“I need to apologise for leaving the other morning. I don’t know if you can forgive me. It was heartless, but I did have a reason. At least, I thought I did,” he added.
She shook her head against him. “You don’t need to. I understand. It was a mistake, and you didn’t want to say so. I get it.”
She thinks I don’t want her. Shock made his voice tight. “No, that’s not it at all. That was the most amazing night I’ve ever spent with anyone. I didn’t want it to end.”
Emma slowly sat up and faced him, confusion plain in her teary eyes. “Then what happened? Why did you leave and not call? You even turned your phone off.”
Gabe closed his eyes briefly. How was he going to explain this without looking like a complete and utter fool? He opened them to look at her, willing her to understand.
“I was lying there with you, early, and I kissed you.” He took a breath. “You called me Alex.”
Emma’s eyes widened into huge orbs. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to.”
Gabe shook his head. “It’s okay, that wasn’t the problem. I figured he’d been someone important, and your subconscious associated me with him. I looked it up. It happens quite a lot apparently. But I got curious and asked you who he was. You said your husband.”
She gasped, horrified. “Oh no. And you thought…”
He nodded. “I thought you were married. I thought… I didn’t know what to think. Darby probably told you I went through a bad break-up?” At her nod, he continued. “Four years ago, I was engaged. We fought—a lot. About stupid stuff, really. I’d been thinking for a long time that it wasn’t going to work and went to see her to break it off. When I did, she told me she was pregnant.”
Emma’s hand moved to rest on his chest. “What happened?”
Gabe sighed. “We argued. I told her that bringing a baby into our relationship as it was, was a big mistake. I wanted to know how it could’ve happened because we always used protection. Neither of us was ready for kids. She accused me of being a cold-hearted bastard.” He shrugged. “I probably was. I just couldn’t see how a baby could be a good thing when we couldn’t even get along. I didn’t want to spend my life with someone who seemed to hate me so much whenever we were together. I told her I’d support her and the baby financially, but that we were through.”
He picked at some fluff on his knee. “She came to see me a couple of days later and told me she’d had an abortion. Threw the information packet at me and stormed out.”
Emma gasped, her eyes filling with tears again, but this time for him. “Oh, Gabe. No.”
Gabe looked down at the floor, unable to handle the compassion in Emma’s eyes. “I didn’t know what to do. I thought I’d caused her to kill our baby. I thought it was my fault. I called my parents and they came around.”
“Then there was a knock at the door.” Gabe looked back at Emma. “It was Sami’s lover. He’d come from Bialga to confront me. Sami had planned on marrying me, having this lavish lifestyle, and keeping him on the side. There was no baby. She’d lied about the pregnancy and the abortion, thinking I’d come crawling, tail between my legs, once the supposed problem was gone. He’d decided he didn’t want a part of it anymore and that I should know the truth.”
Emma didn’t speak. Just leaned forward and put her arms around his shoulders and held him.
Gabe brought his arms up around her and buried his face in her neck. How could he ever have thought that she was like Sami? She felt so right in his arms, so good. He’d never felt like that before.
Gabe turned his head to kiss her jaw, his lips grazing across her warm skin. He breathed deeply, drawing her scent into his lungs. He pulled back and touched a hand to his face, surprised to feel moisture on his fingers.
Emma rubbed her thumb over his cheek, wiping it away.
“No wonder you reacted like that. Leaving, I mean. It must have brought back some awful memories. You must have thought I was just like her,” she whispered, her eyes sorrowful.
Gabe stared at Emma in awe. “You’re amazing, you know that? I spent the night with you, disappeared on you, and you’re concerned about me? What I experienced is nothing compared to what you went through. I had a failed engagement. You lost your family. It doesn’t even come close.”
Emma smiled sadly at him. “It’s all relative. To you it was everything, because that’s where you were in your life. It must have been horrible. It gave you an insight that must have shocked the hell out of you. I wish you’d told me, or confronted me, so I could have explained.”
“I panicked. I wanted what happened so badly. Then when I thought you were married I had to get away. To try and sort out my feelings. You must have been pretty confused when you woke up,” he said, his eyes seeking hers.
He wanted to explain himself, to give her a reason to believe in him. He needed her to understand, and if he was really lucky maybe she would eventually forgive him.
“That’s an understatement. I didn’t know what to think. It would’ve helped if I’d known what you’d been through, but it still would’ve hurt. Especially since I didn’t know what sent you running. At least it’s out in the open now. I actually feel better not having to hide it anymore.” Emma’s eyes turned sad.
Gabe shook his head. “You didn’t have to hide it. It was an accident.”
“I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Pity would’ve been worse than if they’d blamed me.”
She stared at a point on his chest. Her fingers played with the material of his shirt, nervousness conveyed through her touch.
“I moved here to get away from everything. My memories. The whole place was too familiar. It felt claustrophobic. Like I would never be able to breathe properly again. I grew up there and, even though it was much bigger than here, I was always running into people I knew.”
Gabe pulled her closer, resting her head against his shoulder.
“I can’t even imagine. Everyone here was so supportive. But it got to be too much there for a while. After about a month or so, some of the women started coming around just to see if I was okay.”
Emma gave a wry chuckle. “Hunting you already? Not very polite of them.”
“Mmm.” Gabe’s cheek pressed against the top of her head. “Something like that.”
Emma sighed and relaxed into his body. “So why didn’t you date any of them later on? It’s been years. Millie would jump at the chance.”
Gabe couldn’t help the slow smile spilling onto his mouth. “Would it help to say I was waiting for the right girl?”
Emma sat back and pinned him with a cynical stare. “That’s a little too cheesy. Try again.”
“Don’t believe me? Fine.” His grin faded, and he held her denim-blue gaze with his own. “I didn’t want to ever be in that position again. I thought I’d failed her somehow, failed us. That it was my fault we’d fallen apart. It’s taken me this long to realise that simply wasn’t true. I was too scared to let anyone close.”
Gabe reached up a hand to twist a curl around his finger. It coiled around his hand, just like she’d wrapped around his heart.
“Until I met you. Then I was scared I would lose you, so it was easier to pretend I didn’t want you. If I didn’t want you in the first place, how could it matter either way whether you gave a damn?”
Emma laid her head back on his shoulder, her face pressed into his neck. Her hand stroked the hair at his nape, her fingers twisting in the strands.
Gabe closed his eyes and breathed deep. The scent of her shampoo rushed into his lungs and wound inside him. How had he lived without this for so long? His body cried out for her touch, even a touch as innocent as this. Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he glanced up. The local sergeant, Jack Walsh, stood in the doorway, hat in hand.
Gabe’s soft voice broke the silence. “I think we need to take care of your ute.”