Chapter 8
When Kazz had seen the battered old vehicle pull onto Nick and Stevie’s expansive drive, she mightn’t have been convinced it would get them to London but she wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Leanne, bless her, had managed to persuade her brother to drive Kazz back to the capital to pick up her belongings, plus the furniture from her grandad’s house that she would need for the shop, as well as all the books. Kazz hoped Saul knew what he was letting himself in for. This wouldn’t be a simple in-and-out job. It was going to take time and brute strength to shift some of the bigger pieces.
Mind you, she thought, he looked as though he was used to physical work. Along with a flat stomach and wide shoulders, he had dreamy eyes and was seriously hot. So hot that when he’d turned those gorgeous eyes on her and had held out his hand for her to shake, she had felt a fizz of excitement at his touch. This was one sexy guy, and her insides did a slow flip-flop of desire.
Wow – she hadn’t had that kind of reaction to a man in a very long time, and it was a pleasant feeling. Life in Tanglewood had suddenly become rather interesting.
But then Kazz recalled Leanne’s warning that her brother was a good-time guy. And she also remembered that she wasn’t looking for a good time. Or a boyfriend. She was in Tanglewood purely to sell her grandad’s books and give herself some breathing space to find another cheffing job: one with more sociable hours which meant that when she was ready for a boyfriend, she would actually be able to spend some time with him.
The only thing she should be interested in right now was whether Saul could load one of those big bookcases onto the trailer, despite this particular ability being one she didn’t normally look for in a man.
From the way Leanne had spoken of him, Kazz had half-expected Saul to hit on her the moment she clambered into the dilapidated Land Rover, and she felt a little disappointed when he didn’t, especially considering her instant attraction to him.
No wonder he played the field. He probably had women falling at his feet. In days gone by, she undoubtedly would have been one of them.
She hadn’t been looking forward to the drive and had been worried that she would find the journey awkward. But then he had put on an easy-listening playlist and she had relaxed a little, only to tense up again as she wondered whether this was part of his seduction technique, and she wished Leanne hadn’t said anything.
But after they’d been on the road for about forty-five minutes and there hadn’t been so much as a hint of a flirt, Kazz started to relax, and decided that Saul mightn’t be as bad as Leanne had made out.
Then they’d turned onto the M4 and he had seemed ready for a chat, and the words that had issued from her mouth had shocked her to her core.
She couldn’t believe that she had wanted to own a bookshop, just like Grandad, and she couldn’t believe that she’d forgotten. She used to beg Mum to take her to the shop instead of over to her nan’s when she was busy at work. And more often than not, Nan used to give in, so Grandad ended up looking after her instead. He had made a small counter for her, a replica of his much larger one, and she used to pretend to sell all kinds of things, not just books.
The memory came flooding back, making her heart ache with sadness. Her grandparents had been such a big part of her life. She had her nan to thank for her love of cooking, and it was she who had been partly responsible for Kazz enrolling on a catering course in college. She had never regretted her choice of career, despite her growing desire not to work such unsociable hours; but her subconscious blurting out that she had always wanted to own a bookshop was quite a shock.
And now she was being given the chance to do precisely that. Everyone was right – if she didn’t take this opportunity she would regret it, and she knew in her heart it would never come again. Now was the ideal time to give it a go. She wouldn’t get another chance.
A quiet excitement filled her, but it also competed with crippling anxiety and stomach-clenching worry. What if she made a total hash of it? What if she didn’t sell a single book?
The worry that she would end up worse off than she was now was a very real one, and she had to work hard to push it to one side.
Abruptly, what had only yesterday seemed like make-believe was today fast becoming a reality, as what she was doing sank in. Even signing a hastily drawn-up contract in a solicitor’s office yesterday for a two-month lease on the shop, and being given the keys to both that and the flat above Stevie’s tea shop, which was to be her home until just after the New Year, hadn’t seemed real.
Yet, sitting in the passenger seat of a mud-splattered farm vehicle that held a distinct whiff of animal, while barrelling along the bridge spanning the River Severn which separated England from Wales, suddenly brought it home to her: she was going to open a bookshop.
A vehicle as old as the Land Rover didn’t have a built-in satnav. The most modern feature was an ancient radio and cassette deck combo, which Kazz studied with interest, having never seen one before and doubting whether she would see one again.
Thankfully, Saul had a smartphone, which he used to guide them to the street her flat was on, because she didn’t have a clue how to get there from the M25. A detailed knowledge of the Underground wasn’t much help when travelling by road, and both her nerves and Saul’s were frazzled by the time he found a place to park, not too far from the entrance to her flat.
‘Bloody hell,’ he muttered. His face was ashen and his eyes were haunted when he turned to look at her. ‘I can’t believe we made it in one piece.’
Neither could Kazz.
It had been a nightmare negotiating the vehicle and its trailer through the busy network of roads, and more than once Saul had been flummoxed by diversions because of roadworks. The journey had also taken an hour longer than the guestimate he had given her. It was already one o’clock and she hadn’t even collected her belongings yet, let alone the stuff from her grandad’s house. At this rate, there was no way they would be returning to Tanglewood tonight. They would be lucky if they got back by the end of the week!
‘Oh, hell.’ She sighed. ‘I forgot to phone the house clearance man to tell him to meet me at the house today.’
Saul gave a shaky laugh. ‘I thought I was the house clearance man.’
‘You are, kind of. But I’m not taking everything with me. It won’t all fit in the trailer for a start.’ She would send her mum’s landlord a message and let him know that anything left at the house was his to keep or dispose of. She hated being so disorganised and unprepared, but this had all happened so fast that Kazz hadn’t had time to plan anything.
Saul was staring at her in dismay. ‘Please don’t tell me I’ll have to make two trips,’ he begged. ‘I don’t think my nerves can stand it.’
‘Neither can mine. It was a bit hairy, wasn’t it?’
‘I need a stiff drink.’
‘Will a cola do?’
‘It’ll have to. We’d better grab something to eat too. I’m guessing it’s going to be a long afternoon.’
‘And the rest,’ Kazz muttered under her breath. She made a decision and reached for her bag. ‘There’s a deli up the road. Do you want to get us some lunch while I make a start on the packing?’ She held out a twenty-pound note.
Saul hesitated.
‘Please take it,’ she urged. ‘We haven’t got time to argue over who is paying for lunch.’ Anyway, he was doing her a massive favour, so it was only fair that she picked up the food tab. She pushed the money into his hand and turned to the door. ‘I’ll leave it on the latch. No need to knock.’
Without waiting for a reply, she shoved her key in the lock and hurried upstairs, scooping up the post as she went. There wasn’t anything for her, and she dumped it on the table in the living room, before dashing to her room, where she came to a halt, wondering where to begin. Knowing that she wouldn’t be back, she had to ensure she took everything with her.
Most of the items in her bedroom were easy enough to gather together and stuff into her suitcase. They didn’t all fit, of course, so she resorted to using bin bags for the majority of it. She had just filled a second one, when she heard Saul’s voice.
‘In here,’ she called, and when he appeared in the doorway, her stomach did that forward roll again that had nothing to do with the sight of the paper bag of edible goodies that he was holding.
Telling herself to get a grip and that now wasn’t the best time to have lascivious thoughts about anyone – especially Saul – she dragged her gaze away and returned to her packing.
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him looking around, taking it all in, and she wondered what he was thinking. Looking at the flat through his eyes, she guessed that he probably wasn’t impressed. It was small and cramped, only big enough for two people, yet it housed four. The landlord had wanted to get his money’s worth, so what had once been a two-bedroom property had now become a four-bedroom one by taking a slice of what might once have been a generous living room, and splitting the larger of the bedrooms into two.
Kazz’s room was a decidedly ungenerous two-point-four by three-point-six metres. She knew, because she had measured it. The upside of having such a small space was that she hadn’t been able to cram a great deal into it. Neither the bed, the wardrobe, the chest of drawers nor the bedside table were hers (the flat had come furnished), so all she needed to concern herself with were her clothes, toiletries, bedding and the framed photo of a New York skyline that she had bought when she’d first moved in. Actually, sod the photo. She’d fallen out of love with it some time ago.
‘Do you need any help?’ he asked.
She could do with it, and she was about to say yes when the thought of him emptying her knicker drawer (she hadn’t started on the chest of drawers yet) made her think twice. And although she had yet to pack away her bedding, she didn’t want him handling her duvet – it seemed too personal somehow, especially since the cover and the sheet could do with a wash. And he most definitely wasn’t going to see what was in her toiletry basket in the bathroom. She would just slide it out of the cabinet and tip the contents into a bag. Then she would tie it up and place it inside a second. The thought of any man seeing the numerous potions, creams and lotions that it took to make her look presentable made her cringe.
And… Oh God! Kazz spied a piece of cardboard on the top of her bedside cabinet that she had torn from an empty box of condoms; it had been there for at least a year, and she had been using it as a bookmark.
She needed to get him out of her bedroom right now .
‘Let’s eat, shall we?’ she suggested hastily, taking the bag from him and being careful not to touch him. The jolt that had gone through her earlier, when she’d shaken his hand, had thrilled her enough for one day.
She wished she could have blamed it on static electricity, but the fact was that she fancied him rotten. And the five-hour journey hadn’t helped. Sitting next to him, his male magnetism washing over her (or had that been his aftershave?) had meant that she had been acutely aware of him the whole time. Whereas Saul appeared to be totally at ease and annoyingly unaffected by her presence.
Kazz supposed that was to be expected, if his reputation was to be believed. He’d probably had more girlfriends than she’d cooked steak au poivre. She doubted he would look at her twice.
They sat at the cramped dining table with its mismatched chairs to eat their lunch, Kazz guessing that the twenty pounds she had given him hadn’t been nearly enough, considering the amount of food. Saul seemed to have bought two of everything in the deli, although there wasn’t much left of their meal by the time she declared she was full.
Saul had devoured his with the enthusiasm of a man who did manual work for a living and didn’t need to concern himself with the number of calories he was consuming. Kazz ate because she needed to keep her strength up, and although the food was delicious (she had bought loads from the deli in the past), she hardly tasted it. She was far too on edge to enjoy it.
What the hell was she doing? Was she mad ? The last time she had sat at this table, the furthest thing from her mind was moving to Tanglewood and opening a shop. Yet here she was, packing up all her worldly possessions, with a strange guy helping her do it.
‘Are you OK?’ The gentleness in Saul’s voice and the concern in his eyes brought a lump to her throat.
She nodded uncertainly, pretty sure that she wasn’t, but not wanting to show it.
He saw anyway. ‘It’s a big step,’ he said. ‘But if Stevie can do it, so can you.’
‘She had a helping hand from her aunt Peggy.’
His smile was sympathetic. ‘And you’ve had a helping hand from your grandad.’
‘Yes, but Tanglewood? And a bookshop? I don’t know anything about owning a shop. At least Stevie is an expert when it comes to cakes and pastries.’ Feeling tears prickling behind her eyes, Kazz flapped her hands in front of her face. ‘Don’t mind me, I’m just having a wobble. So much has happened in such a short space of time that it’s knocked me for six.’
She didn’t know how much he knew about her circumstances, but she guessed it was more than she had shared with him on the journey down. Even if Leanne hadn’t said a great deal, Tanglewood was a hive of gossip and news travelled fast.
‘I reckon running a bookshop isn’t much different to running a tea shop, but without the worry of giving someone food poisoning,’ he said.
Kazz uttered a surprised laugh. ‘There is that.’
‘And books don’t have to be made fresh every morning.’
‘True…’
‘They don’t go stale, either.’
‘Just musty and dusty.’
‘Don’t you just love the smell of old books!’
Kazz did. It was one of her favourite aromas. And when Saul got to his feet, saying, ‘You’ve got this. You’ll be fine,’ she caught a whiff of his aftershave and wondered whether she should also add that scent to her list of favourite smells. She debated whether to ask him what it was, but decided against it, not wanting him to think she was flirting when she most definitely wasn’t.
He gazed down at her. ‘What do you need me to do?’
‘Can you start loading this lot onto the trailer?’ she asked, nodding her head at the pile outside her bedroom door, feeling more in control. His quiet confidence had given her the boost she needed to hold her fears at bay. For the time being, at least. As well as being good-looking, and oozing confidence and sex appeal, Saul appeared to be a nice guy – which was a lethal combination.
She watched him pick up the bulging and incredibly heavy suitcase with ease, trying not to stare at the way the muscles in his arm bunched, or at his backside as he walked down the hall.
Tearing her gaze away, she quickly disposed of the remains of their meal in the bin, then hurried into the bedroom, scooped up the condom-box bookmark and stuffed it into her jeans pocket. Then she darted into the bathroom and emptied her basket of toiletries and make-up into a bag.
Less than an hour later, she was done and having a final check around.
She wasn’t sure how she felt about leaving the place she’d lived in for the last four years. Regretful? Yes. Sad? A little. Scared? Definitely. But she was also excited.
As Betty had so aptly said, this was the start of a whole new chapter. All Kazz hoped was that it didn’t end on a cliffhanger.