Chapter 26
‘You can stay the night, if you want.’ Kazz leant across the sofa to top up Leanne’s wine glass.
‘I’d love to, but I can’t. We’re flying to Scotland tomorrow, remember? So I’d better try to get some sleep. If I stay here, I won’t get a wink. We’ll be too busy talking all night. Have you told Saul not to come over?’
‘Not yet. I’ll do it now. Sorry to ruin your shopping trip.’ They’d cut out after the pub and headed straight back to Tanglewood and the comfort of Kazz’s flat.
‘You didn’t ruin it. I bought the most gorgeous dress. And it’s not your fault that Saul was lunching with Joelle.’
Kazz picked up her phone, wondering where Saul was now. It was four thirty-six, so lunch was over long ago, but had he gone back to the farm, or was he still with Joelle? And if so, where were they and what were they doing?
Unwilling to go any deeper down that particular rabbit hole, Kazz hastily began typing a message.
Do you mind if we give this evening a miss? I’m going to have a girly
night in with Leanne xxx
She thought long and hard about the kisses, before deciding to leave them in. She usually ended her texts with three kisses, and she didn’t want to do anything to alert him.
Saul replied within a few seconds.
No probs. Knackered anyway. Could do with a good kip in my own bed
x
Kazz scrutinised the message. He sounded just as he always did, and she bit her lip.
Did you fix the machine thingy?
Yeah. Had to go to Hereford to buy a part tho.
Kazz’s eyebrows shot up.
‘What?’ Leanne asked.
Kazz said, ‘He’s admitted to being in Hereford. Said he had to buy something.’
‘There you go! I said there would be an innocent explanation, didn’t I?’
Kazz didn’t share her friend’s relief. ‘He might have an innocent explanation for being in Hereford, but it’s one hell of a coincidence that he bumped into his ex while he was there.’
‘Stranger things have happened,’ Leanne argued, but she didn’t sound convinced either.
‘It doesn’t explain the lunch or the hand-holding over the silverware.’
Leanne blew out her cheeks. ‘Are you going to mention you saw him?’
‘Not right now. I want to see how deep a hole he’s going to dig for himself.’
‘At least he told you he was in Hereford. He didn’t lie about that.’
‘True…’ Kazz began to type.
We went to Hereford too. Train to Cardiff cancelled. You could have
given us a lift.
His response took longer to arrive this time.
Did you buy anything nice?
No. Didn’t see anything I liked.
Leanne snatched the phone out of her hand, and her fingers flew across the screen.
‘Hey!’ Kazz cried. ‘What did you say to him?’
‘I told him you’d speak to him tomorrow, as I was sulking because you were ignoring me. You can’t have that kind of conversation by text.’
Kazz sighed and picked up her wine glass. ‘You’re right, I can’t. And I probably am reading too much into it.’
She didn’t mean it, though. She had a feeling she was reading the situation exactly as it had been written. There was no plot twist, no red herring… Their romance had become a tragedy and she was pretty sure she had reached the last page.
There would be no happy-ever-after for her and Saul.
Saul puffed out his cheeks and shoved his phone back in his overalls pocket. Talk about a narrow escape! He couldn’t believe Kazz and his sister had gone shopping in Hereford instead of Cardiff. What if he had bumped into them? His story of popping to Hereford for a part might have been believable to Kazz, but it wouldn’t have washed with Leanne. His sister would have seen right through him. He would never have changed out of his work clothes to pick up a part, and neither would he have needed to go into Hereford town centre. The spare parts place was on the outskirts, on an industrial estate.
He should never have agreed to meet Joelle. He should have insisted that she said what she had to say over the phone.
He had been in two minds whether to tell Kazz that he had spent all day on the farm, but Mum, Dad and Murray knew he’d been out for a significant part of the day, and they might mention something to her. At least by telling her that he’d been in Hereford, he was covering his backside.
Saul heaved a sigh. What a day. He wasn’t used to subterfuge and he didn’t like lying, but until he’d known what Joelle wanted, he had thought it best not to mention it.
He still wasn’t sure whether he should mention Joelle to Kazz at all. Kazz was aware that he’d had quite a few girlfriends over the years, so as far as she was concerned, Joelle was just a name on a fairly long list. No one knew what she had meant to him or the devastation she had caused to his heart. So there was no reason for him to tell Kazz right now. Maybe at some point in the future he would mention it, but he hadn’t asked her about her previous boyfriends, and she hadn’t asked about his past relationships.
Joelle being in Tanglewood for a few months hopefully shouldn’t prove to be too awkward, and maybe he would have to confess to Kazz that he had once been in love with the woman, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it. Right now, his relationship with Kazz was going brilliantly and he didn’t want to do or say anything that might rock the boat.
‘Saul? Saul! ’ His mother was yelling for him as she hurried across the yard, her wellies sloshing through the dirty slushy puddles that the melting snow had left behind. The floodlights placed strategically on the sides of the barn and the house illuminated her face, and he wondered why she looked so excited.
‘What’s up?’ he asked as she drew nearer. She was breathless and her cheeks were flushed. ‘Please tell me you’ve won the lottery,’ he joked.
‘Better than that. You’ll never guess!’
‘What?’ He began to chuckle. His mother looked like a kid on Christmas morning.
‘Murray and Ashley are going to have a baby! Isn’t that marvellous?’ She clapped her hands. ‘Another grandchild. Ooh, I can’t wait!’
‘That’s wonderful news. I’ll pop over to the cottage and congratulate them.’
‘Don’t leave it too late, because they are going to visit Ashley’s parents tomorrow to tell them the news. They won’t be back until after New Year’s Day.’ Ashley’s parents had a dairy farm near Carmarthen.
Saul was delighted for his brother. Murray would be a brilliant father.
His mum was saying, ‘I thought she was looking a bit peaky but I didn’t like to say anything, and I had my suspicions when she didn’t drink anything on Christmas Day.’
‘Didn’t she? I didn’t notice.’
‘You wouldn’t; you were too wrapped up in Kazz.’ His mother beamed at him. ‘It’ll be your turn next.’
Saul burst out laughing. ‘Slow down, Mum, we’ve only been going out together for five minutes.’
She gave him a meaningful smile and tapped the side of her nose.
‘Don’t you turn into Betty,’ he warned. ‘One eccentric old biddy in the village is enough.’
Iris clapped her hands again and did a jig of excitement. ‘I’d better phone Leanne and tell her, and Martin and Stuart. Then there’s—’
‘Mum, don’t you think Murray would like to break the news to them himself?’
Iris looked crestfallen. ‘Oh dear, you’re right. It’s their news to tell, not mine.’ She stared at him hopefully. ‘When you see Murray, can you pretend you don’t know?’
‘I think I can manage that.’ Saul was good at pretending; he had pretended he was fine for months after Joelle ditched him.
‘I’d better get tea on,’ his mother said, and she bustled off back to the house.
Saul watched her go, smiling at the skip in her step. To his mother, family was everything, and the more family she had, the happier she was.
Murray, a father…? It was bound to happen at some point, and now that it had, Saul was even more convinced that he was right in wanting to strike out on his own.
Maybe it was time to talk to Kazz, and see what she had to say about it.
He might even tell her that he loved her.
Kazz stared at the message on her phone for the umpteenth time the following morning. It was a nice message, lovely in fact. But she couldn’t help feeling anything other than sad when she read it.
It was from Leanne, and it said: Woot! Woot! Murray is going to be a dad!
Kazz hardly knew Murray and his wife, but they seemed a nice couple and appeared to be very much in love. As did Leanne and Rex, Stevie and Nick, Edie and… She could go on, but it would only depress her. Everyone else was in a happy stable relationship, except for her. Her relationship was on the rocks, and it was only a matter of time before Saul told her it was over – and she knew this because there was also another message on her phone, one she hadn’t been able to stop looking at.
It was from Saul.
I’ll bring us a takeaway this evening – there’s something I want to
talk to you about.
If she had received a message like that from Stevie or Rossiter, she would have immediately messaged back, demanding to know what they wanted to talk about and haranguing them for being so mysterious and keeping her in the dark.
But this was Saul. And she could guess what it was, so she had sent him a smiley face emoji and had left it at that.
Crumbs, the shop was quiet today; it was already noon and apart from herself, no one had set foot inside the bookshop. She wouldn’t have minded, but the main street was fairly busy. There were plenty of people about, but none of them wanted what she was selling. It crossed her mind that she could start sourcing fresh stock since she had some time on her hands, but her heart wasn’t in it.
She was tired and upset, and the scarcity of customers had given her too much time to think. Her thoughts hadn’t been pleasant. Aside from feeling so hurt that her very heart ached, she didn’t know how she could possibly carry on living in Tanglewood if Saul was with another woman. The thought of the two of them together made her feel sick to the bottom of her stomach.
She kept telling herself that maybe he wanted to talk about something else entirely, that he wasn’t going to dump her, but she didn’t believe it. After all, she had seen him with her own eyes. Even if he didn’t get back with Joelle, Kazz wasn’t sure she would be able to continue living here without the man she loved. She would be better off returning to London and forgetting that Saul Green existed.
Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them away, refusing to cry. If a customer were to come in, she didn’t want them to find her bawling her eyes out, so in an attempt to distract herself, she picked up a duster and began flicking it over the shelves in a desultory fashion.
But she had only managed a couple of shelves when her phone pinged with a message from Rossiter. Kazz read it with disbelief.
Have you heard? All charges against Freddie have been dropped. He’s
reopening the restaurant. U should have had a letter and any wages due
to you. What U think?
She read it again. This was too big for messaging, so she rang him. ‘Can you talk? You’re not at work, are you?’ she asked.
‘I’m on the sofa, reading this letter and thinking I need a vodka.’
‘I haven’t had a letter yet,’ Kazz said. ‘What does it say?’
‘That he wants his staff back to help him make the restaurant even better than it was before. And he’s offering more wages. I’m seriously thinking about it. What would you do? Do you think I should risk it?’
‘How much more is he offering?’
‘Twenty per cent more.’
‘Bloody hell! That’s not like Freddie. Go for it! Is he asking everyone to go work for him again, or is he cherry-picking?’
‘Not sure. Why? Fed up with small-town life?’
‘You could say that.’
‘I’m not surprised. I thought you were mad when you told me you were moving to Trumpton.’
‘Tanglewood,’ Kazz corrected.
‘Same thing. It’s out in hicksville, and I bet you have to travel miles for a decent cup of coffee.’
‘I can get one downstairs. Stevie might own a tea shop, but she does a mean latte.’
‘Whatever.’ Rossiter sighed. ‘You couldn’t pay me enough to live there. So, back to the important stuff – are you seriously thinking about coming back to London to work for Freddie again?’
For a couple of blessed minutes Saul hadn’t been in the forefront of Kazz’s mind, but the memory of what she had seen yesterday, and what was going to happen tonight when he turned up at the flat, slammed into her. Fresh pain stabbed her in the heart and she almost wept.
‘Yes, to coming back to London,’ she said. ‘But as for working for Freddie again, I’m not sure…’ She had enjoyed being her own boss and the thought of Freddie yelling at her day in, day out wasn’t in the slightest bit appealing.
‘You’ve got to! Without you, his Bordelaise sauce would taste like it came out of a packet, the place would go to the dogs, and we would all be out of a job again!’
Kazz smiled, despite the tears threatening to spill over. ‘I’ll wait until I get my letter, then I’ll decide,’ she said, although she was pretty certain she would go back to her old job. Working for Freddie would mean that the pressure was off and she could look for another position from the safety of the one she had.
After the call ended, Kazz dropped into the gold wingback chair and stared vacantly out of the window. She was a jumble of emotion and indecision. She didn’t want to give up her bookshop and leave Tanglewood, but she didn’t see how she could remain, under the circumstances. Everywhere she went would remind her of Saul and what she had lost.
And then there was the issue of seeing Saul himself: the village was too small not to bump into him every second day. It would be awful. Soul-destroying. Unthinkable.
And now, mercy of mercies, she was being offered a way out. With the lease on the bookshop having only two weeks left to run, and with enough of her grandad’s books sold to give her a bit of money to fall back on, she should be able to make the transition to London smoothly enough.
She would contact a few of the second-hand bookshops in Hay-on-Wye and ask whether they would like to take any stock off her hands, and it should be easy enough to dispose of the furniture; there was certain to be a company that did house clearances. They could have it for nothing, as long as they took it away.
Oh, God, this seemed so final. In a couple of weeks she could be back in London, begging Rossiter to let her kip on his sofa until she could find a place of her own.
She hated having to think like this, but she felt better for having a plan in place should the worst happen this evening.
But she was clinging onto one little shred of hope: maybe Saul would have an explanation and his lunch with Joelle had been entirely innocent.
And it was that hope which stopped her from completely falling apart.
At least my friends want to speak to me , Kazz thought, an hour or so later when she saw Tia’s name flash up on the screen of her phone. No one else wanted to know. Tell a lie, she’d had one customer, but he hadn’t wanted to buy a book. He had been looking for doilies, having been sent out to buy some by his partner. With only a vague idea that they were some kind of paper-thing, he had hoped Kazz stocked them. The disappointment on his face when he’d discovered that she didn’t was probably echoed on her own.
So the call from Tia was very welcome, even though Kazz was so miserable that she was heartily sick of her own company.
‘Hi, Tia, did you have a good Christmas?’ She tried to sound upbeat and normal, but it wasn’t easy.
‘Yes, thanks, I did. You?’
‘It was good.’
‘Can I clarify something with you? Edgar has heard that you’re not going to renew your lease. Are you really giving up the bookshop?’
Kazz’s mouth dropped open. ‘What makes him think that?’ She hadn’t said a word to anyone, apart from Rossiter.
‘He was at some dinner party and Ralph Booker, your landlord, was there. He mentioned that you hadn’t been in touch within the required timeframe.’ Tia carried on blithely, ‘I must admit that I was surprised to learn that someone else is taking it over when your term is up, but then you’ve always been adamant that it was only a temporary thing, and it’s good for the village that the shop won’t be empty.’
Kazz was reeling. Required timeframe? What the hell? Was she supposed to know about this? ‘Um, yeah,’ she replied absently, hurrying out the back to her tiny office. She needed to take a look at that lease.
Kazz opened the top drawer of the desk and took out a folder, quickly flicking through the papers and documents until she found the one she was looking for. Scanning it, she located the paragraph she needed, and her heart sank. Oh hell, Tia was right; Kazz should have applied to the landlord for a new lease no later than four weeks prior to the end of the current one. If no notification was received, she would be deemed to not wish to renew, and the property could be leased to any other interested party.
‘Do you know who is taking it over?’ she asked, aghast to think that her lovely shop would be selling something else in a few weeks.
‘A cosmetics company, I believe. They’re quite local, based in Hereford with branches all over the Marches and into Shropshire. Someone who used to live in Tanglewood, Joelle Lawson, works for them. She’s done well for herself apparently; she started on the sales team and worked her way up. I’d heard a rumour she was seen in the village before Christmas, so that must be the reason why.’
Kazz stopped listening. The only thing she had heard was the name Joelle. And suddenly everything fell into place.
Saul had betrayed her.
Tia was still talking. ‘Are you going to look for a position in a kitchen? You’ll definitely have to get yourself a car. Wherever you land a job, it won’t probably be in Tanglewood.’ When Kazz failed to answer, Tia asked, ‘You are going to stay in Tanglewood, aren’t you?’
‘No.’ Her voice was strangled, and she blinked away sudden tears.
‘Why not?’ Tia demanded.
Kazz didn’t want to tell her about Saul. She couldn’t face the sympathy, even if it was given with the kindest of intentions. Or the pity. After all, she had been warned.
What better way to save face than to claim she had done what she had intended to do – namely, open a pop-up bookshop for Christmas in order to sell as many of her grandad’s books as possible. And now that she had achieved that, she would return to London and pick up her life where she’d left off. Everyone knew she was a chef: no one would think it strange that she was going to resume the job she had trained hard for and was good at.
Apart from Stevie and Leanne. Edie and Tia would probably also guess, but unless she confided in them, they wouldn’t know for sure. Everyone else would assume she had been one of Saul’s conquests and he’d moved on as he always did. It would be the truth.
Without the option of being able to extend her lease, the decision had effectively been taken out of Kazz’s hands. Her days of owning a bookshop were numbered. Even if she were to stay in Tanglewood and not go running back to London, she would have to find a job.
At least working in Freddie’s kitchen was a case of better the devil you know. She would have looked for a job in Tanglewood in a heartbeat if she could be assured of Saul’s love, but…
‘I’m returning to my old job in London,’ she blurted. ‘I’ll be working in a Michelin star restaurant again.’