Chapter 21
brUCE
Ican hear the blood roaring through my veins, a dull constant in my ears at her saying her ex didn’t treat her well. I can read between the lines, and I know she’s making it seem like less than it was. I can hear it in the small way she said he liked her weak.
This is the shadow that haunts her, the thing that stole her easy smile. I suspected it was something to do with her ex, but not this, not that he took this beautiful woman and broke her. I want her to fly even more after hearing the little bit she shared. Because there’s more, of that I’m sure.
She’s right about one thing, though. “I’m glad you’re happy, Al.
That’s all I want, all I ever wanted. I know we both thought it would be with each other from high school on, and our lives would look so different if that’s how it’d played out, but this detour .
. . I think we can get back on track, if you want that too. ”
I’m not trying to put pressure on her. I’ve already told her I’m willing to do anything she wants, from no-strings casual to as serious as a diamond ring on her pretty little finger.
But she gets to decide our next step, especially after what she just divulged.
I want her to know deep in her heart that I want her strong, that I want us to be partners.
I’m usually sort of an alpha caveman myself, but I like the fiery side Allyson always had. Al needs this power right now, and I know I need her strong too. It takes a strong woman to handle Brutal Tannen.
She’s quiet for a long time, both of us staring up at the sky. I don’t know about her, but I don’t really see the stars. I’m seeing us, the years we missed, the sadness that haunted us both, the journey we went on without one another but still converged into this moment.
Like we’re meant to be.
“Michelle told me something tonight. At the time, I thought she was crazy, but I think she might be right.” She’s rushing the words, but in the dark, I can’t tell if she’s excited or nervous without seeing her.
“What did she say?” I ask cautiously.
“This is a date, but not it’s not really like it’s our first date because of .
. . everything.” She’s hemming and hawing, which only makes me that much more interested in what she’s trying so hard to say.
“So, if it’s not really a first date, it wouldn’t be bad for us to do . . . not-first-date things.”
Her tone is heavy with meaning that even a stupid fucker like me can decipher. I’m surprised that’s where she’s going, especially considering the deeper thoughts that’d been playing through my own mind, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
I move fast, pulling her across my lap so that we’re face to face, her thighs straddling my hips.
Like there’s actually a god looking out for us, the moon comes out from behind a cloud and I can see her pretty clearly.
She’s nibbling at her bottom lip, and though it’s too dark to tell for sure, I get the distinct impression that she’s blushing.
“Say it, Al. Tell me exactly what you want. Be real fucking sure about what you say, though, because you know I’ll give you anything.” She means sex. I truly mean anything.
“I want you to . . .” Her spine straightens as she finds her spirit. “I want you to fuck me, Bruce. Hard and rough, like I’m not some fragile thing that’s broken inside. I want to forget the years in between us then and us now. Fuck me, Bruce.”
She gathered steam as she spoke, her voice steady and more confident, her needs and desires laid bare.
It’s sexy as fuck to hear her tell me to fuck her, but the thought that she feels fragile breaks my heart.
She’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever known.
The urge to hunt her asshole ex down flashes through me again but is quickly washed away by the urgency of what she’s asking.
This will be the first time we ever have sex without being in love and that’s fucking with my head.
No, I correct myself. We’re just not in love yet.
But I do love her, or the idea of her, of us.
And I promised her I could handle this, would let her lead and give her whatever she needs to find herself, especially after her story highlighted just how lost she’s been.
This is the dance of my life, two-stepping for our life, the one we could have together. But it starts here.
It’s definitely not a bad gig, tasting her sweetness again, working her body until she’s drunk on me the way I’m already drunk on her.
I want more, but I’ll greedily take what she has to offer for now and hope she finds what she’s looking for fast because I already have.
Her.
I shut down my heart and focus on what she’s willing to do. I won’t push her for more, not when I can give her what she wants.
I cup her jawline firmly and drop my voice down, letting the gravel wash over her and giving her the filthy words I know turn her on.
“You want me to fuck you, baby? Kiss you . . .” I press my lips to hers.
“Suck your tits . . .” I let one hand drop to squeeze her breast, my thumb stroking over the hard nipple I can feel through her dress.
“Lick that clit . . . and stretch your tight little pussy with my cock? That what you want?”
I buck beneath her, letting her feel the already hard ridge of my cock against her molten core.
The air has gone steamy between us, the cool of the evening licking along our skin, and Allyson moans. Somewhere in the long syllable, I hear her yes, but I need to be clear.
“Look at me, Al.” She blinks slowly, fighting through a haze of desire to focus.
“Are you sure? I need you to be one hundred percent certain because I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop with how badly I want you.
Fuck, I want inside your sexy body, that sweet pussy.
” I’m growling, but I can’t help it. “Be sure, Allyson.”
It’s almost a beg, for her body, for her heart.
She surprises the absolute hell out of me, doing something that once upon a time I wouldn’t have given a second thought, but I know how out-of-character it is for her now. She pulls her dress right over her head, baring herself to me in only a lacy blue bra and panty set.
“Fuck. Me.”
She might not’ve planned for this to happen tonight, and I would’ve gladly looked my fill of her in granny panties and a plain bra, but like this? She’s absolutely stunning. Breathtaking.
While I’ve been gobsmacked, she’s been unhesitatingly working at the buttons of my shirt, letting me know that she’s not having any second thoughts. Once she gets it open, I pull it off and yank her to me.
Her skin feels like silk against mine. I grip her hair, feeling the strands weave through my fingers as I direct her head back, exposing her neck. I lay a long line of wet kisses down the curve, tasting her racing pulse.
I murmur against her, “Take your bra off. Show me.”
I might have let her be in charge of getting us here, but now, this is my show. It’s the way we’ve always liked it. I’m bossy and foul-mouthed, and she gets off on it, knowing that I’m watching her every nuanced reaction to guide us somewhere amazing.
She reaches back, making quick work of the hooks, and then shrugs the lacy scrap off.
I hold her ribs, arching her back and pressing her nipples toward my mouth.
They’re pearled up in need and probably from the chill a bit too, but I warm them up quickly.
I suckle at her hard, drawing her deep into my mouth and then letting go with a pop to swirl my tongue in circles.
She cries out, her hand going to her mouth to muffle the echoing sound.
“Nuh-uh, you don’t have to be quiet out here. It’s just us. Nobody around for miles. Let the night hear what I’m doing to you, how good it feels. Let me hear you.” She whimpers but lets her hand fall. “Good girl.”
I lick along her sternum, teasing the sensitive skin between her tits as our hands explore each other. Her nails score along my skin, and I want her to mark me, show me how far gone she is.
“Stand up,” I tell her, helping her to stand on the egg crate cushion beneath us.
I reach up and slide the pretty blue panties down her legs as she lifts one foot, then the other to help me.
Once she’s nude, I guide her to step closer to me as I scoot down, leaning back against the cab of the truck. “Come here.”
I look up at her, making sure she’s still with me. Her mouth is open, small pants of need passing her lips as she presses her hips forward. So slowly, I lick along her lips, right then left, before flattening my tongue and tasting the honey coating her slit.
“Mmm, so fucking delicious,” I moan as her juices coat my tongue.
“Oh, my God,” Allyson gasps, her fingers diving into my hair to encourage me. “Yes.”
Her cry is music to my ears. I devour her, slipping my hands through her spread legs to grip her ass, serving her pussy to my hungry mouth. I lick her clit, swirling and sucking the nub into my mouth as her cries fill the night around us. She bucks against me, riding my tongue.
It’s driving me wild with desire even as my heart fills with pride at her using me for her pleasure. I keep a tight grip on her ass with one hand but let the other wander, teasing her with a finger.
“More,” she demands breathlessly.
“This what you want, baby? You want me to slide my fingers in your pussy even though you know what you really want is my cock?” My words are murmurs against her skin as I rest my cheek on her hip, enjoying the tease as much as she is.
Her whine spurs me on, and I press forward with one thick finger, filling her. “Damn, Al. You’re so tight, I don’t know if you’re gonna be able to take me anymore. Relax and let me in, baby.”
She shudders, and I finger-fuck her slowly, stretching her.
I’m not just dirty talking her. She really is fucking tight, and I can’t wait to feel her slick satin walls choking my cock, but I don’t want to hurt her.
But she’s so wet that after a few seconds, I can add a second finger and she turns molten.
“Yes . . . oh, God . . . Bruce . . . please.” She’s basically chanting as she pleads with me to get her there. She’s walking that edge so close, stunningly beautiful as she holds on.
“Come for me, Al. Fly for me,” I growl, then suck hard on her clit, driving my fingers in deep with short, hard thrusts.
And she does. Her orgasm is loud and messy, a revelation in release as every bit of tension leaves her body at once.
She spasms, and I hold on tight, making sure she doesn’t collapse.
After a moment, her pants slow and she looks down at me.
I wish the moonlight would let me see the truth of her reaction, but it’s too dark to read her eyes.
Her words are crystal clear, though. “More.”
She steps back, bending at the waist to kiss me as her hands work at my belt.
I growl and push her hands out of the way to make quicker work of it, shoving my jeans and underwear down my thighs.
My cock springs up, slapping against my belly, hard and throbbing.
I take myself in hand, meeting her eyes.
“Allyson?”
One more chance. To stop herself. To stop me. To stop this freight train that’s not running off the tracks but rather is getting back on track. Right the fuck here and now.
She drops to her knees, aligning herself as I use a thumb to hold myself at the right angle. She kisses me wantonly and drops onto my cock, impaling herself and wrapping me in a slick velvet vice.
Her anguished cry scares me at first, but it quickly turns into a sound of pleasure as her body makes way for me. “Fuck, Al. So damn tight. Are you okay?”
I force myself to stay still, letting her adjust to me as I fight my orgasm off. I just got back inside her. I’m sure as hell not gonna come like some two-pump chump, no matter how good she feels.
She moves first, fucking me, and I let her take what she needs as I brush my thumb across her clit.
But after a few thrusts, I can’t hold back anymore and my hands find her hips.
We slam into each other, powerful and rough, violently coming together like we can blot away the past years apart if we just go hard at each other.
She said she didn’t want me to treat her as though she’s fragile, but that’s the last thing she feels like right now.
She feels fierce and wild, like my Allyson always has been.
Once, weeks ago, I’d had a passing thought that I could hate-fuck her out of my heart. Now, I want to fuck myself into hers—harder, deeper, brutally claiming her as she tattoos herself on my heart too.
“You feel too good,” I manage to grunt out through my clenched teeth. “I can’t stop.”
“Don’t stop, Bruce. Please. Fill me.” Her beg is stilted as I thrust into her, but on the same page, we explode together.
The sky might be full of stars, but all I see are the flashes behind my eyelids as I come, filling her with my seed at the same time she spasms around me, milking me for more.
Both of us cry out to the dark, mine deep and grunted and hers high-pitched and hitched, in a shared moment of absolute frozen bliss, and then we sag, spent and gasping for breath.
We stay tangled in each other. I feel like warm, fizzy champagne is buzzing through my veins, making my edges blurry, like I can’t tell where I end and Allyson begins. She’s languid against me, almost purring with an occasional hum in her throat.
There’s no awkwardness now, something I didn’t even realize I was nervous about. We just roll right back into talking, relaxed and easy like we used to, as I trace swirling lines along her back. The stars twinkle, the night chills, and we just curl up into each other.
Bobby writes songs about moments like this, I realize. This sense of hopefulness, of the start of something greater, of love.
But I bite back any words about that, not wanting to scare her. She asked me to fuck her. She didn’t ask me to love her. I do, but she’s not ready. Two steps forward, though, I’ll take.