Chapter 23 #2
We’ve got a pretty good handle on the preparations now. The guys, Bennetts and Tannens both, have been working side-by-side to do the heavy lifting, and Mama Louise and the girls swept Allyson off as soon as we got here.
I already said it once, and it’s not really our style, but I tell the guys again, “Thanks a lot for letting us do the campout here and for helping set everything up.”
“Not like you asked before planning the whole shindig.” Mark’s brow raises with the accusation, but he’s not wrong.
“I know. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time,” I explain for what’s got to be the tenth time.
He’s like a dog with a bone and won’t let it go.
The only reason I haven’t bowed up at him over the whole thing is that I can see a tiny flicker in his eyes as he gives me shit.
Almost like . . . he’s teasing? But I don’t know if Mark has a funny bone in his entire body.
If so, it’s gotta be just the very tip of his pinkie toe or .
. . what’s that tiny bone in your ear? That thing could probably hold more humor than he has in his whole body.
Bobby snorts. “He means Allyson had him by the dick and he would’ve agreed to anything she asked.”
He sounds full of piss and vinegar and I’ve had more than enough. I drop the small log I’m moving with a thud, my hands going on my hips to keep from shoving him. “What’s your problem, Bobby?”
I don’t give him a chance to answer the rhetorical question, barreling in myself. “I get it, I was a pain in your ass when all that shit went down, but I’m the one who went through the hard shit. If I can forgive her, why the hell can’t you stand down?”
He gets right up in my face, hissing, “She’s dangling everything you ever wanted in front of your face.
The whole deal—her, a kid, football.” He ticks each thing off on his fingers.
“Like a ready-fucking-made family, but it’s not yours.
She’s not yours, that kid ain’t yours, and you’ll have a few weeks of football and then what?
She’s gonna chew you up and spit you out .
. . again. And I’m not gonna be the one to prop you up this time. ”
My fists are curling and unfurling with how bad I want to beat the shit out of him. He’s my brother, but we’ve always been a family of fists over words. And right now, he’s spoiling for a fight I’m more than willing to give him.
“You just can’t stand that I’m happy, can you? I’ve been walking around like a damn ghost for almost ten years, your partner in every crime, but now that I’m getting what I want and have a real shot at being happy, you . . . you . . . you’re jealous!”
It hits me like a branding iron, hot and painful.
The questions, the doubts, the eye rolls as I tried to tell him about Allyson, the way he found problem after problem with our getting back together.
He laughs, but it’s sarcastic and twisted.
“I ain’t jealous, motherfucker. I’m scared.
I know how close to the edge you were after Allyson, after Mom, hell .
. . I know just how furious you were with all that shit with Dad.
And you ain’t got football to take it out on this time.
You ain’t even got the Bennetts since they’re family now.
“You’ve had a knot of anger inside your chest for so long that you didn’t even feel it anymore because you’d gotten so used to it,” Bobby says, “But it’s gone now.”
He pushes at my arm, and I let him, so stunned I don’t even reply before he throws one more knife my way.
“You think you’re the observant one around here, but it never occurs to you that we’re watching you too, does it?”
I have no idea what he’s talking about, but as he looks at the other guys, I follow his eyes around our tight circle.
They look ready to step in if we throw down, but also like they agree with Bobby.
“We’ve seen you look like you could chew nails and spit them out, beat the shit out of people, and literally growl like an animal.
Your nickname is Brutal, for fuck’s sake.
And now you’re all Mr. Sunshine and Rainbows.
Your shoulders are down, you smile all the damn time, and I swear you’re this close to skipping around.
If I see you with a kid on your shoulders, I’m calling bullshit. ”
“What. The. Hell. Are. You. Talking. About?” I enunciate slowly and clearly.
Brody clears his throat. “Uh, Brutal? He’s right, you know, though if a big fucker like you can skip, I’d pay good money to see it.
” He’s trying to make a joke to defuse the situation, but Brody’s not exactly a laugh-a-minute sort so it’s a bit flat.
“You’ve been different the last few weeks.
Especially since whatever happened last week. ”
He lifts his brows pointedly. But I didn’t tell Brody all the nitty-gritty of my night with Allyson after I tried to tell Bobby.
He hadn’t been particularly interested in listening.
Maybe I picked the wrong brother to celebrate the breakthrough with Allyson with.
Though looking at Brody’s brooding glare, maybe I should’ve just told Shayanne. She’d have been happy for me.
I sigh, taking my hat off and running my hands through my hair. “Okay, so I’m smiling? Shouldn’t my being happy make you happy? Isn’t that like a family thing we’re supposed to be doing? I mean, I know it’s been a while, but it seems like that’s a thing.”
Brody dips his chin. “It is, not that I’m some expert on family shit, but yeah . . . we’re happy for you or whatever.” We’re so great at talking about our feelings. “It’s just fast, real fast.”
My mouth gapes. “Fast? It’s taken ten years, for fuck’s sake!”
Bobby interjects then. “No, it’s been like a month. And most of that, you were at each other’s throat.”
“Because of a misunderstanding!” I boom.
Every man tenses his shoulders, ready for battle between Bobby and me.
“Ugh, damn it, Bobby! It’s not fast. It’s like we had this all planned out and things went sideways for way too long.
I lost her once, but I won’t do it again.
You’re right about one thing—this is what it should’ve been.
Her, me, a kid. A future. And I’m gonna grab on to this chance with both fucking hands and hold on tight because I love her. ”
“Fuck yeah,” Luke cheers, giving a slow clap.
I can’t help but glare at him a little. He might be on my side but he’s still with my baby sister.
Mark and James nod along with him. Of course they do.
They’ve got wives of their own. It’s just Brody and Bobby who’re looking like we’ve all lost our minds.
Fuck. I’m becoming a Bennett.
Brody relents, though, flashing an actual teeth-baring smile and reassuring me. “Well, okay then. Why didn’t you just say so?”
I whirl on him. “What?”
He holds up his hands. “I’m just glad to see you growing up or whatever big brother shit I’m supposed to say here. Help me out,” he says, looking at Mark. They’ve gotten to be better friends working the cows every day. It’s weird and grunty, but they seem to understand each other somehow.
Mark makes one of those typical grunts and then adds, “I’m the last one to give relationship advice, so don’t ask. But if she’s the one, don’t fuck it up.”
He acts like that’s some groundbreaking suggestion, and Luke and James nod along agreeably.
Brody shrugs. “Sounds about right to me.”
Bobby shakes his head, not convinced. “Fine. Whatever. Just . . . good luck, I guess.”
With that, he walks off. But at least he heads in the direction of the other logs, so while he’s mad at me, he’s still helping us get ready for the kids who’ll be here any minute.
I sigh as he leaves. We’ve always been close, but I don’t know how to fix this. I have to take this shot with Allyson. Hell, I’m already deep in it with her, so Bobby’s just going to have to trust me on this one.
“If you don’t mind finishing up the log circle, I think I’m going to go check on Allyson. See if she got the same interrogation I did.”
They don’t look the least bit upset at the dig, and I swear I see a couple of middle fingers fly out of the corner of my eye. I ignore them, too ready to lay eyes on Allyson.
At the house, I see Mama Louise and Allyson on the back porch peeling a huge pile of potatoes. I’m about to holler out a greeting when I hear something that stops me.
“Bruce told me a bit about the two of you.” Mama Louise makes it sound casual, but it’s anything but.
Allyson pauses her potato peeling. “He did?”
Mama Louise hums. “Seems like a second chance is something you both need. You planning on taking advantage of it?”
“Wow, that’s very . . . direct.” Allyson’s resumed her potato peeling with a manic energy that belies her nerves at the question.
Mama Louise is the queen of patience, so she waits Allyson out, silent and expectant.
Like a newbie, Allyson speaks, giving Mama Louise exactly what she wants.
“If you’d told me a few weeks ago that I’d be doing any of this—football, camping, Bruce .
. . I mean, not that I’m doing Bruce. Oh, God. ”
I can’t help but grin at the blush creeping up Al’s neck.
“I know quite what you mean, dear,” Mama Louise says easily. “I’m old, not dead. And John and I had a very happy marriage.”
Allyson’s laugh is small and uncomfortable, but she tries again.
“This whole thing with Bruce, I never expected it. I think it was something I wanted but I’d given up on a long time ago.
Maybe that’s why I was so scared?” She bites her lip, her voice quieter, and I have to strain to hear her.
“But I like it. He’s good with the boys, especially Cooper. And he’s good with me, to me.”
I hear the tiny hitch in her voice and remember how she’d said her ex ‘wasn’t nice’ to her. It makes me want to spoil her, treat her so well that she never wants for anything.
It makes me want to show her what love is supposed to be like.
This is going to be the best damn campout these kids and Allyson have ever had.