37. A Mullet, YesNo?
A MULLET, YES OR NO?
Jonathan
What clothes should I bring? What type of event is this River Days?
Connor
I donut know. Jeans and shirts
Swimsuit for tubing in river
Jonathan
I can cosplay cowboy. I can warble me some Willie Nelson
Connor
Please don’t
Jonathan
Lil Nas X then. I’d look good.
Connor
No
Jonathan
Dolly?
Connor
No regrettably
Jonathan
Cowboy Carter?
Connor
Yes but no
Yes in private
Just Jonathan in public. That’s enough
Jonathan
I’m not going to be too much?
Connor
You’re purr fact
Not a typo!!!
NGL a typo but I liked it
Lily plunked a full tea mug on Jonathan’s desk, and some sloshed onto the surface. He glared at her, but her flat stare went between him and the wall clock.
“Okay, I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring my lunch buddy. You’re right. But tea? Tea?”
“You looked real thirsty.” She stretched her sarcasm into at least ten syllables. “And I clearly don’t have the strong stuff you want, so you’ll have to suffer through my tea.”
He waited two beats, but then he couldn’t help it and cackled. “You are so bad at this. So bad. Thirsty? What I want? Ohmigod, did you even play sports if that is your trash talk game?”
“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “That was not trash talk.”
He pulled a tissue from the box on the corner of his desk and started to blot the spilled tea. “It certainly was not.”
“So, dinner tonight? At your place?” She was intent on collecting on the second promised dinner. She’d seen inside his apartment when she helped take the dresser to Connor’s, and the world hadn’t ended.
He’d scooped the litter box this morning and also vacuumed, so he might as well agree and end the torture.
Also, he owed her infinitely more because she’d swapped days off with him so that he could go see Connor and then found someone from the Bethel branch to also trade a day off.
“Can we do Korean? I sort of want some japchae.” Lily wouldn’t judge him. Well, she would, but for things he deserved, like why a librarian organized his books by color rather than alphabetically by author last name.
“What about a movie as well?” In the gap after Lily’s question, her lips formed a freshly painted curve.
Right, the HVAC guy was due today, thus the glossy bright-berry smack she’d applied and the hair loosened around her face. “I have to pack. And shop for a hostess gift for Connor’s mom, and—”
“I’ll help! You have lists?” She looked like one of those Willie Wonka kids faced with infinite candy, but not the good one. “I’ve seen you making lists.”
“That’s all I have.” He was more than slightly panicking.
She nodded several times. “We’ll do this. We’ll shop and then take dinner to your place and I’ll be your fashion consultant.”
Lord, no.
“We were on track until that last idea.”
Jonathan
I found jeans that scream “ranch” instead of “look at this ass.”
They suck but I bought them
Do I also need boots?
Connor
My old ones from middle school are around here somewhere. They’ll fit
Jonathan
Smug bastard
Connor
Also bring both jeans so I can choose
Please
I miss looking at your sass
Ash
Jonathan had been a polite host and mostly not checked his phone for messages from Connor until Lily left. But now, curled on the couch in his black and white gingham pajamas and red kimono, all coordinated but with no one to see him, he yearned for more than just messages.
Connor
Mom says she doesn’t want to clear out the office to fit the air bed, so oops, you’ll have to share with me
Unless you prefer bunking with Jess?
Connor had been waiting fifteen minutes for a reply without texting six more times, which meant he deserved a reward, Jonathan-style.
Jonathan
Tell me more about your sister
Connor
WAHT
She’s a stinky girl
Think the neighbor in Calvin and Hobbes that’s all
Wait you’re joking
Jonathan
I am
Four days until we see each other feels like a long time
Connor
I’m going to call you with video in a half hour after I shower. Letting you know.
In case you want to be reading.
Ready
In bed with lube kind of ready
Jonathan
You can’t call from the shower?
Connor
Dude it’s a regular house. I share a bath with Jess
Jonathan
Am I going to have more than one McMillan taking my skin care products?
Answer me
I was only planning to bring travel sizes but if THREE people are touching my stuff then I have to rethink and that is a lot right now
Connor sent a photo of Jonathan’s own coffee machine, creating questions about why that was on his camera roll, and then a random hairdryer from the internet, and suddenly Jonathan was in the middle of a recurring inside joke where he knew what was coming next and that was how people did relationships. That was everything.
Jonathan
Don’t think you can deploy references to the fancy equipment incident to get out of answering
He dropped a snap of himself, mussed hair and parted lips and definitely the red kimono of infamy.
Jonathan
Does your sister have her own products? Or am I going to be “sharing”?
Connor
Bring the big sizes.
My skin is very thirsty. And very dry. I need moisturizer and maybe lotion and definitely some rubbing.
Jonathan
That is very bad sexting
Frankly, I am surprised *not*
Connor
But I’m good at video so hit that button hit it hard
Jonathan
See above
Connor was glad his phone had a super-protective case, because texting while also dealing with ranch chores was a disaster in waiting.
Jonathan hadn’t been awake during this morning’s barn chores or second breakfast, but now he was riding out to the herd and Jonathan’s morning had begun.
Jonathan
I’m bringing my bike. Should I bring yours
Connor
I don’t have one
Jonathan
My spare one that you ride because you refuse to get a better one
Connor
Oh that
Jonathan
Yes. We can do the Painted Hills Scenic Bikeway together
Connor
It’s over 100 miles
Jonathan
We don’t have to do it all
Connor
It’s hilly
Shits almost ninety degrees
Itch
Its
Jonathan
TMI
Connor
I meant the temperature
And You honestly think you’ll want to cycle after riding my stallion
Jonathan
We can’t do that in your parents’ house
Wait are you talking about a real horse
Connor snapped a photo of the view between Cashew’s ears, looking at the ground. Cashew was only an average-sized quarter-horse, about fifteen hands tall, but the phone camera made the ground look farther away.
No need to mention that he was also a gelding.
Cashew’s ears looked good in the photo, but maybe he should take one with his own gloved hand in the image, showing his wrist over the top of the scuffed leather.
Connor
See for yourself
He sent both photos.
Connor
Have you ridden before
Jonathan
I’m going to be intentionally vague about my answer
Connor
We have a pony for you
Jonathan
I read a romance where the ex-hockey player had a pony on his family farm.
It was mean
The pony, that is
The hockey stud was the usual emotionally damaged grump redeemed by love and magic peen
Connor stared at the string of tiny images Jonathan sent after that terrible word. Two eggplants. Fireworks. Two hockey sticks. And a pony.
It’s a trap, his brain shouted.
In the normal way of things, Jonathan abhorred emojis, but after seven days apart, apparently the inability to lead Connor astray with his snarky raised eyebrow and twisted mouth had led him to the temptation of emojis.
If he sent a gif, Connor would have to text Lily for an intervention.
Jonathan had given him some books, some even had hockey glossaries in the front, and he wanted to say Jonathan was dangling those emojis in front of him, but no, dangling meant faking him out with awesome skill, not teasing him into making a mistake.
He could not remember if there was a specific term for that move, but Jonathan had perfected it.
Jonathan
Are you still there?
And then he sent a book cover and a link. It was indeed a farm boy hockey player. Fuck.
Connor
Im trying to not be peeved
Jonathan
About?
Connor
You aren’t reading baseball romance
Jonathan
I promise I’ll teach you to skate now that we are free from the tyranny of your twice-weekly softball schedule
Connor
Deal
Jonathan
I have an appointment at the salon tomorrow night.
Is a mullet de rigueur?
Connor
I should leave you on read
Jonathan
But you won’t