Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Elijah watched warily as Alistair came out of the pharmacy, a paper bag tucked under one arm and a frown on his face.
He set the bag in the back behind his seat and slid into the driver’s seat without a word.
Elijah was used to being ignored but not by Alistair.
Not since that first drive to Isaac’s home.
He couldn’t stop himself from saying something.
“I can explain–” he began, only to snap his jaw shut when Alistair side eyed him.
“Can you? In a way that doesn’t make it obvious that you’re making yourself suffer to make everyone else happy?”
He winced. There might be some truth to that.
“It’s… It’s not only to make others more comfortable.
It’s for me, too. Getting hired as a telepath is incredibly difficult.
If they see you as a threat, it’s nearly impossible.
I got… lonely. I just wanted to be around other people.
Suppressing my magic made it easier for me to do so.
You’ve seen the way they react to me. Could you imagine how much worse it would be if I wasn’t holding back? ”
“No,” Alistair growled. “I can’t. Mostly because I have no idea just how powerful you are. Isaac never mentioned your power level. How much are you holding back?”
He didn’t want to answer that. Most species were overjoyed when their magical children were born with the kind of power Elijah had.
Telepaths were the exception. The only place a powerful telepath was celebrated was in the criminal world.
A path Elijah never even considered. It went against his nature.
So he learned to suppress his magic to blend in better.
“You need to stop,” Alistair insisted without waiting for a reply.
Elijah shook his head. “No, I don’t. I just need rest. The pain will go away on its own.”
Alistair shot him a dark look before giving his attention back to the road. “You heard what the pharmacist said. You’re hurting yourself by suppressing your magic like that. You need to stop.”
“No.”
He wasn’t normally combative. Elijah didn’t like conflict in general. But he wouldn't stop suppressing his magic. He couldn’t go back to that life all alone. He’d rather die young than alone.
Alistair growled, and Elijah felt bad for refusing him after he’d been so kind in taking care of him, but he didn't continue the argument. They drove the rest of the way in silence, with Alistair silently stewing, and Elijah trying to ignore the weight of the emotions filling the car. He’d have better control if he wasn’t in so much pain, but he felt like asking for the pain potion would just reinforce Alistair’s resolve.
When they pulled into the driveway, the sun had already set.
There was no way of knowing if Isaac and Maverick were home since the glass was all reflective and didn’t show what was happening inside.
Maverick mentioned it was for privacy, and Elijah could understand that given the number of windows the home had.
Not wanting to be berated by someone else, Elijah bypassed the hall to the kitchen, heading for his room instead without a word.
The door was open, which meant Helios was probably out and about, but Isaac said he didn’t mind and any rooms they didn’t want the cat in remained closed to keep him from being where he wasn’t supposed to be.
He considered closing his door behind him, but Helios would take offense if he got locked out of Elijah’s room.
Instead, he headed for the bathroom. Maybe a shower in the dark would help with the pain.
The bedroom door shut behind him, making him jump, and when he spun around, he realized Alistair had followed him.
He opened his mouth to protest, but Alistair put up a hand to stop him.
There was something in his expression Elijah didn’t understand, and the emotions he was getting from the man were all twisted.
“Alistair…”
“First, you’re going to drink the potions. You’re still pale, and you shouldn’t have to suffer just because of me. When you’re through, I need to talk to you about something important. Understand?”
A little breathlessly, Elijah nodded. He’d never had someone so attentive to his needs before.
He felt his growing crush on the man across from him swell and swallowed hard when Alistair guided him to the couch and kneeled in front of him.
He wasn’t going to do anything, it wasn’t the right mood for that, but that didn’t stop Elijah’s mind from wandering into what if situations.
He felt his cheeks warm, and knew without a shadow of a doubt that Alistair would notice.
Even on a good day, Elijah couldn’t hide it when he blushed.
Everyone wanted fair skin until they realized the drawbacks.
Alistair didn’t mention it, taking each bottle out of the bag and handing them to Elijah. He swallowed each down, doing his best not to grimace at the taste. Some potion makers did extra to make sure their potions were palatable, but pharmacists didn't have the time most days, nor the patience.
After the potions were taken and the bottles set aside, Alistair let out a long breath.
He pushed to his feet, going only far enough to sit in the chair next to the couch.
Elijah missed the warmth of him the second he pulled away but didn’t say that out loud.
Instead, he watched the man across from him.
Alistair looked like he was struggling with how to talk about whatever was on his mind.
Elijah wished he could do something to help, but he could only sit there and wait for Alistair to speak.
“My family isn’t made of only powerful mages.
There are plenty in it who are average or even low-level.
But we do produce more powerful mages than other mage families.
For them, it might be one per generation.
For us, it was three.” He sat back, his brow furrowed and his gaze distant as he remembered.
“I was the first of this generation. Stronger than most of my family members by double at least. As I grew, so did my power. I was doing advanced level spells in elementary school, and my family only ever encouraged me. Maybe if they hadn’t, I wouldn’t have ended up where I did. ”
Elijah frowned. When he’d done his power reading on Alistair, he’d come up blank.
He’d assumed Alistair was born without magic and let it go.
Mage families sometimes had members without power.
It was rare, but it happened. It could often be a sore spot, though, so he never asked.
But if Alistair was that powerful, then how…
“All powerful mages are expected to become battle mages. We’re told young how honorable the profession is and how proud we would make our families if we succeeded.
What they failed to mention was how much you’d lose along the way.
The world isn’t safe, despite what the media might tell you.
I spent most of my career on missions protecting smaller communities from the forces that wanted to enslave or erase them.
It was… draining. And I saw a lot of death in my time in the military.
I knew by the time I retired, I wouldn’t be the same person who’d joined.
That bright eyed enthusiasm I’d felt was gone.
And when my little brother was born, I was terrified he’d end up just like me.
He excelled in areas I never had, and had the kind of connection to the spirits a mage could dream about.
Any time I was home with him, I tried to encourage him to expand his horizons. I was so afraid…”
Elijah felt a lump in his throat as he listened, his hands clenched into fists in his lap. He wanted to wrap his arms around the man, to do something to ease the pain a little. Despite how hands-on Alistair had been with him so far, Elijah wasn’t brave enough to make the first move.
“I had planned a vacation for the two of us before his coming of age ceremony. I wanted to talk to him, see if he would consider something other than joining the military. There are infinite opportunities for mages with his kind of talent. He didn’t need to be pressured to serve like I had.
But a few days before I was scheduled to go home, my commander came to us for one more mission.
People were going missing near the Irridien forest. We were just supposed to scout the area, see if we could pick up a trail, and head back. It should have been simple.”
Alistair closed his eyes against the pain in his chest as he recalled the memory. Thinking about it no longer sent him into a flashback, not with the magic blockers, but it didn't make it any easier for him.
“We had a full unit, plus a small contingency of human soldiers who were there as backup in case the kidnappings were human-related. We were trying to pick up a scent when everything went wrong.”
“Are you sure this is the right direction?”
“I told you everything I know,” Alistair said with a heavy dose of exasperation in his tone. They covered this already. He was getting a little tired of repeating himself.
Gio lifted his nose to the air, sniffing uncertainly. “I’m not getting their scents here. I honestly don’t know what I’m smelling.” He wrinkled his nose. “It’s not pleasant, whatever it is.”
After years of working together, Alistair knew better than to doubt Gio’s nose. He did question that description, though. “Be more specific. Unpleasant doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“Is it you?” Myra asked with a snicker. “You smell unpleasant to me.”
“Oh fuck off, Myra,” Gio complained. “It’s not like you smell like roses.”
They were all dirty by this point. To ensure no one saw them coming, they had to trek through the desert and grassland, far from any town with decent showers or baths.
What was supposed to take a day or two had stretched on for over a week.
Every time they’d consider heading back and switching out, they’d find some clue they were headed in the right direction, only to lose the trail not long later.
Clouds were sparse, so he couldn’t use his magic to gather them for any sort of rain to clean up with, and he couldn’t draw attention to them like that, even if there were some around.
Alistair shot Gio an impatient look. The werewolf sighed heavily. “I said I don’t know. It smells kind of… acrid. Tangy. No magic that I can tell, but–”
“Stop! Look out!”
The voice of one of the human military members cut through the air, making them all jump.
Alistair jerked around, taking a step back automatically.
He barely got a look at the man barreling toward him before he was shoved hard.
It made him stumble, but it was the blast that followed that threw him.
He went airborne, landing so hard on his ass that he worried he’d cracked his tailbone.
His ears rang from the force of the blast, and it took a minute for his hearing to come back.
When he opened his eyes, all he saw was blood.
“Several people were hurt, most of them human. They needed to be evacuated. I’m pretty sure that commotion was what drew the enemy’s attention.
A group of them showed up, and we were so disoriented from the blast, they got the upperhand a lot easier than they normally would have.
They disappeared with two members of my unit before I realized what was happening.
I cast a spell to protect the rest, but it left me vulnerable, and I was taken as well.
” His voice stuttered, and his chest tightened to the point that he couldn’t breathe.
A warm hand touched his, drawing him away from the awful memory. “You don’t have to keep going, if you don’t want to…” Elijah murmured, worry etched in his expression.
Alistair shook his head. He had to keep going, because Elijah needed to know that he understood. And that he had support. He did skip ahead, though. He didn't have the stomach to discuss everything that had happened in that cave.
“When they finally found us and brought us back, I was… broken. I lost close friends, things happened to me that were–” He grimaced.
“I just wasn’t the same person. I couldn’t trust myself.
And it wasn’t safe for me to be around others, no matter how hard I tried to fix it.
When it came down to a choice between keeping them safe or keeping my magic, I chose to protect others. ”