Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The horrified look was a little worrisome. Elijah hadn’t thought he’d need to say it out loud. He’d thought it would be obvious. People didn’t want to touch him. Finding someone willing to be intimate with him was like finding a needle in a haystack. Elijah had never bothered to try.
“Shit. And I just…” Alistair shook his head, eyes wide. “Fuck. I already felt like I was taking advantage, but now–”
Putting his fingers against Alistair’s lips to stop him, Elijah reassured him, “You didn’t take advantage. I was with you every step of the way.”
His reassurance seemed to help but just barely.
He still felt Alistair’s conflicted emotions.
It meant a lot to Elijah that Alistair cared so much.
But he absolutely wouldn’t take back what they’d just done.
It was the most connected Elijah had felt with someone in his entire life. He would never take that back.
Alistair’s fingers trailed through Elijah’s hair, drawing a hum of pleasure from him. He didn’t mean to come off so needy but after so long without physical touch, he soaked in everything Alistair gave him.
“How are you?” Alistair asked, brown eyes studying him carefully.
His automatic response to say he was fine was on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t want to dismiss Alistair’s concern. It meant a lot that he cared.
“I feel… light. Good. A little like my muscles are made of noodles as well, to be honest.”
Alistair snorted, and Elijah noticed the creases at the edges of his eyes that told him at one point in his life, Alistair smiled a lot. He made a vow to himself to make that happen again. Alistair deserved to be happy.
“That’s normal. Give me a second, and I’ll clean us both up.”
He moved to leave, and Elijah clung to him a little tighter, suddenly worried about what would happen next. Alistair didn’t mention a relationship or anything of the sort. He could have just been humoring Elijah. What else would a man do when he had someone begging and writhing beneath them?
“Elijah…”Alistair settled on top of him again, his weight mostly resting on his elbows as his fingers stroked Elijah’s hair. “I’m not leaving. But if I don’t clean us up, we’ll end up stuck together, and it won’t be pleasant.”
Elijah glanced down at where they were pressed together and wrinkled his nose. “Oh…”
“Yeah, oh,” Alistair chuckled. “Just give me a minute.”
Reluctantly, Elijah released his hold on Alistair and watched as the man rolled out of bed and headed for the en suite bathroom.
He was gorgeous, with tight muscles and a broad back.
And an ass worth drooling over. The only part of the image that made Elijah pause was the magical blockers.
They stood in glaring contrast to the rest of the man’s perfection.
Elijah hated them. And a part of him wondered if he could do something about it.
Without a tight grip on his magic, he could possibly do more.
He’d need to do some research though. He’d never infiltrated someone’s mind with the intention to change anything before.
But maybe there was something he could do.
Alistair said he couldn’t stay in touch with reality.
At the very least, Elijah could help with that.
He’d be able to tell him when things weren’t real.
Alistair came back with a wet cloth that was surprisingly warm. He cleaned up Elijah’s stomach with gentle swipes, and Elijah felt his face flush at the intimacy of the act. How did this feel just as intimate as the sex?
After tossing the cloth into the hamper, Alistair came back, crawling into bed and drawing Elijah into his arms without a second’s hesitation. Elijah felt another wave of emotions crash into him, this time his own. If he wasn’t careful, he would start to cry.
“How is your magic feeling? The pharmacist mentioned you’d be lightheaded.”
With his head resting on Alistair’s chest, he couldn’t see the man’s expressions, but he could read his emotions just fine thanks to his magic being free. Concern and affection. It made Elijah melt.
“I’m okay. It’s a little overwhelming, but…
” He shrugged. He wasn’t really sure what to say.
He had no intention of leaving his magic free like this.
He’d be chased out of Spellbound without even getting a chance to explain himself.
But at least here, and at home once the maintenance was finished, he could let his magic free more often.
“With the magic blockers, I can’t tell the difference. How much changed?” Alistair asked.
It felt wrong denying the man who was so cut off from the world. Still, he hesitated. Elijah had spent so long hiding his abilities, he’d never discussed what he was capable of with anyone. He wasn’t sure his parents even knew the whole truth.
“A great deal, I’m afraid. My range is… obnoxious, honestly. For example, your brother is feeling concerned, while Maverick is unbothered by whatever they’re discussing. I could possibly get surface level thoughts if I truly wished to, but this far away, I can ignore it.”
“Can you get thoughts from me?” Alistair asked.
Elijah avoided eye contact when he admitted, “If I focused on it, possibly. This close, I can feel all your emotions, down to the slightest shift.” He felt when concern flashed through Alistair and grimaced. “I promise, I’m not trying to be intrusive. You don’t need to be afraid of me.”
Alistair shifted to sit up, looking down at him. “Afraid of you? I’m not afraid of you.”
“I felt your concern just now,” Elijah pointed out, avoiding eye contact. “It’s okay, I understand your response especially after everything you’ve been through–”
He wasn’t expecting it when Alistair shifted to lay on top of him again. His gaze whipped up, startled, and the fierce determination in Alistair’s expression made him breathless.
“I wasn’t concerned about you in my head, Eli. I’m concerned about how you’ll be treated at Spellbound. Even suppressing your magic the way you have been, they treat you like a pariah. I don’t want them treating you worse just because of your ability.”
Elijah shook his head. “I won’t go to work with my magic free like this. Not only would that be a big indication that I’ve been lying since I started working, my coworkers wouldn’t feel safe around me. I couldn’t do that.”
“You can’t keep suppressing your magic,” Alistair argued. “It’s hurting you.”
“Losing my job would hurt me more,” he replied, shrugging one shoulder. “I can’t force them to accept me as I am, and I can’t go back to being alone. It is what it is.”
From the look on his face, Alistair wasn’t satisfied with that answer.
If he could come up with some kind of solution, Elijah would be open to hearing it, but he doubted that he could.
He had spent years trying to get his coworkers to accept him.
The few friends he had made weren’t enough to change the minds of all the employees at Spellbound.
His focus moved to the hallway, where Isaac was heading toward Elijah’s room. His heartbeat kicked up, and he jerked to look at Alistair again. “Isaac is coming.”
Alistair grunted but didn’t look like he had any inclination of hiding. Did he not care if people knew? What did that mean? Would he say it was just a hookup? Would he tell Isaac they were something more?
The knock at the door stalled Elijah’s spiraling thoughts, and he looked up at Alistair with wide eyes, wondering what he’d do next. When he called out to his little brother without even stopping to consider the implications, Elijah nearly swallowed his tongue.“What?”
Isaac hesitated, and Elijah could feel the intrigue in the mage’s emotions when he asked, “Alistair? Where’s Elijah?”
“In his room,” Alistair replied blandly. His voice said he was bored with the conversation, but the wicked smirk pulling at his lips said he enjoyed teasing his younger brother.
“Okay…” Isaac drew out the word, stalling for a moment before asking, “Are either of you coming to dinner?”
Like his body heard and wanted to respond, Elijah’s stomach growled petulantly. Using magic the way he had left him starved and in need of a boost. The potions had done their job with the pain, as had the time he spent with Alistair, but technically he was still recovering.
“We’ll be out in a minute,” Alistair called back. He didn’t immediately move away, instead waiting for a moment before calling out again. “Ear away from the door, Isaac. Don’t be a creep.”
Elijah felt the surprise from the other side of the door, as well as a swell of irritation. “I’m not a creep! You’re the one being vague and weird.”
“Go away.”
Isaac growled and stomped off without another word. Elijah had to cover his mouth with his hand to stop himself from laughing. Their relationship made him wish he was closer to his own brother. He loved seeing them interact.
“He’s going to ask a lot of questions when we go out there. If that makes you uncomfortable, I can bring you food in here,” Alistair suggested.
His amusement died, and he looked uncertainly up at Alistair, worried now that they were finally having this conversation.
“Would… Would you prefer that I stay here?”
That garnered him a flat look. “No, Eli. I’m not interested in hiding. But after what you said earlier, I’m assuming you’ve never had a relationship before. I want to move at whatever pace you’re comfortable with. If you aren’t ready to talk about it–”
“I don’t want to hide either!” he blurted, then flushed so bright red he felt like he might combust. “I just… didn’t know what to say. What is this? Was it just to comfort me or…”
He suddenly felt a desperate need to hide.
His hands came up automatically to shield his face.
He was embarrassed by the hesitation in his voice and worried that Alistair might feel obligated to stay because he was Elijah’s first. Elijah didn’t want to force him, but he also didn’t want to give him up.
How did people do this on a regular basis?
Were there some magic words he didn’t know about that explained that he wanted to date but wouldn’t hold it against him if he said no?
Alistair shifted his weight to one elbow, freeing up his hand to pull Elijah’s hands down and force him to look the man in the eye. His expression and his emotions were predominantly patient affection, and it took Elijah’s breath away.
“I’d like this to be the start of something, if you’re okay with it.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a real relationship, and I’m working through some things right now, but…
I find myself oddly protective of you. And I’ve had enough bad shit in my life.
I’d like to enjoy the good while I have it. ”