Chapter 30
Lucia
My anxiety elevates on the drive to the safe house. I’m still ignoring my brother-in-law, or maybe it’s him ignoring me, but either way, the silence is deafening.
I could feel Romeo pulling further and further away from me the longer I stayed. In the end, he practically pushed me out the door. Well, metaphorically speaking. He’s currently in no condition to push anyone.
He claimed he needed rest, which was probably true, but I still read between the lines. He’s shutting down and getting ready to run; I can feel it in my bones. Those walls of his are coming back up.
What he fails to realise is that he can run all he wants, but I’m not giving up. He may have stopped fighting for this marriage—for us—but I haven’t.
I’m stubborn like that. If I want something bad enough, I’ll move mountains to get it, and I want this man more than anything.
I unclick my seat belt when Dante pulls into the driveway, reaching for the door handle, but pause when I realise I don’t have the keys. I twist in my seat and hold out my hand.
“What?” Dante asks as his eyes move from my hand to my face.
“I’ll need keys to get inside.”
He reaches for his own belt. “I’ll come in with you.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” he asks, frowning.
“I don’t want you to come inside with me. I’ll be here for hours, cleaning up … packing. I heard Arabella’s voicemail. Your brother and his family have arrived. Go home and spend time with them. I’ll call you when I’m done.”
“Lucia—”
“I mean it,” I say, cutting him off. “I need some space … some time alone. I appreciate your offer, but this is something I need to do by myself.”
I couldn’t have returned to this house if things had ended differently, but since they didn’t, I need time to say goodbye to this part of my life. I don’t want to rush it.
My brother-in-law blows out a frustrated breath before reaching into his pocket to retrieve a set of keys, begrudgingly handing them over.
I glance down at my hand. “These are Romeo’s keys. How did you get them?”
“I had one of my men drive his car back from Wyalong. I’ve already organised for the back window to be replaced.”
“That’s nice of you. Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Lucia. He’s part of the Famiglia. I always look after my own.”
“Is he going to remain in the family after this?”
“He’ll always be like a brother to me, regardless of what happens.”
“Huh,” I huff as I reach for the door handle again, but before I can exit the vehicle, he replies.
“I’m not mad at you. It’s Romeo I’m pissed with. I trusted him to take care of you, and he took advantage of that … he took advantage of you.”
I release a small, sarcastic laugh. “Oh, please. You are so far off the mark, it’s laughable. If anyone took advantage of this situation, it was me.”
“You don’t have to protect him, Luc.”
“I’m not,” I snap, losing my patience. “He fought me from day one. Even when I implemented Operation Takedown. Even after we got married, he still fought it. He’s under some delusion that he’s not good enough for me … for anything real. He’s wrong. He’s more than I deserve.”
“I agree he’s a better man than he gives himself credit for. He’s fiercely loyal, even when he doesn’t have to be. His mother treated him like crap his entire life, and yet he never walked away. He stayed with her, stood by her, even when it would have been easier to let go.”
“I hate that woman with every fibre of my being. If I ever have the misfortune of seeing her again, I’ll kill her myself.”
“There’s no need. She’s gone.”
I gasp as my head whips in his direction. “You whacked her?”
“I was going to,” Dante admits in a low voice as he bows his head. “But by the time my men got there, she’d beaten us to it. She overdosed.”
I press a flattened palm to my chest as my eyes widen. “Does Romeo know? He didn’t say anything.”
“Not yet,” he replies with a tired sigh. “He’s dealing with his own shit right now. I’m going to have to break it to him eventually, though.”
“He’s a good man, Dante, so don’t you dare hurt him. I swear, I’ll never forgive you if you do.”
He exhales. “He’s my best friend, Luc. He’ll have to face some repercussions when he’s well enough, but I could never physically harm him. Not like that.”
My throat tightens. “He fought to stay alive until the very end … until he knew I was safe. The second that last bullet left his gun, when the final man dropped, so did he.” My voice cracks as I speak because the memory is still too raw and vivid.
I think that moment will haunt me for the rest of my life.
The first thing I did when I entered the safe house was burst into tears. The time I spend here with Romeo will go down as some of the best of my life, and I hate that it’s all coming to an end.
I’m going to miss this place, but more than anything, I’m going to miss spending every waking moment with him.
After I went out the back, showed Ki-Ki some extra love, then brought him inside and cooked him a massive feast, I got to work on the rest of the house.
The dog has followed me everywhere. Every room I enter, he’s hot on my heels. I think he can sense something is wrong.
My things are packed, and my suitcases are sitting by the front door.
When I enter Romeo’s bedroom, the first thing I do is circle the bed, kneel at the side he slept on, and lift his pillow to my face to inhale his scent.
I catch myself doing the same thing as I pull each item of clothing from his drawer, packing them neatly into his luggage. I’ve done some stupid stuff where he is concerned, but even I can agree that sniffing all of his possessions is weird.
When I reach the bottom drawer, I come across a large white envelope tucked in the back.
Inside, I find the marriage certificate Father Flannery gave us after the ceremony.
I pull it out and briefly hug it to my chest. This is just the commemorative keepsake, not the official certificate, but I’m touched that Romeo kept it.
I gently place it on the bed and reach back into the envelope, pulling out his passport next.
A smile tugs at my lips as I gaze down at the serious-looking photo of him inside. This man is beautiful, even when he scowls. But his smile will always be my favourite look on him, because holy moly, when he relaxes and lets his guard down, he’s breathtaking.
I lean in and press a gentle kiss to his photo, wishing it were him in front of me instead. When he not-so-subtly told me it was time to leave the hospital earlier, I tried to kiss him goodbye, but he turned his head at the last second, and my lips barely grazed his cheek.
It was in that very moment that I found clarity; he was truly shutting me out.
My eyes scan over his information, and I still can’t believe our middle names are so similar. It is probably just a coincidence, but it feels like kismet, as if we were meant to be together from the very beginning.
I look at his date of birth and see he’ll be celebrating another year around the sun early next month.
It broke my heart when Romeo said nobody had ever done anything for his birthday. After Mamma died, my sister stepped in and continued the tradition she had started, always making sure my birthday was celebrated and special.
I commit that date to memory. He has me now, and I won’t let his birthday slip by unnoticed going forward.
When I close the book and go to place it back inside the envelope, I see two more smaller items at the bottom.
A diamond ring and a folded note.
I reach in, pulling out the ring and letting the band rest between my thumb and forefinger. The large diamond catches the light, scattering it in dazzling shards around the room. It’s breathtaking.
Without a second thought, I slip it onto my finger next to the gold wedding band, and a sudden tightness grips my chest.
Did he buy this for me?
Did he really think this far ahead?
Did he hope for a future with me too, even if he’d never said those words aloud?
I press my hand to my mouth, trying to steady the sudden rush of emotions. For a moment, all the fear, anger, and uncertainty melts away, leaving only the quiet and impossible hope that maybe, just maybe, he meant the words he spoke to Dante on the video after his surgery.
Reluctantly, I slip the ring off my finger and put it back where I found it.
I probably shouldn’t be going through his personal things, but he’s so closed off that at times he feels like a stranger.
I want to get to know him better. The real him.
The good, bad, and ugly parts. The man I’ve seen snippets of during our time here together.
I debate whether to look at the piece of paper. I’m thinking it’s just a receipt, but when I unfold it, I realise that’s not what it is at all.
It’s a note he wrote … to me.
To me!
Lucia,
Even if this ends the way we said it would, I want you to know what you mean to me. You’ve changed me in ways I never imagined, and every moment with you, whether stolen or shared, is a part of me I’ll never regret.
I’ve done my share of stupid shit over the years, but loving you isn’t one of them. Even when I stumble, the choices I make somehow bring me back to you. You’re the one constant I can’t imagine living without, and I’ll carry that truth with me, no matter what.
I’ll always protect you, even if I’m not the man you deserve. I may falter, I may even fail, but I’ll never stop trying to keep you safe, to keep you close, and to honour what we have, even when no one else understands it.
Even when I don’t fully understand it myself.
I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and reread it, trying to etch his beautiful words into my memory.
When I’m done, I refold the note and hesitate as I go to tuck it back into the envelope with the rest of his things. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself. I slip it into my pocket instead.
I’m keeping this.