Chapter 14 Mabel
MABEL
As the phone rings, I check under the stalls for the tenth time to make sure I’m actually alone.
I am alone. I made sure of it before dialing the number, but I’m also a little paranoid right now.
If this were to get out to the media...I cringe.
It would be a circus, and the tiny bit of privacy I’ve managed to cling to would go up in smoke.
My palms start to sweat just thinking about it. Fuck, it’s the last thing I want—
“Hello, this is Alaina Caldwell.”
My back stiffens immediately, and I force a swallow before responding.
“Ms. Caldwell. Hi. It’s Mabel Rossi.”
“Yes, hello, Ms. Rossi. How is your tour?”
“Good so far. We’re in Adelaide this weekend, so the venue is smaller than we’re used to. I’m looking forward to the more intimate setting.”
“More intimate meaning eleven thousand people instead of ninety thousand?”
“Exactly,” I say with a laugh. I always forget how different our situation is from so many other artists. I shake my head with a smile and switch gears. “I want to thank you for accommodating me with the time difference. I know it’s early in New York.”
“It’s not a problem. I’m glad we can make it work. I was beginning to worry you’d had second thoughts.”
I glance at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and sigh. “Honestly, I did.”
And third. And fourth.
It was my conversation with Aurora that finally solidified my decision.
I’ve been replaying it over and over in my mind.
The way she talked about her family. How much pain I heard in her voice when she spoke of them.
She loved them fiercely, and they were taken from her.
She can’t see them, or hug them, or laugh with them ever again.
There are no future plans. No birthdays.
No vacations. The chance for those opportunities is gone, and my heart broke for her.
And then...
You must have had a name, she said.
Is that true? If they’d kept me for a few weeks, they must have named me. Right?
I watch my brows bunch together in the mirror as the questions in my head grow louder.
What if I did have a name? What if I was more than just an abandoned baby? What if I was wanted? What if my chance isn’t gone? My chance for plans and birthdays and vacations. What if it’s all right in front of me, and I’m wasting it?
“Well, I’m glad to hear you didn’t completely change course because I’ve got some news.”
My lawyer’s voice is positive despite it being four-thirty in the morning where she is, and it stokes the embers of nerves in my chest. Excitement. Anxiety. I’m feeling it all, so I cut right to the point.
“Did the private investigator find my birth mother?”
I can hear the smile when she answers.
“She did.”
My head is in a fog as I leave the bathroom.
My birth mother is a vet tech living in Georgia with her husband and two kids. And she’s young. That’s the part that has shaken me the most. My birth mother is only forty-four, meaning she was only fourteen when she had me. She was practically a kid.
Fourteen. That’s the age of her oldest daughter. Well...
Her second oldest daughter, I guess.
I have two sisters. Fourteen and twelve. Brynn’s age. Would they be friends? Cousins, sort of, I guess. Do my sisters look like me? Do they know about me? Do they listen to my music?
My thoughts are spinning.
I have a mom and two sisters who are out there living happily in Georgia.
The private investigator gave my lawyer all their information.
Address, phone numbers, emails. I know where my mom works.
I know where my sisters go to school. I know one of them plays basketball and one plays piano.
I know all of it. I could call them right now if I want to.
Could fire up the jet and show up on their doorstep.
But is that what I should do? Is that what I want to do?
Would they even want to hear from me?
They could have found me, too. They could have hired the PI just like I did. They could have searched.
If they wanted to, they would have. But...
God, there are so many unknowns. So many moving parts. No matter what I do, it’s a leap into darkness. There’s a best possible and a worst possible outcome, and both are equally probable. Both are equally terrifying.
I’ve never cared so much about odds before.
What if I was wanted?
But what if I wasn’t?
I take a deep breath and attempt to shove my anxious thoughts aside as I get closer to the dressing room. Maybe I shouldn’t have done this right before a show, but I was hoping the energy on stage would help to clear my mind. Now I’m not so sure.
I let myself in and smile at Red as Ziggy attacks my legs.
“Ooof, beast.” I scratch between her ears. “I love you, too.”
My eyes scan the room, seeking Aurora out without my permission.
My eyes skip right over Sav and Claire to find her, and when they do, the knot of nerves in my stomach loosens slightly.
I grab a mineral water from the minifridge and join the three of them on the small leather sectional.
They’re mid-conversation as I sit down next to Sav.
Claire gives me a smile and a wave, but she doesn’t stop talking to Aurora. When I hear the topic of discussion, I’m glad she doesn’t.
“So where did you and Brady meet?”
“Is Brady your husband?” I butt in, trying my best to sound normal. Trying my best not to frown, which is difficult.
There’s no denying the jealousy burning inside me. The attraction is bad enough. But add in jealousy? That’s a recipe for fucking disaster. Doesn’t stop me from needing her answer, though.
Flicking her eyes to me, Aurora nods. “Yes, Brady is my husband.”
Brady is a dumb name, but I don’t say that out loud. She looks back at Claire with an uncomfortable smile.
“I’ve known him my whole life. He was one of my brother’s best friends.”
“Were you high school sweethearts?”
“No, actually. We didn’t date until college.”
“And you’ve been married for how long?”
I could kiss Claire for asking these questions. The answers might irritate me, but I’m salivating for them. Aurora darts her eyes from Claire to me and back.
“Eighteen months.”
A year and a half. That means she probably got married around twenty-one. And if he’s her older brother’s friend...
“How old is Brady?”
Surprise passes over Aurora’s face at my question, and she blinks twice before she answers.
“He just turned twenty-nine.”
My lips tighten. It takes restraint not to unleash a deluge of questions, but I don’t. I can’t because Sav interjects, and I know it was on purpose.
“Well, I can’t wait to meet him. Has he said anything about my offer?”
I whip my eyes to her. “What offer?”
“I told Aurora I’d fly Brady out anytime he wanted to visit. Fuck, I offered to let him come on tour, even.”
A frown takes over before I can stop it, and Sav lifts an eyebrow. I fix my face and give her a saccharine smile.
“How benevolent of you.”
Sav’s eyes narrow as they scan my face, reading me in that annoying way that she does. I turn my forced smile on Aurora.
“Well? Will the hubs be joining us?”
Aurora laughs awkwardly and keeps her eyes trained on her lap. She’s deliberately avoiding looking at me. I know it.
“No, he won’t be coming to visit. He won’t take the time off work.”
To say I’m sad I won’t get to meet Brady is a lie, but my frown still returns. Aurora didn’t say he can’t take time off work. She said he won’t. I say the next thing before I can stop myself.
“He won’t take time off work for an all-expenses-paid international trip with his wife? It would be like a second honeymoon.”
“We didn’t go on a honeymoon.” She shifts her weight on the couch cushion and shrugs. “Anyway, he’s trying to get a promotion. It’s important.”
I feel Sav’s and Claire’s eyes on me, but I don’t take mine off Aurora.
The topic obviously makes her uncomfortable, but I can’t quite tell why.
Her face, normally so expressive, isn’t usually this difficult to decode.
Is she upset her husband won’t take time off work to visit?
Is that why she was crying in the bathroom?
Or is there something more behind the stiff posture and timid tone?
I drop my eyes to her bare left hand again. Still no ring. It hurts, she’d said. What did she mean by that? Is it truly because the ring is too small, or is there another reason?
The skin on the back of my neck prickles with awareness. There’s something more here. Something concerning, yet less visible.
Just what kind of relationship does Aurora have with her husband?
She doesn’t talk about him unless asked. I haven’t seen her text or call him even once. And then the constant apologizing. It’s habitual. An immediate impulse response. I think back to our conversation during our hike.
It’s instinctual for you, isn’t it?
What?
Apologizing.
To my knowledge, Hammond hasn’t taken time off to visit her in a while. Not in a year, at least. It hurts, she said.
My stomach tightens.
“You said he was your brother’s friend?”
She brings her eyes to mine slowly. “Yes.”
“And when was the accident?”
I swear I can hear the air in the room crackle. Sav’s disapproving stare burns into the side of my face, but I’ll deal with her later. I need to know. There’s something here. I know it. I’m just missing some pieces...
“Four years ago.”
Her words are a whisper, and I mentally fumble through her answers. Eighteen months. Four years. Her brother’s best friend. They didn’t date until college—until she was in college, because he’s five years older than she is—and likely not until after she’d lost her family.
There’s something here. Something bigger. I just can’t—
A knock on the dressing room door breaks our silent stare off, and we all turn to find Jonah walking in with Teddy in his arms. Claire jumps up and meets them. She takes Teddy, then Jonah cups Claire’s face and kisses her deeply. Their daughter giggles and Sav groans.