Chapter 33 #3
She walked all the way around him, touched each scar on his back with her fingers first, then with her lips.
He shuddered each time her mouth landed against his skin.
The salty taste and smooth texture made her hunger for more.
Made her body vibrate with need. When she came around in front of him again, the desperation in his eyes was different.
It wasn’t about the past. It was about now . . . about her.
Then she knew exactly what she wanted. To prove she could make him feel again. To prove she could feel again. Her fingers closed on the snap of his jeans. Her heart thumped hard, making her light-headed and clumsy. A simple button shouldn’t have been so difficult to dislodge.
He touched her. Finally. He closed his hand over one breast. She gasped, felt the tingle in her stomach and lower, much lower.
It felt good. She renewed her efforts to open his jeans.
Had to touch him there. She wanted to know every part of him .
. . to taste and smell him . . . all of him.
She was like a kid at Christmas, couldn’t wait to see what came next.
Pushing her hand away from his fly, he lifted her in his arms. She cried out when his mouth closed over that same breast he’d measured with urgent fingers.
His mouth was equally urgent; he sucked hard.
Her fingers delved into his hair, needing to encourage him.
Silky, thick hair, but her senses could not stay focused on one place.
The feel of his tongue on her nipple, of his lips curved around her .
. . had her tingling all over. He kissed his way to the other breast, giving it the same treatment as the first. She watched, unable to take her eyes off the way he looked, the sculpted features of his face.
He clamped his arm tighter around her waist to hold her steady against his chest, pulled her legs around him, and dropped to his knees.
Then he lowered her to the ground and came down on top of her.
The friction and weight of his chest against the damp flesh he’d tormented with his mouth had her desperate for more.
His fingers tangled in her panties, ripped them from her body.
She trembled, felt herself moisten in anticipation of what came next.
Just when she thought the tension could go no higher, his gaze collided with hers. The tortured look she saw there made her want to cry . . . made her want to cradle him against her body, inside her body, until the pain and emptiness were gone.
She had to touch his face. He shuddered and hesitation edged into his stark gaze. He went up on all fours, taking his weight off her, pulling away.
“I don’t have a condom.”
As much as she knew she should, she didn’t care. She twisted her fingers in his hair and jerked his face down to hers. “I don’t care. I started this; you’ll finish it.”
His lips flatted with a determination of his own.
Good. Maybe if he was pissed off, he’d do what she wanted him to.
As if he’d read her mind and intended to show her differently, he manacled her wrist, yanked her hand from his hair, but ensured their lips remained no more than a scarce whisper apart. “Make me,” he growled.
Okay. She would. This wasn’t some unfamiliar foreign language .
. . this was as natural as breathing. The last of her inhibitions fled as she yanked her hand free of his hold and wrenched his fly open the rest of the way.
He groaned. Using her hands and then her bare foot, she shoved the worn, soft denim over his hips and down his legs.
With no briefs in the way, his full erection brushed against her thigh.
She gasped. The heat of him ignited a new ache.
He didn’t move a muscle even as she lifted her hips in anticipation.
She arched upward, rubbed against him, just barely endured the sweet fiery shock of contact without screaming from the pleasure of it.
He still didn’t move . . . but it cost him. The price was etched in the stony features of his face.
She was this close to shattering into a million needy pieces at nothing more than the feel of him against her skin.
She would be damned if she would fall apart alone.
She braced one hand on his shoulder and closed the other around the part of him she wanted inside her.
She lifted her hips again, guiding that hard tip to the spot that burned so insistently.
When he didn’t thrust, she did, forcing him inside, but only a mere inch.
She made a sound too desperate to describe at the exquisite pressure of initial penetration, however shallow.
She panted, felt herself stretching to accommodate him.
Still, she wanted more. She clasped his shoulders more tightly, with both hands now, tried to lift her hips higher, but he shifted his own, keeping her from achieving her goal.
“Just do it,” she urged. “I know you want to.” The charge of sensations rushing through her was too much. She needed to hurry.
He stared into her eyes, his icy, his body unmoving.
She squeezed that inch nestled snugly inside her. A guttural sound ripped past his lips. His nostrils flared and something besides the fury burned in his eyes. And in that moment of distraction, she surged upward, going high on her tiptoes. She cried out at the sweet pleasure.
He caught his breath.
Her body shuddered with the need to move . . . to feel the friction of him sliding in and out of her in that ancient rhythm that was printed on their very DNA.
He remained perfectly still. She gritted her teeth to hold steady.
The muscles of her legs screamed in protest at the awkward position.
But she didn’t know any other way to do this, and dammit, she was winning .
. . his entire body trembled violently with his efforts to hold back.
That he resisted only made her more determined. God, she needed desperately to move.
“Why?” he demanded.
That single, guttural word made her heart pound harder.
She wet her lips, searched those gray eyes so cluttered with confusion and need . . . a need he wanted to deny. “Because I want you.” Her body hummed with that truth. She needed him . . . needed to feel this.
Then she moved. Up and down, just an inch, then two.
Even that little bit felt amazing, made her muscles clench hungrily.
She held on to his shoulders . . . let her body guide her.
Again. And again. Deeper. The momentum increasing as her body rushed toward climax.
She was vaguely aware of his rigid hold starting to crumble.
Felt his resistance faltering. But his denial no longer mattered.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders . . .
her body arched higher, took in more of him, when she’d thought for sure she’d reached her limit.
And then she couldn’t think anymore. She could only feel herself flying apart.
She collapsed on the cool dirt, breaking the contact of their bodies.
For long seconds she couldn’t open her eyes.
When she did, the first thing she saw was him watching her melt after having come undone .
. . the cost of restraint devastating his face, thawing the ice in his eyes, and revealing the uncertainty.
His damp, rock-hard penis still pulsed with need against her thigh.
“You coward,” she choked out between gasps for air. Her body was frantic for more of him. Something electric flowed over her skin . . . vibrated through her muscles.
“Tell me how much of me you want,” he murmured against her mouth, his teeth nipping, tugging at hers lips.
The feel of his weight . . . of his skin against hers made it impossible to think clearly. But there was one thing she knew with complete certainty. “I want all of you.”
He thrust hard, fully inside her. She cried out his name as her vaginal muscles clamped around him, increasing the already unbearable friction.
Yes, she wanted him. She wanted the contrasting texture of his powerful thighs rasping against her skin .
. . the deep, stretching penetration of him filling her so completely.
She didn’t want it to stop . . . she needed it .
. . felt consumed by his strength and power.
His hand pushed between her and the dirt, fingers splayed against her bottom, pulled her more tightly to him. His lips brushed her cheek as he ground his hips into her. “Had enough?”
She shook her head, tried to open wider for him.
He trembled, swore at his own weakness. He straightened, settled fully on to his knees, with her lifted in front of him.
He started to move faster. The incredible sensation was very nearly unbearable.
She urged him on with frantic, whispered pleas until he lost control.
The sounds of his desperation made her want to see .
. . to watch him losing total control. The ferocity of their synchronized release rendered her helpless and left her shivering with the intensity of the receding sensations.
One strong arm swept around her waist and pulled her up against his chest, sending his still-throbbing erection deeper inside her and stealing her ragged breath.
Sitting back on his heels with her nestled in his lap, their bodies still intimately connected .
. . he pressed his face into her hair and fought to catch his breath.
“I never stopped wanting you . . . even when you thought I was a monster.”
The sound of his voice, the feel of his powerful muscles made her giddy.
She’d come here to tell him that she knew the truth. She hadn’t meant for this to happen. Or maybe she had. Maybe she’d needed it . . . needed to give herself to him this way for reasons she would still be sorting years from now.
She’d made so many mistakes already. What if this was just another?
The warm feelings that bonded her to him so fully started to fade.
She hadn’t considered any consequences for her .
. . or for him. Hadn’t thought her intentions through.
She’d put him in prison and now she did this?
Her parents were right; she did need help.
“I should go.” She pushed his arm away and got up. The loss of contact, the feel of him sliding out of her body, was like losing a part of herself.
She grabbed her clothes, haphazardly jerked them on. When she finally looked up again, he’d tugged on his jeans.
“Emily.” He reached out to her, his voice low, soft.
She backed away. Allowing him to touch her right now with any sort of tenderness would be her second mistake of the day.
“I . . . have to go.”
She’d been wrong. He wasn’t a coward. She was.
She’d wanted him to take her this way . . . brutally, crudely, to punish her.
Maybe, just maybe, if he’d been cruel, she could have lived with what she’d done to him. Instead, he’d made her care even more for him, and that was the most unbearable pain of all.