Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Felix worked in the store with his domineering father through two weeks of pure hell.
He longed to be on the open prairie, riding fences and herding cattle with Joey.
He found being indoors in a warm building, working alongside a man who displayed no concern or compassion, stifling both in temperature and enjoyment.
Every day, he would get up, wash, and dress, then go to open the store with his father.
Every evening, he came home from the store, ate the bland meal his mother felt obligated to prepare for her husband and children, and listened to his siblings go on and on about how much fun they had playing outside.
Friday afternoon of the second week, as Felix rearranged a display, a vase fell to the floor with a loud crash, scattering shards of glass. He stood gazing at the scattered pieces, knowing what was coming next.
“Clean up the broken glass, boy.” His father boomed from the second-floor office. “I’m docking your pay two bits for that piece.”
At his father’s words, something inside of him snapped. “Father, I’m not cleaning this up,” Felix shouted. “You don’t pay me enough to afford this stupid piece of cheap glass. I’ve had enough of you and this store. I’m leaving.”
“Felix, do not disrespect your father.” Cornelius boomed, bounding down the stairs.
Felix stood firm, clenching his fists and breathing hard. “Why not?” Felix’s anger boiled over, and he crossed the line between mild acceptance and adult independence. “You never show respect for me. I learned disrespect from you.”
“What?” Cornelius shouted. He stomped to where Felix stood, boots crunching on broken glass.
“I set a new record in calf roping, and you did not mention it once. You shipped me off to the ranch to learn to be a man, but you never asked how much I learned. You stood over me after my rodeo victory and demanded my return to help you in the store. And you expect me to date, no, you expect me to marry Emmaline, a woman I cannot tolerate. You can’t even call me by my first name unless you’re angry with me.
You call me boy. How do you think it makes me feel?
” Felix expressed his true feelings to his father for the first time.
“Don’t speak to me with that tone of voice,” Cornelius huffed, red in the face and balling his fists.
“I’m going back to the ranch where I have love and caring, and they call me by name, tell me when I’ve done well, and encourage me when I need help.”
“Get out!” Cornelius shouted, raised his arm, and pointed to the door. “If you want to leave, leave. But if you walk out, you’re out for good.” He stabbed at Felix’s chest with his finger. “I don’t want you in the house or this store.”
“Fine.” Felix let his father know he was not about to be bullied. “I hoped for a chance to return to the ranch. Thanks for kicking me out.” He turned and walked. He would not give his father the pleasure of seeing him run, but when he rounded the street corner, he ran all the way to the house.
At the house, he ran upstairs. He stripped off the clothes he wore at the store, then rolled them up and put his belt around them.
Since he planned never to return, he took what fit in his saddlebags.
He retrieved a small envelope from the top drawer of his bureau, safely hidden.
The gold cross and delicate chain his grandmother gave him were inside the envelope.
He hadn't taken it with him before because being shipped off to the ranch made him uncertain.
Now, he needed to take it and as many possessions as he could carry.
Wearing it was the easiest way to keep track of it.
He fastened it around his neck, then put on his ranching clothes and the hat Joey gave him.
Downstairs, he found Helen in the kitchen.
He needed to tell her what happened and say goodbye.
“Helen, I’m leaving. Father and I argued, and he kicked me out. Told me to leave the store and the house. I’ve endured enough of this loveless existence. I’ll go insane if I stay.”
“Felix, I expected this.” She stopped peeling potatoes and looked at him. “I am surprised you stayed as long as you did.”
“I’m sorry, Helen. You and I always talked, and I'll miss that.”
Helen paused, looking down at the sink. “You’re in love with Joseph, aren’t you?” Helen spoke in a whisper as she turned to him.
Felix remained silent for a moment, stunned by her question. Then asked, “How did you know?”
“It showed when you introduced me to him and his family. I never saw you smile as much as you did that day. I knew you were happy.”
“Helen, you don’t understand what it’s like to be in a family that exhibits love and caring. The Sterlings welcomed me into their home. Mr. and Mrs. Sterling asked me to call them “Pa” and “Ma.” They treated me like their own son. I never experienced such happiness.”
“And Joseph?”
“Joey and I became friends on the first day. Then I got a letter from Father. He never used my name in the letter, said he loved me, or asked how I was doing. He only said Emmaline waited for me.”
Helen laughed. “Father is fixated on you marrying Emmaline. At least I won’t worry about having her for a sister-in-law.”
Felix chuckled. “After I got Father’s letter, I tried to make Joey hate me.
” He paused and sighed, memories crowding his mind.
“He told me he loved me, but I didn’t want that.
I didn’t want Joey to get hurt by me, so I pushed him away.
My plan didn’t work. I’ve never felt this way about anybody, Helen.
Joey makes me happier than anyone in the world. ”
“I’ll miss you, Felix, but I want you to be happy. Will you come back and see me?”
Felix shook his head. “Not if father is here.”
“Father and Mother are visiting her sister in San Antonio at the end of August. Maybe you can come then.”
“That sounds good, Helen. Joey and I can make a trip to town, and we can all visit.”
Felix reached out and hugged Helen.
“Tell Mother I said goodbye, and tell Margaret and Winston I love them.” He kissed Helen on the forehead and walked to the stables to saddle up his horse. He was leaving for good. Helen stood on the back porch and waved to him as he rode west.