14. Dax
DAX
W hen I knocked on the door of Travis’s apartment, Corbin answered the door with a gun aimed right at my heart.
“Put that damn thing down. You knew it was me.”
“I don’t take chances. You know you don’t either.”
Corbin didn’t move the gun, and his hand remained steady. I liked to tease him, but I was damn proud of how far he’d come. If it came to it, he just might shoot me to protect Beau and Travis. “Corbin, seriously, what the fuck are you doing?”
He grinned. “Debating whether to let you in.”
“I’ll come in if I want to.”
“No, you won’t.”
I grabbed his gun arm, spun him around, and twisted his arm behind his back.
Travis jumped up from the couch, but Beau put out an arm to stop him. “That’s how their family shows affection.”
“Seriously?”
Corbin laughed as Dax let him go. “Someday I’m going to win against you.”
Dax rolled his eyes. “Not in this lifetime.”
“What did you learn?” Beau asked, suddenly serious.
“Not as much as I’d hoped.”
“Is he…” Travis was pale. If he had this much trouble with what I did, how the hell was this going to work?
Corbin took Travis’s arm. “Have a seat.”
“I’m okay. I just… This is all…”
I helped Corbin lead him back to the couch. “You shouldn’t care what happens to that bastard.”
“I don’t. I want him dead. I just… I don’t like thinking about it.”
Memories from our childhood came flooding back. “Shit, you’re still squeamish.”
I remembered one time when Ambrose had slipped on the bank and slid into the bayou.
He’d cut himself on something metal that was hidden under the murky surface.
The gash was long and deep, and I had tried to make him go to the ER, but our uncle insisted that pouring some whiskey on it and using a few butterfly bandages would work just as well as anything “those damn doctors would do.” He still had a wicked scar.
Ambrose had been fine, and my main concern had been infection, but Travis had nearly passed out. Beau ended up piggybacking him back to my uncle’s house.
Travis’s cheeks turned pink. “Yeah, I am.”
Beau stepped into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. “Drink this.”
“Jean-Charles isn’t dead yet. He just wishes he was. We’re holding him in case he can be of further use. I walked the perimeter of the property here, and there was no sign that anyone has the place under surveillance, but I’ll be staying here just in case.”
I refused to look at Corbin because if I did, I might give myself away. I could keep my face blank in front of any enemy, but my little cousin was really good at taunting me.
I explained the few details I’d learned about LePlatt’s organization, and we all agreed to talk more the next morning.
Once the door closed behind Beau and Corbin, Travis laid his head back against the couch and let out a long breath. “I really didn’t want to involve all of you in this.”
“Too bad. You’re getting help, like it or not.”
“I think Corbin knows about… us.”
I nodded. “Yeah, he does, but don’t worry. He’s not going to tell Beau.”
“How long will it take Beau to figure it out himself? Are you sure this is…”
“I said you were mine, Travis. I wasn’t playing with you. There’s no going back now.”
“So you’re… You still… want me?”
I forced myself to really think about my words.
Instinct had kicked in, and I’d asserted my need to possess him, but when I thought about who I was, how much I’d enjoyed making Jean-Charles bleed and suffer, how I’d laughed when he’d screamed as I’d burned his skin, I couldn’t help but think Travis deserved better.
“I do, but I also want what’s best for you. Maybe you should try to get some rest, and I should stay on guard outside.”
I turned toward the door, but Travis stopped me from leaving.
“Dax, I talked to Beau. I told him everything… or at least enough for him to understand. I don’t ever want to relive all of that.”
He needed comfort. I couldn’t possibly walk away now. I pulled him into my arms, and he rested his head against my chest. “It’s okay. You don’t need to tell us the details. It’s just good that he knows you wouldn’t have willingly hurt him.”
“Talking to him made me realize something.”
“What’s that?” My heart pounded. I was afraid I wouldn’t like what he was going to say. I’d just told myself I wasn’t right for him, but now that he was in my arms again, I didn’t want to let him go. Was he going to tell me he needed a fresh start, one that didn’t involve me?
“I realized you were right.”
I instinctively squeezed him tighter. “Right about what?”
“I’m not a bad person. I could let myself have something good, something that I wanted.” His voice shook as he said the words, and I pulled back to encourage him to look up at me.
“Travis, that is absolutely true. If you need time to think about what you want, if you need?—”
“What I need is you.”
“Are you sure? There’s darkness in me, Travis, and you deserve to be in the light.”
“You do a dark job, but it’s not always for a terrible purpose.”
“Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s just because someone crossed us.”
“Those people you hurt, are they good people, or have they done far worse than you would ever contemplate?”
“They’re not good, but I’m not either.”
“Good or bad, you’re right for me.”
“How do you know that? I meant every word I said to you earlier, but it’s been such a short time.”
Travis shook his head. “It’s been years. I’ve wanted you since I was way too young to feel that way.”
I’d suspected he might’ve had a crush on me the last few times I’d seen him, but at that point, I’d still thought of him like a little brother. Then I’d seen him again, and… Wow. Before I could think of the right thing to say, Travis went to his knees in front of me.
“I’m yours, Dax. I want you to claim me, and for the first time in a long time, I think maybe I could deserve to be happy.”
“I want you to be happy. I want that so much.”
His smile warmed me all over. “No one has ever made me happy like you do.”
Travis reached for the fastenings of my pants.
There were so many things I should say, but I couldn’t speak then.
All I could do was watch, fascinated as he pulled my cock from my pants, took it into his mouth, and encouraged me to slide my fingers into his hair.
I kept my hold on him, but I wasn’t rough the way I’ve been before.
He took me deep and licked and sucked me.
I didn’t think I’d ever felt anything better.
I’d gotten blow jobs from plenty of men, but it had always been either a race to come or rough and harsh because I knew that was what the guy wanted, and it was what I’d needed.
Travis had wanted that too earlier, but I didn’t think that was what either of us needed now.
He seemed to want to explore me, and I let him until I was so close to coming I didn’t know if I could hold back.
I pulled away from him, not wanting this to be over too soon.
I wanted to savor every moment with him because I still worried that the more he found out about me, the more he saw my darker side and realized exactly what I was willing to do, the greater the chance he would eventually label me a monster like so many others and walk away.
I reached for Travis, pulled him to his feet, then encouraged him to walk backward until we were both standing on the rug in front of the couch. “Lie down on your back.”
He looked apprehensive, but he did what I said. “Don’t worry. You’ll get my dick again.”
I shoved my pants down, nearly falling in my haste to get my boots off, then I straddled his shoulders, letting my cock dangle close to his mouth. When he reached for it, I raised up. “Not yet.”
He moaned, and it nearly did me in.