4. Ambrose
AMbrOSE
D ax would be furious if he knew I’d invited Eric to his house.
The thought made me smile. I’d forgotten just how much I enjoyed pissing my brother off.
That was one of the perks of spending more time with him, even when part of me was screaming that I needed to retreat to my cabin and stay there.
Dax and Travis had been relentless, forcing their company on me time and time again until I’d almost gotten used to it.
But Eric was a different story. Eric wasn’t family. Eric ought to be my enemy, but he was the man I thought of every time I took my dick in hand, which I seemed to be doing more and more since the day I’d walked away from him.
We’d talked once since then, but that conversation had been business only, or at least I’d pretended that was all it was.
I pretended I didn’t want to talk to him at all.
I pretended I was angry about the need to call him and had only done so out of necessity to communicate news about how LePlatt’s death was being received.
Eric needed to know what was being passed through the grapevine since the death had happened in his jurisdiction.
If I’d actually been longing to hear the sound of his low, smooth voice, no one ever needed to know that. I wished I could forget it myself.
Maybe I should’ve lured him out to my cabin. I could easily have gotten rid of him by feeding him to Gerard, my alligator friend. I shook my head. I might tease Eric, but I could never actually end his life.
After my time in the army, I’d vowed to never again kill someone unless I knew they were guilty of heinous crimes.
Shooting down one of LePlatt’s men had shaken me, but I’d asked around about the men before our operation and done what research was possible online.
I knew the evil things they’d done. The man I killed deserved what he got.
In fact, he deserved worse than a simple bullet to the head.
When Eric had suggested I would kill him to keep him quiet, the thought had sent me right back to the worst day of my life.
I heard victims begging me to stop, begging for their lives.
I shook my head, pushing the memories away.
I couldn’t let them overtake me. I needed to appear at least somewhat sane for this meeting with Eric, though if he’d done his research, he should know how fucked up I was.
I grabbed Hope’s leash off the hook by the door. “Come on, girl. Let’s go for a walk.”
She raced around me, jumping and barking.
Once I finally got her leash attached, we stepped outside.
The air felt so different in the city than in the bayou, far more oppressive without the tree cover.
I much preferred the way it felt hidden among the cypresses by the water, but early in my military career, I’d learned to ignore the weather and do what I needed to do.
I hardly noticed the heat as Hope and I headed through the neighborhood. If I could keep moving, maybe I could stop going over and over what I would say when I saw Eric again. I might even stop thinking about how he made me feel. I’d already given up on understanding why he affected me.
Hope bounced excitedly at the window, letting me know Eric had arrived. Instead of barking like she should at a stranger, she was whimpering, tail wagging excitedly as she danced around on her back feet.
Dammit. Did she have to make it so clear she liked Eric?
At least she confirmed my instincts that said he was a trustworthy man.
I opened the door as he started up the porch steps, not about to let him think I hadn’t noticed his arrival.
I noticed everything that happened around me. I wouldn’t be alive otherwise.
Before I could say anything, Hope raced around the door and jumped up on Eric, paws scrabbling at his legs. He bent to rub her head. “Aren’t you a pretty girl?”
Great. He liked her too. “Hope! Get down.”
She ignored me.
“Hope, sit.”
I grew unreasonably frustrated when she still refused to listen. I was supposed to be in control. That’s how I needed things to be.
“She’s fine,” Eric insisted. “I love dogs.”
I snorted. “Of course you do. And I suppose you want a cute little house with a white picket fence, a pretty wife, a golden retriever, and plenty of children.”
He tilted his head and looked at me. His eyes seemed to hold mine, preventing me from looking away.
My heart pounded, and sweat broke out on the back of my neck.
This was not going well. I should never have invited him here.
I wasn’t meant to be around other people.
I just didn’t know how to do that anymore.
“You did as much research on me as I have on you,” Eric said.
I nodded. My hands were shaking, and I hated it. I wanted to lash out at him. I wanted to disappear, but I couldn’t. I’d promised to take care of Hope, and I wouldn’t let Travis down. “Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t have that.”
Eric smiled then, a genuine smile. It made me feel like I might be having a heart attack. I would rather he hold a gun on me. That I could deal with.
“You’re right. It doesn’t, but you said I wanted a wife.”
I waved my hand as if it didn’t matter. “Wife. Husband. Whatever.”
“So says the straight guy.”
I bristled, my hands balling into fists. I didn’t like him saying that, which was ridiculous. I was straight, wasn’t I?
Then why was I having a hard time keeping my gaze on his instead of letting it drop to his full lips. Had I ever noticed a man’s lips before? “Tell me what you know about Carlotti.”
Eric smirked at my change of subject. He clearly enjoyed making me uncomfortable.
I had to get it together and stop letting him see his effect on me.
I was getting sloppy. I would never have survived what I had if I hadn’t been able to keep my emotions under control.
Most of the men in my unit thought I didn’t have any. It would be easier if they were right.
Hope kept scrabbling at Eric’s legs, begging for more pets. I got some treats for her, stuffed them in a puzzle toy, and lured her to the guest room. Once she was secured there, I ordered Eric to continue.
“I started hearing talk about more activity where LePlatt had been storing the drugs.”
“Do you really have informants in St. Claireville? Who are they?”
He scowled. “There’s no reason for you to know that.”
“There is if you’re getting information from someone working for Carlotti. We could use them, but that could also blow up in your face with no warning.”
Eric ran a hand through his hair. “Fine. One of my deputy’s brothers is a bartender at the only bar in town. He hears a lot.”
“Do his patrons know he’s passing info along to his brother?”
“It’s not like that. He just mentions things he overhears. And only if it’s a real problem. Like this.”
“So this bartender knows about Carlotti?”
“Not by name. I learned more from the older women who gather at the café. They talk—a lot—when they’re suspicious of husbands, boyfriends, brothers, sons. I hear all manner of things from them.”
I grinned. “I bet you do. A handsome man like you. They must love to have you there, entertaining them.”
He snorted. “I just sit in a corner and drink coffee.”
“Exactly. No demands, just nice scenery.” I wanted to embarrass him, but the asshole smiled at me.
“Good to know you appreciate something about me.”
“Fuck off and get on with the story.” His smile widened. Goddammit, I had to quit giving myself away like that.
“Are you always this impatient?”
“I thought you wanted help. What did your little old ladies tell you?”
“A few days ago, one of them stopped by my table after her friends had left. She told me she was worried about her grandson. He’d disappeared several days before.
No one had heard from him and her ‘sorry ass son’ didn’t seem to care, but she did.
The kid is nineteen and prone to be influenced by the wrong people.
As I asked her more questions, I put other rumors I’d heard together and began to worry he’d been taken in by Carlotti. ”
“Shit. Carlotti will see him as disposable.”
“Yeah. So I started investigating.”
“You should have called me then.”
“I didn’t know it was Carlotti at that point, just someone taking over the business LePlatt had been doing.”
“What are the chances he knows you’ve been watching?”
“Very low.”
Not low enough for me. “At least you didn’t say none.”
“I have been a cop for ten fucking years. I do actually know how things work.”
“Not things like this. Carlotti is high-level as hell, and he’s nothing like Remington and the rest of my family.”
“Right. You’re nice criminals.”
I scowled at him. “We have a code of honor. Carlotti has no honor. All he cares about is himself and grabbing money and power where he can.”
“And you’re old fashioned and believe you’re helping your community?”
“We fucking are. Or they are. I’m not really in this anymore.”
“You sure as hell seemed deep in a few weeks ago.”
“I was helping my brother. I owe him… I owe him a hell of a lot.” My life.
My sanity. If one could call my current state sane.
He’d slowly brought me back into the world.
I was never going to be Mr. Social like Lance or Corbin, but I could function longer without disappearing or getting into a fight, and the time I needed to recover from being out of my cabin was getting shorter.
Sure, it had been years, but without Dax, I’d be less capable than I was of standing there talking to Eric. I wasn’t going to last much longer, though, especially not when he looked at me with such knowing in his eyes.
What did Eric see in me? More than I wanted him to. I was sure of that since I’d had a fucking break down in front of him. I wanted to be strong, to protect him. I needed him to believe I could do that.
“Why does it matter so much?”
I was not going to answer that question.
“And Travis? What about him? He’s your best friend’s brother. You never mentioned that.”
I did not like how much he knew about me. “No one hurts Travis, not even Dax.”
Eric grinned. “I don’t think you need to worry about that with Dax.”
“Not now. He’s… This isn’t helping. What do you know about Carlotti?” I sounded really fucking bitchy. When had I lost the ability to control my voice? “Have you seen him?” There. My tone was neutral now.
“No, but I’ve seen men who are connected to him.” He held up his hand before I could speak. “I know who they are because I’ve seen them on the news. One of them has done time for arson.”
“That’s Alonzo. He needs to die a very painful death.” I hated that Dax wasn’t there. I wanted to track down these men, turn them over to my brother, and let him go to work.
Eric sighed.
“You can’t tell me you don’t believe there are men who deserve to die.”
“I wouldn’t have agreed to your plan if I didn’t think that, but I…”
I sighed. “You’re a cop. I know, but if you want my help with this, you’re going to have to put that aside.”
“It’s my job. If I?—”
“If you don’t get this man out of your parish, your friend’s grandson isn’t going to be your only casualty. He probably isn’t even now.”
“I know. That’s why I’m fucking here.”
Oh, wow. I liked the way his eyes lit up with his anger and the way his cheeks deepened in color. He was normally so calm, and that made seeing him angry all the more exciting. He was fucking gorgeous all flushed like that, and I wanted…
No. All I was going to do was kill Carlotti and end his reign of terror. Then I’d go back to hiding in the bayou, at least until the next crisis or possibly another visit with Dax, Travis, and Hope.
“I’ve been doing surveillance out by the shack where LePlatt did handoffs.”
“Who have you told about this?”
“No one. Did you not fucking listen when I said I know what I’m doing? Anyone in the department could be part of this.”
I nodded, fighting a smile. Eric Winston was damn competent. I already knew that, but it was easy to forget he’d been a city cop, that he wasn’t some useless guy with political connections who’d fallen into the job, not like the idiot deputy who wanted to replace him.
Eric glared at me. Why the fuck did I think he looked even hotter now than when he was being Mr. Nice Sheriff? If I kissed him, would the shock of it send him running?