10. Eric
ERIC
I grabbed Ambrose, pulling him to me so I could cup his face and kiss him. I was gentle at first. That was what he needed, but when he grabbed my waistband and pulled me against him, I let go.
I kissed him like I wanted to, pushing my tongue into his mouth, pressing my lips to his hard enough to bruise.
The kiss turned into a struggle, but neither of us was trying to get away; we were both trying to consume the other.
I wanted Ambrose, all of him. I wanted to surround myself with his scent, his taste, the feel of him, even his fucking abrasiveness.
I’d seen what was underneath, and it was beautiful.
When I finally grew too desperate for air to keep my mouth pressed to his, I pulled back. Ambrose closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. I held on to his shoulders, not sure if he could stand without support, and damn if that didn’t feel good.
“I warned you I was a fucking monster. I thought that would keep you away, but now… God, I want you too much to let you go.”
“I want you too, but I didn’t want you to know. I was… scared.”
Ambrose took a step back, pain in his eyes. “Of me?”
“No, of losing myself, of…” I shook my head. It was one thing for him to know I wanted him, but I wasn’t about to admit I might be falling for him.
Ambrose looked at me then. I wanted to turn away, but something in his gaze held me there.
“Talk to me,” he demanded.
I drew in a long breath, and he took my hands in his. I wondered if he needed to be touched as badly as I did. “I don’t… Casual relationships just don’t work for me. I know you’re not looking for anything long-term, especially with a man?—”
“That’s not really true.”
I stared at him in confusion. “What?”
“If I found…” He closed his eyes and took a breath before continuing. “I’m not looking. I’m… not right for a relationship. I’m too fucked up, but that’s not because you’re a man. I never thought I’d want… but I do, and you being a man wouldn’t matter if I thought I could handle this.”
“But you don’t, and I’m, like, the one gay man on the planet who only wants a serious relationship. Besides, I made a rule. I don’t go out with straight guys. It never ends well.”
“I’m not what you need.”
“I know.” Ambrose’s sad smile made my eyes sting. “I’ve known that since the first time I saw you, but somehow it doesn’t matter.”
“I’m not straight. Not completely. I couldn’t be and”—he gestured back and forth between us—“feel like this about you.”
“Fuck, Ambrose. I…”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got a safe house arranged. You won’t have to be around me for long.”
Was he serious? “I’m not fucking leaving.”
“You’ve complained incessantly about me dragging you here, and now?—”
“I complained because you think I’m just going to sit around while you take down Carlotti and because I can’t simply disappear from my job. People will notice, and they will ask questions. If I just return to St. Claireville?—”
“Carlotti will send someone to eliminate you.”
“What is the likelihood of that? Wouldn’t that bring unnecessary attention to his operation?”
“If he thinks you know what he’s doing, he’ll take you out and make it look like an accident. Do you think anyone else in your department will figure that out?”
Ambrose’s phone buzzed, startling both of us. He pulled it from his pocket and tossed it on the couch.
Should he really ignore it? Would anyone call him besides his family? “Who is it?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
The buzzing stopped, then started again immediately. “Fuck.” He glared at me. “This is your fault. You never should have called him.”
So it was Lance.
“I’m fucking fine,” Ambrose said when he answered. “I had better shit to do than get lectured… I don’t answer calls when I’m tracking someone… No… Don’t you dare… I’ll handle it.”
He ended the call then.
“Does your cousin think you should let me go?”
“No, he thinks I should let you help us, but if you’re going to a safe house, he thinks he should handle it.”
“Do neither of you understand that people will be looking for me?”
“People who’d be lucky to find their own ass. I’m not worried about them. I’m worried about keeping you safe.”
I blew out a breath and pushed my hair off my forehead. “I don’t want to argue about this.”
“What do you want to do?”
I looked at Ambrose. He was watching me. He seemed almost afraid of what I would say. I didn’t like seeing him tentative like that.
“If I said I wanted to fuck you, how would you take that?”
“I… um… I might ask you to kiss me again.”
“I would kiss you all night if that’s what you wanted, but?—”
Ambrose shook his head. “I want more, but I don’t know if I’m ready for?—”
I laid a finger on his lips. “I like it both ways.”
“You… you’d let me fuck you?”
“I wouldn’t just let you. I’d enjoy the hell out of it.”
“Then why… I mean…”
“Should I kiss you now?” I asked.
“This is a mistake.”
I took a step toward him. “Yes, it is.”
“Do it.”
I pushed at his chest, and he let himself fall into the wall behind him.
I took hold of his wrists and dragged his arms above his head, never breaking eye contact.
He was wary, but I was sure he could break my hold if he wanted to.
He didn’t. I laced our fingers together and leaned so close our chests brushed against each other.
“Is this good?” I wanted to challenge him, but I didn’t want to push him too hard. I’d seen him lose himself in memories of his time in the army once. I didn’t want to be the cause of that again.
“Fucking kiss me already.”
I was smiling as I pressed my lips to his, teasing the seam of his mouth until he opened for me with a groan.
As I deepened the kiss, he arched his hips, pushing against me.
I pressed him harder against the wall, letting him feel the ridge of my cock against his abdomen.
He was just as hard as I was, and feeling that did something to me.
All my politeness and concern vanished, and I took from him, kissing him like I was going to devour him, thrusting hard against him.
His hands squeezed mine and he struggled, but I kept him pinned.
He groaned into my mouth, grinding his hips into me.
When he brought one leg up, wrapping it around me, I let go of one of his hands and lifted his thigh higher, hooking it over my hip so I could press fully against him, rubbing our cocks together.
He reached between us with his free hand and pressed his palm against my cock. “Jesus, this is…”
“Strange?”
“No. Yes, but also fucking good. You feel amazing.”
Was he really accepting what he needed this easily? For now, I was going to let myself believe he was.
I released his other hand and began unfastening his pants. When I dropped to my knees, I looked up at him. His eyes were huge and glassy. “You okay?”
“Stop asking. If I don’t want something, I’ll tell you.”
“You want me to suck your cock?”
“Fuck yes.” He pushed my hands away and pulled his cock out. I moved closer, and he teased my lips with the tip of his cockhead.
I gripped the base of his shaft and lapped at the precum leaking from his slit. “You don’t have to hold back with me.”
“God, Eric. This is…”
“Come on. Fuck my mouth.” I didn’t usually talk dirty like this, but something about Ambrose made me want to. I wanted to shock him, to challenge him, to make him face exactly what he was doing and how much he wanted it.
He slid his hands into my hair and pulled me onto his shaft. I sucked him down, and he made a strangled sound.
I smiled around his dick, knowing he hadn’t expected me to be this good. Then I took him to the back of my throat, humming and swallowing around him as he bucked his hips, pushing deeper and making me gag. That didn’t stop him. He just thrust in again. And I took all that he gave.
He groaned as his head thunked back against the wall. I loved his visceral reaction. When I thought he was about to come, I gripped his wrists, pulling his arms away from my head. He resisted at first but then let me go so I could sit back on my heels and look up at him.
He sighed, relaxing into the wall as he gazed down at me. “That… that was… Jesus, I’ve never felt anything that good.”
I couldn’t hold back a laugh. “I appreciate the compliment.”
“I want you naked in my bed.”
“That can be arranged.”
The world swam around me when I stood, and Ambrose grabbed my arm. We both laughed.
“Is this… real?” he asked.
“Too real.”
“Shit.”
“Come on.” I took his arm and led him into the only other room in the cabin.
His bed filled most of the space. I’d been half-afraid he slept on a sleeping bag on the floor or, at best, a twin bed, but he had a queen covered with what looked like expensive sheets. “This is not what I expected at all.”
“I like a little luxury,” he said, running his hands over them.
“A very little.”
“I can’t be going soft like my brother.”
Dax was anything but soft, but this wasn’t the time to argue that, not when Ambrose was fighting with his clothes, trying to get them off so fast he ended up tangled in his t-shirt. My hands stilled on my fly as I watched, eager to get my first full look at his naked body.
He was every bit as fucking beautiful as I’d expected. His chest and abs belonged on the cover of a romance novel. When he pushed his pants down, it was all I could do not to pull him to me again. I wanted to run my tongue along his hip bones and test the weight of his heavy balls.
“Clothes.” He waved a hand at me.
“Yes, I have clothes.”
He growled. “Off.”
“Pushy bastard.”
“I’ll take them off for you if you don’t listen.”
“Come on then.”