17. Ambrose
AMbrOSE
I couldn’t fight this anymore. When I’d seen Carlotti’s man chasing Eric, gun in his hand, the world had faded away.
There was nothing left but the need to destroy anyone who would dare harm Eric.
He was mine. I needed him more than solitude, more than hiding, more even than the bayou I’d become a part of.
I was going to do like Dax had told me. I was going to stop waiting until I felt ready to let my barriers down. I was going to let go and see what happened.
When we pulled away from each other, desperate for air, I stared at him. He was so fucking hot. How had this happened to me? I’d gone from thinking I was straight, trying to push away any need for a relationship, then finding this man who was… it for me.
“You’re mine,” I growled. I wanted to reach for him, but I was frozen, rooted to the spot.
“Prove it.”
It was like he knew a challenge was what I needed to be able to move. I gripped his biceps and started walking him backward toward his bedroom. “Don’t ever do anything that stupid again. Do you understand me?”
“I was doing my job.”
“You don’t go into a situation like that without backup.”
“Wouldn’t you if you thought you could save someone?”
I sucked in my breath. “Yes.” The word was barely audible.
“I’d do anything to save someone who was in need.
” I squeezed my eyes shut as memories swirled around in my head, assaulting me in cruel flashes, threatening to overtake me.
After what I’d done, I had to try to help everyone.
It was my only hope of healing. The few men I’d killed since then had been threatening someone I loved.
They were the enemy. There was no doubt.
“Ambrose?”
Open your damn eyes. Look at him.
“Ambrose, are you with me?”
I nodded.
“Look at me.”
When he asked, I could do it, even though I couldn’t do it for myself. His eyes were dark, warm, and soft. I let myself fall into them. “I’m here.”
“I won’t walk into danger alone until this is over.”
I never wanted him to put himself at risk, even when Carlotti and his organization had been obliterated, but we didn’t need to argue about that now. “Damn right you won’t.”
“You can’t follow me everywhere.”
“Watch me.”
I moved forward again, pushing him. He took step after step as I guided him to the foot of his bed. My hands pressed against his hard pecs, and I pushed. Eric fell back onto the bed, shock registering at how easily I’d sent him sprawling onto the mattress.
He rose up on his elbows as I gripped his inner thighs and pushed his legs wide so I could step between them.
“I want you flat on your back with your arms above your head.”
He smirked at me. “You’re very demanding.”
“Get used to it. You’re mine, and I know exactly what I want to do to you.”
“What? Tell me.”
“Jesus, Eric.”
“I want to hear you say it.” As he spoke, he unbuckled his duty belt, removed it, then leaned over and carefully set it on the floor.
It thrilled me to know he trusted me enough to leave his gun there.
Most of the women I’d been with barely trusted me enough to agree to go at it behind a bar, and if they let me take them home, they made sure I left as soon as I’d come.
I couldn’t really blame them, but I liked how different this was.
“I want to hear you say what you want.” Eric’s tone shifted. There was something vulnerable there like he really did need to know how much he affected me. Did he doubt me? Did he still think I might run screaming when I remembered he also had a cock?
“I’m going to fuck you until you can’t breathe, until you can’t think of anything but me and the way I own you. I’ll keep going until you’re begging me to come in your ass. I’ll make you fucking see stars.”
He smiled. “You already have.”
The words were soft, the vulnerability still there in his tone.
I needed to make him understand this wasn’t a game for me.
This wasn’t some experiment or me seeing how far I could take it.
This was more than I’d ever felt before.
I loved him, and that scared the hell out of me, but every moment we spent together made the truth clearer.
“Before I do all that, I’m going to find out what it feels like to take your cock in my mouth.”
Eric sucked in his breath. “You are? You want that?”
“I do. I want to try everything with you. I’m not afraid of this, of touching you or pleasuring you. I’m only afraid of what I feel in here.” I laid my hand on my chest. I couldn’t believe I’d admitted that to him. To never admit my weaknesses was a lesson I’d learned by the time I was thirteen.
“Me too,” Eric said, and I knew he meant it. He was feeling what I was feeling. Neither of us had been looking for this. It had taken both of us by surprise, but there was no fighting it now.
I unfastened his uniform pants. He lifted his hips, and I pulled them and his underwear down enough to expose his cock.
“Move.” I gripped his thighs, trying to shove him toward the head of the bed.
He wiggled until he was fully on the mattress. I straddled his legs and bent down, inhaling the scent of him at the crease of his hip and groin.
He shifted, arching up, obviously trying to draw my attention to his cock. He was hard as steel. I wanted to touch him and taste him, but I was going to make him wait.
I kissed the thin skin that stretched over his hip and shoved his shirt farther up, exposing his flat stomach, then ran my lips over his skin, enjoying the tickle of his hair. I moved lower until I was placing a kiss right beside his cock, nearly brushing it with my cheek.
“Damn it, Ambrose. Stop fucking torturing me.”
“This isn’t torture. This is nothing. I spent all morning worrying about you, then I had to watch Carlotti’s man chase you. I had to take a risk and shoot him, knowing if I missed, I could hit you. That was torture.”
“I told you I?—”
“Shut up, or I’m going to make you wait longer.” He reached for me, but I grabbed his wrists and sat up. “Hands over your head. If you can’t keep them there, I’ll have to use your cuffs on you.”
“Jesus, that’s never sounded hot before.”
“And now…”
“I… Just get on with it.”
“No. I’m taking my time. Savoring you.”
“What if someone comes after us? My location isn’t exactly a secret.”
“Then I’ll kill them slowly and painfully for interrupting this.”
“You really think you can just?—”
“Yes. When I want something badly enough, I get it.” In that moment, I completely believed I could take out all Carlotti’s operatives by myself if they tried to stop me from touching Eric.
I lifted Eric’s sac, enjoying the feeling of his heavy balls in my hand. I squeezed gently, and he gasped. Wanting to hear more from him, I tugged on them, and he arched up, pushing his cock toward my face. The tip was damp, and I couldn’t resist the urge to lick the drop of precum from his slit.
He whimpered, a desperate sound that made me want to torment him more, but I also wanted to see just how much of his thick shaft I could take into my mouth. I squeezed his thighs, massaging them as I ran the flat of my tongue up his length.
“Fuck. Ambrose. Please.”
“That’s it. I love hearing you beg.”
“Damn it. Why are you?—”
I licked him again, and he shuddered. When I glanced up, he was pressing his hands against the headboard hard enough I feared it might snap.
“You want to use your hands, don’t you?”
“Fuck yes. I want to hold you still and force my cock down your throat.”
God, why did that sound so good? I hated giving up control, and yet, with Eric… No, not yet. Maybe not ever.
“I want you to suck me and swallow around me. I want to feel your hot, tight throat convulse around my dick.”
Who was I kidding? I didn’t have any control around Eric. That’s how I’d gotten into this position to start with. I couldn’t walk away from him, couldn’t send him away, couldn’t trust anyone else to care for him, and I could never have kept my hands off him.
I wrapped a hand around the base of his cock and angled it toward my mouth, then swirled my tongue around the head, enjoying the soft skin and his musky scent. How had I never realized how good this would be? I was going to be lucky if I didn’t come in my pants while I was sucking him.
Taking his head into my mouth, I sucked gently, then harder as I rubbed my thumb against the base of his shaft. He arched up, trying to make me take him deeper. The headboard rattled ominously.
I let go of his cock and pressed his hips into the mattress. With a teasing lick, I let his cock bounce against his stomach. “I’m in charge. Don’t you dare try to take more than I’m offering.”
“You’re a fucking asshole.”
“I know.” I grinned at him. “Keep those hands where they are, Sheriff.”
I nudged the badge pinned to his shirt with my nose and laughed when he squirmed, trying to move out of the way.
“I thought you were kidding about the uniform.”
“Fuck no. This is the best.” I rubbed the side of my face against the rough material of the shirt, wondering how he put up with such a starched garment.
“Shit. I’m never going to be able to put on my uniform without getting hard now.”
“Good, as long as you’re hard for me.”
“So fucking possessive.”
I looked up and met his gaze. “I am. You’re mine and only mine.”
“Ambrose, I?—”
I didn’t want to hear any protests, so I took his cock back into my mouth, sliding my lips farther along his length.
The whimper that escaped him made my cock jump.
I needed him to make that sound again. I took him deeper.
I struggled to breathe, but I was focused on pleasuring him. I didn’t care how uncomfortable it was.