Chapter 8
Freedom Is An Illusion
Alex
Iflipped the kill switch on my bike and pulled my helmet off just as Maksim opened his mouth. “It’s been like three hours and it’s dark as shit. What if she fell asleep?” he asked, amused.
“How did she get up there?” I eyed the house, but it was too dark to make anything out on the roof.
“I have no idea!” Maksim sounded flustered, walking beside me to the back of the house. “We only figured out she was up there when the guys smelled it,” he was whispering for some reason. “And then she told us to leave her alone and, well…now she’s stopped responding.”
I turned to him, both irritation and excitement mixing inside me.
“You’re responsible for her safety,” I reminded him, my tone colder than ever.
“How are you doing your job if she’s literally escaped?
She’s on the roof, you have no idea how it happened, and she’s smoking weed.
Where the hell did she get it?” I questioned, none of it adding up.
Maksim had nothing to say. He splayed his arms and shook his head. “You don’t know that either,” I concluded. “God damn, Maks, what the fuck? What else happened that you don’t know about?”
I inspected the sitting area in the back of the house, illuminated with the bright lights of the living room. There were seashells all over. And were those flowerpots? Surely, we didn’t outfit the house with flowerpots.
Somehow, Jade made it all look homey.
“Did…did you get those? For flowers?” I pointed to the corner by the door, noticing a cactus and some other plant blooming in terracotta pots.
“Yeah, she put it on her shopping list.”
Her shopping list?! I twisted to Maksim, the question written all over my face. “She hasn’t asked for a lot.” He defended her at once. “It was on her grocery list. She asked if there were flowerpots in the store. There were. She also asked for a few books and magazines.”
I was well aware Jade was within earshot. “What else did the princess ask for?” I spoke a little louder, and from somewhere above, I heard the soft click of a lighter. Of course she was listening and fucking loving this.
Maks stood in front of me, thinking it over. “Bubble bath. A puzzle. Some nail polish, a yoga mat. Snorkel mask. Only organic blueberries. Whipped cream. She specified the kind of honey she wants—”
“Oh yeah? What kind?” I interrupted him, absolutely floored at the way he’d remembered all her grocery wants and needs in the span of a week.
“She likes the organic lavender honey.”
“Jesus Christ.” I shook my head, noticing the way Maks was more annoying than ever. “Did she ask for goat milk too?”
“No,” he responded simply. “She prefers full-fat milk. Says it’s better for…women’s health or something. I don’t know, I didn’t really understand that part.”
I was seconds away from dislocating Maksim’s jaw. He was supposed to be her damn fucking prison guard, not president of her fan club. Not out there shopping for her and getting to know her. Not out there helping her settle in and live in some dystopian captive world I wasn’t even part of!
“Wow, Maks. You’re well on your way to becoming her bitch. Are you fucking serious right now?”
Maks said nothing, just shrugged his shoulders like he didn’t care for my words. “She’s not awful,” he added, his tone rubbing me the wrong way. “She’s been very polite.”
“I’m sure she fucking has. Get me up there.” I motioned for him to crouch down and give me a boost since there was no porch, no railings, no trellis, nothing that could have helped her up there.
I couldn’t believe I was fucking doing this. I stepped onto his shoulder and he lifted up, helping me peek right over the edge of the roof.
“Oh my god!” Jade shouted as soon as she came into view, bolting up into a sitting position. “You’re like a Halloween lifeless head, what the hell?!”
Oh, she felt the right to accuse me when she was making me do ridiculous shit?
“Jade,” I propped myself up on the clay tiles of the roof with my elbows, still standing on Maksim’s shoulders, “please explain to me, what the fuck are you doing up here, and also, where the hell did you get drugs?”
There was a few seconds pause when we just stared at each other, but then, Jade threw her head back and cackled, loud and full of joy.
Damn, she was high as shit. Her shoulders shook in her white short dress that reflected the moonlight and she sat there barefoot, the joint bopping between her fingers and somehow… once again in control.
I was about to tell her she shouldn’t be up there and if she fell and broke an arm or a leg, I wasn’t going to take her to the hospital.
I was about to tell her she was acting like a teenager, climbing onto roofs and being irresponsible.
I was about to tell her I was annoyed I had to be here to talk her down, but… I said nothing.
Instead, I watched her laugh. I noticed how her eyes sparkled with happy tears. Not the tears of pain at that department store when I mentioned Knox. Not the tears of fear when we kidnapped her.
“You want some?” She narrowed her eyes at me, her smile genuine and her proposition absolutely out of line. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise,” she whispered the last words, nodding as if to convince me.
I gulped, willing my tongue to say the logical words. “You need to come down.”
But it was all futile because I knew I was going to lose. Just seeing her again was like getting a hit of a drug.
She stuck out her bottom lip in a fake pout, having precisely zero inclinations to follow my instructions.
“Why’re you always ruining my fun, hm? The club? You kidnapped me. Me getting high? Not allowed. I climb a roof? You’re here to talk me down. Just admit that you’re a boring man.”
Oh. Oh.
I was on the roof in five seconds flat. Craning her neck, Jade looked up at me with her wide eyes and then did what I was afraid of—patted the spot beside her, inviting me into her space.
All my good judgement was left on the ground. I slumped down beside her and stretched out my legs, leaning on an elbow to get closer. She smelled of weed and something sweet and delicious.
This wasn’t romantic at all—nope. Not the starry night, not the ocean waves in the moonlight, not the forbidden nature of our proximity.
Without a word, Jade passed me the rolled-up joint, but I shook my head right away. No way could I have accepted and participated.
“I can’t, I’m driving.” I looked down at the joint between her fingers, her nail polish white this time to match her angel-on-the-roof look.
“Oh, come on,” she whispered. “Just one hit?”
I shot my gaze to hers, all my soul begging me to stay and say yes.
“Are you trying to get me to break the law?” I asked, feigning concern. She smiled wider. “Aren’t you an attorney?”
Jade brought the joint closer to my mouth. “Aren’t you a criminal?” she asked quietly, all her attention on me. “What’s a little Mary Jane when you already stole me?”
Stole her.
I liked that far more than kidnapped. I did steal her. I was a professional thief, and she was the finest thing I’d ever taken.
I stared up at Jade and knew this was the crossroads. If I accepted, it would all spiral. I would spiral. I delayed the inevitable, drinking in every single one of her glances and sighs.
“If I take a hit…” I looked from the ember of the joint to her pure eyes. “Will you answer a question? Truthfully?”
She took a beat to think about it, the weed inching closer to my lips. “I’ll answer. I can’t promise it’ll be truthful, though.”
I didn’t ask right away, just sat there and continued staring at her like some depraved fucking teenage boy leering at a hot cheerleader.
She stared right back.
Ten seconds.
Thirty.
Jade lifted her eyebrows, the smile on her face making me forget what I’d come here for.
“Why’s full-fat milk good for women’s health?”
The question caught her so off guard that she widened her eyes before bursting out in another fit of joyous laughter. I hid my smile, afraid to show her how much I enjoyed the sound.
She slumped down on the roof, giggling like a maniac. “Is it for women’s health, or yours? You need all that calcium for the reckless shit you do?”
Jade’s laughter died down and she sighed in satisfaction before sitting up and facing me.
“Full-fat dairy is important for women because it lowers the risk for type two diabetes, ensures adequate consumption of essential vitamins like D, A, and calcium, and some studies suggest it may be associated with improved reproductive health and fertility.”
Her answer absolutely floored me. I blinked at her with my mouth open, remarking how quickly she morphed from a giggling stoner to a damn scholar.
“Wow. You’re worried about your…fertility?”
I had no fucking clue why I asked that. I imagined Jade pregnant, glowing, and barefoot in the kitchen. And there was a man beside her…but it wasn’t me. Just some man. Faceless and unworthy.
Whose child would she carry? Who would give her that life that she was, evidently, preparing for? Someone who wasn’t me. Someone else would get her smiles, her tears, her raging fire.
The thought was like a sucker punch to the gut, but why…why on earth was I even thinking that?
“No, I’m not worried.” She shrugged easily. “It’s just always good to maintain optimal health. You never know what life can throw at you.”
With that last sentiment replete with meaning, she passed me the joint.
Ten seconds.
Fiftee—
Fuck it.
I closed my lips around it and took in a lungful. The burn in the back of my throat was potent and I coughed loudly, realizing how out of practice I was—I hadn’t smoked since high school.
Jade patted me on the back as I got through it, giggling beside me. Ugh fuck. This shit was strong.
One hit. That was enough to render me dead to the rest of the world.
It was just her and me. On the roof. Sharing a joint.
“If you…” Her gentle voice floated all around me, having a calming effect. “If you close your eyes and just listen to the waves, it feels like you’re free. Like you’re flying.”