Chapter 46
Old Fashioned For The Bride
Alex
"One, two, three, four. Good! Very good, Alex—you're doing great!" the physiotherapist encouraged me like I was a baby taking his first steps. "Let's try to go back now. One—oh! You okay?” I tripped and hit the floor with my knees again.
This was okay. I was okay. I would get better. I would walk without pain. I would get Jade and I would forget all about this.
"Yes," I snapped, ready to tear the whole place apart, but instead, I grabbed onto her hand. I needed help standing up. This was the second session, and it was fucking awful.
But there was progress. I was breathing by myself and no longer on morphine. Yes, I’d lost a ton of weight and muscle mass, and everything hurt without respite, day and night, but it wasn’t fatal.
And…I’d finally remembered everything. I didn’t know if the physical or the emotional pain was deeper.
With every breath I took, one thought lit up inside me. Only one. It was on a loop. I have to get Jade.
My love, my heart—she was trapped and I couldn’t walk more than four steps.
"Okay, maybe let's stop for today." The physio smiled and nodded like I was a literal child.
"No. Two-minute break,” I panted. “And we start again.”
Every day, she’d arrive at eight in the morning and then again at four in the afternoon, and on day seven, I was already sitting up in bed, waiting for her. I sat up all by myself.
But instead of the physio, someone else showed up. There was a quiet knock on the door and in stepped none other than life-destroyer Gianna.
I hadn’t seen her in three weeks, not since that time when she spilled her soul. That was lucky, because the break from her gave me a chance to remember a lot.
With a small smile on her face, she stepped closer, looking me over with apprehension. “You’re doing so much better,” she breathed, such a hopeful smile on her face.
I held the pause, picking my words.
“Why’re you here again? I paid off your credit card. Paid you back for my stay here.”
Her face fell instantly, but I was no longer oblivious—all her little antics, all the fake tears, the manipulation—it was all fresh in my mind.
“I…I just thought…”
“What did you think?”
Stepping from one foot to the other, she was meek and timid. I didn’t have any memories of her ever looking like that, so she didn’t lie last time—she did change. No more designer purses or short dresses. Her nails weren’t done and she was wearing barely any makeup.
“I’m glad you’re sitting up.”
I scoffed, wanting to get her out of my sight. “Do you think we’re friends or something, Gianna? Do you think we’re amicable exes?”
Gianna gulped, gearing up for another round of tears. “Alex, you-you were beaten so badly, I just—”
“Because of you.”
The image of Jade begging on her knees was frying my brain cells. The morning it happened was still hard to fully piece together, but I was remembering snippets. The way he pulled her hair. The tears Jade cried.
“How the fuck did you know where I was?” I asked loudly, still in the dark about that little detail. “I found your tracker, so how did you know the second time?”
Gianna pursed her lips and looked down.
“I…had two. Two trackers. One in your wallet and the other between your phone and phone case, but I didn’t check your location anymore—not after you…after you sent me to the shelter.”
Wow. I sat on the bed, tumbling into another black hole of hopelessness. “Jesus.”
“I was in love with you, okay? I was blindly in love—I’m sorry!” Gianna shouted, looking broken. “And then—and then I felt that you had someone else and—”
“I had no one else when I broke up with you, Gianna. I just didn’t love you,” I interrupted urgently, remembering her accusations in the past. “I was never in love with you. And evidently, that was the worst thing I could do.”
God, I fucking hated her. I stared right past a crying Gianna and berated myself for all the missed chances in my life. I missed my chance to kill Knox when I had it. I missed my chance to avoid all this when I agreed to see her after our first breakup.
“But you’ve paid me back, Gianna. You got your revenge—for everything. For me not loving you. For the work I forced you to do. For every single moment that I wasted with you—you got me back.”
My lungs burned. I gripped the edge of the bed until my knuckles turned white, remembering what I had said to Jade. I want to protect you, baby. From everything you’re scared of.
I promised her. I promised.
For the thousandth time this week, I tried to breathe through the intrusive images of what must have been happening to her.
“Leave. Just go. Just disappear from my life,” I implored Gianna, unable to do anything else in my physical state.
“A-Alex, I’m sorr—”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re sorry. Too late for all that shit, Gianna.”
I leaned back on the pillows and closed my eyes, drowning in the physical pain and the emotional guilt. Drowning in my tears at the thought of Jade.
Jade. Moya Malyshka. I had to get to her; everything else didn’t matter, including Gianna.
There was a quiet shuffling of feet in front of me and then the door clicked softly. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know that she was gone. Truly gone.
I took a deep breath in and out and for the first time…it didn’t hurt.
Olga burst into tears immediately. She took one look at me and lunged forward, wrapping me in a hug, oblivious to the pain it caused me.
“Sasha, holy fuck!” she exclaimed. “You look like death! Come in!”
The condo was spacious with a breathtaking view, and I hobbled over to the window, avoiding my own reflection.
“When did you move in here with the kids?” I asked, leaning against the glass to get some respite from the pain. Now that I was mostly off pain meds, I was in pain day and night.
“The night they took him. I just packed all the kids into my car and drove here. Thank God our tenant moved out a week earlier—do you want to eat something?” Olga spoke quickly behind me.
We did. While she cooked dinner, I played with her and Andrei’s kids, their happy chatter so incongruent with my life.
Once she put them to bed, we sat together at the dinner table, and I asked the question I was petrified of, “Do you know anything about Jade?”
She shook her head, extinguishing my hope.
“It took a long time for Maksim to find her, but he couldn't get her out. The crew fell apart. Vova disappeared right after Kirill…he…it happened…” she trailed off, and I nodded, having heard about Kirill. “It’s like the world turned upside down that week, Sasha.”
Olga poured me more tea while a clock ticked somewhere. I hated all clocks and all time because every second that passed by, Jade was in danger. I was sitting there drinking tea, and what was she doing? What was he doing to her?
“Stay here and rest, and then we can figure out how to get Jade.” Olga stole glances at me, as if afraid to look.
“What? Counting the scars?”
She shook her head, not wanting to admit it. Olga always played her role very well—housewife, mom, socialite. But I knew her past. Her father was a big name back home and she could probably compete in the Olympics in shooting—her aim was precise and deadly.
“Scars will heal, Sasha.” She reached for my hand, afraid to look into my eyes. “I’m just so glad you’re alive!”
Her hug was so sudden and overbearing that I groaned involuntarily, the pain shooting up my spine. She eased off quickly but didn’t let me go, and I, too, hugged her back. Quietly, we sat together at her dinner table and just held each other, both of us knowing how much this hurt.
How much it killed to know your other half was ripped away from you.
“Stay here and heal, okay?”
I promised I would, but another place pulled me harder. The little beach house. After a week at Olga’s, I unlocked the door and stepped in, the memories suffocating. I stood in the dark living room, Jade’s scent and her aura permeating the air.
What’s happening, Alex? Why are you here?
I can’t stay away. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat…without you. I can’t.
Our time here was so innocent, not marred by the violent world. It was just me and her, secluded, alone.
Delicate.
I wanted to rewind it all. Start from the very beginning. Bring back what was lost and never let Jade out of my arms.
Sour melancholy settled on my tongue. Things could have been so different. There could have been no pain, no heartbreak, no separation. Jade would have had an engagement ring on her finger by now.
But the evening finally arrived and I finally walked without a cane. It was warm and refreshing when I picked up Roman, my anxiety scratching at every nerve.
Would she be there? Was she hurt? How could I—
Tonight. Jade would sleep in my arms tonight; I was sure of it. I was getting her back tonight.
“Okay, team, we’re fully booked tonight again.” The restaurant manager held up his phone and read out the details. “We have three large parties. Table eleven is here for a boy’s night. Twenty-seven guests.”
Perfect—Claudio’s men would be here in large numbers.
“Table one is here for a birthday with fifteen guests.” I stood in the huddle with the rest of the staff, having stolen an apron from a locker in the back of the restaurant.
“And table thirteen has thirty-two guests. They’re here for an engagement party.”
A shock ran through me. An engagement party? Xavier booked this night for…an engagement party?
“All drinks are to be charged to the credit card on file.” I blinked through the blinding rage of hearing that my girl was engaged to dumb fuck Knox. "Who are you?" The manager suddenly addressed me.
"Stavros hired me last week. My name’s Jay. We haven't worked together yet." I outstretched my hand for a handshake, throwing in the owner’s name with whom I was well acquainted.
"Oh. Okay. I don't see you in the schedule for tonight, though?" The manager wouldn't let up, scrolling something on his phone.
"I'm filling in for John. He called in sick last minute."
I walked away quickly, taking my spot behind the bar and scanning the floor. Jade’s table was in my perfect line of vision.