Chapter Two
drinks and dances
“Cass, I have told you 100 times now, I do not want a huge birthday party. I don't even know enough people to invite.”
She’s been begging to throw me a birthday party for a month now, and I keep giving her the same answer.
NO.
I’m just not a party person. I would much rather be at home with some take out, a movie, and wine. Cassie, on the other hand, would rather spend her time shaking her ass on a dance floor to some annoying pop song.
It amazes me how well we get along with how different we are.
“Please, Charlie. I promise we can make it a more chill party, and you can even sit on my couch with a wine bottle in hand.” She does the puppy pout at me, and I swear I don't know why I bother arguing.
I smile at her, and she starts squealing.
I hold up a hand, stopping her, “I’m not saying yes. I’m just saying we’ll see. I really don't feel like being at a party for my birthday, but I know it makes you happy. So maybe.”
“Eeek! I know you said maybe, but I’m taking that as a yes. I promise, it’ll be fun.”
She pulls me in and squeezes me.
“Don't worry, I’ll do all the planning. You won't have to lift a finger. Except to drink your wine. Which I too will provide.”
This should be interesting.
We continue eating our lunch while she shows me party decorations and tells me about the new guy she is seeing.
“He’s covered head to toe in tattoos, how hot is that?”
I laugh, “Ok, he’s hot, but is he nice to you or do I need to kick his ass?”
“Charlie, he’s insanely nice. Like, unnaturally nice. I sometimes wonder if something’s wrong with him.” She chuckles.
“As long as he treats you right he’s got my vote. When do I get to meet him?” I ask, taking a big bite of the sushi she brought me.
I see her eyebrows raise and her chewing slow. She sets her food down and smiles at me.
“Actually, I invited him to your party,” she says, still eyeing me.
“And…?”
“And…he might bring his friend with him.” She smiles sheepishly.
“Don’t even think about it.” I say before she can spell out her master plan to set me up with this guy's friend.
“What? I’m not planning anything.” She holds her hands up in defense. “But, from what he’s told me he sounds hot too.”
“I don’t want a hot guy, Cassie.” I tell her. I don’t want any guy right now. I’m not ready. But I’m not going to explain that to her, she knows. She just hates the thought of me being alone almost as much as my mom does.
“Just, if a strange man shows up, don’t yell at me.” she teases, then shoves a California roll in her mouth.
I drop the subject, knowing I won’t get anywhere with it, and just hope some strange man doesn't actually show up.
The rest of the day is pretty slow. A few people come in and browse, one person buys a few porcelain dolls for her grandma, but other than that it's been dead. I decide to close early, even though I don't really have anything to do. I don’t work tomorrow, and offered to help Cassie and John paint her apartment. My life is kinda sad, I guess.
I pull my phone out, cringing at what I’m about to do, and shoot Cassie a text.
Getting into anything tonight? I closed up early -Charlie
Not even 10 seconds pass before my phone vibrates with her reply.
Me and Nathaniel are headed to The Bar around 8. Wanna join us?-Cassie
I cringe. The Bar is a local bar that everyone likes to hang out at, and that I typically avoid. Bars are not my scene, but I also really don’t want to sit at home by myself all night.
Why not. What else am I going to do all night? -Charlie
Cassie sends back a GIF of a lady doing an excited scream, and I can't help but laugh out loud.
“What did you just get yourself into?” I ask myself.
Once I’m home and put my stuff up, I head to my closet, and try to pick out something to put on. I’ve been in a baggy t-shirt and jeans all day, and I’m dying to get out of them.
I grab a black spaghetti-strap dress, some flats and a clutch. Simple, but pretty.
I spray some dry shampoo, refresh my curls, leaving it flowing down to the middle of my back.
Looking at my face in the mirror, I debate putting mascara on, but I honestly prefer my face as it is. You can see my freckles, and my natural lashes are long enough that I don't really need mascara.
I spritz myself with my perfume, then head out the door.
On my way. Please tell me they have good wine there. -Charlie
I text Cassie as I get to my elevator.
Just as quickly as before, my phone dings with her reply.
The best. And there are some guys you can dance with. If Nathaniel saves them for you. -Cassie
I laugh to myself at her text, picturing him hogging all the guys at the bar, and not wanting to share. He’s always been a flirt, and doesn't know how to not be with someone. But I love him all the same. Nathaniel has always been an attractive man, and everyone is drawn to him. His skin is a gorgeous olive color, and his eyes are a bright green. I haven't known him as long as Cass, but I loved him the minute I met him.
The cab drops me in front of the building, and I inwardly cringe when I see all the people.
There's a garage-like door that pulls open, exposing the bar, tables, and a dance floor.
As I approach, Cassie spots me from across the bar and waves me down. I weasel my way through the crowded floor, over to her and Nathaniel, and take a seat at the bar with them.
“Oh my god. Charlie is in a bar. Quick, Nathaniel, take our picture. I need to remember this night.”
I shove her shoulder, “Shut up. I go out. Just not to bars.”
“Where, where do you go?” Nathaniel asks me.
“I…I go to work. And the store. And I went to that paint by numbers thing a few weeks ago with Cassie, remember?”
“Babe, that paint by numbers thing was over a month ago. You are a recluse, just admit it.” she teases.
“Ok, but what's so bad about that? I like being at home…for the most part.”
“Nothing is bad about it, we just wish you would socialize more.” Cassie says, then adds, “And maybe get laid here and there.”
My jaw drops in shock, and I shove her arm again. “Cassie! You did not just say that.”
She holds her hands up, and Nathaniel looks like he's having the time of his life.
“I’m just saying, I know if I went that long without getting some kind of release, I wouldn't be able to function.”
“Who says I’m not?” I ask, then order a glass of red wine when the bartender comes over.
Both of their eyes go wide at me.
“Are you?” they ask simultaneously.
I look back and forth between them. I could easily lie, and say yes, I have in fact slept with someone recently, but it's Cassie. She can smell my lies from a mile away.
“No.” I finally say, and watch as their excitement turns into disappointment.
“But I could, if I wanted to. Just know that.” and instinctively my mind goes to the hot guy from the shop.
They both fall silent, knowing they won't win this, just as the bartender brings my drink.
“Ok how about this.” Cassie starts again. “If a guy comes up to you tonight, will you at least try to have a conversation with him? It could help you, you know.”
I roll my eyes.
“Yes, Cass, I will talk to a guy for you.” I take a sip of my wine, “In fact, I had a guy come into the shop the other day, and I spoke to him easily.”
“Why didn't you tell me about this? How hot was he? Did you get a number?” Cassie says.
“Cass, you do know there's more to life than flirting with men, right? And no, I didn't. He was buying a present for his girlfriend.”
But let's be honest, even if that man was available, I wouldn't have done anything about it. I just can't bring myself to. Even if I do have the urge to climb him like a tree; I’m not ready to feel another man's hands on me.
I’m not ready for strange lips on mine.
It's still too soon.
Cassie reads my face, and stops talking.
“I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I just don't want you miserable and alone is all.”
“I know, it’s ok. And I promise if the opportunity presents itself, and I feel ready, I’ll act on it.”
She smiles, “That's all I’m asking.”
The night goes on, shots are taken, and I actually end up enjoying myself.
It’s 2 in the morning, and a slow song comes on. Cassie is swept up by her man, Garrett, which I hadn't realized was here until just now. Nathaniel ran off with a guy who was wearing black eyeliner and has tattoos on his fingers.
Which leaves me.
Alone.
Like always.
I sway to the music, fully transfixed by the melody of it, when I feel strong hands pull me in.
“May I?” the man says.
I freeze. I know that voice.
“You.” I say, looking up and meeting his eyes. “From my shop. With the teapots.”
He smiles, “Me, with the teapots.” His eyes drop to my lips for a split second, and my entire body goes molten under his gaze. “May I dance with you?” he asks.
“Ok.” is all I say, then nod.
His arms pull me closer to him, and we start to sway. He doesn't say a word, his hands don't roam over my body. He just guides me with him, humming along to the song.
His scent floods my nose. God it’s intoxicating. Like musk, and amber, and something else I can't put my finger on.
“You smell really good.” I whisper into him.
I feel his entire chest rumble as he laughs, and I’m reminded just how big he is. I didn’t pay attention until now.
My arms won’t reach around his neck unless I were to stand on my tippy toes, and the alcohol is making that pretty difficult. But he doesn't seem to care. He holds me tight, not letting me stumble.
Finally, he says, “How drunk are you?”
I gasp and look up at him, “I am not drunk, sir. Just tipsy.”
He chuckles again. “You just told me I smelled good. I get the feeling sober you wouldn't say that outloud.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. You don't know that.”
“Fair enough.” he says.
We keep dancing, our bodies fitting together perfectly. I might be drunk, because this is really nice. My insides feel all warm and fuzzy.
I don't know if that's from the alcohol, or him.
After a minute, my head falls to his chest. I can hear his heartbeat, and it is extremely soothing. I feel him rest his chin on top of my head, and then his body relaxes into mine as the rest of the bar fades away.
What is his name? I know he told me, but right now I can't remember. I could ask, but I don’t want to mess this moment up.
This moment where a man is touching me, and I don't feel like completely breaking down.
This moment where I feel something besides grief and pain, but actually feel warmth.
I’m not messing this up, not while I have it. Because I know tomorrow when I wake up, it’ll be gone.
The song ends. And I feel disappointment wash over me. Just one more dance, that's all I need tonight.
He slows, and moves his head, looking down to meet my eyes. I feel his breath brush against my face, and I close my eyes, just taking in this moment.
“Charlie! Taxi is here! Let's go!” I hear Cassie call from the other side of the bar.
My eyes meet his, and he's looking at me as if he wants to beg me to stay.
“I better go.” I tell him.
“Do you have to?” he asks, and I feel my stomach twist.
“Yeah, I do.” I say. But before I can walk away, he grabs my hand, pulls it to his lips, and plants a feather soft kiss on it.
“Thank you, for dancing with me.” he says, then lets me go.
I should say something. I should tell him I want to do this again. That I want to see him again.
But I don't. I just turn, and walk towards the exit.
As I catch up with Cassie and Nathaniel, I turn back one last time and see him still standing there, watching me with a light smile on his lips. Not knowing what’s come over me, I wave bye, and blow him a kiss.
He reaches out and pretends to catch it, then puts his hand to his chest.
Butterflies.
So many freaking butterflies.
What did I just do? And why do I want more?