Chapter Six
30 and not flirty
Happy Birthday Char!
Happy dirty 30! Go be naughty
Happy 30th! Welcome to the best years of your life.
I overslept, and I’m only waking up because my phone won’t stop going off. My mom and I stayed up way too late watching sappy movies, crying, and eating ice cream and popcorn. Then we had to watch something funny before we went to bed so I wouldn't be a big ball of emotions all night.
To say I’m tired would be a very large understatement.
Grabbing my phone, I turn it on ‘do not disturb’ and crawl out of bed, heading straight for the coffee pot.
Only, when I step into my kitchen, I’m hit in the face with silly string and balloons, and way too loud cheering.
I scream and try to shield myself, but it's too late. My hair is full of green string.
“Mom! Really? Aren't you too old for silly string?” I gasp at her.
“Oh, I am.” she says, then chuckles, “But it wasn't my idea.”
My head whips up to her, and I see Cassie standing in my kitchen holding coffee and flowers.
“Happy 30th Charlie. You thought I’d miss seeing you first thing on the most important birthday of your life?”
“Cass.” I say, feeling a weird emotion emerge. “You didn't have to do this.”
She comes over and gives me a hug, which is rare for her. She’s not exactly a touchy kind of person.
“I did.” she sniffles in my ear, “You know I did. You are my absolute best friend, and you've been through so much in the past year. This birthday is a big milestone for you. For all of us, really. I just want you to feel all the love today.”
I feel my eyes start to sting, so I clear my throat, and she lets go of me.
Her hands cup my cheeks, “Ok. No getting emotional just yet. We’re taking you out for the day, then your party starts at 7, so go get ready.” she says as she shoves the coffee in my hands. When I hesitantly turn, she slaps my ass, “Hurry it up. My insides have been practically eating themselves with how hungry I got while waiting for you to wake up.”
“Oh stop, it's only 8:30.” I yell back at her.
Walking back to my room, I grab a towel and my robe and head to the bathroom to shower.
I turn the water on as hot as it can go without burning my skin off, and step in.
Tipping my head back, I let the hot water flow over my face and body.
30.
I’m 30 today; how did we get here so fast?
Emotions hit me like a train, and the realization of everything feels like an elephant sitting on my chest. These feelings don’t come up much, but when they do, god do they suck.
He should be here. He should be celebrating with me.
But here I am, alone, having to put on a strong face for everyone who wants to celebrate with me later.
Tears start to fall as the hot water runs over my face, and I let them, knowing I need to release these emotions now, in private, before I’m forced to go out into the world and pretend like I’m ok.
I take a deep breath, hold it, and run my hands over my face.
We can do this. It's just like any other day. He would want you to be happy and go have fun.
Exhaling, I grab my soap bottles, and finish my shower.
Today feels like a day I should wear makeup, so I put on some mascara, some bronzer on my cheeks, and some lip gloss. Looking at myself in the mirror, I don’t look any different than I did at 29, but I feel like a completely different person than I was last year.
I toss on a beige colored flowy dress, a light knit sweater, and leave my hair in loose curls that flow down my back.
A quick check in the mirror to make sure everything looks good, and I’m ready to go.
“Damn.” Cassie says when she sees me.
“Stop it.” I tell her, “It’s nothing special.”
“Honey, you look hot. And, wait. Are you wearing makeup?” she asks.
“I may have put a little on. It’s my 30th, I wanted to look nice today.”
“Well you nailed that.” she teases.
“She’s right sweety, you look very nice.” my mom says from the kitchen table.
“Well thank you, both of you.” I grab my purse. “Now, what’s the plan for today?”
“Brunch and mimosas, then the rest is a surprise until later.” Cassie says with a mischievous grin.
“Oh boy.” is all I say before we are headed out the door.
Brunch was actually fun. My mom and Cassie took me to this little brunch spot in the valley that I somehow didn't know existed, and we had these little pastries that had a raspberry cream cheese filling. They were delicious.
After that they took me shopping, and I bought some new perfume that smells like strawberries, and some new sweaters. It's honestly been a very relaxing day, which surprises me.
It’s 5:00 now, so we only have a couple hours until the party.
After convincing Cassie that I’ve had a good time, and would be happy just to sit and talk and hang out, we walk over to the cafe by my shop to snack and have some coffee before cassie has to go set up.
Which she still won’t let me help with.
We pick a table outside, since it’s so beautiful out, and I take a look around my little town.
“Charlie, I’m always amazed with how cute this town of yours is. It’s like something out of a book.” my mom says, looking around.
I follow her gaze, and look over my town. I’ve lived here for a few years now, and it's always been home.
But now..
Now it just reminds me of what I’ve lost .
Sometimes I think about starting fresh, somewhere new, but that thought scares the crap out of me .
We get our coffees, and the conversation turns lighter. We laugh so hard we cry, and lose track of time completely.
“Shit. We have to go get ready.” Cassie says, setting her coffee down.
“We? I’m ready, and you won’t let me help with the party.”
She points a finger at me and quirks her lips, “True. Well me and mama gotta get ready, and set up.”
I wave a hand, shooing them away. “Go go, I’m going to hang here a bit and finish my coffee.”
They both look at me, but it's my mom who says, “Are you sure?”
I see the concern in her face, so I say, “I am fine . I promise, I just don't feel like sitting in my apartment by myself right now. Go get ready and shoot me a text when you’re ready for me.”
They both lean in and give me a kiss on the cheek, then tell me they'll see me in a little bit.
Taking a sip of my coffee, I look around. This town never changed, but it feels different, somehow.
Mainstreet is still lined with a brick sidewalk, trees, and people walking to and from shops with bags hanging off their arms, and smiles on their faces.
It’s the same for them, but different for me. I lost a big piece of this town.
I shake my head, clearing my thoughts.
Now isn’t the time, Charlie.
I close my eyes and tell myself.
As I exhale my deep breath, I hear a throat clear.
“Is this seat taken?”
Logan.
I look up, and put a smile on my face.
“No, it isn't.”
His lips quirk up in that way they do, “Do you care if I take it, then?”
I wave a hand, as if to say go ahead.
He sits, leaning back and crossing his ankle over his knee, and just watches me for a second.
“Why are you everywhere?” I ask him, keeping my tone light so he knows I don't mean that in a bad way.
He chuckles, then says, “Well, I have a lot of free time now that I’m home, and having to take a break from working. Not much else to do here.”
That’s right, he’s home from the military. But taking a break from working? I want to ask, but I don’t want to pry. He’ll tell me if he wants to.
“I see. So you just wander around town?”
“Sometimes. Most of the time I’m at home though, helping my sister around the house. She’s a single mom, so I help as best as I can when I’m here.”
A single mom.
My mind starts working, the gears cranking. That must mean that little girl is probably his niece, not his daughter.
Again, not my place to ask.
He grows quiet, and I don't push conversation, because frankly I’m not in a very talkative mood, and just want to enjoy the silence.
After a minute, he says,“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s wrong?”
I pinch my eyebrows in confusion, “What do you mean?”
He eyes me for a minute, then shakes his head and looks down at his hands.
“I don’t know. Just something seems off about you today.”
“Oh.” I’m not sure how to respond to that.
“Is there any way I can help?” he asks, making eye contact with me, and I feel my heart sink deeper into my chest.
“No, not really. It’s just..” I pause. “It’s my birthday today. And that tends to be an emotional day for me.”
He nods his head as if understanding, then says. “Birthdays are emotional in general. It’s another year alive, and for some, that's an accomplishment.”
I look up at him, and his dog tags that are always on his neck. I have no clue what this man has gone through in his life, and I know nothing about him essentially, but I get the feeling he understands what I’m going through, and how I’m feeling.
“You’re right. I guess I don’t have it so bad.”
He looks around, then says, “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”
I watch as he stands, and enters the cafe. He goes to the display case, and points to a few things. As he’s paying, I quickly turn my head before he notices me watching him.
I look down at my feet, and fidget my hands nervously.
“Here, a little birthday present from me.”
Logan hands me a pastry wrapped in parchment paper, and when I open it I see a cupcake with a teddy made out of frosting on it.
I laugh, “This is ridiculously cute.” I tell him, and watch as his smile grows wider.
“It made me think of you.” he shrugs.
My eyes shoot to his, and I find him looking back at me. We stay like that for a minute, and I swear I feel something in my chest shift. I blink, looking away from him.
“Thank you, I love it. I almost don't want to eat it.”
He laughs, and I take a big bite, which makes him laugh more.
“What?” I mumble, my mouth now full of cupcake. “I said almost .”
He laughs, and watches me with a big smile.
“I just wish I had time to warn the bear.”
I laugh, a genuine laugh, and almost choke on the mouthful of cupcake in my mouth.
We both stare at each other with goofy smiles on our faces, and it's nice. I feel so comfortable when I’m around him.
“Do you have any plans for your birthday?” he asks after a minute.
Nodding, I say, “My friend is having a party for me, I guess I’ll go to that.” I groan.
His chuckle is contagious, and I find myself laughing with him again.
“That sounds..sort of fun,” he says.
Before I can stop, I catch myself saying, “You should come by.”
His shocked face makes me add, “If you don’t have any plans that is. Or if you even want to.”
“I have a meeting later, but I’ll try and stop by after.” he tells me.
“Ok. It’s not a big deal if you can’t come, you know.”
The corner of his mouth turns up again in amusement, “I want to come.”
I nod my head, feeling stupid for asking and assuming he wanted to come. But hearing him say he does want to come?
“I’ll text you the address and the details.” I tell him.
“Looking forward to it.” he says with a smile, then says, “Well, I should probably get going. I just saw you over here and thought I’d say hi.”
I wave a hand, “Hi.”
He chuckles again, “Hi.
Logan stands, and part of me feels disappointed that he’s already leaving. But I should probably make my way to Cassie’s, anyways.
“Send me that address, and a time to be there. I’ll do my best to make it.”
“Will do.”
He starts to walk away, then turns to me, looking at my face intently.
“Oh, and Charlie? You look beautiful with the makeup.” he pauses, and I smile at the compliment. Then he adds, “But you’re exquisite without it.”
I feel my cheeks heat and butterflies flood my stomach, as my hand moves to my face, but before I can say anything, he's walking away.