Chapter Twenty Six
fresh starts
The next few days go by in a blur.
I miss Sam.
I miss Logan.
I can’t do anything about missing Sam, but Logan..
I’m taking the necessary time to really process and think about what I want, because the last thing I want to do is rush into something, and end up getting hurt, or hurting him.
I wake up early because I have to be at the shop to sign for all the shelves.
Cassie and Garrett offered to drive me, since he has a car, and I don't want to ask Logan. I’m just not ready to see him. I need to focus on getting my shop open again.
I get a text from Cassie at 7 that they are outside and ready when I am, but not to rush.
I throw on some leggings, a tee shirt, and my sneakers then I pull my hair into a messy bun and run out the door.
Cassie is standing outside of the car waiting for me, and Garrett is sitting in the driver's seat.
He smiles and waves, and I wave back.
“This is going to be so much fun. Like a mini road trip.” Cassie says.
I laugh, “It's not that far; but yes, it will be fun.”
“I brought snacks, too.” Cassie says, holding up a bag.
I laugh, and walk to my door, opening it up and climbing in.
“Thank you for offering to do this.” I say to Garrett as he buckles back up.
“No problem at all.” he answers.
Cassie climbs into the passenger seat, and then we start driving.
We have a two hour drive, which gives me plenty of time to sit with my thoughts, and I don't know if I love it or hate it.
I look out the window, and see clouds building. It's supposed to rain pretty good later, so hopefully we beat it and don't end up driving in it.
“I’m so excited to finally see your new shop.” Cassie says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Oh that’s right, you haven't seen it yet.”
“Nope. Just the pictures you sent me. I bet it’s even more perfect in person.”
“It is. It’s so perfect.” I say, then add, “And wait till you see the town. It's so cute.”
“Sage Valley, right?” Garrett says, looking at me in the rearview mirror.
“Yes. It's a tiny town, smaller than ours; but it's absolutely adorable.”
“Cass, didn't you say your brother lives there?” Garrett asks, now looking at Cassie.
I watch as she rolls her eyes. “He does, but we don't talk. I haven't seen him in years.”
“Cassie, you never told me that?” I say, pinching her shoulder.
She turns towards me, “I didn't intentionally not tell you, we just don't talk.” she laughs, “He lives on the outskirts of it, nowhere near the actual town.”
“Ah. Ok.” Garret says, then drops the subject.
I knew she had a brother, but I didn't know that’s where he lived. I wonder why she never mentioned it.
I don't have any siblings, and sometimes I wonder what it would be like. But at the same time I love that it was just me and my mom. It helped us become as close as we are now. I definitely couldn't imagine having a sibling and not talking to them. Obviously, I know Cassie has a good reason, so I won't pry.
My phone dings with a text, so I dig it out of my purse.
Butterflies flood my stomach when I see Logan's name on the screen.
I know all of this is hard for you, and I know you need time to think. But dammit, I miss you already. I’ll be here if/when you're ready. -Logan
I bite my lip, smiling at his words.
I send him a quick text back before I change my mind.
I already miss you too. -Charlie.
“Damn. I haven't seen you smile like that in a while.” Cassie teases, and I look up and see her watching me.
I cover my face, embarrassed.
“Is it Logan?” she asks, and Garrett's eyes catch mine in the mirror.
“It is.” I say quietly.
“Girl. Put that man out of his misery.”
“It's only been a few hours, Cassie. I still don't know how I feel.”
She laughs, sitting back in her seat, “You might not know how you feel, but I do. I can see it in your eyes.”
Logan doesn't text back, and while that makes me sad, I know he’s just trying to give me space that I asked for, even if I don’t like it.
I just want to talk to him. To see him. To touch him..
But my heart keeps telling me that this is wrong, that I shouldn’t be feeling these things about someone who isn’t Sam so soon.
And I know, to some that doesn't seem like a good enough reason, or it's something I should be over by now. But Sam was a huge part of my heart, and it hasn't been the same since he left.
I’m scared. I’m scared to give my heart to Logan. What if life has other plans and he gets taken from me too.
I push those thoughts from my head, knowing they won't help me in any way.
I can't control life, and I can't spend my life worrying, I know that.
It's hard, but I guess grief is never easy.
After a very long drive, and one pee stop later, we finally arrive in Sage Valley.
I feel my chest bloom with excitement as the town sign comes into view, and I see the gazebo in the middle of the square. Butterflies flood my stomach at the memory.
I look up and catch Cassie smiling at me in the mirror.
I can't hide anything from her.
“Just over there.” I lean up and point to where my shop is.
That still feels really weird to say.
This new journey is scary, but I am so excited for a fresh start.
Garrett parks the car, and we all get out.
“Oh my god, Char! It's so you.” Cassie says with a big smile. “Look at these windows.” she continues.
“Isn't it perfect? Come on, I’ll show you the inside.”
They both follow me as I unlock the door, and as soon as Cassie walks in, I can hear her gasp.
I know it's just a building to hold old things, but I really hit the jackpot with this space. The lighting is gorgeous. The walls are gorgeous. Everything about it is just perfect.
“So, how’s this going to work? With it being so far, I mean. That’s a pretty long drive babe.”
I look around the shop, and for a split second feel doubtful that I can do this. But I can. I’ll just have to hire help.
“I’ll hire some people to run it during the week.” I shrug my shoulders, like it's no big deal. And it's not. Not completely.
“Char, you know that's going to drive you insane. I’ve never seen someone want to go to work as much as you do. What will you do all day if someone else is running the store?”
I pause, because she’s right, I know she’s right. But I’m not about to admit that.
“I dont know.” I answer honestly, “I just know that I want this. I want to make this work, and have a fresh start.”
Cassie walks around the store, and stops at the old counter, leaning her elbows on it.
“You should just move here.” she laughs.
My eyebrows shoot up. I know she said it jokingly, but that thought actually doesnt sound horrible.
I look out the windows at the town. There's people walking everywhere, taking in the nice weather before the rain hits. There's that ice cream cart parked in front of the gazebo. There's red and orange leaves starting to fall and paint the street.
It's like something out of a movie.
I look back at Cassie, and she's watching me intently.
“I should just move here.” I whisper. The realization that I might actually want to do that hitting me like a truck.
“What if I moved here? Is that completely crazy?” I add.
Cassie looks shocked, but she smiles. “It is crazy.” she says, then adds, “But it wouldn't be you if it wasn't.”
I smile at her, nervously biting my lip,“You dont think it's a bad idea?”
“Honestly?” she asks, standing and walking over to me. “It might be exactly what you need. A complete fresh start.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Sam follows you everywhere at home. And I know moving wouldn't stop that, but maybe being somewhere completely fresh would help you.'' She smiles lightly.
“I’m going to look into it.” I say, then I add, “There's even a field full of marigolds just down the road.” I tell her, and my heart swells when I remember Logan showing it to me.
Showing it to me, because of Sam. Because he thought I would love it.
“Marigolds?” Garrett asks, and I jump because I almost forgot he was here.
“Yes. There's a whole field full of them.”
His eyebrows pinch together, “That’s Logans.” he says, and I swear I feel my heart stop.
“What?” I say, my voice coming out as a whisper-yell.
“Yeah. He told me about it when we all went out after a meeting.” he pauses, then adds, “He bought it. Something about it having special value or something, and possibly being destroyed.”
I feel my eyes start to water, and it feels like the floor might give out on me.
He bought it.
It’s his land.
He bought a field of marigolds, to save them.
Why would he do that?
I look at the door, and see the truck with my deliveries pulling in, and anxiety starts to claw at me. I don't want to be here right now. I want to be with Logan. I need to see him. I need to talk to him and figure this all out because..why would he do that? And why would he not tell me?
“I need to see him.” I blurt. “I need to tell him..” I trail off, unsure what I would say to him.
“You need to tell him that you love him.” Cassie finishes my sentence for me.
I look over at her, and she has tears in her eyes.
“Don't let your fear ruin this, Char. Be happy.”
I nod my head, because I know she’s right. She always is.
“What do I do? I can't leave here. I can't get home.”
Home.
He’s my home.
I pull my phone out of my pocket before I can change my mind.
It rings once, twice.
“Charlie? Are you ok?” Logan answers.
“I need you.” I tell him, my heart pounding out of my chest and in my ears.
“Tell me where you are, I’ll be right there.” He says.
“I have to tell you something, and I can't because I’m in Sage Valley with Cassie and Garrett and I can't get home..I can't get to you.”
I hear Logan's truck start up in the background, and I smile. He’s already driving.
“I’m on my way.” He tells me, and then I hang up.
“He’s coming here.” I tell them as they both stare at me.
Cassie is squeezing her hands, and biting her lip anxiously. There's tears falling down her face, so I run over and hug her.
“Why didn't you tell me?” I say into her neck.
“I thought you knew.” She laughs.
“Um, is one of you crying ladies Charlie?” a voice interrupts and we both jump.
“That's me, sorry.”
The man laughs, and hands me the papers to sign for the cabinets.
It takes them an hour and a half, but they are all unloaded, and put in their general spot. Cassie and Garrett both look at me.
“He’ll probably be here soon.” she says.
I nod my head.
“Do you want us to hang out or?”
“No, no. You guys have done enough. Go home before it gets stormy.”
Cassie gives me a hug, and tells me good luck, then they both leave.
I sit on the floor, staring at my new shop and all of the possibilities that I just unlocked.
Maybe it's not too late for me to be happy.