Chapter 33 Pieces of Him
PIECES OF HIM
The restaurant was packed. There were people waiting for their reservations and those hoping someone wouldn’t show up.
Craig had made a name for himself after a very popular food TV personality ate at one of Craig’s restaurants and couldn’t stop raving about it.
They shot a TV episode, and Craig had been on the lips of everyone.
It turned out Tristan had tattooed the guy, and payment was a fair review of Craig’s restaurant. Not that Craig needed that extra boost.
“Sorry, miss, we are full tonight and for the next ninety days,” the host said, not looking up at me.
“Um… okay, but we’re on the list. Evan Carter and Carter Jackson.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Sure you are.” He motioned for the people behind us.
“Hey.” Carter snapped his fingers. “Can you at least do your job and look?”
“Listen, asshole. There are very few people that are on ‘the list.’” He made air quotes.
This was one of the reasons Holly called Carter “Satan.” He didn’t back down. And I liked that he stood up for himself. He didn’t need me protecting him. I pulled out my phone and texted Callie.
“Well, ‘we’ are.” Carter made air quotes.
“Fine. What was the name?” The host flipped the page.
“Evan Carter and Carter Jackson,” he said slowly.
The host went pale. “Ah, yes. Sorry about that.”
Callie appeared at the host’s elbow. “Lear, is there a problem?”
“Ah, no. I… was just…”
“Do you remember what we talked about?” Callie nodded when she was talking to him. “We never know who’s going to be asking to come in, so we treat everyone with the same respect.”
“Sorry.” Lear smiled and opened the velvet rope. “Enjoy your evening, Mr. Carter and Ms. Carter.”
“Close enough,” I said, pulling Carter into the restaurant.
“Sorry about that. He’s family.” Callie pulled me into a hug. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me too.” I hugged her back. She had lost weight and looked tired. “You okay?” I pulled away, looking at her dark clothing.
“Yeah. Carter.” Callie hugged Carter quickly. “Thanks for coming.”
“Wouldn’t miss it. And you look amazing as always.” He hugged her back.
Carter gave her the trust-me-because-I’m-hot smile. Callie blushed a bit and then rolled her eyes. “I haven’t slept in a week. But okay.”
“Back off, Carter, this one is mine.” Craig kissed Callie on the head before pulling me into a hug. “The Evan. Stunning as always.” Craig was the other thread that kept me tied to Tristan. And I would never cut this one.
“Place looks great, man.” Carter looked around the room.
It did. Everything was dark. The walls, the ceiling, the velvet curtains that divided the tables and booths. Gold sconces hung on the walls, and large gold chandeliers hung from the high ceilings. I had no doubt that The Moth and Flame would be the next big thing.
“Come on, we have a spot in the VIP area.” Callie wrapped her arm in mine. “Zoey made it.”
“Good.” I knew the real reason why Zoey had come back, and it wasn’t Craig’s new restaurant.
As we went upstairs to the loft, Craig explained it would be reserved for special occasions and small parties.
The loft opened to the dining room below but had large curtains that could be pulled shut for privacy.
It, too, had dark walls, and the restaurant’s namesake was painted on the large back wall.
I had seen it before. A large moth with one tattered wing and one in perfect condition.
It was the same moth tattooed on Tristan’s chest. The moth was the tattoo that started Tristans career.
It was on his website; the shops he worked with used it in their promotions.
I had read once in an interview that Tristan would never tattoo it on another person because it has special meaning.
When the interviewer had asked why, Tristan had said there was a personal story behind it. He didn’t tell the interview the story.
But I knew it.
“Don’t look at it.” Callie pulled me away from the green and gold painting.
“Ev.” Zoey jumped up from the leather booth and rushed over to me.
I hugged her tight. It had been a year since we had seen each other. And I missed her. She and Tyler married and moved to California soon after I broke my engagement to Ian. “I’m so glad you’re here.” I pulled away. “Carter, this is my other best friend, Zoey.”
“Nice to meet you. Evan has spoken very highly of you.” Carter shook Zoey’s hand.
“Carter, let me get you a drink. The Moth and Flame has the biggest selection of whiskey and scotch in the state.”
Craig led Carter back down the stairs.
“Ty didn’t come?” I asked, sliding into the booth. A bottle of red wine and three glasses sat on the table. It was quieter up here.
“No, he stayed home with the girls.” Zoey poured the wine. “His parents are in from Indiana.”
We both looked at Callie and waited. The din from the dining area floated up.
“I’m fine.” Callie pressed a pale hand to her brow.
“Really? Because you don’t look fine,” Zoey said.
“Thanks, Zo.” Callie played with the stem of the wine glass. “I’m just tired. I’m planning a retreat at the center, and Craig’s been working too much. And I’ve been bleeding for three weeks now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped.” I was surprised she hadn’t said anything. But now she had Craig and didn’t need me as much.
“What, were you going to change my adult diaper? Because that’s what it’s come to.” Callie flopped back in the booth.
“If that’s what it takes, yes.” I touched her cold hand. A year ago Callie found out she was pregnant. She and Craig had been so happy. Two weeks later she lost it. They tried again and again but nothing stuck. This last one had almost killed Callie. Craig said enough and threatened to get snipped.
“My doctor wants me to have a hysterectomy. She says it’s for the best.” Callie blinked away the tears.
“Oh honey.” I slid over and pulled her into my embrace.
“Why?” Callie cried. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing,” Zoey gritted out. “Your ability to carry a child doesn’t define you.”
“Easy for you to say. You have two,” Callie shot back.
“Your abilities to carry a child don’t define you.” This time I said it. Callie had no retort for me. I didn’t have kids.
“But I want one.” The tears clung to Callie’s dark lashes. “Craig wants one.”
Zoey rubbed her face. “Then get one. There are other options. Callie, this is your life we are talking about.”
This had been the ongoing thing we all talked about now. After the first miscarriage, Zoey told us she was pregnant. Callie slipped into a deep depression. Then the second miscarriage, and Zoey was pregnant again.
Callie sat up and wiped her face. “Adoption takes too long. Craig will be thirty-four. I’m thirty-two. It could take years. And that’s after the five-year wait list.”
I didn’t know what to say. This was out of my realm. Neither Carter nor I wanted kids. We had discussed it on the third date. We were half naked when he stopped and made it very clear he didn’t want kids and I wasn’t going to change his mind.
“I don’t want to talk about this.” Callie waved away whatever we were thinking.
“About your life?” Zoey’s brow furrowed.
“Yes.”
“Callie,” I said, taking her hand. “That’s not healthy. You know that.”
“And neither is wallowing in something I can’t change. And I’ve talked this to death. I’ve talked to three doctors. Five specialists. Craig. Mara. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Alright?”
“Tough shit. I didn’t hear that you talked to us about it,” Zoey shot back. “You’re getting it, right?”
Callie didn’t answer. She swallowed her wine in one breathless gulp.
“Callie?” I cocked my head.
“Jesus fucking Christ, are you serious right now?” Zoey pinched the bridge of her nose. “Who the fuck are you? What happened to the Callie in college? The one who wrote a paper on why it would be better for society if men got reversible vasectomies?”
“She grew up and wants a family. You have one,” Callie snapped back.
“Not by choice,” Zoey shot back.
Both Callie and I stared at her. We didn’t know Zoey was pregnant until she was seven months and couldn’t hide it anymore. Then she moved away. We didn’t get to share in that part of her life. That seemed to be happening more and more. Us growing apart.
“The first one was an accident. That’s why we got married so quickly,” Zoey confessed.
“And Tyler didn’t want to raise an only child.
So I had another one so the first one wouldn’t be miserable.
Oh, don’t look at me like that. I love my kids.
I wouldn’t do it any differently. But that’s me.
Not you. Not Evan. Me. What good will it do Craig if he has a child and no Callie?
What good would it do you? You’d be dead. ”
“She’s right, love,” I said, resting my forehead on Callie’s cheek.
“And you’re all I got.” She had been the one to gather up all my pieces after Tristan, after I called off the engagement.
She wrapped them up and kept them safe for me.
Kept me from getting blackout drunk and fucking some random guy.
Callie hugged me. “It hurts.”
“And it will for a long time.” A broken heart is a broken heart no matter what breaks it.
“Promise us you’ll do this.” Zoey moved to sit closer, wrapping her arms around Callie and resting her head on Callie’s shoulder.
“I’m seeing another specialist in a week. If she recommends it, I’ll do it.”
“And if she doesn’t?” I lifted my head and brushed the hair from Callie’s face. All of this had worn down her edges and dulled her normal shine. Life did that to women. Pushed and pulled us into what it thought we should be.
“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”
“You both will. This is Craig’s choice too. It might be your body, but it’s his heart,” I reminded her.
“If you die on us, I will dig you up and kick your ass. Do you understand?” Zoey blinked back tears.
“I’m not dying. And I love you both.” Callie smiled at us. “Now can we let this go for tonight and talk about something else?” She turned to face me. “Like you. Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” I only saw bits and pieces of him everywhere. The man I had an unhealthy obsession with. Why wouldn’t I be fine?
“She still can’t lie,” Zoey teased.
Thankfully, Carter and Craig came back, and we toured the kitchen, the bar, and the dining area.
We sampled the food and drinks. All around I saw hints of Tristan.
Saw him in the green sparkle of the crystals that hung from the light fixtures.
In the pieces of artwork he had designed that were on the walls and menus.
In the brokenness of this space. A sadness that hid just under the beautiful surface.
Callie could see it in my face. She’d lean over and whisper not to think about it.
Not to think about him. But that was hard when I had seen most of the artwork etched across his body.
Watched it flex over his back when he dressed.
If I closed my eyes, I could hear the low timbre of his voice as he said my name. Feel the warmth of his mouth on mine.
I could feel my ribs cracking.