Chapter 17
When I blinked my eyes open, I lay tangled in silken sheets, and there was a massive warmth plastered to my front. My hole was sore as hell and…full? I tried to move, but I was stuck, and the jostling planted my face against a wall of muscle.
A laugh rumbled in the air, the vibrations traveling through me.
Cillian.
Heat rushed through me. I lay in his bed, and he was still buried inside me after he’d fucked me until I couldn’t feel my limbs anymore.
“My knot takes a bit to relax,” he said, running his claws through my hair. The tips along my scalp made me shiver, soothing me at once. “I cleaned you up already, but you’re not going anywhere yet.”
I swallowed hard. This was one of my fantasies come true, and I loved it more than I wanted to admit.
My throat was wrecked from all the screaming I’d done, and I had the feeling my hole would be the same after his knot relaxed.
Cillian’s arms surrounded me, and he breathed with a steadiness that relaxed any of my residual anxiety at once.
With the way his cock was lodged inside me, his knot keeping us together, he was right—I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Thank you,” he murmured, brushing a kiss onto my head. The tender motion sent a shiver through me, unexpected to say the least.
“For what?” I asked. He hadn’t been a selfish lover. No, he’d taken me apart piece by piece, even when he was straining at the seams, and he’d made sure I was okay throughout. How such wildness could coexist with such care added yet another contradiction to this confusing man.
“Normally I hide away,” he murmured. “Find an outlet, but never…with someone.”
The sheer loneliness in his statement made my chest ache. For as much as he had closer and more loyal friends than I’d ever experienced, he clearly struggled to let them in.
He reached down, running his palm over where he was still buried inside me, my skin tender and stretched to its limit. “Fuck. You’ve been one surprise after another.”
“Glad to keep you on your toes,” I said dryly, luxuriating in the feel of his chest against my cheek, of his hand caressing the area where we were joined.
He’d fucked me so well it would be on replay in my mind from here until eternity.
“Any time you need to let out some aggression, you know where I am.”
“Oh, you’ve got another thing coming if you think I’m letting you slip through my fingers.” He nipped at the top of my ear, his fang scraping there after. “The way you took my knot—you’re a rarity, pet.”
That term again. “Pet” should’ve made me angry, especially with how I was stuck here, and yet something about it soothed me at my core, made me want to curl up on his lap and purr.
Everything about our arrangement was confusing, conflicting, but I sank into the comfort of here and now.
I was in his bed, in his arms, his knot inflated inside me, and I reveled in the moment.
“What if I run?” I teased, not sure if I was playing with fire. However, it brushed against the desires I’d held secret for far too long.
He tilted my chin up so our eyes met, and his sensual lips curled into a smirk. “Then I’ll chase you.”
Heat poured through me in a ferocious torrent, and the breath hitched in my throat.
Cillian’s eyes danced. “Someone likes the sound of that.”
I licked my dry lips.
“You’re far too pretty,” he said before leaning down to press his mouth to mine.
I savored the taste of him, the contact sending a ripple of lust and comfort through me as he continued to kiss me, a languidness to his movements, as if we had all the time in the world.
His knot was starting to deflate inside me, and I hated it.
I wanted to stay knotted to him all night, stay entwined in his arms.
He kissed me breathless, his long tongue teasing mine, gliding in the same sensual way he’d eaten me out.
I sank into the sensation, much calmer in the wake of the frenzied way we’d crashed together.
His knot finally deflated, and he withdrew from my hole with care.
I felt it gaping without him there, and I whimpered against his lips.
Cillian pulled back, his white teeth stark against his red skin with the way he grinned. “Miss me already?”
He ran his fingers across the tender skin of my hole, careful with his claws, and a rush of his cum trickled out, some of it trailing down my thigh. A shudder rushed through me, of want, of desire. He smeared it around my hole, his movements surprisingly delicate with the wrecked skin.
“Fuck, I want to cover you in my cum,” he murmured, nipping at my lower lip. “Fill you up with it, spread it all over your skin.”
“Yes,” I rushed out, heat flooding my cheeks. I didn’t care how shameless I sounded—that was what I wanted.
“Another time,” he said. “Right now, let’s get you in the tub.”
I barely had time to blink before he rose off the bed and hoisted me in his arms. He carried me with an ease that reminded me how strong he was, and that sent a torrent of need through me all over again, even though I was depleted and wrecked from the way he’d claimed me.
The trickle of his cum from my hole sent another flutter through me.
He strode into an attached bathroom, and I drank in the sight of it—black tiles and a massive clawfoot tub.
The polished silver fixtures gleamed in the light, and the room smelled crisp, like lemon and ozone.
Cillian set me down beside the tub and turned the taps on.
Steam rose from the water that began to fill the tub.
“Get in,” he said, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“You’re really not one for niceties, are you?” I arched a brow.
“I’ll use them when I see a point.” He smirked and lifted me off my feet again before lowering my body into the water.
The heat surrounded me at once, the scalding water soothing my sore muscles, and a deep sigh escaped me.
The tub was the biggest I’d ever seen, more like a hot tub than a bathtub, and big enough to fit us both, which felt like an impossibility.
“Are you getting in?” I asked. I didn’t want to seem needy, but I also wasn’t ready to have him out of sight yet. Besides, he was the one who’d shown up bloodied and beaten. Surely he needed this as much as I did.
“I will,” he said, slipping a towel around his waist. “I’ll be right back. Get comfortable.”
I settled my back against the porcelain and tipped my head up to stare at the glossy black tiles of the ceiling.
The pale white grout glared from between each one, a pretty offset that ensnared my attention.
Cillian’s footsteps were heavy enough I could hear him thumping around in the other room.
The door creaked, and he must’ve headed out into another area of the West Wing.
I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the thunder of the water pouring from the faucet, and on the hot water caressing my tired and aching body.
My hole would be beyond sore tomorrow, and my throat as well.
Still, in this moment, with my whole body relaxed, my world was calm and my mind remained quiet.
And I’d treasure every second of it.
Cillian’s footsteps returned, and he stepped in through the doorway.
He’d brought a tray of fruit as well as a few bottles of water, and my heart skipped a beat.
I never would’ve expected this level of attentiveness from the man who’d gained a reputation for his harshness, who’d been cold and callous when I’d first arrived.
Who’d also ravaged me until I was incoherent.
The hot water stung around the scratches on my thighs, and the bite on my shoulder ached, but I savored those marks as reminders.
“Are you just going to hover around the tub or get in?” I asked, pushing up from where I lay back.
Cillian shook his head and placed the plate and water by the side of the tub. “That mouth.”
“And you haven’t even felt it yet,” I challenged, my gaze traveling to his thick cock that hung limp between his thighs. Gods, how had I managed to fit all of that inside me? And already I could imagine taking it again and again.
Cillian gripped my chin and tilted it up. He pressed his lips to mine again in a claiming kiss, and I melted in his grasp.
When he let go, he climbed into the other side of the tub and turned off the stream from the faucet. Water sloshed, some over the sides, and his legs tangled with mine. The touch comforted me at once.
“Come here,” he said. “Onto my lap.”
As much as I was tempted to retort back, I wanted that too badly.
I pushed up from my spot, which took far too much effort with how taxed my muscles were, and settled between Cillian’s thighs.
How I’d gone from overwhelmed by his presence to somehow comforted by it mystified me, but the shift had been drastic and transformative.
Cillian wrapped an arm around my chest, drawing me back to rest against his, and my eyes fluttered shut.
The heat from the water didn’t settle me as much as the heavy weight of his body, the firmness of his muscles. He made me feel protected, which was something I’d craved for longer than I could remember.
“Why me?” I asked the question that had been burning in my brain. “You mentioned not having an outlet with anyone, but you’re stunning, powerful. You could have whoever you want.”
Cillian reached to the side of the tub and grabbed one of the bottles of water and passed it to me. I took it and drank, grateful for the coolness against my parched and wrecked throat.
“What about me says inviting?” The rumble of his voice vibrated against my back. “I’m not a fan of letting people in.”
“And yet here we are,” I responded, closing my eyes again, as if that might allow him to open up further. Each hint I got of Cillian, each little scrap of the person behind his persona, had me craving more.
“I used to date,” he offered. “Once upon a time.”
“What happened?” I asked, trying not to hint at how badly I longed to know. Had it been Olivia? Had she soured him to relationships?
“An ex of mine,” he murmured. “I…well, she grew frustrated with the lack of reciprocated feelings. I warned her. Told her I wasn’t capable of what she wanted.”
“What did she want?” My heart lay in my throat, but I kept my eyes shut.
“Love.” Cillian let out a bitter little laugh. “Some have it in abundance, but I never have.”
“Why stop dating, though?” I asked, ignoring his self-judgment. He seemed to think he was incapable of feelings, of emotions, but I’d collected so many glimpses of him throughout my months here.
“Olivia, she…well, I’d let her in more than most. She’d even worked for me.
But then when I broke up with her, she made her betrayal loud and public.
Left me with a reminder to never piss off a witch.
” His arm shifted around me, and I blinked my eyes open.
He rubbed against the black tattoo of a rose on the inside of his forearm.
Olivia. That was the woman who’d caused him to retreat in on himself. My heart twisted tight. “She works for Thorin?”
Cillian stiffened behind me. “How do you know?”
“I heard her name around and looked her up. The information’s not difficult to find for a librarian.
” I shifted in his lap so our eyes met. His golden ones were wary, as if he expected I’d stab him in the back.
“This is a terminal case of curiosity. That’s it.
If you remember, Thorin was about to capture me in the alley because he’d learned I was your personal assistant.
My skillset is research, not duplicity.”
His muscles relaxed, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “I wasn’t aware of how much you independently researched.”
“How else will I get any answers? The lot of you lock up tight about most things, and the amount of half responses and avoidance I’ve received has left me with an abundance of questions.”
His chest rumbled with his laugh. “You asked why you? That’s one reason.
You’ve been not only tenacious but clever from the moment I met you.
Yet you’re not as narrow-minded as many of the other humans I’ve come in contact with.
Too many times, I’ve developed relationships, business or other, only to discover they’re harboring an anti-monster sentiment beneath it all. ”
“I may be a little na?ve at times, but there’s too much to learn out there in the world to be narrow-minded,” I said, meeting his gaze.
“Though I know the exact types you’re referring to.
” My coworkers who’d been so eager to push me into the arms of an asshole like Damian were the same ones who’d ignored the occasional monster patron who’d come in, giving them clipped responses and the bare minimum of effort.
Those attitudes were still rampant, so I didn’t blame Cillian for his caution.
“So, does all this progress mean you’re going to start answering my questions?” I asked, a smile rising to my lips.
Cillian snorted. “If anything, I’ll evade them even more. Make you work for it.”
“Bastard,” I shot back, even though my grin didn’t falter.
One small question prickled in my mind. One that had emerged ever since I’d seen his library. “Are you the one who’s been leaving me books?”
“Why deprive a librarian of the thing he needs most?” he responded.
My heart thumped hard. Those small gestures—they’d burrowed deep into my heart during my early days here. And it’d been him all along.
He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, the calmness there the total opposite of the frenzied way he’d returned to the Spires.
I wanted to ask him what he’d been up to in the first place, how he’d gotten those wounds, but I was well aware he’d evade.
I sank into the solidness of his body, the heat of the water around me, the utter relaxation that settled inside me after he’d given me the best orgasm of my life.
“We should probably get out of the tub at some point,” Cillian said, pointing to the fruit and water he’d brought.
I stiffened. “Right, I’ll head back to my room.”
“What makes you think I’ll let you go, pet?
” Cillian wrapped an arm around my torso and drew me against him.
My whole body relaxed again. While I was no stranger to hooking up, after what I’d experienced with Cillian I wasn’t sure how I’d handle being back in my room in the aftermath. Not after tonight.
He scraped his fangs over my shoulder, and the contact made me shiver. Fuck, I shouldn’t still be turned on after the way he’d taken me, but my body raced with a newfound electricity around him.
Admitting how much I wanted to stay here made me feel a little bit too vulnerable tonight. “What if I try to run?”
“Haven’t you figured that out yet?” Cillian responded, rich amusement in his voice. “I’ll catch you.”