Chapter 21
When I blinked my eyes open, I was in a bed.
It wasn’t mine, but I recognized the silken sheets as Cillian’s. Except he wasn’t lying beside me like he usually did. I rolled over to my side, biting back a groan. The movement reminded me how much I’d been ravaged, and ungh. Tonight was everything I could ever have hoped for.
Cillian stood by the window, gazing out at the city.
He cut a stark silhouette, even against the midnight landscape that lay beyond.
There was something lonely about the way he lingered there, as if he carried an impossible burden.
I’d been getting glimpses of the weight Cillian bore, evident in his loaded silences and obvious avoidance.
And it was clearer today that he was tangled in something far deeper than he would speak of.
My heart ached. I wanted to reach out to him, offer him comfort, solace.
I pushed up to sit on the bed, and the creak of the mattress had him turning around.
“Awake at last?” he commented, a low, slow smile dawning on his features.
“Mmm, someone fucked me so good I could’ve slept straight through the night.”
“Oh, who might that be?” he responded, his coy tone a joy. He strode over and settled on the bed next to me. “I’ll need to look over your cuts.”
“I’m not frail,” I responded.
Cillian arched one of those dark, thick brows. “I’m well aware.”
Heat rushed through me at the memory of how he hadn’t held back with me. How he’d unleashed his inner beast and fucked me like he wanted to break me. Goddamn.
“I grabbed your phone and a set of clothes,” he said, gesturing over to his dresser top where they lay. “As much as I want you naked in my room, I don’t think the rest of the staff needs to see it.”
I snorted and leaned back onto my elbows. “Who’s to say they haven’t already?”
A low growl escaped Cillian’s lips. A thrill rushed through me at even a hint of jealousy from this man. He pushed up from his seat. “Let me go get you something to eat and the proper antiseptic.”
With that, he strode out of the room, and my chest ached at his disappearance, even for a brief time. Somehow, I’d become intertwined with him without realizing. The desire to spend every waking second by his side beat at a steady thump inside me.
I pushed up from the mattress, even though my body was angry at the effort. My phone and clothes lay on the dresser, but I only bothered grabbing the phone before returning to bed. It blinked with an unread text, and since I didn’t get many of those, I clicked it open.
Dad.
I’m worried about you. I’ve been asking around, trying to find a loophole, a way to get you back. I think I’m onto something.
My heart squeezed tight. The one person I missed from outside the Spires was him.
And he hadn’t forgotten about me. Yet how could I explain to him that I was coming to enjoy my time here, more than I ever realized I would?
In my old life, I’d been replaced—at least at work—whereas here, I had purpose.
I liked my PA work, I loved the library here, and the community I’d become a part of was something I’d craved for a long time.
And truth be told, here I had Cillian.
I shot him a message back.
I’m okay, Dad. I’ll be fine.
Then I placed my phone on the nightstand and settled against the pillow. Cillian’s booming footsteps alerted me he was about to return. My body hummed with readiness for his presence, whether the comfort he brought or the excitement. I was wholly addicted to both.
Cillian entered, looking the picture of sexiness with his tousled black hair, his button-down open and baring his chest. He carried with him a tray of food and a small kit in hand.
I’d discovered that for as much as he loved to unleash with me, he also loved tending to me afterward.
He was a creature of dualities, and the more I learned about him, the more enamored I became.
“Let me clean you up,” he said, settling beside me again with the kit in hand. In a few deft motions, he had swabs doused in antiseptic, which would sting like a bitch. But this wasn’t the first time he’d sunk his claws into me, and I hoped like hell it wouldn’t be the last.
He swiped at the marks around my hip, and the sting made me wince, even if it faded fast. Cillian worked quickly, though, applying the antiseptic and then the salve afterward.
“You know, when I first met you, I never would’ve imagined you’d do this,” I murmured.
He arched a brow. “Did you expect I’d toss you out after?”
“Well, truthfully, I didn’t think you wanted to fuck me at all.”
“From the moment you marched into my casino,” Cillian said, his voice a low rumble.
When I met his eyes, a shiver rolled down my spine at the intensity there.
“Why do you think I came down in the first place? Your mettle had me intrigued from the start, as did the way you didn’t hesitate to sacrifice yourself. ”
I’d expected him to comment on my looks, as that usually attracted most, but the fact that he hadn’t sent a sharp spear of longing right through my heart. Fuck. Everything about Cillian had drawn my curiosity from the beginning as well, and now I was smitten.
Cillian shifted up farther on the bed and spread his legs. “Come here.”
Clearly, he meant for me to sit between them, and I wasn’t about to pass up the chance. I scooted up and leaned back. His arms wrapped around me, heavy but with a sense of safety I’d craved my whole life. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, the sweetness of the motion coursing through me.
“The moment I saw you,” he said. “I thought…maybe it could be you.”
I waited for him to continue, but he trailed off, his quiet the sobering kind I didn’t dare breach. Instead, I relaxed against him and soaked in the warmth he offered, heat rolling off him in waves.
“Why Olivia?” I asked, the question striking me.
A rumble vibrated deep in his chest. “Your curiosity is unending, isn’t it, pet?”
“Is that all the answer you’ll give me?” I asked.
Cillian stroked his claws along my thigh, the sensation sending a sinful shudder through me.
“After you had to suffer through her presence, I at least owe you an answer. I’ve…
not had the most successful dating history.
My father always had business and wealth, and that offered a protection of sorts in this realm, despite us being demons.
Ruthlessness was what he praised, and I was usually found wanting. ”
I didn’t dare interrupt, his sensual, rich voice like a lullaby.
“Yet, I had my mother. She was kind, everything my father wasn’t. She wanted to leave him, and I wanted to escape with her. Yet my father had been involved with some dangerous businessmen.”
“Glacier Enterprises?” I asked, seeing the threads tie together.
He let out a low whistle. “Every time I think you couldn’t be smarter, you prove me wrong.
Them, exactly. My mother got caught in the crossfire—literally—and when she passed away, every bit of softness was beaten out of me.
You asked why Olivia? Because even though I still mourned my mother, some twisted part of me tried to impress my father.
And she was everything my father approved of.
A go-getter who didn’t hesitate when it came to underhandedness.
Ambitious, cutting, strong. And yet those traits didn’t end up saving my father either when Glacier Enterprises decided he was of no more use.
“When the company got passed on to me, I cut all ties with them, and I’ve been holding my ground ever since.”
My heart ached at the loneliness in his tone, at how he clutched me a little tighter as he told his story. Somehow, Cillian had cemented himself in my heart, and the more I learned about him, the more claim he staked.
“And you managed to build yourself a community here,” I murmured. “Color me jealous. Even out in the world, I barely had anyone I trusted, let alone wanted to spend time with for long.”
“Bullshit,” Cillian said. “You probably had boys lining up outside your door. Look at whats-his-fuck, the one we ran into.”
“Guys interested in fucking me, yes,” I responded. “But that only made me feel lonelier.”
He squeezed a little harder, and I soaked in every ounce of the way that made me ache. As if he tried to cram my broken pieces back together. Somehow, he’d transformed from someone I loathed to someone I didn’t want to be without.
“In a week, the Spires is hosting the National Dealer’s Conference,” Cillian said, changing the topic at whiplash speed.
“I’m aware, since I’ve been the one printing documents and coordinating with vendors for it,” I murmured.
“Attend with me,” he said.
My mind reeled, even though the immediate words jumped to my lips. “Fairly certain I’ll be there working that night.”
“No, by my side.”
His words lingered in the air, a declaration that both excited me and terrified me in the same breath.
What could that mean? It was one thing to declare our relationship in front of his friends, but another entirely to do so in front of his colleagues, in front of representatives of the city itself.
“Thorin will be there,” Cillian murmured.
“If he tries something with you while we’re apart—” His grip around me tightened to the point that I struggled to get a breath in for a moment.
But I didn’t try to move him. The claim of his limbs warred with the fact he just wanted me there as a protection measure.
It tangled up in my heart, which was already confused as hell.
“I’ll go, but don’t expect me to be like any of your high-profile exes. I’m a mere librarian, used to dusty bookshelves, not soirees for the rich and powerful.”
“That sounds perfect to me.” He reached past me and snagged a book from the pile on top of his nightstand—The Death and Demise of Riordan James.
It was the biography of a significant figure during the Awakening, who had eventually been murdered in the chaos of the supernatural world melding with humanity’s.
He’d become a figurehead for the perseverance of monsters during that time, and yet my education was limited on him.
Cillian had recommended the title earlier in the week, and since I’d spent most nights in his room, I’d begun to read it.
“What part are you at?” he asked, paging through to where I’d left the bookmark. “Ah, right around the unrest during the Awakening?”
“It’s fascinating. There’s so much I was unaware of,” I murmured, the heat of shame rising to my cheeks again, that so many of my kind were so ignorant.
“Let’s continue here,” he said, cracking the book open a little further. To my surprise, he began to read from the page I was on, his low, sonorous voice lulling me into a deep, restful comfort.
One thing I’d learned this year was how much could change in the span of seconds. Tonight, I’d savor our date in the gardens and getting to fall asleep in his arms.
Tomorrow, I’d get ready for what guaranteed to be danger at the upcoming National Dealer’s Conference.