Chapter 25
“I’ve got to go,” I said, rising from my seat and walking out of the dining hall. There was no way I could share the message with the table. My arms trembled as I excused myself from the room, and the moment I stepped out into the hallway, I dropped to my knees.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I’d traded ten years of my life so my father could survive. So he’d stand a chance.
Something was happening to him out there, and I couldn’t go to him. I tried to call his number, and it rang. And rang and rang.
Voicemail picked up, his familiar voice making my chest crack open.
My whole body trembled as I ended the call.
I needed to go to his house, to find him in person, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t even leave the Spires without a chaperone.
Yet my father roamed out there somewhere in Peregrine City, and he wasn’t going to survive.
There would be no reunion when I was released from here. No check-ins from him.
My only family out there, the only one who gave a damn if I lived or died, was in deep trouble.
Fuck.
Heavy footsteps approached, and a huge palm rested on my back.
I didn’t need to look up to know Cillian had come out to see what had happened.
My eyes stung as I restrained the tears, not wanting to cry in front of him.
Panic flared, loud and blaring in my mind as I tried to suck in a deep breath but continued to fail.
“What happened?” Cillian asked.
I sucked in another shallow breath. Fuck. How did I even explain this to him? He’d never let me go. He didn’t trust my father. Didn’t understand our connection or the loyalty I had to the one person who’d been a constant in my life.
Oh god, oh god, oh god. He was going to die, and I’d never even get to say goodbye. I’d leave the Spires after ten years to visit his grave. Bile rose in my throat, and the shakes descended over me.
Cillian scooped me up with the same ease he always did, and he clutched me tightly to his chest. “Let’s go to my quarters and talk.”
Normally, being in his arms offered all the comfort I needed—the hard muscle, the heat pouring off him.
However, right now my body had turned to ice, and I couldn’t seem to warm up.
My breaths were still shallow, more like pants, and my mind kept reeling, reeling, reeling.
Gods, what was going on? This was worse than when my father had disappeared.
At least then, I’d had hope.
The message he’d sent me now? That had been a goodbye.
My throat squeezed tight, and my eyes stung. What could I do? I’d never felt more trapped in my life, more helpless. Was he in immediate danger? Or was he heading toward an end that could arrive any day now?
The familiar surroundings of the West Wing flashed around us, and Cillian carried me into his room before depositing me on his silken sheets. I’d been here for weeks now, and it had become a place of comfort, but right now, all it did was serve as a reminder that I wasn’t free.
A gilded cage was still a cage.
And I couldn’t go find my father.
“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on,” Cillian said, kneeling next to the bed. He grasped my hands in his, a pleading in his eyes that pierced through some of the panic.
“My father,” I choked out. “He sent me a message…that he’s in trouble.”
Cillian heaved out a heavy sigh, and my chest caved in on itself. Of course. He hated my father. Didn’t trust him in the slightest. There was no way he would let me go. My eyes burned again, and I gripped the sheets tightly in my fists, hard enough that my nails bit into skin.
“I know,” I spat out. “I can’t do a damn thing to help him.”
Cillian stared at me unflinchingly, and he rested a palm over my fist. “This is killing you, isn’t it?”
“What, being trapped and unable to help my father? Knowing when I’m free from here in a decade, that all I’ll have to visit is a grave? He’s the only parent I have left, my only support in the outside world.” A tear slipped down my cheek as the words tumbled from me.
The silence reigned between us, thick and tense and impossible.
This was the barrier keeping us apart, the one hurdle that remained preventing me from falling for him completely.
The freedom to choose to remain by his side.
The knowledge that at the end of the day, I was tied to him by a pact not by choice.
My throat tightened, and I met his gaze. His golden eyes held a mourning that pierced through me. Neither of us broke the quiet, as if something profound shifted between us, a transmutation of the relationship we’d held.
His palm tightened over my fist as he gripped hard. “Give me one more night.”
I blinked. I couldn’t have heard him correctly.
“Give me tonight, Beau,” he said, his voice a low, gravelly scrape. “And tomorrow morning, you’re free.”
My heart thumped hard. “What about the time I’m supposed to serve?”
Cillian shook his head, the vulnerability in his gaze scoring me in the chest. “Mere months with you was worth a decade.”
Oh.
I swallowed hard, my eyes glossing over. The immense emotion that swept over me was unlike any I’d ever experienced before. My heart soared and broke in the same breath, and fuck, this hurt. He was…letting me go.
Cillian was setting me free.
I free-fell for him in that moment, surrendered what little remained of my heart.
This man who pretended to be harsh, callous, and cruel had currents deeper than anyone I’d met. His actions spoke louder, the way he tried to better the world around him rather than bring it to ruin like so many others in his position.
“Can I return?” I asked, a tremble in my voice. “If I go to try and find my father, can I come back?”
Cillian nodded, even though he didn’t voice the words at first. His eyes held a melancholy to them that made me ache, as if he didn’t believe I would. “Always.”
“What about Thorin?” I asked, the realization striking me. I wasn’t safe out there in the world now, marked by Glass Industries.
“I’ll keep him occupied while you search for your father,” Cillian promised. “And if…you decide you don’t want to return, I’ll make it clear we no longer have an association.”
I leaned in and rested my palm against his cheek. “That will never happen. I’m coming back, Cillian. I promise.”
Before he could respond, I closed the distance between us and claimed his lips.
I kissed Cillian with a desperation that ached in my bones.
I kissed him with the yearning for a future where we would be reunited. Where this wouldn’t be the end.
I kissed him because tonight, I would give him all of myself.
He tasted like brimstone and promise, like the long-sought hope that had begun to unfurl in me lately.
Tomorrow, I would set out to try to find my father.
But tonight, Cillian was the only thing on my mind.
His lips claimed mine again and again, and I savored the moment before it slipped from my fingers.
This was a man who’d transformed my entire world, and I didn’t want to leave him.
I had to make sure my father was okay, but when I came back, I’d make sure Cillian understood I belonged to him.
I drew back from the kiss. “Tell me what you want tonight. Anything you want, and I’m yours. Tie me up, breed me, use me until you’ve got nothing left.”
“I want your hands free tonight,” Cillian said, the rumble to his tone returning. “You’re going to be my good pet and take my cock as I fill you up again and again and again. I’m going to mark you, cover you in my cum so you don’t forget that you’re mine.”
“Gods yes,” I gasped out. “Can I…touch you?”
He nodded. “Wherever you want, pet.”
“Are your horns sensitive?” I asked. It had been a curiosity of mine for a while, but when we fucked, Cillian often took me apart piece by piece rather than letting me return the favor.
When he was feral and wild, he needed the control, and I was happy to hand it over, but tonight I wanted to feel all of him.
I wanted him claiming me, taking me in every single way, but I wanted to bring him as much pleasure as I could too.
“They are. You can touch them while you ride me,” he said, pushing to a stand. “Strip for me, gorgeous.”
I licked my lips. “Can I suck your cock first?”
He ran fingers through my curls, his claws scraping against my scalp, and I shivered. “Get naked and on your knees.”
Oh god. The way he commanded me made me lose my mind.
I unbuttoned my shirt, shunted my pants and underwear off, socks and shoes ditched in the process.
His room was comfortable, familiar, but a heaviness weighed in the air tonight, the realization that tomorrow I’d be leaving this place to find my father, and the uncertainty of the world outside it terrified me.
I lowered to my knees in front of him, the bite of the hard floor against them keeping me grounded.
He loomed over me and tugged his shirt off first. Then he unzipped his slacks and dragged them down his thighs.
My mouth watered as his cock sprang free, thick and ridged and bright red with a dark crimson head.
His pre-cum glistened at the tip, and I leaned forward to lick it.
The salty burst traveled through me, and I craved more, an addiction.
I hadn’t tried to suck him down too often due to the sheer size of his cock, but I wanted to try to fit as much of him in as I could.
He held the base of his cock in place, and I drew his tip to my mouth.
The musky scent of him made me hard, the heat of his body so close to mine setting me on fire.
I craved the weight of him in my mouth as I sucked him in a little deeper.
His cock was velvety and smooth, and I ran my tongue along the bottom of his length, up and down, up and down.
Cillian let out a low groan as he carded his fingers through my curls and then gripped tight.
The sting of his clutch combined with the ache of my knees on the floor, the edge of pain making me harder.
My cock leaked between my legs, and I loved the sight of him looming over me, the reminder of how massive he was ever present.
I opened my jaw further and swallowed another few inches, the tip of his cock nudging against the back of my throat.
I gagged a little around it, tears leaking down my cheeks even as I continued to suck through the motion.
The weight of him there, how he filled me up, my jaw strained, turned me on beyond belief.
Even though he kept his grip firm on my curls, he still circled the base of his cock with one hand, making it clear I wasn’t close to taking all of him.
I started to bob up and down on his length, the tip bumping against the back of my throat over and over. Saliva poured from my lips, dripping onto my thighs and the floor, but I didn’t stop. My eyes stung, blurred by the tears leaking from them as I choked on his cock again and again and again.
“You feel so good,” Cillian purred, gentle compared to how he normally took me. I craved both, his wildness and tenderness in the same breath.
I drew air in through my nose as I continued to swallow him, his pre-cum trickling down my throat. He surrounded me like this, the musk of him, the feel of him, and I loved being on my knees for him. I’d offer my holes any time of day if he wanted, just to feel him inside me in some way.
The need to be filled by him grew to an ache, and goddamn, I wanted him to knot my hole so badly.
I sucked harder and reached up to touch his balls, a heavy weight in my palms. A shudder rolled through him at my touch, and I continued to tease them as I sucked.
He started to shuttle his hand around his base, shifting his hips forward every time my mouth descended.
My vision blurred, and the saliva continued to pour from me in a steady dribble.
My thighs were drenched from it at this point.
“Fuck, I’m going to come,” he groaned and pulled out of my mouth.
“On my face,” I begged, closing my eyes.
A second later, his cum descended in a hot splatter on my forehead, my cheeks, dripping down my chin.
A sinful shiver raced through me at the way he’d marked me.
Fuck, I wanted his cum everywhere—across my body, on my tongue and in my belly, dripping from my hole.
I rocked back on my heels and swiped at a glob of it then licked it off my finger.
The salty taste delivered another shiver of satisfaction.
“You’re gorgeous,” Cillian murmured.
I swiped at my face, sucking more of his cum off my fingers. His shadow shifted above me, the creak of his steps retreating, and a second later, a cloth touched my face as he wiped the rest off.
“Why’d you take it away?” I asked, a slight pout to my lips.
Cillian’s mouth twisted into a grin as he stripped out of his pants, socks, shoes, until he was completely bare. All those thick muscles on display had me wanting to drop to my knees again to worship him. “Because I have so much more I want to do with you tonight.”
I’d take every last second I could get.