Chapter 30
Too late.
The words echoed in my mind over and over.
I rushed past Olivia, not even bothering to acknowledge her. The elevator lay within reach, and any second wasted was precious.
We couldn’t be too late. I couldn’t fathom a world without him in it. My system was flush with jittery energy, like I’d downed too much coffee. Theo and Amelia were right by my side as we reached the elevator, and Amelia pressed the button. A second later, the doors slid open.
All three of us stepped inside, and Amelia used her key card first, imprinted her thumb on the panel, and then pressed the button for the upper floors.
The elevator whooshed up, but my heart lodged in my throat. The ding, ding, ding rang through the silence between us, none of us willing to speak, as if by breaking the silence we would acknowledge what Olivia had said.
My mind whirled. Had Cillian given in to Thorin and signed over his company? Or had he refused, and she’d meant it was too late for Cillian’s life?
Selfishly, I only cared about his survival.
Anything else could be rebuilt, but a world without him in it looked far darker than I could fathom.
The doors slid open, and we stepped into the hallway. It was so familiar my bones ached, this walk I’d done a thousand times over in the past few months. But now we headed toward the West Wing. I didn’t question that if he’d be anywhere, it would be the locked room.
We reached the end of the hallway and made the turn, all of us quickening our paces. The corridor ached with a quiet that unnerved me, and our footsteps echoed, echoed, echoed. An emptiness existed, as if the powerful presence that had consumed the space up here was now gone.
When the platform to the West Wing appeared in sight, I didn’t attempt a walk anymore.
I broke into a flat run.
My body was weak, and I was running on an adrenaline deficit, but I needed to find him.
The beat of my heart matched the frantic thump of my footsteps.
I vaulted over the step up to the platform and bypassed his room, even though the sight of it sent a shard right through my heart.
I never should’ve left.
I never should’ve abandoned the demon I loved.
The locked door lay open.
I burst through it and skidded to a halt.
The big monitor that had the countdown displayed on it flashed 0:00.
Charles knelt in the middle of the room.
Beside him lay Cillian, crumpled to the ground. His massive body was carelessly slumped there, not like he’d lain down but had collapsed. His head tilted to the side, his arms out, legs askew. His eyes were shut, his mouth partially open. And he was as still as the grave.
Oh no. No, no, no.
My feet carried me forward, even though my soul had left the building. Charles was pale and somber, the only time I’d ever seen him without a smile or glimmer in his eyes. He clutched his thighs in a white-knuckled grip, and his mouth formed a thin line.
I didn’t stop until I reached Cillian and dropped to my knees.
“Cillian.” I gasped his name out like a prayer, casting a desperate wish into the universe. That he was okay. That what I saw with my eyes wasn’t real. His body wasn’t moving. There was no rise and fall of breaths, no spark of life.
Instead, the man whose presence had drawn my attention from the first second we’d met lay still. Devoid of anything that had once dwelled within him.
My throat spasmed, and a broken sob escaped. I clapped a hand over my mouth, the sound far too loud in the quiet room.
“He wouldn’t save himself,” Charles said, his voice broken. “Even in the end. He signed the contract with Thorin—in order to protect you.”
Oh god. Another sob exploded out of me, and my eyes burned with hot tears. Cillian Ashmore was the noblest man I’d ever met, who deserved far more than the cards he’d been dealt.
He couldn’t be gone.
I threw myself over his chest, the tears flowing freely now. “Come back to me,” I begged, clutching him tight. Except he remained still, unmoving.
Every moment flashed before my eyes.
From the earliest days, when I’d loathed him, when his comments had felt casual and cruel, and yet I’d been drawn to his presence regardless.
When he’d left me books by my bedside, and when he’d stolen me out to the gardens at work because he understood what I needed.
And those nights. Those glorious nights that I’d wished wouldn’t end.
Where he’d fucked me senseless, where he’d shared secrets from his past. Where I’d opened up to him too, and we’d built a trust I’d never believed possible.
And last night, his anguish had been just as intense as mine, yet he’d made love to me the whole night long.
Cillian had loved me so deeply he’d set me free.
He might not be free with his words, but he was a man of action, and I understood in my bones what that had meant. From the moment we met, we’d been magnets drawn together, again and again. I’d believed fate had propelled us together for a reason…except I’d been too blind to see.
Until it was too late.
I sobbed harder, my whole body shaking, as I pressed my cheek to his chest, desperate to hear the beat of his heart—anything.
Only stillness remained. His unmoving and silent form, so different from the magnitude of his presence before.
My soul was being torn apart by the second, entirely unmade.
I’d never fallen in love like this before, as incandescent as starlight and burning just as hot.
Yet with Cillian, I’d never stood a chance.
My tears soaked into his shirt, but they poured from me unceasingly.
My chest spasmed, my insides tearing apart piece by piece.
“Come back to me, dammit,” I begged. “I love you, Cillian Ashmore. I love you with every ounce of my soul.”
The tears wouldn’t end, wetness imprinting on my cheeks, soaking into his shirt. I clutched him hard, waiting, wishing for a response yet knowing there wouldn’t be one. I had walked out when he needed me most, and that truth would haunt me for the rest of my life.
A hand rested on my back, warm, heavy, and reassuring.
A gasp sounded from behind me, and I sat up. The hand slid down my back but remained pressed against me.
Cillian stared at me. Those magnetic golden eyes were open.
I choked on a breath. “Are you…?”
His hand drifted up and down my back, and a riot of emotions welled inside me. The feel of his palm against me, the sheer electricity of his touch confirmed this was real. This wasn’t in my imagination.
“You came back,” he murmured, his beautiful eyes softening.
“I promised I would.” The words came out raw, my cheeks wet with tears. “Fuck, why didn’t you tell me? I never would’ve left if I’d known…”
“You love me?” he asked, his tone low and gravelly and hesitant.
“More than I believed possible,” I responded.
I gripped his shirt, meeting his gaze head-on.
He was here. He was here and talking to me, and I wouldn’t waste another second.
“And I’ll continue to love you for as long as you’ll have me.
” He stroked my back, even though he didn’t move from his spot—most likely too weak.
His lips twisted in a wry smile. “What about forever?”
My heart squeezed tight. “You’ll get sick of me.”
“Never,” he responded. “In case it wasn’t clear, I’ve been in love with you for a damn while now. And I didn’t think that was possible for me.”
Those words offered a balm to my soul I hadn’t realized I needed.
While our relationship had been tumultuous and full of fireworks from the start, this confession settled in like a spring breeze.
It carried the same scent of early blooms and promise, a fragility and hope there that I clasped tightly to me.
A cough sounded behind us. “As toothache-sweet as this reunion is, holy fuck, Cillian,” Amelia said, dropping to the ground beside me. I didn’t let go of him, not for a second, but I understood they were worried about him as well.
“I thought you were dead,” Charles said, his voice hauntingly quiet. “How….?”
“Do you need help up?” Theo asked. “Or are you planning on lying around down there for the next century?”
I shook my head and wiped my tear-blurred eyes on my sleeve.
I hadn’t let go of Cillian’s shirt, and I wasn’t planning on it.
He was lying here in front of me talking, moving, smiling at me.
Telling me he loved me. The ache inside me transmuted to something different, yet consuming all the same.
Not the agony of loss, but the depth of a love I’d never tapped into before.
More powerful than anything I’d experienced in this life.
“If you want to give me a hand…” Cillian said. “Can’t get upright on my own.”
“I’m waiting on an explanation,” Charles said. “So how about you conserve your energy for that.”
Theo snorted and settled behind Cillian, and I gripped Cillian’s arms as together we got him upright.
Once he was stable, I slid my hands down until they were interlinked with his, mine feeling small in his massive clutch.
I wasn’t moving an inch away from him. Part of me was terrified that if I looked away, he’d vanish before my eyes.
Cillian heaved out a weary sigh. “Truthfully, my best guess is that you managed to get to me in time. I’ve studied the curse a dozen different ways, searching for a loophole or anything I could do to combat it.
Once activated, it worked as a life drain, which would explain why I’m so weak right now. ”
“So you weren’t quite dead?” Charles said, disbelief ringing in his voice.
“If he was entirely dead, he wouldn’t have been able to come back,” Amelia confirmed. “I do know a thing or two about those types of curses.”
“Is the rose tattoo still on you?” I asked, checking his forearm. Where once there’d been the intricate black rose tattoo, only smooth red skin remained. Relief rushed through me in a fierce sweep.
“Yet now Thorin gets your company,” Charles said. “I watched you sign it over to Olivia and Henrick.”