Chapter 27 #2
Something shifted in his expression then – her trust being received as the invaluable thing it was. He held her gaze for a moment longer, and then he moved, and the restraint he had been holding fell away, and Jane stopped thinking about anything at all.
He was reaching deeper, stroking her walls with each thrust that left her feeling so full, she could scarcely breathe.
It was so hot, the sheen of sweat on their skin making the sensations feel a lot more severe as his fingers slipped and slid over her hips before he tightened his grip to hold her just right, bringing her to meet each roll of his hips.
Jane could feel her control weakening as pleasure built again and from the tight expression on his face, she knew he was close as well.
“Oh, my love,” he panted, moving faster. “So beautiful – I'm so fortunate to have you, my treasure.”
One last rough, hard thrust toppled them over and they came apart together, their moans mingling in the heavy air between them. Jane’s nerves felt as though they were on fire, and she arched off the bed, her chest heaving as she settled back against the sheets.
She winced as he pulled out of her and lay next to her, pulling her close to his chest immediately, as though he could not bear to be apart for a moment longer.
“I am blessed,” he murmured, his voice alight with wonder. “Profoundly, impossibly blessed to have you as my wife. I love you, Jane. I need you to know it – not once, but as many times as you will let me say it.”
She smiled against his chest, reaching up to cup his face tenderly with her hand.
“You may say it as often as you like,” she told him. “I intend to say it back.”
He pressed another kiss into her hair.
“Good,” he murmured. “I was rather hoping you would.”
She turned her face up toward his. “You are my blessing as well, Thomas. I never imagined – I had decided long ago that I would live without this. Without any of it. And I was so certain that I was right. Now... I cannot imagine now how I thought I could manage it. How I thought a life without you in it was something I could want.”
He held her closer and she tucked her face into his neck, allowing the peaceful warmth between them and the feeling of his steady heartbeat against her chest lull her to sleep.
The morning arrived gently, with its soft rays quietly slipping through the half-closed drapes, and Jane was not yet fully awake when she heard the door.
She did not have time to be properly alarmed before Reuben appeared at the foot of the bed, already dressed, his dark hair mused as though he had barely permitted his nanny to take it. Hie eyes were bright with delight as he saw her.
“Papa, you convinced her –” he began eagerly as he stepped closer.
“Reuben,” Thomas had sat bolt upright, sounding frazzled and confused.
Jane’s mind had finally caught up reality and she realized the reason for her husband’s reaction, tugging the covers up where they had slipped, barely covering her hips and backside, up to her chin.
Luckily, the front of her body had been tucked protectively into Thomas’ larger frame and he had shielded her from her son’s innocent gaze.
There was a moment of extraordinary silence as the parents wondered what they would do with their child.
“Reuben – Christ,” Thomas started as he extracted himself from bed at surprising speed after making sure Jane was concealed properly. “Outside, please. Right now. Give us a moment.”
Reuben blinked at the ceiling with the serene innocence of a child who still did not understand what he had walked into, which was, Jane reflected in her breathless horror, at least something to be grateful for.
He did, however, appear to understand that he had caused some form of general emergency, and he accepted Thomas' steering toward the door without a fuss.
“Stay just there, all right? It’ll only take a moment,” Thomas told Reuben firmly, patting his hair fondly before he pulled the door shut.
Jane pressed both hands over her mouth as her shoulders shook with mirth, spurred by the utter disbelief of what had just happened.
Thomas returned to her side, retrieved a dressing gown from the back of a chair, and helped her into it with hands that were only slightly unsteady.
“Not a word,” he mumbled.
“I haven't said anything,” she pointed out, schooling her expression to a serious one.
“I can hear you thinking it.”
She kissed him quickly, because she could, and because the expression on his face made her love him so acutely, she could not help it. He exhaled, collected himself, pressed a kiss to her forehead and then – after a moment's consideration – one to the top of her head as well.
“I'll go and arrange breakfast,” he said. “The sunroom. Join us when you're ready.”
He opened the door, pleased to find Reuben waiting patiently like an angel just outside, and he perked up when Thomas lowered himself down on one knee to press a kiss to the crown of the child's head.
“I am off to make breakfast arrangements for us, and you are welcome to join us. Would you like to come along?”
Reuben nodded, taking his father’s offered hand and Jane watched them go, her chest so full it ached.
She made her way back to her room, pleased to see that she had left behind some things that could serve her well in her current predicament. She got dressed in a simple dress and hurriedly brushed her hair, tying it back with a silk ribbon before she left her room.
She found Reuben again in the corridor outside her door – he had apparently circled back from the stairs rather than go all the way to the sunroom without her, and was waiting with his hands clasped behind his back.
Utterly charmed, she leaned down to adjust his hair to look less messy and kissed his forehead once she was done, before standing straight.
“You did not have to wait,” she smiled down at him.
“I wanted to,” he replied simply. “I did not want to be away from you for too long, mama.”
It was startling, the way he had just addressed her and the surprise burned pleasantly within her, causing tears to fill her eyes.
“Thank you, darling. You are quite the sweetheart, are you not?”
He nodded proudly and she giggled, taking his hand as they walked, and halfway down the stairs, he stopped, which made her stop too.
“I'm sorry I left the house,” he mumbled, looking down at their joined hands rather than at her. “I know I wasn't supposed to. But I looked everywhere and I couldn't find you. And Papa was sad again, like before.”
It seemed as though he had abruptly stopped himself from saying more and Jane lowered herself to his level, intending to coax him gently into admitting whatever haunted him. “What is it sweetheart?”
He looked up, and s could not help but notice the haunting fear in his eyes, her chest ached for him instinctively.
“I thought you had gone like Mama,” he admitted quietly. “And that you weren't coming back.”
She dropped to her knees immediately and gathered him in carefully into her arms, pressing kisses to his cheeks.
“I am here,” she said. “And I am staying. This is my home now. You and your father – you are my home.”
He was quiet against her shoulder. Then, soft and small, the single word sounding so uncertain as he uttered it,
“Forever?”
She drew back to look at him, and held out her smallest finger.
He stared at it for a moment. Then relief, pure and wholesome broke across his expression and he curled his little finger around hers.
“Forever,” Jane echoed with a sweet smile.
He nodded seriously and he took her hand properly in his, and they went down the rest of the stairs together.
When they arrived at the sunroom, Thomas was standing aside as two maids set the table.
He turned as they walked in, his expression openly portraying unbridled happiness in a way that filled Jane with happiness.
Reuben approached his father, telling him something about a fight he had witnessed on his adventure between a sparrow and a pigeon, the child still holding his mother’s hand. Thomas focused his attention on Reuben, even as he reached for Jane and wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her close.
There, in the golden light of the sun room, the word forever rang softly somewhere inside her, steady and sure, promising a future surrounded by love and warmth.
She had said it and she would stick to it, for the rest of her days.