Chapter 78
Dianna
“Y ou’re quiet.” I half turned on the chair I was standing on, hanging another string of big clear bulbs.
Samkiel grunted behind me, unwinding a few more sets of lights. “You are aware I can just put the decorations up there, correct? You do not need to balance on a flimsy chair.”
I scoffed as I clipped the last bit in place. I turned and placed my hands on my hips. “Yeah, but that takes all the fun out of it. It’s a holiday on Onuna, and if we are going to do this dinner, it needs to be perfect.”
He smiled or attempted one, at least.
“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been quiet since you got back from the council.” He handed me another set of lights, and I stretched to clip them in place. “I thought you’d be happy with everyone coming over.”
He glanced down at the lights he held for me, his thumb flicking over one large bulb. “Everyone is coming except Vincent, I believe.”
Oh, so that was what it was. I glanced at him. “Not surprised there. He hates me.”
“He’s… emotional, but so am I, I suppose.”
That got my attention. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I might have… attacked him?”
I almost fell off my chair. Samkiel reached out to steady me. “What?”
“He said some things about you. I just reacted.”
“Oh.”
I could only imagine the colorful things Vincent said about me. I knew his dislike came from centuries of being sworn enemies, but at times, it seemed to go deeper. Samkiel stared at the bulbs in his hands. They flickered to life, light dancing in them for just a moment before going out.
“So, no, he’s not coming, but it’s more because of me than you. He blames me for leaving, and he’s right. I left them all, secluding myself for a thousand years after Rashearim fell.”
“Samkiel, you know better th—”
“I’m trying, Dianna. I am, but I can’t keep from feeling as if all I do is fail.
One decision I make affects another, and so on and so on.
Anything I do… Vincent’s right. I don’t know what I’m doing.
My father always knew what to do and how to act.
If he saw me now, what I am, how I’d failed.
He would be disappointed. It’s not enough. ”
His powerful shoulders slumped, the literal weight of worlds resting on them. He dropped his head, hiding the unshed tears in his eyes.
“Hey, it’s enough. You are enough,” I said, jumping off my chair. I placed my hands on his arms, and he glanced down at me. “You lost your world and your father in a war you feel you caused. Trust me. You could have done a lot worse. You know, like go on a murderous rampage.”
Samkiel’s lips twitched, but he didn’t smile. “I suppose. I just wish they were all here. But I understand things have changed, and everything is different.”
That part hit me hard. Everything was different.
Here I was, trying to make this time with Samkiel’s family special and important, doing things I had done when Gabby and I would celebrate The Fall.
The lights always made her happy. I thought it would do the same for all of us.
Even the dishes I forced him to help me make when he returned meant something.
“No one can be mad when they have delicious food. It’s basic science.”
“That’s not science, Gabby.”
“Who has a degree? Yeah, that’s right.”
The memory came and left, and I let it, accepting both the pain and the warmth that came with it. I sighed. “I get it. Everything has changed, and you miss your family.”
“I do.”
“Maybe separating will be good for you all. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“Perhaps.”
“Or,” I squeezed his arms, “I can kill him. Just say the word.”
He looked down as he shook his head. “That will only prove his point.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll wear a pretty dress tonight to make you feel better.”
He gave me a small smile, a crack in that thick, heavy armor. “You’re too kind.”
I stepped forward, the lights between us glowing from his power as I whispered, “With nothing on underneath.”
The lights burned brighter, illuminating both of us.
“I’m healed.”
I laughed and placed my hand against his cheek, wanting to protect him as furiously as he had always protected me.
The darkest part of me, made of razor teeth, claws, and armored scales, seemed to grin widely at the thought of just how far I knew I would go to do just that.
So I let a tiny sliver in that cracked locked door shine through when I spoke next.
“I am sorry, though. I wish I could make it better, truly.”
“It’s not you. Things were rough long before you. Thank you for this. That you are doing all of this for us means a lot. It’s nice.” Samkiel glanced around the large deck, the tan railing made of the same pale stone as the palace.
I winked at him. “I’m a nice girl.”
Samkiel grinned, and every light I had hung up fell, the cord dragging them down one by one as if the universe disagreed.
“Well,” I said in a disgusted huff. Samkiel laughed, and I shook my head. “Just fix it, please.”
Samkiel’s smile never wavered as he lifted one hand and snapped his fingers. The lights hung themselves, draped perfectly along the awning and the railing, glowing with a soft, warm light. A large table appeared in the middle of the deck, the place settings and flowers flawless.
I stared. “You know, if this god thing doesn’t work out, you could also have a career in party planning.”
He chuckled, low and deep. “It is perfect,” he said, but he didn’t look at the lights or the arrangements, just at me.
We turned away, heading back into the house, and even without my powers, I felt him behind me like always. I went to the large fridge, taking out an assortment of dishes we had prepared earlier.
“I hope they like it. I’m doing this for all of you. They have been kind to me, even when I didn’t deserve it, and Gabby….” I paused, my throat closing. “Stay here,” I said, deciding to bring down another layer of walls.
I ran upstairs to the one dresser where I kept some old clothes and one of Gabby’s shirts.
My fingers found the note I’d buried at the bottom of the pile.
When I returned, Samkiel was still in the same place, waiting.
Samkiel always waited for me. I stopped in front of him, the warmth of his power enveloping me.
I held up the crumpled piece of my heart.
He looked at me and took the note. Watching him unfold the paper made my chest ache. His eyes met mine once more before he read, and the seconds felt like years. He folded it as if it were the most precious thing he had ever held.
“She loved them. She felt like she had a family with them, a home, and she wanted that for me, too. So I want to do something nice for those who cared for someone so precious to me. Especially when I have not been so kind.”
His hands cupped my face and kissed my lips, his forehead resting against mine, grounding me in his taste, scent, and touch.
“This is beautiful, Dianna. Thank you for sharing.”
I nodded, a sliver of calm trying to overcome the recent rush of emotions. I laid my head against his chest, and we held each other. “You show me your dark secrets, and I show you mine.”
“That indeed.”
“I hope it gets better. For both of us.”
Samkiel swayed with me in his arms. “It will. Trust me. This is not something you just recover from in months or even years, but I will be here with you every step of the way, whatever you need, just like you have been for me. You led me out of my darkness, Dianna. Now let me lead you, or I can follow you into the dark, but there is no me without you. Not anymore. Do you understand?”
I shook my head. “No, I think you need to remind me. Preferably naked.”
He laughed for the first time since he had returned. “Perhaps later. If you’re nice.”
“So, that means I can’t kill Vincent?”
His hand stroked my back. “No, you can’t kill Vincent.”
“Fine,” I said with a disappointed sigh.
* * *
I fixed the back straps of the tiny black dress I had Samkiel make me. I told him he could only look and not touch until later since he forbade me from killing Vincent. He claimed I was torturing him and got me back by wearing a button-up white shirt and dark slacks that fit too fucking well.
Everyone arrived by one, all dressed up and devastatingly beautiful. I almost forgot they were mere celestials, given they all looked damn near godly in their finery.
I passed out drinks, nervous and desperate for tonight to go well.
They stood around the kitchen, talking and laughing together.
They had so many stories of battles and the time they’d spent together.
If written, they could fill a library. After a few glasses of wine, I relaxed.
I was still giggling over a story Xavier told me that involved Cameron and Imogen getting caught shooting at some old god’s favorite tapestry when the room went quiet.
Vincent walked in.
He wore slacks and a loose-fitting shirt. Samkiel stopped mid-sentence when he made eye contact with Vincent.
“I brought cake,” Vincent said with a small shrug, holding up a pink box as if unsure of what else to say. “Cameron likes chocolate, and that’s all they had.”
Cameron pushed past me. “Fuck yes, I do.”
“No.” The wine glass in my hand shattered, my temper snapping along with it. I focused on him. The predatory drive was so innate in me that I would shred his skin from the bone if I had my damn powers. Fire or not, my attitude was not something I’d lost with my powers.
“Dianna,” Samkiel said from behind me. Every eye, including Vincent’s, was on me.
I strode toward Vincent, crashing to a halt in front of him. “I don’t care if you loathe me, but disrespecting someone who would die for you is lower than low, even for you.”
“Dianna.” I felt Samkiel’s hand on my arm as he pulled me away from Vincent.
Vincent didn’t speak, didn’t move.