Chapter 12 #2
“Hey,” I said, trying for casual. Luckily I was so sleep-deprived that everything I said was a bit carefree and laidback, like it was when I’d been drinking. “Like the look. I’m guessing this one isn’t Shiyun official apparel?”
She grinned. Jesus Christ, that fucking smile. How the hell was she single? Was everyone too intimidated to ask her out? Because I sure as hell would be. “Shiyun doesn’t need to know anything about what’s going on here,” she said, a finger to her lips. “Keep it hush for me, Houdini.”
“I’ll pull a magic trick and make your secrets disappear. Glad you managed to pull one of your own to get away from it all, make some time to meet this sorry crew belting some half-assed rhymes.”
She laughed, her eyes sparkled, and briefly, I wondered if I got hit by a car on my way to the studio and this was just me seeing the light, an angel coming down to escort me into heaven. No, that wasn’t right. I wasn’t going to heaven. “No place in this city I’d rather be, Houdini.”
Well, that had to be a lie. But then again, I guess she’d chosen to be here.
Which brought me back to my earlier point: holy shit.
I remembered where I was long enough to nudge Stephen’s shoulder.
“Well, this is Helena. Friend of mine who’s working with me on the promo biz around the upcoming Jewel event.
Helena, the one, the only, Stephen Shale. ”
“Wow, Miss, I, uh, hi,” Stephen said, putting a hand out for the clammiest, most nervous handshake I’d ever seen.
Helena took it gracefully, pretending Stephen didn’t look like he was about to pass out in front of her.
I hated this kid right now. Not because he’d done anything wrong, but because I was seeing myself from the outside, and god did I look like a fucking loser.
“Thanks for c-coming to see us. And to work with Miss Boss.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you, Mr. Stephen Shale. Are you going to disappoint me?”
“N-no, m-ma’am.”
“Well, we’ll see about that. I’m very judgmental.” She dropped Stephen’s hand, turning to me with a sly smile. “So, Miss Boss…”
“Oh, god. Don’t tell me I picked up another embarrassing nickname.”
“I’m going to have to start my own app to keep track of them at this rate.
” She gave me a playful little push, the kind I’d learned she was so fond of.
As always, my brain exploded into static when she touched me, fingertips lingering just a bit on my shoulder as she pulled back.
“And I’m still waiting for mine. I’m going to have to start judging you both. ”
God, I was glad Stephen was too stunned by the presence of a hot girl to take in the conversation.
I didn’t need him asking me about my crush on the city’s most unattainable woman.
“Well, you heard her, Stephen Shale,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure he did.
“I’ve already gotten judged. Up to you now to impress her. ”
His face flushed, and he stood up taller. “Yeah, all right, Miss. Just watch me. I think you’ll like my beats. I can drop a freestyle for you.”
“Let’s go with the song I wrote you,” I said, cutting in a little sharply, and his face fell just a bit.
“Oh, uh, okay.”
Crisis averted.
He didn’t suck too bad, once I got him on the keys, an upright Yamaha with a dusty vintage tone, and had him singing lines he’d practiced before, the backing track filling the space around us.
Helena stood at the side with me, looking impressed, and most of all, she cast impressed-looking glances at me, as if she was happy with what I was doing here, which, again, brought me back to the earlier subject: holy shit.
“That’s good,” Helena said once he finished. “It’s got soul, feeling.”
“You’ve come a long way, Stephen Shale,” I said. “Only just beginning, though, am I right?”
“Ha. Yeah,” he said, spinning around on the piano bench and sitting like the proper kid in class. Whatever. “You got some good bars, Miss Branch.”
Helena smiled wider, her eyes fixed unerringly on me in a way that I felt normal and cool about. “So, was this the song you promised to write me, or do I still have that to look forward to?”
Was—was she flirting with me in front of Stephen? God, I hoped this wasn’t getting back to Kingmaker. “Nah,” I said. “Still working on that one. You’ll know when you hear it.”
Stephen spoke up. “You’ve got another one you’re working on?”
“Hey, I’ve been working on this hit, too.
I do a lot of things at once. So, what do you think?
” I said, turning to Helena, leaning back against the wall next to the drum kit.
“Normally we hit up our local studio, but we came to this one today to try doing something serious, get a record. Nothing huge, just so we got something in Stephen Shale’s portfolio when we’re moving to bigger stages. You think it’s good?”
She laughed a little self-deprecatingly. “I’m not the musician here,” she said, which, like, neither was I, but I wasn’t telling her that. “I think it’s good. It’s a bit raw, but it’s real. You can feel a lot of the passion… but you’re a better judge than I am.”
“Hear that, Stephen Shale?” I said. “Looks like you didn’t disappoint her after all.”
“Aw, gee,” he said, which, again, this kid came in and said he wanted to be cooler than cool, and he was dropping aw, gee.
Nothing harder than a hip-hop legend going gee whiz.
He was still blushing hard over Helena, which, like, Christ, so was I, but I needed him to stop being a mirror of the most embarrassing parts of me.
“Right then,” I said, standing up. “C’mon, Helena. We’ll grab the tech and get recording. Stephen, keep warming up.”
I’d only just slid the door shut behind me, the door sweep brushing over the carpet as it went and latching hard to shut off the sound, when Helena spoke softly behind me. “So… dare I ask why you’re Miss Branch here, when you’re not being Miss Boss?”
I tried for a casually self-deprecating smile even though I felt like I’d be sick.
I’d explained to her briefly over text before today, hoping that using enough of an oh-by-the-way tone would make it come across as unremarkable, that in the music industry I was Julie Branch, using my maiden name.
When she accepted it without question, I thought maybe I was in the clear, that she didn’t want to go near the topic of my fictional marriage.
But here she was, with just the two of us in a dimly lit hallway gleaming with commemorative plaques on the walls, Helena standing close to me, she was going near the topic.
“You know,” I said, shrugging. “Wanted to be my own person.”
“How long have you been… attending events without him?”
I looked down. “Not… not long.”
She was quiet for a second before, softly, she said, “I know you’re trying to get work done. But just for the sake of asking… are you okay?”
God, of course I fucking wasn’t. I was working overtime every damn day running myself ragged just for the tiniest chance at being able to claw my way out of this hole, and I didn’t have anyone around me I could really trust, really confide in—nobody I trusted with the whole story—and I knew the whole thing was one inconvenient thread pull away from coming unraveled.
I compartmentalized most of the time, but with Helena giving me that soft look and speaking gently, I crumpled, just a little.
“Just fine,” I said, but my voice was thin and wavered at the edges.
“Are you safe?”
Well, that was a hell of a question. I wasn’t safe in the slightest. However, it was extremely unlikely that Mr. Evans-Pierre was going to do anything to me. I did love a technicality. “He’s not going to hurt me,” I said, my voice small. She put a hand on my arm.
“I’m here if there’s anything I can do for you, okay?”
I pushed out a breath, taking a second to make sure I didn’t cry. “I’m good,” I said in a thin, teary laugh. “I mean, hell, I’ve got talent like Stephen Shale in my pocket. Kid’s gonna hit the big leagues.”
She smiled cautiously. “I see we’re compartmentalizing and using humor to avoid the subject.”
“Okay, I said I was safe, but clearly I was not safe from you. Shiyun sends their best in terms of cutting analysis.”
“Just saying, I’ve been worried about you.” She put a hand on my arm, and I softened into it. The fact that she was so compassionate, so kind, so good, while I was lying to her face, just burned me alive.
“Well, that goes both ways, you know?” I said. “You’re dealing with a lot. But… maybe we’ve got something in common.”
“Aside from classical Greek myth, because I’ve been rereading the Odyssey lately.”
Oh, god. I blushed so hard I was sure she could see it even in the low lights of the hallway. “Oh, uh. Enjoying it?”
“Tell me what else we have in common?” she laughed, that small smile playing on her lips.
She had way too much fun teasing me. “You know, just… we’re… both trying to build something we shouldn’t. Right? I know I’m flying by the seat of my pants figuring this whole thing out. And you always look so… cool and effortless, but I bet you feel the same way.”
Her smile strained a little, looking down at the floor. “Is it obvious?”
“Not in the slightest. I think it’s just because I know what to look for.”
“I really shouldn’t be here, doing this. I feel like… like I’m going to turn a corner to find someone I know, someone connected to Shiyun, and Linyue is going to have my head on a platter. It’s silly to be this scared of my parents at my big age.”
“I’m glad you are,” I said. “Glad you’re here, doing this, I mean. You’re obviously a great model, and you obviously do great with Shiyun, but… I like seeing your ambition. Seeing how you just… light up when you’re pursuing what you want.”
She gave me a loaded smile, something gleaming in her eyes, before playfully, teasingly, she said, “Are you flirting with me?”
“No—no, no. I’m not.” I scratched my head. “Not knowingly. Not intentionally.”
She laughed, standing up taller. “Thank you,” she said. “Then I suppose we’ll both just do our best. And I’ll be there for you. I appreciate you doing the same for me.”
“Oh, uh… yeah.” I mean, I’d die for her if she so much as thought it, but yeah, I’d do the same for her. “Here’s to chasing our dreams.”
“I’ll drink to that,” she said. “Not tonight, though. I’m too booked tonight to go out for drinks. Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” That word had never confused me before, but in the context of Helena Warrick asking me out for drinks, any day would be confusing.
She had to know by now I had a crush on her.
Was she planning on making a move on me even thinking I was married?
I should have said no. Estelle and Kingmaker would both kill me if I said yes. “I can do tomorrow, yeah.”
“Great. It’s on me, then,” she said, with a wink that hit me in my core. “To say thanks for taking me on board, Miss Boss.”
That just made it sound more like a date. “I’m mad at you, you know. I can’t give you an embarrassing nickname if you keep being perfect in every way.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m not,” she laughed. “Just look a little closer and you’ll see. Now, are we getting that tech or not?”
Jesus, I’d forgotten we were even in a studio. Poor Stephen was probably wondering if we’d gotten lost in the halls. “Psh… sure. I’ll be watching like a hawk. Waiting for that first embarrassing thing you do. It’s going to live forever in infamy.”
“I can’t wait,” she said with another wink, starting on ahead of me. Unsteadily, I followed along, even though my heart felt like it would explode.